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# Fug the Show: Downton Abbey recap, season 4, episode 7
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-downton-abbey-season-4-episode-6/
- Published: 2014-02-14T20:00:12.000Z
- Updated: 2014-02-17T03:27:38.000Z
- Author: Jessica  
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:37

## Downton Breakfast Gossip

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5343.xml)

So, Lord G is running off to America to help Cora's brother, who has somehow gotten himself embroiled in the [Teapot Dome scandal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teapot%5FDome%5Fscandal?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io). Neither Lord G nor I understand why HE can help -- presumably an in-law with an English accent will make Cora's brother seem less of a hot mess. Not when they find out he's a man who can't even keep track of a Gutenberg Bible, for pete's sake.

## Downton Breakfast Gossip 2

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5345.xml)

So, when Bates found out that Lord G was off to America, he dashed into Mrs Hughes's Confessional Den of Secrets and was like, "I obviously cannot leave Anna right now, given that I am in the middle of making her rape all about ME. Also, she needs me or whatever." And so Mrs Hughes goes up to see Mary and tries to get HER to intervene to keep Bates at Downton For Anna, but she ends up having to tell Mary the truth to get her to do it. This really is a very poorly kept secret -- but Mary's right that she can't just tell her Father to leave Bates at home for literally no reason at all. Personally, I can't wait until this whole thing culminates in a scenario where Gilingham's Valet has been flung down the well and there are like seventy different suspects and this whole show turns into an Agatha Christie novel and then M. Poirot shows up and falls in love with Mrs Patmore.

## Downton Sobbing

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5346.xml)

Anna basically tells Bates that risking his job to stay home and watch her mope around is NOT HELPING and then she cries in the hallway. I think Bates's heart is in the right place here, but he really is making this whole thing all about stuff HE should do or should have done or wants to do and it's rather tiresome. Anna seems to want you to go on as normal, so why don't you try to do what the actual victim has asked you to do?

## Downton Finagling

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5347.xml)

Mary tells Lord G that he should take Thomas to the States instead -- Lord G points out that he can't very well go to America without a valet, given that "Americans have a correct uniform for practically every activity known to man," LIKE THE EARLY 20TH CENTURY BRITISH ARISTOCRATS DON'T? I MEAN COME ON -- and she points out that Thomas will LOVE it, all those handsome stewards trotting about the boat. (I love the idea that Mary is secretly really into Thomas finding some hottie to nail on the ship.) And Lord G is NOT scandalized by the idea that Thomas will be cruising on the cruise, but he does ask Mary what she could possibly know about such things, and she is all, "I've been married. I know everything." ALSO A DUDE DIED IN HER BED IN FLAGRANTE, so I think she's on top of things. No pun intended.

ANYWAY, Mary is like, "look, I can't get into it, but trust me," and Lord G does agree to take Thomas, and we begin this whole He Knows She Knows I Know She Knows thing about Anna's rape where slowly everyone is either finding out or figuring out what went down -- even Lord G surely knows that SOMETHING weird is up. After Lord G goes bustling out of the room, Mary and Bates have a discussion where he once again blames himself and she points out that it's NO ONE'S FAULT other than The Mystery Assailant. I would like to just say that there are an awful lot of people in this house who now believe that some random rapist wandered in and lay wait in the kitchen and who don't seem to be THAT concerned about it. If you think some potentially serial rapist is on the loose and you live in a large estate with a lot of women doing things all by themselves at all hours of the night in a house where a stranger allegedly committed a heinous crime, shouldn't you at least be a little concerned that he's still on the loose? And that apparently ANYONE can get inside?

## Downton Neckerchiefs

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5350.xml)

The DG has popped by to wish her son a bon voyage and sport this sassy kerchief and to cough all over the place and descend into a sickness that grips us all with fear. IF YOU KILL OFF THE DOWAGER COUNTESS, JULIAN FELLOWES, IT IS YOU WHO SHALL FIND YOURSELF DOWN THE WELL.

