> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, episode 308 - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-hart-of-dixie-episode-308/ - Published: 2013-11-27T17:00:34.000Z - Updated: 2014-03-01T04:01:05.000Z - Author: Jessica - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35 ## Elnett! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4132.xml) Zoe has been sent out first thing in the morning to fetch hairspray for Joelle's Grandma Sylvie -- we're all been there -- and of course she runs into Her Cousin Vivian (who you may remember [did NOT respond well when Zoe crashed her child's birthday party, pretended she was the entertainment, and then tried to get in good with the family](https://gofugyourself.com/fug-the-show-hart-of-dixie-episode-306-11-2013/img%5F3951?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)). Apparently, Zoe has sent apology balloons to Vivian, but Vivian is unmoved. And unimpressed that Zoe is wearing fuzzy slippers to the store. And is not interested in coming to Hanukkah dinner. She's just NOT about everything. ## Pancakes! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4138.xml) So many notes. a) