Nicole Kidman
So, the whole time I was watching this segment, I repeated about a hundred times, "But no, for real, WHAT IS KIDMAN WEARING." Further, as evidenced by the fact that unless you watched this you wouldn't have KNOWN if she was wincing or smiling, things have not gone as planned for Nicole vis a vis... whatever she is or is not allegedly maybe considering perhaps putting in or near her face. It is a shame. Maybe that's why she's wearing the magic carpet coat over Groundskeeper Willie's holiday finest: She doesn't want us to look anywhere else.
Kidman and Oldman
The cropped tight green pants made it weirder, as did how strange her hair looked. Gary Oldman was actually talking to her, though the still gives off the aura that he's gazing at her with anthropological fascination. But full marks to Nic for being game -- she was actually really funny in her bit, which included what appeared to be a totally spontaneous lap dance...
Nicole Kidman
... brought on by the fact that Robin Williams had done this to bound-and-gagged Jimmy earlier. It was actually completely entertaining and even Nicole seemed sort of surprised that she did it, and gave this little, "Eh, I HAD to, didn't I?" shrug to Matt Damon after she finished. So: Outfit, hell no. Attitude: hell yes.
Amy Adams
Amy Adams showed up looking basically amazing -- the pictures didn't turn out, but she had on super skinny leather-looking pants and her hair was crazy long and thick and wavy. The only question for me was what the heck undershirt she has on here that wants to behead her. It doesn't LOOK like a lanyard you'd hang credentials from -- it seemed attached to the shirt. Be afraid, Adams.
Andy Garcia
Andy Garcia awesomely played Guillermo -- down to a great impression of him -- and one of his bits was to throw a rock and hit a celebrity guest. So he threw one, and hit this person, who for a second I truly thought was going to turn out to be Cher.
The Gang
And everyone on set (which now includes Reese Witherspoon) seemed to be staring at the screen going, "Who IS that?"
Demi Moore
From this angle she's back to... I don't know. She looks like Lacey Chabert. This is Gretchen Wieners all grown up. Which is not a bad thing, but it's also not what I tend to think Demi Moore looks like. I don't know. I just hope she is okay. I'm scared the very fact of Kutch & Kunis ruined her.
Demi Moore
And it was DEMI MOORE. Now, she looked... somewhat more like herself from this angle. Somewhat. (I feel, for some reason, that I should clarify the booze bottles were from Reese Witherspoon's bit and not Demi's. This just feels relevant somehow. BUT.
Awkward
The segment also included a very weird moment where Demi Moore asked if she could take off her jacket, then dumped it on Reese Witherspoon like Reese was the coat-check girl. Amy Adams then took custody of it and folded it in her lap, and then she and Reese ended up exchanging a look and laughing. Oh, Demi. Just give your coat to a stagehand, lady. Or dump it on Jimmy back there.
Ha
But the best part: The whole premise of the show was that Matt Damon, as revenge for being bumped 1205 times (a Kimmel running gag at the end of each show), took over and taunted Jimmy by getting a more potent cabal of A-list guests than Jimmy could ever dream. And when they re-aired it in prime-time, which is what I saw, they had to tease that night's ACTUAL Kimmel episode, featuring... the Kardashians. It was, completely by accident, the world's best punctuation to the joke.