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# Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, episode 302
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-hart-of-dixie-episode-302/
- Published: 2013-10-17T18:00:17.000Z
- Updated: 2014-03-01T04:09:23.000Z
- Author: Jessica  
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35

## Joel!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3207.xml)

So, it's too hot in BlueBell for Joel to be able to concentrate on his writing. I have so many comments!

1) DID THEY BOTH JUST MOVE TO BLUEBELL WITHOUT GOING BACK TO NYC TO GET THEIR STUFF? Because that is ridiculous. I guess some of Zoe's stuff might still be in storage, but doesn't Joel want...like, the rest of his pants? Are they looking for an apartment? Why is it that these things call for explanation here and if they start talking about any kind of practical deals on *Revenge*, I am all, "la la la SHUT UP."?

2)Rumor has it, many viewers are not taking kindly to Joel, but I like him. Other than the weather, he is really very open-minded and easy-going, and in this particular episode, he is REALLY a good boyfriend to Zoe. I am Team Joel. I don't know if I want Zoel (ugh. Joe? No. Joeoe?) to end up getting marrying and living happily ever after, but I like *him*.

## Lemon!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3212.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 14 (Total Count, over two episodes): Duvet. Meatball is predictably disgusting but Lemon continues to be intrigued, despite herself. He's disgusting...and she's into it.

## George!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3213.xml)

Okay, so I thought this haircut on George was just the quickie job that Lemon did during last week's training montage, but now it appears it may ACTUALLY be what Scott Porter is doing to his hair? Dude. No. You look like you're late for a third rate Shaun Cassidy convention. Anywaaaay, as we know, George had a one-night-stand with Lavon's Cousin Lynly -- or so he thought. See, what I thought was Lynly being manipulative with AB last week (storming off in a huff when AB asked her how long she planned on living with them) may actually be evidence of run-of-the-mill high-strung capital C Crazy. She and George are kinda awkward in the aftermath of their ONS and he makes her eggs and then goes for a run? And then she's still there when he gets back and wants to go out again because the eggs made her feel loved? And he's all not that into it and long story short, Lavon is NOT going to like ANY of this. Also, if breakfast foods make you feel loved, you should NEVER leave Lavon Manor, Lynly. Everyone is always making breakfast up in that joint. Actually, I think the HoD writers kind of have a thing for breakfest. Also, now I want some breakfast.

## Carl Winslow!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3220.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 15: Carl Winslow's shoulder. He is, of course, interviewing Lemonade about their newly public (fake) relationship and they have not bothered to get their stories straight and they're all over the place and you KNOW Lemon is distracted by her Meatball Sex because I feel like otherwise she would have come over to Wade's with a PowerPoint detailing all the aspects of their cover story.

## Lemonade!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3222.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 16: Condiments! Anyway, the town is REALLY into Lemonade and it's making Lemon AND Wade crazy, so they decide they have to stage a break-up.

## Dishes!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3225.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 17: Dirty dishes (this is a repeat, but I'm just going to count the number of times they stick her behind stuff in general). They REALLY need to stage a break-up once Meatball hears about Lemon's "relationship" and decides to put a stop to his sweet, sweet loving -- he will not be the other man! (I am apparently Team LemonBall). Because she likes throwing away happiness with both hands, Lemon decides that she and Wade DON'T need to stage a break-up because she's trying to stop sleeping with Meatball ANYWAY, so she might as well use Wade as a Meatball-Deterrent. I will note that, as much as I liked this episode, it did have a few bits where it was kind of hard to follow everyone's actual motivation.

## MEATBALL

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3227.xml)

This is Meatball, overhearing the gossip about Wade and Lemon. He is just really selling this. That dude is possibly a genius.

## Joel?

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3229.xml)

So, Zoe wants to show Joel the awesomeness that is BlueBell, and she takes him into the Butter Stick where Tom Long yaps his ear off about his book (Joel's book, not Tom's book; Joel is on a book deadline. I AM ALSO ON A BOOK DEADLINE. Maybe Joel is MY soulmate). It must be said that this outfit is SO CUTE on Rachel Bilson. The new costume guru is doing very well this season.

## Cup!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3240.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 18: Coffee cup/book.