## Downton Poor Edith

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5352.xml)

Don't worry, these people are just discussing the fascinating plotline that is Downton Gets Pigs. I enjoy that pregnant Scarlet Lady Edith is, of course, IN scarlet. They might as well just stick a big old A on her. Speaking of Edith's myriad life problems, we learn that Gregson's firm has sent a private detective after him and he's simply vanished. He checked into his hotel and was never heard from again. I hope one of these nice men will marry her now that she's in Trouble, and then of course Gregson will RETURN and it will be SO ANGST-Y. Oooh, I can't wait. I know some of you think Tom will be the one to marry her -- to keep him in the family and in England -- but that seems too incestuous and really too scandalous to me. I think Evelyn Napier or someone is going to step up and do it. And then Evelyn will be in love with Mary but married to Edith and Edith will be married to Evelyn but in love with Gregson, and Gregson will still be a Nazi OR a British spy, but either way, he'll still be married to Mrs Rochester up in the attic.

## Downton Rose

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5354.xml)

I love this navy dress on Rose, who basically is about to get into terrible social trouble, and, I must say, Cora is keeping an insufficient eye on her. You really should not be letting your flighty niece gallivant all over London before she's even been presented! Robert has put her "in charge of fun," which is a very sweet thing to say but like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Even I know that and I merely read a lot of books about people making bad choices in this time period.

## Downton Packing

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5356.xml)

So, after Mrs Hughes has a snippy "Bates can't go to America because of REASONS" convo with Carson -- who hates not being in the know -- it finally IS decided that Thomas shall go with Lord G. And Hateful Jimmy is, of course, terrifically jealous. He's BORED and there's no one suitable for him to try to fingerbang in the yard.

## Downton Kissing

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5358.xml)

Cora is really all atwitter that Lord G is off to rescue her brother from certain senatorial disaster, and it truly is rather gallant of him. I love it when this show reminds us that they still love each other. So, Lord G kisses the two women he loves best. Cora, and...

## Downton Petting

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5360.xml)

...the dog, and then he and Thomas are off. Thomas, of course, has another Vague And Threatening Convo with Baxter in which he tells her that she BETTER find out why Bates isn't coming along on this trip and she clearly just wants to tell him that she hopes he falls off the boat and drowns, but doesn't. Molesley overhears the whole thing and I suspect this season is going to prove that Molesley is not as dumb as he acts.

## Downton Sparring

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5362.xml)

First of all, this tunic is lovely on Mary and we truly are living in A Time Before Underwire here. Basically, Mr Blake is teaching Mary how to NOT run Downton into the ground, which is something I myself learned all about in [Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey: The Lost Legacy of Highclere Castle](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0770435629/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0770435629&linkCode=as2&tag=gofugyou03-20&ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io), which is about, well, just what the title says, and which is very juicy and entertaining and an illuminating look at how INSANELY EXPENSIVE these sort of country houses are to run, while still being historically significant. (Of course, Highclere makes plenty of money as a location nowadays.) ANYWAY, these two are obviously going to get it on and Evelyn Napier is NOT going to like it.

## Downton Glorious Countryside

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5366.xml)

Tom is off to see "the new pig man" -- the glamour never ends at Downton! -- and he and Isobel have a heart-to-heart in which she expresses concern that he doesn't have a life now, and then invites him to go with her to listen to a Liberal MP speak in Rippon. I just love Isobel, that nosy capable darling. All you need to know this week is, Isobel gets stuck nursing Lady G through her thank-god-not-fatal bronchitis and Tom goes to the lecture himself and meets a Sassy Middle Class Girl who looks like of like Crazy Braithewaite, and, seriously, how long is this Tom Looks For A Place He Can Feel That He Truly Belongs plotline going to go on? It's actually totally realistic that he would be feeling like this, but the issue is that it is also BORING. Anyway, just look at this totally hideous landscape and this terribly framed shot of total verdant ugliness until you feel better.

## Downton Poor Edith

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5367.xml)

Whoops, I totally overexposed this shot when I was lightening it so you could see it at all; sorry about that. ANYWAY, Edith wants to go up to London to get an abortion, but she doesn't tell Cora this, obviously. Instead, she asks Cora if Cora thinks she's "bad" and Cora doesn't say, "OF COURSE NOT, why would you say that?" Cora says, "you can be a bit sharped tongued now and then," which is NOT NICE when your sad middle child HAS LOST ANOTHER SUITOR UNDER TERRIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES. And then Edith is like, "sometimes I have bad feelings" -- read, "I really wanted to have sex with someone even though I was not married to him" -- and Cora tells her that everyone has bad feeligs. It's just important that you don't ACT on those feelings. And Edith makes a face that should make Cora VERY SUSPICIOUS but somehow doesn't.

## Downton SNORE

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5368.xml)

God, I am SO OVER this Ivy/Daisy/Alfred love triangle. The show treats it like it's Dawson/Pacey/Joey, when really I simply cannot imagine that anyone watching the show has feelings about it one way or the other beyond wanting Daisy to shut UP about it all. DAISY. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. IT'S NOT ANYONE'S FAULT. IVY DECIDING THAT SHE MIGHT LIKE ALFRED NOW LITERALLY CHANGES LESS THAN NOTHING IN YOUR LIFE. GO STIR SOMETHING AND STOP BEING SUCH A PILL ABOUT IT.

Anyway, there's all this yada about Alfred coming for a visit, and truly all you need to know is that this plotline is still treading water, and Daisy is really annoying me. I've NEVER particularly liked her and none of this is helping that problem.

## Downton Folly

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5372.xml)

There is something quite apt about having Evelyn Napier standing in front of the Downton [folly](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folly?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io) looking after Lady Mary, having just confessed that he's "blind where \[she's\] concerned," given that loving her probably IS a folly for him. It's poetic.

## Downton Phoning

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5373.xml)

In which Edith uses the euphemism "get my hair done" when telling Cora she was just on the phone with THE ABORTION DESK. (That's a reference to a famous *Dynasty* episode, wherein Fallon is off getting an abortion -- or so her husband Jeff thinks -- and someone asks where she is, totally innocently, and he roars, "she's at the hospital. CALL THE ABORTION DESK." Like that's a thing.) POOR EDITH. At least her dress is pretty.

## Downton Awkward

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5375.xml)

In which everyone downstairs has totally personal conversations that literally everyone else ought to be able to hear, in the manner of a soap opera where villains monologue their plots right outside the location where they plan to carry them out. In short: Anna feels guilty Bates hasn't gotten to go to America, and Molesley is totally onto Baxter. Maybe Baxter and Molesley shall fall into improbable love! (Probably not.)

## Downton Honesty

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5381.xml)

This is a very good scene. Mary reports to Anna that Mr Blake thinks she's aloof. "I'm not aloof, am I?" she asks. "Do you want me to answer truthfully, or as a ladies' maid?" Anna asks, and Mary laughs. But it winds around to a discussion where Mary is very concerned about Anna and really wants to help, and Anna kind of shuts her down. Mary actually MIGHT shoot Gillingham when she finds out the truth, which she surely will.

## Downton Blocking

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5385.xml)

Mary and Cora get a call from Isobel -- who is nursing the hell out of the Dowager Countess, because she feels that she owes a debt to the Downtownites (and she loves to nurse people) (and now she'll have something to hold over the DC) (and she's nice and very competent as a human) -- that the DC is sick, and look very concerned in yet another beautifully composed shot.

## Downton Hats

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5387.xml)

Hats! The Dowager Countess is, of course, very cranky in her fever and complaining about everything -- the food, how ENDLESSLY CHATTY her nurse (Isobel) is ("She's like a drunken vicar") and so on. Maggie Smith is a delight even when she's on her NOT DEATH bed.

