Breakfast!!!
Lavon apparently has taken to his bed in distress over the impending merger of BlueBell and The Hated Fillmore, and AB is trying to get him to start eating his feeling in a way OTHER than via ice cream. Lavon won't have it. NOT EVEN PANCAKES WILL LURE HIM FROM BED.
CRAZY
Meanwhile, George muttered Tansy's name in his sleep and Lynly frkd out and pushed him roughly out of bed. George swears he was just dreaming about the town merger, because Tansy has been helping him and Lavon fight it, but Lynly is jealous and even if she wasn't right about her suspicions, which of course she is, she'd be ruining this relationship with her constant violence/side-eye.
Shelby!
As for Shelby, she's in a muddle because Carl Winslow, who was directing her cabaret, has quit, and she now needs a new director. This plot has a lot of holes in it, not the least of which being that I don't believe for a second that Shelby wouldn't be writing, producing, directing, AND starring in this show to begin with. There's a whole lot of back and forth with her and Brick in this episode -- including a moment where he actually confesses that he was trying to sabotage her and drive her out of town as a way to solve his problem of being unable to say no to her, which causes her to faint, lands her on bedrest, and culminates in him deciding not to resist her anymore. So, they're back together and this recap is done! See ya next week!
Lemon!
Everyone in BlueBell has realized that they're just flailing around incoherently without the guiding hand of Lemon Breeland, and thus they Skype her in to any number of discussions. She tells Brick how to get rid of Shelby (sabotage her show), tells George he better make up with Scooter McGreevy and prevent the Fillmore takeover of BlueBell, and she pops up at a Belles meeting -- despite having quit in a huff -- to explain to them how to use their sorority connections to convince the governor's sister that BlueBell is too precious a treasure to be subsumed by the hellhole that is Fillmore. Everyone, just shut up and listen to Lemon.
Belles!
I would be remiss if I didn't note that Cricket's dress/jacket combo is really cute, though.
Skirts!
As is this entire outfit of Zoe's, the perfect look for an argument with Joel in which she swears she is ALSO creative and which culminates in her agreeing to direct the cabaret. And here is my other question about this plot line: she is directing it, but she apparently also decides to mount a performance of One Cellular Sensation, a cabaret she wrote and directed in med school, about cells. Now, listen. I myself have done some theatre, and I am SURE THE WRITERS OF A TV SHOW HAVE TOO, even if just in high school. And generally, when a director quits and another director steps in, the replacement director keeps directing THE SHOW THEY'VE BEEN WORKING ON ALREADY FOR WEEKS. The deal is not that the new director ALSO gets to CHANGE a production that has already been cast, blocked, costumed, etc etc etc. And everyone who worked on this episode knows that, which makes it feel to me like someone came up with the idea that Zoe wrote this silly play (which feels like the result of a punchy conversation in the writers room) and they really wanted to shoehorn it in. I LOVE all of BlueBell's silly events and shenanigans and it pains me to note that this one doesn't really make sense. But I do love her outfit.
Shirts!
And her leather-trimmed top is ALSO cute.
Meatball!
"Which of these songs is the most metal?" Meatball asks, because Meatball is a damn delight, that's what he is.
Crazy Eyes
Perhaps my FAVORITE part of this episode, for reasons that are obvious, is that Tansy has told George that Lynly has "crazy eyes" -- true -- and that, basically, she's pretty sure Lynly is TOTALLY NUTS. Which, given that I have been pointing out that Lynly seems like a sociopath for months now, pleases me greatly. As does this screengrab. Poor Crzyys. Shoot, "Crazy Eyes" doesn't really work without vowels, does it? Also, now I wish this were a totally cracked out crossover event with Orange is the New Black. George could be representing one of the imprisoned women! Love can blossom!
Dresses!
I love this dress on AnnaBeth -- her Anthropologie bill must be huge, right? Anyway, she and Cricket are on the case of trying to convince the Governor's sister -- whose vanity license plate is, literally, "Gov Sis" -- that BlueBell is a treasured prize to be protected, but she figures out what they're up to -- because they are not subtle -- and she doesn't appreciate it.
Smooches!
This is going great, despite two issues: the shirt looks like it's growing on her, and Wade keeps inviting Vivian to stuff that starts too late for her. She likes to be in bed at a reasonable hour, because she has a job and a small child. And this does not turn into a big old thing, because Wade ALSO likes to sit around and watch TV and drink beer, so don't worry.
The Hills Are Alive!
To prevent Gov Sis from leaving town in a huff, Cricket goes all Sound of Music on her and removes pertinent car parts from her vehicle.
Scooter
George and Scooter becoming friends is probably not going to happen, especially since he and Tansy have a big fight later about how she's been secretly helping the opposition and also because he's a jackass. Albeit a very amusing one. Scooter McGreevy never fails to make me laugh -- as he did here, giving George's entire self a huge thumbs down.
Thumbs Up!
This episode was all about thumbs up and thumbs down. Here, Zoe wears a very cute shirt and continues to try to prove her worth as an artist by directing an embarrassingly terrible show that I can't imagine even her fellow med school students enjoyed. And I say that as someone who wrote a hit cabaret her senior year in high school, which included an at-the-time highly topical 90120 parody in which I played Dylan McKay.
I Love a Caberet!
And the whole cabaret would have, in fact, gotten shuttered until they could find a better director EXCEPT Gov Sis LOVES a cabaret and suddenly our stakes are that this cabaret could save the town! Except we also learn that actually it's not even the governor who cares, it's the lieutenant governor, so there go your stakes again. Even Lavon's hat looks deflated.
SHORTS!
Oh god. The cute shirt ended in shorts. SHORTS! Although I guess shorts ARE Zoe's trademark. Good thing she doesn't ever have any patients anymore so she can keep up her quad workouts.
Dresses!
At least AnnaBeth's dress is quite cute, although I think she's caught Overly Retro-itiis from Season One Lemon, which will come to a head later in this episode.
Dress!
So, Zoe quits the cabaret, Joel takes over -- to save it, and thus save the town, but not really -- and he takes out all her Cellular Bits, and it turns out it's only 12 minutes long, because -- as I mentioned earlier -- Shelby ended up on bed rest. And it's also 12 minutes of terrible. At least Zoe's dress is VERY cute.
Saved!
And then Shelby comes in IN HER BED to save the day! By singing one song, which...whatever. Okay. I would have montaged it so that it appeared to be an actual entire show, but you have to shoot the stuff you're montaging and that shit's expensive, so whatever. Shelby saves the day AND PERHAPS THE TOWN but not really because remember we just learned Gov Sis can't really do all that much anyway. So basically this is all meaningless in the greater scheme of things.
Retro
I think this whole look was kind of a bridge too far, but I appreciate the IDEA OF IT. I fear I am having that thing where if we see too much AnnaBeth, I get really tired of AB. My sweet spot is when a given episode is like 2 parts AB to 5 parts Lemon. Like a cocktail.
Tansy!
So. These two ended up getting drunk with Lynly after Scooter stormed off and having a threesome. Wait, no. Lynly passed out and these two sat on the prow of the boat and Tansy confessed that she regrets breaking up with George and AROUND THE CORNER...
DUM DUM DUM!!
CRAZY EYES LURKS!
Finally
But the thing that actually concerns me most about this episode is learning that JOEL AND ZOE ARE STILL LIVING IN THE FREAKING B&B. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? REVENGE!