> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fug the Show: Carrie Diaries, episode 3 - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-carrie-diaries-episode-3/ - Published: 2013-01-31T20:00:25.000Z - Updated: 2013-08-28T19:13:08.000Z - Author: Heather - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:31 ## Carrie ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2408.png) I say again: This show could never have been done in another time, because all this stuff is coming back around again. ## AnnaSophia Robb ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2412.xml) "My hair looks like something just surprised the hell out of it." ## Sebastian ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2413.xml) "Mine too, baby. Mine too." ## The gang ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2415.xml) So: Maggie is denying that she's a drama queen about breaking up with Walt, Carrie is all drooly over Sebastian still, and Mouse is wearing a Huxtable's sweater. ## The gang ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2417.png) Also, Maggie is like a foot taller than the other two, though the three of them have a nice chemistry that is clearly supposed to remind us of Carrie's future posse of ladies. And we need to give props to the extra on the left, for very period-accurate slouchy boots. ## Carrie and Larissa ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2418.xml) Larissa is the person on the show that they allow to look full cracked-out '80s, because I think she's the person they are least worried about making These Kids Today turn off their TV sets. Like, if Carrie was walking around in those pants, the show would be a joke to teens. But she's wearing stuff that's not that far removed from what's in Forever 21, and they let Larissa -- who is the far-out one already -- be the beacon of fug that was that decade. ## Carrie and Sebastian ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2422.png) Look! The pre-earbud days. Austin Butler does a LOT of middle-distance smouldering on this show. ## Dadshaw and Carrie ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2424.png) Okay, some plot: Dadshaw is having trouble being a tampon-buying single parent, but he realizes the widower thing is an easy in with the ladies... and isn't ready to use it. Okay, done with THAT (I like Dadshaw, though; that actor always works for me). Carrie wants to convince Dadshaw that Sebastian is a nice guy, but Dadshaw won't hear it. He also clumsily buys Stouffer's, French bread, and then pizza for Dorrit, who of course wanted Stouffer's French-Bread Pizza. HAR. Dadshaw is having a rough time -- so rough, in fact, that he neglects to tell Carrie NEVER to wear those pastel ombre nightmare pants again. ## Dorrit ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2426.xml) And Dorrit storms out, FURIOUS that her father doesn't understand her need for French bread pizza, and shoplifts a hamster. For real. This happens. ## Dorrit ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2427.xml) However, I love her little camera ring. But it doesn't feel like a ring you would own in an era where those cameras were the norm. You'd wear it now that everyone uses iPhones and you want to be retro. ## Carrie ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2430.png) So, Carrie sneaks into Dadshaw's Secret Files, and it turns out he was Sebastian's lawyer when Sebastian was kicked out of school for sleeping with his teacher. What's a virgin to DO? ## Mouse ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2431.xml) Mouse thinks Carrie should not date him; Mags thinks that dating someone who knows what they're doing isn't the worst thing. Typically, Carrie is pragmatic about it and refuses to rush to judgment, because the show hasn't figured out her personality beyond, "Generally nice; occasionally fibs to father and then immediately owns up to it." Also, Mouse is working the Brenda Walsh about eight years too early, although I don't remember 1984 that well because I was only seven AHEM I MEAN IN UTERO OBVIOUSLY so I wasn't paying attention to whether teenagers were in neckties. ## Carrie and Dorrit ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2434.png) Carrie finds Morrissey the Hamster and gives Dorrit a big lecture on zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Also, Dorrit would never have the red-lip phone. Hers would be a skull. ## Carrie and Mouse ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2437.xml) So, Mouse's summer fling wants to meet her in the city, so Carrie convinces her/them to go to a club with Larissa. Carrie looks adorable and totally au courant. They really are jumping through hoops to give her relatable fashion that could also pass as period clothes, but I'm not actually sure this outfit DOES pass as 1984. ## Very brightly colored outfits ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2449.xml) But