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# Fug the Show: American Idol, Three to Two
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-american-idol-three-to-two-gallery/
- Published: 2012-05-23T16:00:17.000Z
- Updated: 2012-05-22T20:11:21.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:30

## Yooo

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/idol1.jpg)

"This week, lovers... well, let me be honest, I did not care. Do I want the winner to be gospel boy, or growly boy, or small girl? Eh. Nobody will remember. And so it is hard to DRESS for public snoozytime, lovers. I tried -- *ay*, I tried, tucking my *pantalones* into my *zapatos* like it was Ankle Wednesday and Marc looked snacky -- but zzzzz. *Lo siento*.

## Randy

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/randy.jpg)

"All I left you to look at was Randy. And all he gave you was a broken clock and a blood clot."

## YO YO MAS

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/78032PCN_Jlo04.jpg)

"I had to apologize, lovers, for leaving you with nothing. AND SO, HERE I COME with my brightness and my flowy! I am like Red Bull for your eyes! You wave me in front of a horny animal and it says, 'Who is that ocean of yes? I must swim in it.' And then eventually I wrestle it to the floor and write a song about it and dance it out in glitter panties. But shh, that is for someday."

## Dios mio

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2396.jpg)

"This is me praying. I am saying, "Dear *Dios*, please do not let Mummysmith open his mouth because I do not like the smell of tomb rot."

## Yo

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2407.jpg)

"And then *QUE ES ESTE*? Who is this angel in bright colors and pleated pants? Lovers, IT IS ME. I am doing the ACTING. See? I would never wear any of those peasant clothes, or have a glass of water on my table that is not being gently coaxed to the right temperature by an army of gladiators! It is PRETEND. But you believe! Because I am talented. HOLA EMMY."

## Sigh

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/ice_age.jpg)

"Lovers, apparently I talked in some movie? And now they are making me pretend to talk TO things from the movie? I do not know. But lovers, here is my wisdom: Sometimes fake people are the best listeners. And they cannot give you elbow gangrene or whatever, AHEM, Aeroscurvy."

## Girl Elvis

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/IMG_2411.jpg)

"Lovers, they tell me this person is Elvis Presley's daughter. But she sounds, when she sings, like the child of Stevie Nicks and a coffee grinder. Maybe she should go back through the looking glass and leave the Mad Hatter's band behind HAHAHAHAHA, *el ZING*! You did not know I had read books! Shh, I didn't. I saw the movie. Shh, I didn't do that either; I went to Disneyland and rode the thingamy with my tiny children. Shh, I didn't do that either; I stayed outside and texted my manager while the nanny took them. Shhh, and by 'outside' I mean 'at the hotel spa.' And by 'hotel' I mean 'some place in Las Vegas.'"

## Yo y El Macho

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/FFN_Smart_Lopez_FF7_052012_9104307.jpg)

"And so, lovers, I am inspired. Caftan Presley up there made me want to go shopping for something SHOCKING. Something *FABULOSO* for the finale tonight. And that is why I wore this jumpsuit, lovers. It is my shopping prison. I have to really, REALLY want to try on whatever it is, in order to Shawshank out of this outfit. HA. You did not know I saw IMPORTANT SAD MOVIES. But I DO. And by 'saw' I mean 'sat on the bed while Marc flipped past TNT in search of some horror channel that was showing Buffy re-runs.' But it COUNTS. See you tonight, lovers! Bring your eyeballs. But let us be honest, you can leave your ears behind. I'm sure Marc will watch them for you HAHAHAHAAH except actually he will, he used to offer to do that for me all the time."

[Fug the Show: American Idol, Three to Two"Hola, lovers. Shh. Can you hear it? That is the sound of FREEDOM and it is SO CLOSE, lovers, I can taste it, and it has the flavor of Vitamin C. What, you think I am not going to load up after six months sitting next to Aeroshrivel? HAHHAHAHA you are so cute, lovers."![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/idol1.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-american-idol-three-to-two/)