Downton Hideous
What a wretched view. Just burn it all down. Who would want to look at this.
Downton Mail Call
Edith's got a letter from Bertie The Agent and she's all giddy and giggly about it and Lord G is like, "HAVE YOU A DATE???" and she's like, "no, Dad, don't be so embarrassing!!! OMG, he's just a friend!" A friend whom she plans to run to to London to see as soon as he gets there. Luckily, she has an excuse, because she needs to go up (down?) and interview a variety of potential editrix for her Terrifically Modern NewspaperMagazine. (Edith's story arc actually reminds me very much of some stuff that happens in No Angel, the Penny Vincenzi book I keep telling you all to read if you like books about people having romantic troubles in olden times.)
Downton Breakfast Reset
In which Lord G mentions that Henry "Matthew Goode" Talbot popped in while Mary was out and has invited her to come around and watch him race a car and also maybe one day make out with him (that last bit's implied). Branson agrees to go, as well -- for propriety, I assume, but also because he wants to -- and Lord G is like, "Well. EDITH CAN'T COME BECAUSE SHE HAS A DAAAAAATE!!!!" And Edith is like, "I DO NOT!!!" and Mary is (very snidely), "of course not." Now. As you know, I am on record as enjoying what a B Mary can be, but at the same time...hasn't the novelty of being a complete pain in the A to Edith worn off for her at least A LITTLE by now?
Downton Dirty Looks
That said, I truly think this shot will end up being the greatest Lady Mary Dirty Look in all History.
Downton Hospital Yada
Hospital updates: EVERYONE is on Team Big Hospital now, as Dr Clarkson has thought about it and switched sides. Violet is STEAMED and she's calling in reinforcements, in the person of one Future Prime Minister and Current Minister of Health, Neville Chamberlain, whom she's asked to dinner to try to rule in favor of her side, to Cora's great irritation.
Downton Neck Ties
Edith is ALL about neck bows/ties this week. Just FYI. I rather like this one. It's neatly toeing the line between the tie and the scarf. It's a...tscarf.
Downton Home-Cooking
Carson is, it might not surprise you, TOTALLY ANNOYING about his dinner at home, much the way he would be about his dinner at Downton. All, "it would be nice....IF THIS PLATE WEREN'T COLD," and "RATHER UNDERSEASONED THIS" and he's lucky Mrs Hughes hasn't stabbed him with a fork. (She got the dinner fixings from Mrs Patmore in the first place, and Mrs P is all huffy about being replaced yet again. Mrs P so reliably hates change. I love her [we love her so much, we named a tiny character after Lesley Nicol in The Royal We].) When Mrs Hughes reports back to Mrs Patmore and Daisy, they're all "OH MEN" about it, but, honestly, Carson. You needn't buttle so aggressively at home.
Downton Neck Ties 2
Somewhere, Brenda Walsh just felt a disturbance in the force.
Downton JEEZ There Are A Lot of Neckties in This
EVERYONE at Downton is wearing a necktie to breakfast this week.
Downton Vistas
Branson is sincerely the BEST HUMAN. He and Mary are out scouting for a place to put...something, I don't know. A mechanic's shop? Something. It's not important. This scene is really about Henry Talbot: Mary worries that he's not posh enough or appropriate enough for her, and she "won't marry down." (Matthew, after all, was the heir to Downton.) And Branson is basically like, "you're being an idiot," except SO KINDLY, telling her that a marriage must be between equals, but that money and position are not the only things that make people into equals. Like, for example, he and Sybil were equal in the passion they each had in their beliefs. Mary seems to buy this. At the last, she recognizes that Branson is wise in the ways of the human heart and might have something to teach her about said subject.
Downton Confrontation
I feel like there are a lot of confrontations in front of the post office if you're poor Dr Clarkson. People are always coming up to him in the village and yelling at him. Here, it is Denker, enraged with him because he's switched sides on the Question of the Hospital, calling this flip-flop "treason!" This proves to be a bad life choice for her, because Dr Clarkson is basically like WTF?!?!?! and dashes off an annoyed note to Violet about Denker's impertinence.
Downton Let-Down
So Baxter goes to testify against the Hot Svengali of York who swayed many women into stealing jewels for him -- Molesley kindly comes with her -- but when the accused sees the witness list, he changes his plea to guilty and she doesn't have to do it. Which is a nice way for us not to rehash this whole freaking Baxter subplot, but also -- for everyone, including her -- sort of anticlimactic. I would have bet money that The Sexy Mastermind was going to be escorted from the premises right past Baxter, so he could hiss something terrible and cutting. But no such luck. I mean, not that I WANT that for Baxter, who is very kind. But it would have been dramatically expected.
