> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fug the Show: Empire recap, season 2, episode 8 - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-empire-recap-season-2-episode-8/ - Published: 2015-11-20T15:30:09.000Z - Updated: 2015-11-20T02:02:00.000Z - Author: Heather - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:44 ## Dizzy Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-1.png) I need to go on the record as saying this set makes me queasy. It's like walking inside a vegetable steamer. I love Gabourey's colorful dress, though. ## MIcrophone Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-2.png) I also need to procure myself a gold-plated spiked microphone. My performance of various songs from "Hamilton" will be so much more moving if I have that thing with me. Someone buy one for Lin-Manuel. ## Gatz Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-3.png) So, Freda Gatz opens the show with a rap about how Hakeem is just Daddy's Little Girl, and how she is the son Lucious has always wanted. I get that Lucious has a beef with Hakeem, or so he imagines, but he DOES have two other sons who could take issue with that statement and yet strangely don't seem to mind. ## Pool Table Booty Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-4.png) Hakeem finds out about this while in the middle of laying down Laura on his table of sex billiards. She has JUST told him that she's a virgin so he shouldn't judge her if their first time isn't great. He's like, "WHAT?" Which I assume is because he's either flabbergasted that she was okay with losing her virginity on a piece of furniture, or relieved she told him so he can put down a protective tarp. Hakeem, though, wants to "do this right" and offers to take it slow. So, right as he's fellating her belly button, his computer lights up and he watches Freda take him down. So he's mad, and challenges her to a RAP BATTLE. As you do. ## Mimi Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-18.png) Wake me up when this gets disastrous. Basically, the streaming service deal isn't done just yet and Mimi wants to rush it through because of Life Issues, which you can tell are serious because she is clearly wearing someone else's suit. Lucious is being a total egomaniac about everything and refusing to listen to anyone's advice; they hurriedly make the deal and Lucious makes a comment that I interpret as: It's financially risky but he doesn't care because everything he touches turns to gold and so he'll own the world in six months. I dearly hope someone serves him those words on a plate and makes him eat up. ## Soda Wars Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-6.png) Pepsi is ALL OVER this episode. There's a contest to be the artist they promote, or something, and Jamal is working on his song with Cookie instead of Lucious. And you need to appreciate the back of Cookie's shirt here. You can't tell but those two bits hanging there are open, as if they are sleeves. Here is the front: ## Lipstick Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-7.png) So it's like she has sleeves growing out of her armpits that she threw back over her shoulders. Amazing. And yet she also looks fantastic. SERIOUSLY fantastic. ## Sandwich Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-10.png) However: At a later session, Lucious shows up and Cookie -- who was making herself food -- has to go hide in a closet. She brings the sandwich with her, and tries to scarf it quietly while eavesdropping. Cookie and I are SOULMATES. You do not just leave a perfectly good sandwich untouched. NO CARB LEFT BEHIND. ## Sad Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-8.png) Anika is depressed. She is standing around in a bra, panties, and a robe, weeping into the mirror... ## empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-9 ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-9.png) ... and holding a KNIFE. And you're meant to think she's going to KILL SOMETHING or SOMEONE, possibly herself. But no, she just uses it to rip open a box of pregnancy tests, because if this show can choose between the Nonsense Option and the Actual Thing Real Humans Would Do, it will go with Door No. 1 every time. ## Rhonda Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-12.png) Rhonda then gets her one tiny scene of the week: She runs into a visibly upset Anika, whose test turned up positive, and offers to keep her company. Talk turns to how babies are Lucious's kryptonite, and he often stops by Rhonda's house now just to talk. That is lies. There is no way. Even the argument that he does it off-camera, I just... no. But Anika hears this and is heartened that being pregnant might give her an instant way back in, or at least people who care about her. Because Anika is very, very sad. ## Boots Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-13.png) Of course Cookie is wearing those shoes with a shirt-dress. She isn't thrilled that Hakeem is doing a rap battle, but he busts her on working with Jamal and threatens to tell Lucious. Cookie shuts that down immediately, but gets the point that Hakeem's feelings are hurt. There is also a bit earlier where Hakeem is being lippy with her and Adam Rodriguez ends up shoving him, and Cookie is like, "Hang on," and SMACKS Adam across the face, all, "Do not touch my son," before turning around and getting her fingernail right up Hakeem's nose. She is BY FAR the most lively person on TV right now. ## Seduction Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-14.png) Anika heads over to Hakeem's to get all sultry -- realizing quickly that drinking is a mistake given that she's there to tell him that she's incubating their baby. He weakly fends her off as she climbs astride him and he says things like, "Can we talk without touching?" Hakeem, GET UP THEN, if you don't want her on top of you. Sheesh. But no, Anika has to do alllll the work. He tells her that he's in love with Laura now but hopes they can still be friends. Anika is like, "RIGHT. Right. WHATEVER." ## Cookie Empire ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-15.png) Jamal calls both his parents to his studio, announces he wants to merge their songs and work with BOTH of them, and tries to bridge the gap. They are jerks about it, obviously. But what cracks me up is that the second she walked in wearing flip-flops, I was like, "WHAT? No. Cookie Lyon WOULD NEVER." And sure enough, she made reference to having been at a spa. This show has problems, but that is a great little casual detail to add to a scene. ## empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-16 ![empire recap season two epsiode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-16.png) "You put those shoes in my face one more time," Lucious says as she jabs her stilettos at him. It's great. It was on her way out of a scene, to the point where I wonder if he improvised it. Anyway: The Lyons sires make a bet. If Hakeem wins the rap battle, Cookie gets to put out Jamal's album through Lyon Dynasty. If Freda wins, Lucious gets Hakeem's. Because I'm sure that's how it works, especially when you have shareholders. ## Hot Sauce Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-17.png) This is a public service announcement: I BELIEVE Hakeem is shaking hot sauce into a bag of We're Not Allowed To Call Them Fritos But They're Totally Fritos. I don't like spicy things, but this seemed like a snack idea people should know about if they didn't already. You're welcome. Never let it be said that I don't make my priorities clear. ## Bangs Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-19.png) These bangs are way better than some of her other ones, although I still prefer Taraji without. I LOVE that colorful outfit, though. It was smart styling, especially because they're in a very antiseptic white setting and so she pops, which I feel like is Cookie's ultimate aim in any scenario. ## Coat Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-20.png) The dress also has a matching... what, sleeveless coat? Love it. Obviously, both parents hear Jamal's mash-up of their songs and they love it (I do not; I haven't liked anything Jamal has done all season, in fact, which is sad). Jamal tells them to suck it up and deal, essentially, especially because the song wins him the Pepsi gig. Because seriously, NOTHING goes wrong for Jamal. Ever. I LOVE Jamal, but nobody ever dislikes his songs. He has had the EASIEST road EVER for an artist who could be accused of nepotism and who came out as gay. I don't WISH bad things upon him, but it's boring watching someone get handed everything. Jamal's struggle made him layered. I mean, he even broke up with Michael again -- I assume, although he appears and disappears willy-nilly on this show -- and has had no ill-effects. Nothing bothers him anymore and nothing adverse happens to him. ## Battle Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-recap-season-2-episode-8-battle.png) The rap battle begins, and what you sadly can't see i this grab is that the black stage has a giant white target on it as if it's sponsored BY Target. Which cracks me up. I LOVE the idea of Target getting behind this thing, and everyone leaving with a new Michael Graves toilet brush. I would like to know how they set up the rules. This was only two rounds, for example. Who decided it was over? Billy Zane? Also, during Hakeem's second-round rap, he starts doing a call-and-response with the audience, except that they'd never heard the lyrics before -- he's rapping NEW things, and they're all rapping perfectly metered and EQUALLY new things back at him. Did he stack the deck? Jamal told him to be a performer, not just an MC. Maybe he wrote some stuff and ... but that's insane. Also nobody was reading off anything. There was an interesting bit earlier with him and Freda rehearsing, though, where people just threw topics at them and they had to riff. I love that I'm this interested in PROCESS. I think it's why Hamilton is so fascinating to me. Having an entire song about how duels work? Right up my street. ## Flashback Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-21.png) And then Hakeem finishes his battle by picking up a mic stand, or something, and bashing the "LYON" out of his name and announcing he's just HAKEEM from now on. This makes Lucious flash back to sleeping on the street as a kid, underneath the statue of a lion, which brought him peace. But then he sort of swallows any feelings he has about any of this, so it's hard to know where it's all going. ## WTF Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-25-cookie-jumpsuit-1024x576.jpg) And AS USUAL, Cookie tempers some triumphant fashion with something BANANAS. She comes storming out of the club in a TRANSPARENT LACE JUMPSUIT, like we're in a Whitesnake video. ## Vivica Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-vivica-recap.png) Cookie's exit is because her sister, Vivica A. Fox, is here. And THANK GOD, because Vivica gives good one-liner. "Seventeen years in prison just taught you to dress like a monkey and talk like a pimp," she says to Cookie, who doesn't even have a great retort, although she does dig at the relative expensiveness of Vivica's cheap shoes, vis a vis her incredibly rich white husband. Cookie, she who is in a glass hose made of black stretch lace cannot throw stones. Candace also uses Cookie's real name: Loretha. So that mom named her kids Candace, Loretha, and Carol. I love how banal "Carol" seems in relation to those two (not that Candace is so exotic). Anyway, Carol -- who is Tasha Smith, and this explains why the previously-on showed them getting their cousin's head in a box --has apparently dumped her kids at Vivica's and run, squawking something about their dead beheaded cousin. I don't know that I buy this sudden addition of an older sister, but whatever. It results in them running off to Philly, and I will sign up for Taraji and Vivica together any day of the week. ## Virginal Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-26.png) These two kiss and agree that they'll have sex sometime eventually. ## Crazy Empire ![empire recap season two episode 8](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-27.png) And then Laura gets into Hakeem's car to go home, and BOOM, Boo Boo Kitty is driving it in a fake blond wig. I am not sure how driving Laura off a cliff is going to solve Anika's problems. I guess it clears her path to Hakeem, but since he isn't interested in her unless he's concussed or vengeful, this seems like a doubly bad decision. Poor Anika. I will be sad if the show really couldn't figure out a way to make Grace Gealey fit in. [Fug the Show: Empire recap, season 2, episode 8This is as much time as network TV has ever devoted to a rap battle, and it's one of the most watchable scenes of the season, even if I have no idea how half of it even worked (like how the crowd knew what to say when Hakeem held out the mic to them; did he pass out lyrics sheets?).![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2015/11/empire-season-2-episode-8-recap-1.png)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-empire-recap-season-2-episode-8-11-2015/)