it's not a club, it's performance art: Some ex-porn star named Monica Penny is charging, yes, a penny for an up-close peek at her vagina, Sharon Stone-style, except of course that hadn't happened yet. Mouse is horrified and runs away, and Larissa prattles on annoyingly about how this is about FREEDOM and RECLAIMING ONE'S PURITY and blah blah blah people were as pretentious then as they still can be. And Larissa's outfit remains hilariously bad. I seriously think kids' Benetton sold that. ## Monica and Carrie ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2452.png) So, of course, Carrie is summoned up by Monica because she looks so innocent, and is encouraged not to let men own her and to control her truth, and Carrie gets into it until Monica demands that she show everyone HER vagina. And we seriously have a bunch of people cheering for a vag faire as an act out. I feel like Adult Carrie would have told Samantha this story and Samantha would've been like, "Oh, where do you think Monica GOT that idea?" ## Larissa ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2459.xml) So, Larissa is a hideous douche about Carrie refusing to drop trou, saying she mistakenly thought Carrie could really BE somebody. Carrie insists that NOT flashing herself is owning her power just as much, so Larissa decides they can be friends again. If you're keeping score, that's two episodes in a row where Larissa shits on Carrie for not doing what Larissa wants. Larissa sucks. ## Panda Bear ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2446.png) HULK STAB. Maggie is going on a drama queen rampage about her breakup with Walt, including murdering the teddy bear that led to their first kiss. This was sad. Seriously, thanks to Toy Story, I sometimes apologize to stuffed animals when I accidentally toss them around too hard and/or put them away in compromising positions. This panda is the hero of the piece. ## Dorrit ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2455.png) Also, can we discuss that the Bradshaws' front door opens the wrong way? Although my side door opens out rather than in, so maybe it's just... personal preference. ## Dorrit and Mags ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2456.png) Dorrit has lost the hamster, so Maggie agrees to look for it while Dorrit fixes the beheaded panda. They bond over Dorrit understanding that Maggie needs to stop denying being a drama queen, and just let the emotions play out, blah blah blah hamster. ## Carrie ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2461.png) Carrie tries again with her father about Sebastian, and admits she snooped in the files. Dadshaw is ENRAGED and says that could get him into huge trouble. (Then keep them locked up better, sir.) He is VERY disappointed in Carrie. Again. After she confessed her sin. Again. Patterns. ## Carrie and Sebastian ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/01/cIMG_2463.png) THEN, Carrie goes to Sebastian and interrupts their making out by stumbling through a speech about how she's not as experienced as he is, and blurts out that she's thought about him boning his teacher and she's totally okay with it. He's like, "Um, what?" She THEN word-vomits that she saw it in her dad's files, and turns out Sebastian had no idea there were ever lawyers or files involved. He completely freaks out, tells her that all the yapping and the overthinking and snooping isn't going to work for him, and bails. I don't blame him. But the wig is looking resplendent in this shot. ## Dadshaw and Dorrit ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2462.xml) Dadshaw finds the hamster. Dorrit masterfully mentions that their mother had said she could have one, so Dadshaw breaks down and lets her keep it. It's a Grief Hamster. ## Pet Shop Girls ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2466.xml) So of course, the Bradshaws go to the pet store, Dorrit pays for Grief Hamster (while the store owner is remarkably cheerful about the shoplifting), and they all pick out a cage for Morrissey after Carrie apologizes to her father for her transgressions. Again. So everyone is temporarily forgiven and happy, and both the vaginas and the hamsters are in the cage. Also, Vaginal Grief Hamster is totally some idiot's band name somewhere. [Fug the Show: Carrie Diaries, episode 3The major plotlines this week involved... a hamster, and a vagina. Not together. But still. It will be nice when this show finds its footing a bit better; there's something lovely about how innocent it is that the main conflicts involve upsetting your dad or your sister and family bonding and whatnot, but it feels like we're treading water a little until the show really figures itself out.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2013/01/cimg_2408.png)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-carrie-diaries-episode-3-01-2013/)