ADDITIONALLY, you need to see how FOXY Baxter is when she's out of costume.
Downton Dating
These two are a delight, gossiping about Bertie's cousin/boss (who is apparently lovely, and may or may not be having a rollicking time with a variety of handsome men in Tangiers, which is a spin-off I would totally watch). Edith then invites Bertie to go to dinner with her that very night, and he's delighted to get to spend more time with her, and her coat is swell.
Downton Lipstick
Michelle Dockery feels very Phyrne Fisher here. Anyway, she and Branson watch Henry Talbot race his car around -- Mary's like THIS IS SO DANGEROUS AND FAST I HATE IT; Branson points out that, after all, "it IS car racing," and if ANYONE would mention Matthew And Cars, you'd think it would be sensitive Branson, but no. He DOES, however, note to Mary that "real love gives someone the power to hurt you," and she ought to consider it. Not a SUPER appealing sales pitch, but Branson seems like an excellent person to have as an adviser on matters of the heart. He's also such a matchmaker.
Downton Sweaters
Anyway, Matthew Goode got to drive around A LOT in those silly motoring glasses, looking charming in this outfit with its many patterns, and after a lot of yada about cars, he invites Branson and Mary to the pub.
Downton Editrix
This is the young woman who I assume Edith will be hiring as Editrix, because they're the exact same age and manage to brainstorm a good story for the NewspaperMagazine before the tea even arrives. Also, they share of love of jaunty neckties.
Downton Cozy Farmers
So, let's just do this all in one. Mr Mason moves into Yew Tree Farm, but Mary is worried he's not strong enough to deal with the pigs. She comes over to ask about this while Daisy, Mrs Patmore (who LOVES MR MASON, it's obvious, and also great) and Footman Andy (who, I agree with you guys, is possibly sweet on Daisy and definitely sort of sweet in general) are helping settle him in. And when Mr Mason is kind of like, "uh," Andy pops in and notes that, actually, HE'S going to be the farmhand and they've got it all settled! Once Mary and Branson leave, Andy informs everyone that he really WOULD love to be a pig farmer and legit wants to help, so consider that sorted. I'm just glad Andy has something to do that's not all avoiding Thomas (which he tells Anna and Bates, earlier, is mostly just because he doesn't want to lead Thomas on). Andy seems like good people. I look forward to -- NO SPOILERS! -- him and Daisy getting married in a double wedding with Mr Mason and Mrs Patmore. SO MANY PEOPLE will be discovering the key to the universe, if I have my way.
Downton Charming
This was a very sweet scene with the kids, in particular the moment where Lord G told Sybie -- whose accent is, especially to this old American, ADORABLE -- all about the Sphinx, "a creature of secrets that she never reveals." ("Like Great-Grandmother Violet," Cora notes.) He and Cora also continue to blather about the hospital question, and how this is one argument that, at last, Violet is going to lose. Whether she likes it or not. AND SHE SHALL NOT.
Downton Denker
So, as I mentioned, Dr Clarkson has written to Violet to let her know that her lady's maid has taken to haranguing him in the village when he's just trying to mail some stuff, and Violet is enraged and essentially tells Denker to clear out the next day. FOREVER!
Downton Side-Eye
I just thought you would want to see this utterly magnificent side-eye from Isobel, which occurred when Violet, quite rightly, noted that if she stopped being friends with everyone who had spoken ill of her, her address book would be empty. Isobel offers that she's sure Dr Clarkson wouldn't want Denker to be fired, but Violet says that, in that case, he shouldn't have sent her this letter. "When you unleash the dogs of war, you must follow where they take you!" she yelps, and Isobel makes a "YIKES" face that made me laugh out loud. I shall miss these two terribly once this show ends.
Downton Servant Blackmail
And here's how the rest of this goes down. It played out much more amusingly than it sounds in the re-telling -- these two actors, to me, are VERY funny, although I'm not sure that the audience CARES so much about them, as we barrel toward the end of the road. Denker tells Spratt that, unless he convinces Violet to keep her onboard, she's going to tell Violet that Spratt allowed his nephew to hide out in her (Violet's) potting shed whilst he (the nephew) was on the run from the law, and they'll both be out of a job. So many pronouns in that story! Her (Denker's) blackmail works. And she doesn't even promise she won't do it again!
