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# Fug the Show: American Idol, Five to Four
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-american-idol-five-to-four/
- Published: 2012-05-07T20:00:29.000Z
- Updated: 2012-05-07T20:09:14.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:30

## AYUDANME

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/img_2248-800x533.jpg)

"Lovers! The head of Hufflecuff house up there will not let me go! He grabbed me! HE CLUTCHED ME, LOVERS.

## Yo, before

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/FFN_AmericanIdol_Judges_PRROFF_050212_9040743.jpg)

"*Este* is what my face looked like when I heard he was talking about touching me. Has he not seen my guns, lovers? My shirt looks like I am a gymnast. I can snap him like a toothpick and put my foot through his neck and then give him to Marc to pick the veins out of his teeth."

## Randy

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2249-800x533.jpg)

"Lovers, why is Randy being Mr. Brooch this season? Does Randy need a gimmick? Does he not already have 'dawg' and 'Yo' and 'In it to win it' and 'pitchy' and 'I liked it man' and that thing where he opens his mouth and doesn't make sense?"

## Randy II

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2265-800x533.jpg)

"And now he has TWO PINS. But ssh, lovers, he is still *ocho* pins short of a full frame, if you know what I mean."

## LA LIBERTAD

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/77245PCN_IDOL_RESULTS58.jpg)

"HOLA, LEPER. DO YOU SEE ME OVER HERE? AND YOU OVER THERE? You get La Lopez once, shame on you, but you get her twice, AND I CUT YOU LIKE THE CAT-SCRATCH ZIPPERS ON MY *PANTALONES*."

## Carrie Underskirt

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2263-800x533.jpg)

"And then this person came out and sang a boring song and blah blah blah WE SEE YOU, Angelina Blowlie. Also, you do not know how to have a leg until you have had MY LEGS. JUST YOU WAIT."

## DELICIOSO

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2258-800x533.jpg)

"AND THEN. LOVERS. Look at the arm steel. Is THAT what a Mylo Xylophone or whatever is, and where can I get a stick and play one? Since when is Coldplay full of hotplay? Is that GHOUL or GOO or whatever person making him do push-ups and lift coffins and spin them? That is how I got mine, so I an just wondering."

## Sniff

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2269-800x533.jpg)

"Lovers, this is the part where I cried when the country girl left the show. It is wonderful, no? So tender! But what you don't know is, Steven had just exhaled and it smelled like cemetery. Maybe I should keep him? It is good for my image to be beautiful AND like a tragic *flor*. Ay, well, it is also good practice for when I marry my child groom and I cry like it is the first time even though it is the @!#@$th."

[Fug the Show: American Idol, Five to Four"LOVERS! IT GOT ME! RUN! IT IS NOT SAFE HERE! But before you do, think about the fact that if you do not save me first, then I will not be here to be beautiful for you, and your brain will go boom and drip out your nose and then you will start screaming Blareosmith songs and become a danger to yourselves. So... save me, save yourself."![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/img_2248-800x533.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-american-idol-five-to-four-05-2012/)