## Brick

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/brick.xml)

One of the funniest things about this Lemon/Wade thing is all the people getting mad at Wade for "not telling \[them\]" that he was seeing Lemon. Tim Matheson, as you see here, was NOT THRILLED that he's been coming into the Rammer Jammer all summer and chatting Wade up about sports, never knowing that Wade was rammer jammering his daughter. Wade is all, "I feel you," very sincerely. Poor Wade is getting the shit end of the stick again. Oh, also. We need to talk about something: Why is everyone acting like dating Wade is HORRIFYING and PERPLEXING? You have all SEEN Wade. Wade has abs for days. Even Joel thinks he is hot. There are tons of reasons to date Wade: he's hot; he's got a sweet car; he's charming. He's your classic bad boy with a heart of gold.

## Glasses!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3244.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 19: Glasses. Also annoyed by Wade not telling him he's dating Lemon? George. Who points out that when he wanted to date Wade's ex-wife, he talked to Wade about it first. Wade is all, IT'S TRUE.

## Tea!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3253.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 20: Tea pot, napkin holder configuration. Cricket is irritated that Lemon has been keeping her affair with Wade a secret, when she spent all summer coming up with a list of eligible Southern bachelors for Lemon to date (read, copying a list out of *Southern Living*)! Including one "Carter Covington," who is in real life, of course, one of the former *Hart of Dixie* producers (he also worked on *Greek*, which is why I've mentioned him in this recaps before) who is no longer on the show (he has a pilot at MTV now). I THINK naming the Ryan McPartlin character in this episode after him is a very sweet Valentine, unless the Ryan McPartlin character comes back and is a serial killer who garrotes Wanda with some real al dente pasta.

## LAVONSPANTS

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3255.xml)

I never noticed that Lavon's kitchen also has what looks like a preponderance of lentils and legumes. He truly does live in a paradise, and those pants are awesome. He is concerned that Lynly hasn't come back from her night out, and wonders why she's so upset...

## KITCHEN PASTRY?

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3256.xml)

...and AB (who is throwing a dinner party to welcome Joel to town, which takes on a life of its own and eventually involves everyone in town) notes that it might be because she asked Lynly when she was planning to leave? Again, I have notes. First of all, AB's dress here is so cute. It might be my favorite thing she's ever worn. And, second: NOW IT'S KITCHEN FRUIT? WTF YOU GUYS. First the Letterman Dumpster disappears and now Lavon has no goddamned kitchen pastry I hate everyone.

## Lynly?

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3258.xml)

So, Lynly comes slumping back in, dramatically bemoaning the Demon Man Who Broke Her Heart (George).

## CAPTAIN AWESOME

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3261.xml)

And while Lavon is off plotting (George's) demise, Lemon is out buying paper towels in convenient bulk and meets Noted Bachelor Carter Covington, who is played by Ryan McPartlin, whom you may remember as Captain Awesome on *Chuck*, or, earlier, as Big Dumb Hank on *Passions*.

Partland's character on *Passions* was SO DUMB, you guys. He was the dumbest and most shirtless police officer in the world, and although his character prior to him being cast in the role once accidentally got in trouble with a French drug cartel which led to his girlfriend needing to fake her own death, which for some dumb reason INVOLVED ACTUALLY BURYING HER, once he was on the show, he mostly took showers at the gym with Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald and said stuff like, "so, how's it going with Theresa?" Anyway, he was charming on *Chuck* and is also charming here and although this is supposed to be a one-off -- like fellow *Passions* vet Justin Hartley (is someone at *Hart of Dixie* a closet *Passions* fan?) -- I hope we see him again.

## Towels!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3265.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 21: A GIANT selection of paper towels. This might be my favorite one so far. Anyway, these two are clearly Meant to Be, which means Lemon needs to ax Wade on the double to free herself up to ACTUALLY date CC.

## Fire Ants!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3267.xml)

Meanwhile, in search of Wifi -- his entire manuscript is on the cloud, which seems unrealistic to me. You back up on the cloud, but your MS is always up to date on your computer, JOEL -- poor Joel has taken a seat on Fire Ant Rock, and literally ended up with ants in his pants. Basically NOTHING is coming up Joel.

## Surgery!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3269.xml)

Need I say more?

## Golf!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3271.xml)

It will relieve you, surely, to know that George is still entranced by Don Todd's Monster Golf Safari. (Don Todd, also, was an EP on *Dixie* and I hope he is off on a Monster Golf Safari right now. He DOES appear to be off working on a TV movie about golf. I betcha Monster Gold Safari was the Syfy version of his pitch.)

