Hart of Dixie

I just realized, this episode contained NO FORMAL SHORTS on Rachel Bilson. I wonder if the network gave a note. Regardless: this outfit is totally cute. Professional, AND sexy.

Hart of Dixie

This is Zoe's Aunt Maureen, who tells her she's a Legacy when it comes to joining The Belles, and who I hope to God we see again, because she was hilariously sassy and reminded me of my own Southern grandma, although my grandma would not have worn that suit, which is a shame, because that suit is SPOT ON for this character.

Hart of Dixie

Meanwhile, Lemon mayhap needs to blend that highlighter in the corner of the eyes a bit more artfully.

Hart of Dixie

Although I do think this dress is possibly fantastic -- we never got to see it from top to toe.

Hart of Dixie

This, on the other hand....ugh. I knew the short shorts would make an appearance on SOMEONE. I am torn. I like the IDEA of Lemon wearing short shorts, because a) great legs and b) they're actually not at all in keeping with her generally annoying costume-y wardrobe, so they feel kind of fresh on her. That being said, they therefore seem out of character and also this suit is hideous.

Hart of Dixie

I would like to note that although The Belles always DO look like refugees from The Help, they are cute refugees. I love that cardigan on Annabeth (the brunette). Zoe Hart, on the other hand, looks very urban and sharp. If she really wants to fit in with these women -- which is what the plot is sort of telling us -- she might FEEL more like part of the group if she toned down the Fashion Forwardness and tossed on a print, for the meetings. I mean, it could be a DARK print. But consider it a SOCIAL EXPERIMENT, Zoe.

Hart of Dixie

Me, personally? I would much rather be eating a fruit cup at the bar with Mayor Lavon Hayes, both of us wearing Liberty-print tops and straw hats.

Hart of Dixie

So, going into the ad, Zoe fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the toilet. When she came to, like Elizabeth Wakefield, she discovered that her entire personality had flip-flopped, and -- oh, wait. That is not at all what happened. Instead, this is part of Lemon's hazing. It's actually pretty funny. Rachel Bilson is a trouper, and this show works so much better when they keep the Doctoring off to the side.

Hart of Dixie

This moment was actually really funny. She's leaving, Jason Street is entering. This is their entire exchange: Jason Street: "Really?" Zoe Hart: "Yeah." I guess you had to be there, but it was a very well-timed comic moment. Also comic: his outfit. The way his tie seems to be making a run for it makes me laugh.

Hart of Dixie

I wish I'd gotten an entire snap of THIS outfit, as well, because while Lemon looks like a lunatic escapee from Grey Gardens from the waist up, her pants were these awesome, loud, rose-printed numbers that I covet. I LOVE a crazy pant.

Hart of Dixie

Whereas these girls -- with whom Lavon is cavorting merely to prove to DiDeee (DiDi? DD? DeeeeDe?) that he is not actually obsessed with her, because her believing that is ruining his game with the rest of the town -- apparently don't like pants AT ALL.

Hart of Dixie

This looks like an outtake from an editorial in Vogue. It is, of course, the obligatory "We're Hazing You, So Time to Shoot You With a Paint Gun" scene. Lemon is wearing pajama-y bottoms that I actually ALSO really like. DAMN YOU AND YOUR WHIMSICAL PANTS, LEMON. You're ruining my cred.

Hart of Dixie

Okay. This is ALSO cute, especially Annabeth's ensemble, although I never need to see a giant flower pin ever again, thank you Carrie Bradshaw. (I have a weakness, as you know, for pink. And polka dots.)

Hart of Dixie

And this is where Zoe announces she will NOT be joining The Belles, even after a week of washing their clothes on a washboard and playing the jug for them, or whatever all they forced her to do. Smart of her to look her MOST New York to tell them -- that necklace is cool, AND I think it's legally a deadly weapon.

Hart of Dixie

Lemon is happy that she doesn't have to see Zoe in her cult meeting every week. She should be more concerned that the flowers on her cardi are fighting the flowers in her dress are fighting the headband in her hair.

Hart of Dixie

I wonder if Lavon is going to explain to DeeeeDi that the reason he told her that he was obsessed with her in the first place was to make Lemon jealous. I advise against that, Lavon. I wonder if DeeDee is going to explain to me where she got a gold lamé gown in the middle of nowhere. Because I might find myself in the middle of nowhere and you know I love a lamé.

Hart of Dixie

It is at this point that I realized I hadn't given you a taste of Hot Neighbor Wade this week, and that surely you would be enraged if I ignored him all together. So here he is, in a tight tee shirt, doing chores. ENJOY.

Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, episode 11

Hart of Dixie is back, and just as charming as it was before the break. (That's not sarcasm -- this show is really cute.) This week's episode was all about Rachel "Dr Zoe Hart" Bilson feeling like she needed to put down roots in Bluebell, in order to belong, and yadda yadda yadda she decides to join The Belles, the Junior League-esque ladies' group that Lemon runs with a fist SO IRON that she's convinced most of her friends that she's actually placed a curse on them that prevents them from getting pregnant before she does (seriously). Obviously, Lemon decides to haze Zoe before letting her into the group (turns out Zoe is a legacy, which is why Lemon doesn't just get to turn her down). This of course involves crazy outfits, forced singing, running errands, and wacky chores. Zoe sticks it out, Lessons Are Learned About Strength of Character, and she eventually decides NOT to join The Belles -- which I guess makes sense for her character, but which I think might have been a story-telling mistake, because Zoe belonging to that group would have opened up a ton of ways to better integrate the rest of the women into the show, with the bonus of having Zoe and Lemon at loggerheads more organically. But it is not to be. Along the way, however, Zoe does (very kindly) get Lemon to remove her "curse," and even gives poor Lemon -- who SERIOUSLY needs to be in therapy to deal with her mother issues -- a very nice get-a-grip talk about how Lemon isn't going to turn into her terrible, abandon-y mom. Personally, I want to sit Lemon down and pour some SSRIs into her overly-made-up mouth. It may be thanks to Jamie King's over-acting, but my GOD I've never seen a character with a more severe case of anxiety in my life. She actually makes ME nervous and I am aware that she is not real. This would be a tour de force of acting were we not watching what is essentially a fluffy comedy. Instead, it's like watching a nuanced rumination on gang warfare stuck in the middle of a Friends episode. Oh, right! The boys. Don't trouble yourself. All you need to know is that Mayor Lavon Hayes and Jason Street's paralegal are back together, and that Hot Wade's crazy drunk dad has been secretly burying cash all over his property. And that Hot Wade is hot, and does the right thing. And that they're actually going with this whole Big Box Store is Coming to Town storyline even though it's boring.