> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fug the Show: American Idol FINALE! FINALMENTE! - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-american-idol-finale-finalmente-gallery/ - Published: 2012-05-30T18:00:58.000Z - Updated: 2012-05-29T20:51:30.000Z - Author: Heather - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:30 ## Yo ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/img_2414-1280x853.jpg) "I may not do another season, lovers. I am SO BUSY. I have to write songs about having sex on floors and walls and things, AND I am writing a rock opera on ice about people who do aerobics during *Game of Thrones*." ## El Randy ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2418-1280x853.jpg) "And Randy is busy too, cutting up all his shirts and mixing up the pieces before sewing them back together. Ay, lovers, if I could have ONE MINUTE in his closet, he would look like a warrior, or possibly Xena: Warrior Princess." ## ACK ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2422-1280x853.jpg) "Am I happy to see Lisa Rinna? Well, that *depends*. HAHAHAHAHAHA. No, seriously, it depends on whether she tries to talk to me. Someone has TP'd her -- because they know she is wearing Depends? -- and I do not need to squeeze El Charmin." ## Yoooooooo ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2423-1280x853.jpg) "But for El Finale Grande or whatever, I went with Classic *Yo*: sparkly maybe-skin and HOLA LEGGERS." ## Blondie ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2425-1280x853.jpg) "Even Carrie Underskirt is thinking, 'Ahhh, Jennifer, you are the only real genius of our shared generation. Ick-yonce is a JOKE compared to your BEAUTY.' I am paraphrasing, lovers, but it is all there in her face." ## Fantasia ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2428-1280x853.jpg) "This hurts my FEELINGS, lovers. All the scream-singing in the world cannot save Fanta from looking like somebody tried to re-pave her. Why do these people do it, lovers? Why do they try to wear things I would do better? Why does anyone do anything? Why is this show not just two hours of me sitting in a chair, lovers? Ay, it is so sweet of people to *try*, but so useless." ## Rihvolta ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2433-1280x853.jpg) "And then we sat back and watched *Battlefield Earth*." ## RiRi ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2438-1280x853.jpg) "It was the worst finale we have ever had, lovers. This person got up there and did the chicken dance in a loin cloth with her thighs. She looked like *Avatar* without the Smurf part. I kept waiting for her to harpoon Shrivelsmith in the blowhole." ## Ickoskank ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/aerosmith.jpg) "And then Skeeven did a segment with his relatives." ## El Dawg ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2450-1280x853.jpg) "At least Randy's buttons know he is a cartoon now HAHAHAHA. Ay, Jenny, you've still got it." ## Boring couple ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2479-1280x853.jpg) "And then an old contestant from A.L. -- that is *Antes Lopez*, which I used to call B.J. until people started giggling -- named Ace Hoozit proposed to some other person named Diana DeWhatever and it was all so nice but it took him like TEN HOURS to spit it out and she STILL acted shocked when he took out the ring and I think lovers it is because she is on a soap opera now and so she is trained not to feel things until the end of the scene. Good luck on your first marriage, *ninos*! You will laugh at this on *numero cuatro*." ## JENNIFER ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2452-1280x853.jpg) "And speaking of people who still have It, HOLA, IT IS *YO* AGAIN. BUSY HAVING IT. I have so much It that I had to wear big pants to contain all my It. Side pockets are for wimps, lovers. It takes a real man to pick THIS pocket." ## Woooo ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2466-1280x853.jpg) "Lookit! I went from Planet Blockotopia to Guardian Block Angel to Block Party to Block PARTAYYYY." ## MAS PARTY ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2475-1280x853.jpg) "I do not need lasers or judges or inflatable animals. I have human pinwheels, lovers. I make men spin. I could do Marc with one hand, but shhh, that is because he is made of papier mache." ## Adios ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2478-1280x853.jpg) "And that is how we ended things, lovers: On me in a muscle sandwich. Oh, and some boy won and blah blah blah kidney guitar growl blah and Aeroscreech yelled things into a microphone and it killed a couple of birds I think. But mostly it was about me. THIS is why I cannot maybe do the show again, lovers. How am I going to top this? Where do I go from Crotch Balloon? Ay, maybe I will get married on next year's finale, although I probably cannot wait that long! It has been MONTHS now, lovers! I have the itch! So *adios*, and buy all my things and stuff. *Besos* forever." [Fug the Show: American Idol FINALE! FINALMENTE!"HOLA LOVERS. I told you. I told you I would wear something shocking and fabuloso, just in case this is my last Lopez Idol and they have to change the name of this to Blige Idol or Gwen Idol or Tom Hanks's Wife Idol or whatever. (Psst: Do not tell but I will stay if they pay me as much as Britney is getting from Simon Cowell, and also if they build me a bonita glittery disease bubble.) I call this outfit Joan of Arcercise, because on my show here, I am the beautiful young warrior who fights Evil(smith) and looks good in pants and probably also has God's iPhone number. What, lovers? I need it. He got me out of a jam a few times, like when Marc tried to make my spleen INTO jam. You don't want to know. Or at least not until I write a book you can buy, lovers."![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/img_2414-1280x853.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-american-idol-finale-finalmente/)