## Hair?

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3273.xml)

Sadly, George's Monster Golf Safari-ing is interrupted by Lavon, who is on the warpath to track down the man who made his sweet little cousin eggs and then BROKE HER HEART. (George.)

## Eunuch!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3275.xml)

He may, in fact, use the phrase "future eunuch" when referring to this man. (George.)

## Files!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3276.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 22: File folders. Wherein Lemon gets herself invited to the dinner party that Lavon and AB are throwing for Joel so she can flirt with Carter Covington, who is attending the party because....Lemon wrangled him an invite. This is also the longest Lemon has gone wearing the same shirt, presumably because the costumers can't manage to find something that looks Lemon-ish and also fits.

## Wade!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3281.xml)

Wade also decides he needs to attend this dinner party, which is now less of a dinner and definitely just a party, presumably to f' with Zoe, but also, I think, because Wade realizes it would be a bummer to be noodling around his shack on Lavon's property while everyone else is whooping it up eating AB's crawfish (not a euphemism).

## Cricket!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3284.xml)

I forgot the plotline where everyone thinks Cricket's husband is gay and she's just bearding him (a set-up which seems to delight them both, so carry on). I must admit that while the "I know a lot about lighting and love show tunes!' = gay stereotype is a bit played, this actor is a treat and he always makes me laugh.

## Whoops

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3287.xml)

It turns out that Lavon really really hated Joel's last (first? Only?) novel and wrote an incredibly memorable 1 star review of it on Amazon, in which he also complained that he could not give zero stars. It also turns out that Zoe is wearing a dress which is both very cute on her AND a bit figure-skater-ish, given the massive amounts of illusion-netting AND jewelry that's happening here. Also: that's totally a new room in the Lavon's Manor Set.

## Lynly

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3288.xml)

Lynly here is wearing AB's dress, as a favor to her: to show her how it would look as it is meant to be worn....ON SOMEONE MUCH YOUNGER. Can I admit that I can do without Lynly already? (She also needs to push back her headband a tad.) Because of this, I shall simply sum up: somehow, George agrees to tutor her for the LSATs, without either of them admitting that he's Mr Eggs Over Sleazy, and it's going to be a disaster. Not the least because Lynly warns him that she is a terrible student.

## Candles

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3291.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 23: a giant be-garlanded candle. There's also a lot of yada yada yada about Carter Covington being perfect and amazing but kind of uptight and snooty (so...yes, perfect for Lemon) and Brick loves him and Lemon suspects they are one another's lobster, but she still agrees to continue bearding Wade so Wade can continue to stick it to Zoe, who is starting to figure out that they're totally lying. (I think she also wanted to continue to stick it to Zoe herself.)

## Poor Joel

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3297.xml)

Because terrible things happen to Joel in Alabama, he eats something that's been fried in peanut oil and goes into anaphylaxis and has to be stabbed with his EpiPen and I would say that this one is on Zoe and Joel: if someone's having a party for you, you have to tell that someone if you have a deadly deadly allergy. ANYWAY: Joel is kind of awesome here, I think, because Zoe confesses that she thinks Wade and Lemon are faking their relationship and he is all, "this is dramatic and as a writer, I am INTRIGUED" and he basically helps her figure it out. I hope he also helps her figure out what the deal is with the cut-outs on the side of her dress.

## Food!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3298.xml)

Jaime King's Pregnancy Disguise 23: Carter Covington's giant plate of food.

## Meatball

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3301.xml)

So, Meatball obviously shows up at the party, and then the news is out: Meatball and Lemon are involved. (I tried to put that as delicately as possible.) I can't wait to see what Carl Winslow's blog has to say about THIS.

## Whatever!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3306.xml)

*Apres* party, Zoe puts on this very cute jacket and she and Wade declare a truce and I would put more weight on this if I thought it would last. These two are like the annoying couple you know who keeps breaking up and getting back together and expecting you to want to hear all about it every time. Which surely sounds cranky, but you feel me. We've all been there. MEATBALL!

[Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, episode 302Which prompted Heather to type words that I never anticipated reading, ever: "Meatball is really great in this episode." The thing is, Meatball is really great in this episode. Meatball was also great in the episode where he and Wade were in a band called MIND FACE. Maybe Meatball is just great, period.  ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_3207.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-hart-of-dixie-episode-302-10-2013/)