## Downton More Hats

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5392.xml)

So many glorious little hats in this episode! Rose of course hares off to meet Jack Ross (secretly), and Rosamund takes the opportunity to harass Edith about what is WRONG with her. She's noticed far more about Edith's mental state than Cora has, that's for sure.

## Downton Confessional

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5394.xml)

And so they storm into Rosamund's GLORIOUS drawing room and the whole story comes pouring out of poor Edith, and they have this very wrenching conversation where Rosamund is clearly torn up about this but also quite supportive, and Edith points out that she will be cast from polite society if she has a baby out of wedlock. And Rosamund is like, "what if you have this abortion and Gregson pops back in?" which is frankly INSANITY because, as Edith points out, OF COURSE she's not going to tell him if that happens, and also if she DOES, she can also say, "listen, ASSHAT, you DISAPPEARED on me." Edith points out that this is a terrible thing for her to have to go through -- she wants the baby and she loves Gregson, but this is the only solution she can think of given that he has DISAPPEARED FOREVER POSSIBLY. And Rosamund finally is like, "well, I'm OBVIOUSLY going with you."

## Downton Kissing

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5400.xml)

Let's just admit a few things: (a) He's very handsome, (b) he is like, "DUDE. You are INSANE if you think this is ever going to WORK OUT with us. What is YOUR PROBLEM?" (c) Rose's answer to this is to quote the French, all *"viva la difference!"* which is ASTOUNDINGLY naive in a way I find rather irritating, (d) his suit and her frock are fabulous, (e) his accent suddenly makes him sound about 150% tougher than he did last week, although slightly more American, and, finally, (e) this is going to end really poorly for both of them. And that's not OKAY -- of course, people should be able to make out with people they find hot regardless of the race of the hot people in question -- but in 1922 it is unfortunately true and I actually think this would be a much more affecting and interesting plotline if Rose ACKNOWLEDGED that Their Love Is Forbidden By A Racist Society rather than just acted like it was NBD.

## Downton Evening Gloves

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5402.xml)

"How could two brainless dullards like us ever hope to entertain Mr. Blake?" Mary wonders. Well, the answer is that one of them -- Mary -- will do it with a mud fight after a night saving her wretched pigs from dying of dehydration, because it turns out that Mr Blake -- whom I actually rather like -- is also an expert on livestock as well as whatever the hell kind of governmental math he's up to. Furthermore, I believe that he, like every other man on this show, is falling in love with Mary. Men on period dramas cannot resist a beautiful, high-spirited woman who is kind of mean to them.

## Downton Mud Wrestling

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5414.xml)

How can you not love this face? I mean that sincerely. One of my favorite things about this show is that I think it's bold to make the heroine frankly unlikeable sometimes. And I know that certain factions who watch this show dislike Mary and want to see her brought low. But I love her. I think her reasons for grumpiness and difficult behavior are interesting and believable and there's a long history of difficult women making interesting heroines. Anyway, I like Mary, even though she's kind of a bitch sometimes -- maybe I like her because I am also kind of a bitch sometimes - and I want her to be happy. I also think she needs to hire a new pig man, because this one almost killed all of her investment, and i also also think she and Mr Blake will surely be making out soon, because one doesn't save a bunch of pigs with a man, throw mud in his face, and ruin a dress if you're probably not going to kiss him eventually.

## Downton Breakfast

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5418.xml)

Turns out Mary can make scrambled eggs! And so they eat -- friends at last -- until Ivy comes down to start work for the morning. Mary really should be thinking, "they left the front door open for us all night, on the direction of Mrs Hughes, who knows better than i do that there are so many girls are working here, alone in the dark, all hours of the night, and there's A RAPIST ON THE LOOSE WHO ALREADY SNUCK IN ONCE. Maybe I should do something about this, OR, maybe none of that adds up."

