Carrie and Walt
These two crazy kids have Halloween plans together. Because Walt has dumped Maggie and needs to be cheered up; otherwise he will just sit around wearing sweaters his grandmother knitted for... probably his sister. And Carrie can't handle walking the same halls as Sebastian or else her pelvis will light on fire, which will really thwart her attempts to be blase about their awful breakup.
Carrie
In fact, she's all Sad Wig about how he didn't invite her to the Halloween party he is throwing at their diner -- which he rented out; really, he's been kicked out of a bunch of private schools, but his family is cool with him renting out a DINER for an unchaperoned high-school party? Have they never SEEN an '80s movie? Oh, wait.
Mouse and Maggie
Mouse is all, "WE HATE HIM," and Maggie is all, "I'm going to banter with Walt so that y'all know we're cool now," and in a nutshell the two of them decide to go to Sebastian's party so they can spy on him. Mouse seems to think this is disloyal, but I'm pretty sure that in real life ANY girl would be like, "YES, PLEASE GO AND SPY," especially when there is a crazy-lipped neon maneater like Donna LaDonna who will be licking her chops. Note: If you are expecting her to show up, you will be disappointed, because inexplicably she is not there. I KNOW. I mean, I don't MISS her, but come on -- that girl would be pouncing. She was pouncing before he was even single.
Carrie and Walt
I missed whether Dadshaw knows that the party they're going to is in New York City, but for a guy whose story every week has been "Carrie I'm super disappointed in your sketchy behavior," it seems strange that they're so blithely headed off to NYC. Anyhoo, they are Chuck and Di, and Carrie's costume is really pretty great, and watching her emote all hour in that wig is a delight. Dadshaw announces that he's going to hand out candy dressed as Chewbacca, as he always does, because "the costume was expensive." I can vouch for this. My husband bought a Chewy costume as part of ANOTHER costume he was doing (long story) and he's worn it to hand out candy every year since, because, and I quote, "the costume was expensive." At least this year he slapped some Mickey ears on it and went as Disney-owned Chewbacca, so it was timely.
Dorrit
Dorrit is not in costume, although Dadshaw is to be forgiven for thinking otherwise. She looks like Zombie Dorrit. This character is problematic so far. From week to week, she's a jerky rebel -- no, wait, she's softening. No, wait, she's disaffected again. No, wait, she has a hamster. No, hang on, she's undead. In this hour, Dadshaw confiscates her vandalism tools, so she watches Poltergeist. And then gets scared and he has to come watch it with her and we're supposed to think awwwwww except zzzzzzz. Dorrit is the part of the show where we take bathroom breaks (because we can't do it during commercials, because we have to man the remote, obviously).
Larissa
And Larissa is still the worst. In addition to her usual pretentious jabbering, she gets to puncture Carrie's Chuck-and-Di fantasy with news that Charles is allegedly in love with a Camilla Parker-Thwbbbbbt (she amusingly actually spits) -- this is the equivalent of having two characters playing Asteroids on an Atari and being all, "LIFE WILL NEVER BEAT THIS." Larissa is throwing what is allegedly a Big-Time Citified Coolest NYC Halloween Party Ever, complete with Ecstasy for all (Carrie subtly "loses" hers; Walt takes it because it didn't occur to him to "lose" it) except that the whole thing as staged feels really small and as if it's being held in someone's unfinished basement. It's tough for shows to pull off a huge blowout on a CW budget, I suspect.
Clockwork Orange
There is a dude there dressed as Malcolm McDowell from Clockwork Orange, and he turns out to be a writer for Interview whom Walt loves. Carrie wants to hook up with him, but surprise surprise, he is more interested in Walt. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Also, I think Larissa is psychic, in costume thirty years early as a Ru Paul's Drag Race contestant. I also feel like she would wear this even if it WEREN'T Halloween.
Mags
So, riddle me this: Mags and Mouse are invited to Sebastian's diner party earlier in the day, and neither one bothers to change? I mean, I get that Mags is pleased with her bra showing through her sweater, but you'd think Mouse would want to preserve the sanctity of her school blouses.