Downton Dreamy
So these three have popped down to the pub -- Mary notes she's hardly ever been to one -- and have a cheery chat about the car, and Henry Talbot and Branson, I think, have total man crushes on each other, which is sweet. Not that I can blame either one of them. They're both fine, fine, fine, foine men. In a variety of ways.
Downton Flipbook 1
Just to warn you, I downloaded enough photos of Matthew Goode drinking a beer that you could make a very short flipbook. Anyway, speaking of crushes, Henry tells Mary that our old friend Evelyn Napier is back in the picture and still in love with her (more or less), despite not having seen her, as far as we know, FOR YEARS. GET A GRIP, EVELYN. Mary notes that is one romance that is NEVER going to happen, but agrees to go to dinner with the two of them next time Mary is "down south," and Branson says, basically, "YOU GUYS. JUST ADMIT YOU WANT TO DATE EACH OTHER AND GET ON WITH IT. PLEASE MAKE OUT NOW, GOD." I told you he was the best. (Not that I needed to convince you. Everyone knows that.)
Downton Flipbook 2
A TOAST TO BRANSON.
Downton Flipbook 3
Told you I made you a flipbook. I could honestly do this all day. I'm going to start a Tumblr called Beers With Matthew Goode.
Downton Afterschool Special
This was also quite nice, actually. Thomas figures out that poor Andy never learned how to read -- which is going to cause him problems as a pig farmer -- and kindly and sincerely offers to teach him, and not tell anyone. Andy agrees, and apologizes for not having been nicer to Thomas. Thomas has been saying time and again that he just wants to be friends with Andy, and it's possibly true -- it's just hard to ever take Thomas at face value -- but regardless of whether he'd ALSO like to make out with him, offering to tutor him is a lovely gesture, and I'm very happy to see these two getting along.
Downton Headband
And we've arrived at the Promo Photos portion of this recap! Edith has seriously NEVER looked better than she does in this scene. It's very exciting. Anyway, she and Bertie are flirting all over her amazing flat, while she looks FANTASTIC in this headpiece and upper-arm bracelet. They're talking about their lives -- and where Edith wants to alight, in general -- and she tells Bertie that it's time for her "strike out in [her] own direction, not just dawdle in Mary's wake," which is, I think, a very good plan.
Downton Fabulous Flats
Bertie is so charming and so nice and so into her and that's all great but we also need to continue to talk about how blessedly glorious this apartment is. Why isn't this MY London apartment? Anyway, they next chat about how he's picked the perfect place for dinner, and he's like, "I knew we'd love the same things," and then....wait for it wait for it...
Downton KISSING
YAY! When this happened, I quite sincerely squeaked, "OH EDITH!" and clapped and sort of bounced up and down in my chair. I have never been more delighted to see two people kissing in a beautiful apartment. GOOD ON YOU EDITH.
Downton Blissful
LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS. It is honestly about time. Bertie tells her he thinks about her all the time when they're apart, and Edith is sort of like, "that's very sweet," but not in a dismissive way, and then tells him that he has "a great deal to offer," and she's not sure she's worthy of him. And then they go dancing. So I guess it WAS a date. JUST DON'T PUSH AWAY LOVE WITH BOTH HANDS WITH THAT "I MIGHT NOT BE WORTHY" THING, EDITH. I AM WARNING YOU.
Downton Dressing Gown
In which Lord G continues to talk about his indigestion and here is my question: WE KNOW he has an ulcer, from last season. WHY hasn't Cora insisted they have the doctor take a look? DR CLARKSON IS ONLY AT YOUR HOUSE ARGUING WITH YOU FIVE DAYS A WEEK ABOUT THE HOSPITAL AS IT IS.
Downton Commuting
In which I laugh at Mr Bates. Here, he and Anna are walking up to work, and she's filling him in on all the gossip about Lady Mary's love life -- a conversation that feels very sweet and natural -- and Bates confesses that he's never been this happy in his entire life, what with the baby on the way. "Bad harvest bad harvest," Anna says, and neither Bates nor I know what she's doing. It is, she explains, basically the "knock on wood" of the farmers; when harvest was good, they'd all cry, "bad harvest" so that the gods would not be tempted to disrupt their good fortune. And Bates just bellows, "BAD HARVEST," and it was actually quite funny and sweet and HOW STRANGE AND NICE it is to like Bates again.