## Downton Abortion Desk

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5420.xml)

Well. What do you expect from an abortion desk Edith read about in a magazine at King's Cross? My thought on that is this: SURELY there are posher and more discreet Abortion Desks in London in 1922 if you have the money to pay for them -- in fact, if I've learned anything from years of reading books about People Having Romantical Problems in Olden Times, it's that there are. And I cannot believe that Rosamund doesn't know some kind of glamorous but sexually well-traveled high-born woman who, like, wears a lot of lipstick and carries a cigarette holder and who is altogether fabulous who couldn't quietly arrange such a thing. I just don't. Edith of course doesn't go through with it because this is TV. Poor Edith. (I mean, regardless of whether she went through with it or not, Poor Edith.)

## Downton Dude Harem

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5423.xml)

In which we learn Tony Gillingham and his Awful Valet are coming to stay, and Mr Blake knows Gillingham from the war, and I think that Blake is going to help Mary put the pieces together about Gillingham's Valet. Blake seems to like Gillingham just fine, and we know Gillingham isn't wild about The Valet to begin with, but my prediction is that Blake is going to prove know something about him. And then he and Mary can talk about that and not the fact that we're all dying for her to get out of her purple mourning stage and into something sassier.

## Downton Spangly

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5430.xml)

This cocktail dress on Mary is AMAZING. Gillingham is all, "I miss you," and Mary is like, "YES, HOW'S THE FIANCEE?"

## Downton Golden Girls

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5432.xml)

All that's missing is the cheesecake. And the lanai.

These two are the best. They're both thinking they're keeping the other company, but I think the truth is that they're slowly becoming besties and I love it. I can't wait for the DC to tell Isobel to marry Dr Clarkson.

## Downton Faces of Murder

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/downton-faces-of-murder.xml)

So, more interestingly, the return of Gillingham's Awful Valet prompts these MANY FACES OF MURDER, as Mrs Hughes fairly FROTHS with rage at the sight of him, which is obviously very satisfying. She eventually beards The Valet in the boot room and reads him the riot act and literally threatens his life, which is divine, and he is all "well, we both got really drunk and we're both to blame" and Mrs Hughes will hear NONE OF IT and when he thanks her for not telling Bates it was him, and she nearly beans him with a crowbar. I can't wait until she tries to poison him or something.

There is likewise a moment at the servant's dinner where both Baxter (who, as you know, overheard Cora talking about how someone hurt Anna) and Bates seem to figure out that The Valet is No Good. Bates DEFINITELY has figured out that he's the rapist -- nothing says I WANT TO MURDER like the look on his face -- and I think Baxter has, too. And if she tells Thomas, I am pretty sure that Thomas will also WANT TO MURDER. The Sociopathic Valet would be well suited to stay far away from Downton. I fear a terrible accident might be about to befall him there. And wouldn't that just be SUCH A SHAME?

[Fug the Show: Downton Abbey recap, season 4, episode 7All you need to know is that there's a slide here where the photo is named DOWNTON MURDER FACES. We've got many a questionable life choice being made, in other words, but also some nascent romantical sparks, tragedy ahoy for Poor Edith, whose name I might as well just start shortening to PE, and some really, really, REALLY annoying kitchen maids. Can someone frame Daisy for the Upcoming Valet Murder that I'm predicting? Finally, thank you very much for your patience in waiting for this while we've been at Fashion Week. This upcoming Sunday's recap will not be so tardy, I promise! A NOTE ABOUT SPOILERS: I know you lovely people who live in the UK (and you lovely people who have been watching by less than legal means) have already seen this season. I trust that you will continue to be lovely and considerate and you will not spoil those of us here in the US as to what we have in front of us. Please keep the comments spoiler-free. We all sincerely, sincerely, really appreciate it. Thank you! (It goes without saying, I hope, that if you have NOT caught up through season three, then this will have spoilers for seasons one through three.) And now…to FACES OF MURDER![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/img_5343.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-downton-abbey-season-4-episode-6-02-2014/)