> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, episode 307 - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-hart-of-dixie-episode-307/ - Published: 2013-11-25T18:30:56.000Z - Updated: 2014-03-01T04:08:12.000Z - Author: Jessica - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35 ## Ugh! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4042.xml) So, this is still happening. This is also a very expository scene wherein George tells us all that everyone in BlueBell is training for a big relay-race, which they've previously lost five years in a row, but this year they finally have the chance to beat Fillmore, those douchecanoes. (This is in part because Lynly went to college on a track scholarship....or so she says. I like to think her speed was a side effect of all the time she spent running from the police after various killing sprees. Lynly Is Psychotic works for me on a much more satisfactory level than Lynly as an Actual Romantic Option for George.) There's also a lot of blah blah about Lynly and George telling Lavon (Lynly and Grg telling Lvn) about their relationship, but George doesn't want to label his dalliance with a possible serial killer, and ergo they decide to keep it quiet because Lavon doesn't need to know that they're just banging. Now, in the interest of being even-handed, while I don't think the actress who plays Lynly is really...doing what she's supposed to be doing (I mean, right? This can't be intentional), Scott Porter is really doing his share of heavy lifting in his scenes with her and has been quite funny, especially when he notes that he is okay keeping this secret from Lavon because he likes his (own) face, and Lavon will surely f' it up when he hears this news. ## Training! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4049.xml) As you can imagine, Lavon REALLY wants to beat Fillmore in this multi-city relay race. While he's putting everyone on the relay team through their paces, AB, in this very very VERY cute look (AB has been looking fabulous this season, although I miss [last season's HideousAdorable coat](https://gofugyourself.com/fug-the-show-hart-of-dixie-8-02-2013/img%5F2116?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)), pops up with a bunch of jam for everyone. See, in the awkward aftermath of her non-ultimatum ultimatum to Lavon about the future of their relationship, she's been taking all her romantic anxiety and pouring it into jam-making. We've all been there. I got straight As one quarter at UCLA thanks to a terrible heartbreak. Lavon is being really squirrelly with AB -- she asks him to dinner, and he says he has to watch relay race game tape -- and I really just need this to work out for these two. ## Don Todd! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4050.xml) Everyone at the Rammer Jammer is watching *Don Todd's Monster Golf Safari*, which continues to be my favorite throwaway through-line joke of perhaps the entire TV season. Well, unless Yolanda The On-Star Woman returns to *Sleepy Hollow*. ## Fancy's! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4052.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 57: Coffee pots/floral arrangements. Lemon is dying to know who bought Fancy's AND she's really riding Brick to start dating again. ## Jam! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4053.xml) AB is sharing her jam because her house is starting to look like *Hoarders: Jam Edition*, a show I would watch. She tells Zoe about her romantical issues with Lavon, and Zoe's advice is to just keep at it -- until they're interrupted by a call from Joel's agent. (Joel has been spending a lot of time hanging out with Wade and not writing). Apparently, Joel missed a deadline -- his first three chapters were due yesterday. I have never heard of someone owing their first three chapters on a second book after a first book was a huge hit -- we learn in this episode that *The Cicada's Lament* sold half a million copies (!!!) and was short-listed for the National Book Award (!!!) so I imagine his editor would be letting him just work it out on his own and would not need to see something so preliminary. It's POSSIBLE he's trying to get a partial manuscript under his belt to sell book two, and the deadline was to his agent specifically, but I can't imagine his publisher is going to be anything but lenient with those kinds of sales. I'M JUST SAYING. Also, that jacket is cute and we never saw the rest of that outfit on Zoe. I think it was just a black skirt, but let's pretend it was formal shorts for the sake of Formal Shorts Continuity. ## Games! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4054.xml) Turns out Joel has writer's block and hanging out with Wade playing video games is his favorite procrastination. That would also be my own favorite procrastination if I lived in BlueBell (as it is, my personal procrastination go-to is plucking my brows.) Zoe is all scold-y about him not getting any work down, and he's all stressed about his inability to write and is pretty sure his next book is going to suck, hard. ## Tom! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4056.xml) I forgot that Tom is Joel's #1 fan. I do enjoy that Tom is secretly reading a lot of literary fiction, and he is really funny in this scene; I think this, plus last week's jingle-writing with Wade, has finally sold me on Tom. Anyway, Joel asks Zoe for "a Valium, or a Vicodan, or a Xanax, really any of your end-of-the-alphabet drugs" to calm his writing nerves, and Tom's reaction to the news about Joel's writer's block is great, namely: "NOOOOOO." He also points out that if Joel loses the ability to write, his fans will blame Zoe, "and fans are the meanest people there are." IT'S TRUE. Being threatened with being painted by history with the Yoko Ono brush really spurs Zoe to try to fix Joel's writerly issues beyond just giving him a lollypop and telling him to get a grip. ## Guns! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4057.xml) I figured you probably wanted to see Scott Porter's guns. ## Drunkards! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4059.xml) Remember Tansy's redneck brothers? They haven't paid their Rammer Jammer tab in ages and Wade is refusing to serve them -- both because they owe him big, and because they're already drunk. They promise he will regret this! ## Huh?! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4062.xml) I find that little bit of fabric right at the top of Zoe's top very distracting. ## Stripes! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4063.xml) Lavon's Kitchen Pastries are really getting out of the house this season -- first, they got to chill by Lake Lavon, and now AnnaBeth is bring them to track practice to try and tempt Lavon into loving her again. He rejects her pastries AND her overtures, because he can't deal with this upheaval in his romantic life. At least her dress is cute. ## Love! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4065.xml) George makes TERRIBLE romantic choices in his own life, but he is not stupid, which is why he finally asks Lavon what is going on with him. Lavon explains what's happening with AB, saying, "our whole relationship is all wonky," which is EXACTLY the way I would have put it. He is very distraught about it, but his big, brilliant plan is to "keep avoiding her." George hugs him -- awkwardly, as shown -- in part because he's sympathetic, but also because he feels real guilty when Lavon is all, "George, you always have my back" and he knows that he's in the middle of A LIE. A LIE! ## Tea! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4067.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 58: Tea pots. Lemon has never had more tea than throughout Jaime King's pregnancy. Anyway, she runs into the former owner of Fancy's and he will not tell her to whom he sold, and she is both perplexed, and cute in that top. ## Ow! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4069.xml) George really wants to tell Lavon about his relationship with Lynly, and Lynly agrees, as long as they wait until after the race, and then they make out and she falls off him and cracks her knee and she's out! Out of the race, not the relationship. ## Ringers! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4074.xml) Mayor Gainey of Fillmore has brought his relay team to train in BlueBell, primarily to get in the heads of the BlueBell relay team, because Mayor Gainey is the WORST! I still cannot believe that Tansy is dating Todd Gainey Jr. That is a betrayal of the highest order, like if Chewbacca started dating Darth Vader. But Fillmore training in BlueBell is how we know that Fillmore's relay team has a ringer: this hot muscular dude, with the humorous name of Dusty LeMaire. They are really screwed without Lynly, in other words. ## Lula's! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4077.xml) In an attempt to get Joel back into the writing mode, Zoe has taken a corner of the Rammer Jammer and recreated Lula's, the coffee shop where Joel wrote *The Cicada's Lament*, including angry art, black and white cookies, a disaffected Goth waitress in the form of a mildly amusing Wanda, and a homeless dude played by Tom himself. ## Knees! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4082.xml) Lynly accidentally spills the beans to Lavon about her romance with George. ## Anger! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/lavon-is-mad.xml) It does NOT go over well. Lavon, in fact, kicks George off the relay team/George quits the relay team when Lavon gives an ultimatum of his own, namely: choose between Lynly and the relay. ## Shirtlessness! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4094.xml) Thank you, *Hart of Dixie*, for bringing back Shirtless Wade. Zoe comes over to Wade's early one morning to look for Joel (who was last seen AT Wade's house, because her Rammer Jammer Lula's Scheme didn't work and he wanted to go "blow off some steam"). And now he's missing. Never a dull moment in BlueBell. ## Boxes! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4098.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 59: Boxes! At last, the quintessential pregnancy concealer. Lemon didn't have a ton to do in this episode -- presumably because Jaime King had to be about to leave to have her baby -- and here, she basically goes Old School Lemon on Former Mr Fancy's to find out who bought it. (You know she's about to be a crazy bitch because she's got her old school, season one, 1950s Lemon hair accessories in. Oh, Lemon. I really love you now. You're the Blair Waldorf of this show, without the Chuck Bass.) ## Meatball! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4099.xml) Meatball's been bumped up to starter on the relay team now that Lynly is injured and George has quit, a development he attributes to his own powers of visualization. "I should use this power for good. I'm gonna visual a tree that grow donuts." I love you, Meatball. I also love those BlueBell shirts, which The CW should really sell. Anyway, unsurprisingly, the BlueBell relay team is really struggling, not least because Cricket has been binging on AB's jam. "Turns out, jam on cheese is DELICIOUS," she points out. ## Wedges? ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4102.xml) NO ONE ON CRUTCHES WEARS WEDGES. I know this because I spent part of this summer on crutches after falling in the gutter and I missed my wedges desperately. Maybe Wedges + Crutches will combine to pitch Lynly off George's houseboat and into the drink? No such luck, as instead this scene involves him confessing that he's off the team because he wouldn't stop seeing her and admitting that maybe they are in a relationship. You're going to regret this, George, when you find yourself at the bottom of her well, putting lotion in a basket. ## Chevron Stripes! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4130.xml) Ugh, I LOVE this blue and green chevron-striped dress on AB. I need to to be mine. Anyway, it's nice for her that she's wearing something adorable while she and Lavon have it out about their relationship, using her jam as a metaphor. "Sometimes people don't know they WANT JAM until you put it right in front of them," AB says. "You can't shove your jam down people's throats," Lavon says. "Even if you like jam, it makes you not want it." "MAYBE NOT, but JAM HAS AN EXPIRATION. You can't just let it sit on a shelf FOREVER." With that, AB takes her jam and goes home. ## Kidnapping! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4105.xml) Yeah, so Tansy's Brothers Three have kidnapped Joel and are holding him for ransom until Wade forgives their bar tab. Zoe: "Where is he? And why are his hands sort of tied? ## George Tucker Is Our King! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4110.xml) It will not surprise you to hear that George gets back on the relay team after he tells Lavon to grow up and accept his relationship with Lynly (and Lavon realizes that they really need George's speed on the squad), and they beat the hated Fillmore. Why don't I live in a charming small town surprisingly full of eligible bachelors, which also has fun sporting events and a robust sense of community? No one in my neighborhood is having relay races to defeat our hated rivals, and I LOVE defeating hated rivals. ## Lemon! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4112.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 60: Tim Matheson's body. ## Mediating! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4118.xml) A) Zoe's jeans and cardigan are totally, totally cute here. B) She and Wade are SO getting back together, as the show has turned Wade's Flirtatious Charm with her back up to 11\. He is QUITE sure that she's still in love with him, and I tend to agree. This is going to extra suck for everyone now that Joel and Wade are friends. C) "We'll return Joelle, IF THAT'S HIS REAL NAME, when you forgive our debt." I sincerely laughed every time one of Tansy's Three Redneck Brothers said the word "Joelle." D) Zoe negotiates Joelle's release thusly: Wade is terrible at collecting bar tabs, so the Truitt Brothers agree to work off their debt by collecting OTHER people's debts for Wade. E) Joel LOVED being kidnapped! It was super fun. They ate spray cheese and moonshine for breakfast! He is SO INSPIRED now!!! Finger guns! (You know how I feel about finger guns.) ## Kissing! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4120.xml) Yeah, they made up. I feel better now. I have so little in my life, please don't make Lavon unhappy. ## Kissing II: The Kissening! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4121.xml) And these two are no longer hiding their romance, no matter how little chemistry the rest of us think it holds. Right now, I'm wondering how they're going to get rid of Lynly -- which surely they are. My bet: she gets into law school far away and moves. What do you think? ## Writing! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4122.xml) Joel's making great progress on his book ever since he got kidnapped! Maybe I should try that.... ## Knocked Up! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4126.xml) And guess who did buy Fancy's? LAURA BELL BUNDY. WHO IS PREGNANT. And everyone -- by which I mean Lemon and Brick himself -- is pretty sure the baby is his. ## Eye Rolling! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4127.xml) Lemon is clearly thrilled by this development. I just want to know what they're going to name this next fruit of Brick's loins. May I suggest CRANBERRY? [Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, episode 307This episode was really pretty funny, which makes sense given that it included many of the things Hart of Dixie does well: small town rivalries, big events, and kidnappings. Oh, wait. Also including: a lot of new b-roll (I do notice these things, Hart of Dixie producers!), the return of Laura Bella Bundy, which I welcome despite the fact that it totally hosed my theory that the buyer of Fancy's would turn out to be Lemon's new love interest -- which I stand by as a good story idea! -- and some very funny Tom Long scenes. Regular readers know that I am not a big fan of ToWanda, but now I think it's actually just that I am not overly hot on Wanda. Also: continuing genius work from Meatball. Meatball, I love you.![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4042.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-hart-of-dixie-episode-307-11-2013/)