Downton Edith
I have to apologize to Laura Carmichael for this terrible screengrab. (I'm SURE she's reading this, right?) I just wanted you to see her lovely dress on this evening, before this dinner goes REALLY REALLY wrong. Everyone, in fact, has never looked better.
Downton Lame
Look at Cora's golden dress and tiara! Fabulous! Anyway, as you can imagine, dinner is just FULL of arguing about the hospital between Violet and Cora and Clarkson and Isobel, and it's just as you would expect, AKA, TIRESOME AND AWKWARD and everyone else is like "this is brutal," especially Neville Chamberlain, who, as we all knows, prefers to appease rather than fight.
Downton ACK!!!!!!!!
And then this happened and it was AWFUL and I am glad I didn't get any more of the bloodier bits screengrabbed because, honestly, it was sort of hard for me to watch. Not because it was gross, but because it was VERY UPSETTING TO ME. Lord G says he's not feeling well, and he stands up, and I really thought he might drop dead right into the table, but instead he VIOLENTLY VOMITS BLOOD EVERYWHERE. It is AWFUL. Thank God Dr Clarkson and Isobel were there to know what to do. Clarkson tells us that Lord G's ulcer has burst, which sounds awful, and they have to call for an ambulance. I must confess I was rather beside myself when this happened. I am very attached to Lord G, even if he IS prone to losing priceless books and investing in Ponzi schemes.
Downton Horror
Obviously, everyone is DISTRESSED, including me. This is FOR SURE the worst dinner party Downton has ever hosted and that is a VERY HIGH BAR. While they're waiting for the ambulance, blood is just pouring out of poor Robert's mouth and he's got his head in Cora's lap and he tells her, "if this is the end, just know that I loved you very, very much," and, YES, I totally cried. She assures him it's NOT the end, but I wish she could have returned the sentiment. You're the American, Cora. GET EMOTIONAL. I AM.
Downton Coats
The one note I will make about this portion of this episode -- which I thought was EXCELLENT, and please know that the downstairs folks are as worried about Lord G as the rest of us are -- is that there are some sort of weird, horned-in, practical convos about other plot lines, had between a variety of people while they're waiting for the ambulance to load up Robert. In reality, I think people would have dropped those trains of thought. That said, look at these coats! FANTASTIC. Here, Violet and Cora continue to bicker and Cora makes a hurt off-hand comment about secrets Violet may have kept about Marigold, and Mary TOTALLY OVERHEARS IT. (That part I actually thought was good; I did think it was sort of weird that Chamberlain was like, "well, your husband might be dying. Must dash! Let's DO think about the hospital," to which Cora was like, "NO. THIS IS OVER. VIOLET HAS LOST," although not in so many words.)
Downton Prime Ministers
In which Neville Chamberlain tells us that Violet basically blackmailed him into coming to dinner in the first place. He was part of a giant and irritating prank back in the day, and if it were to get out now, it would torpedo his political chances. I just wanted to note that he's wearing a cape. (I will also note that this actor is very good casting.) Ask him how he feels about Hitler, Branson. YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW. What I don't know is why Branson gives a damn about the province of Chamberlain's invite right now, other than that Julian Fellowes really wanted to work in all those bits about Horace de Vere Cole, which are interesting and true EXCEPT WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT LORD G HERE. Now is not the time to show off your knowledge of obscure toffs!
Downton Sisters
Good news: They think Robert shall live. The hospital had to perform a gastrectomy -- in which the stomach is removed -- though, and that's no easy thing. Mary and Edith are obviously exhausted and thoughtful and sad, but no more emotionally supportive of one another than usual, really. Edith goes to check on the children, and Mary tells Branson that they have to take the full responsibility of the estate now. "So long live our own Queen Mary," Branson says. Indeed.
Downton Plotting
And Queen Mary is having ALL kinds of feelings about this Marigold thing. She tries to get Anna to spill any beans, but Anna is GOOD. She both doesn't spill and she very clearly behaves as it there's nothing TO spill. (Anna DOES know, right? At the moment I can't remember.) My unspoiled feeling is that if Mary decides she's pissed about no one telling her about Marigold -- which would be fair -- and decides to ruin Edith's life (which would NOT be fair) by telling Bertie about Marigold, I will be VERY CROSS WITH HER INDEED.