Carrie and Larissa
Needless to say, Carrie thinks she's romancing Clockwork Orange, but instead she has to babysit a super-high and drunk and overall jacked-up Larissa, who took LSD and thinks she's a bird. They actually did an act-out on whether Larissa was going to jump off the roof. It was terribly depressing because we knew she would not and yet I had hope. So Carrie strokes her hair and blah-blahs in voice-over about how she always takes care of everyone else. Is this really true? Mostly we've seen her lying to her father, accidentally blowing off her sister, and one car-washing montage. Her mother only died three months ago, per the pilot, right? I don't think the show has earned Carrie having ennui about always caring for others first, because she's actually done plenty of self-serving so far.
Walt and C.O.
Meanwhile, Clockwork Orange is babysitting High Walt, and this of course leads to a kiss. As predictable as it was, though, it was also nice. Walt's story is the one that I thought worked the best in this episode -- Carrie's didn't amount to much, and I think actually seeing him struggle with sexuality in a less forgiving time could turn out to be a compelling emotional core the show needs.
Walt
Walt, of course, agreed with me that the kiss was nice, which is precisely why he shoves Clockwork Orange away and screams that he's not GAY, he has a GIRLFRIEND. And C.O. is super understanding and encouraging about it, and there's talk of how everything in The City is more open and free, but a confused Walt hurls an anti-gay slur at C.O. and runs off into the night in a dizzy way that is MOST unbecoming of the heir to the throne of England.
Mouse
Mouse is STILL wearing this blouse and tie. She is like, "I FEAR NO SWEAT STAINS, MOTHERF***ERS."
Sebastian and Mouse
And she's insisting on not having fun at this party, but then Sebastian challenges her to Pac Man and she can't NOT take him up on it. This, naturally, leads to her smoking her first joint, which came out of his pocket. So Donna LaDonna SHOULD have been there macking on Sebastian so that Mouse and Mags could freak out, but instead of having him get the female attention you KNOW he would be getting/seeking in real life, they clearly wanted Sebastian to be sympathetic and that meant winning over Mouse, so he spent the entire night playing video games and then laughing at her while she freaked out about inhaling pot. Also, this party is in a DINER and it looks as "epic" as the NYC bash.
Maggie
The cops bust the party, and it's Maggie's sex pal, so she corners him in the bathroom to trade favors for a favor. But now that she's single he doesn't want to hook up, because he doesn't want it to mean anything (my words); she is stung and uses their liaison to blackmail him into not arresting any of the underage drinkers on the premises. This is the handy thing about sleeping with an older cop. Except, kids, don't sleep with older cops.
Carrie and Walt
Walt wandered aimlessly around the city, touching his lips. Then he saw two guys holding hands, who almost got gay-bashed by two hateful macho guys. Walt interrupted it and the victims got away, and then the bashers were all, "ARE YOU A FREAK TOOOOOO," and Walt gave a very deep and searching look into middle distance. And then was quietly released to go on his merry way, so he waited on the curb for Carrie to find him. Clockwork Orange didn't tell her what happened; just that Walt spazzed. She doesn't know what's bothering him but thinks it's the drugs, and hails them a cab.
Carrie
But seriously, the wig was cracking me up. Also, her little pea coat is cute. Lady Di would approve.
Sebastian
So, when Carrie gets home, she finds Mouse on her doorstep. Sebastian didn't want to bring her home -- they had compared lives: Sebastian, rich but ignored; Mouse, pressured to go to Harvard -- because he knew her parents would freak. I don't know why he thought Dadshaw would NOT freak. Dadshaw freaks at everything. Anyway, she thanks him, and things are less awkward. And then stoned Mouse is like, HE HAS A GREAT BUTT. Maybe THEY should go out.
Walt
And then Walt shows up at Maggie's, and she opens the door to him even though this facial expression suggests that he wants to suck on her spleen.
Walt and Mags
But no, he wants to nibble on something else. Since he's in denial about that, he chows down on his ex-girlfriend instead. Poor Walt. I hope this show ends with him screaming, "And from now on I want to be known only as STANFORD BLATCH."
Larissa
And Larissa takes off her makeup and comes down from her high, and realizes she is still the worst.
The Gang
And Carrie exchanges a smile with Sebastian at school after having been afraid of seeing him, and we're supposed to think that everyone is going to be fine, if by "everyone" you mean "everyone except Walt and eventually Maggie." How soon before the pregnancy scare?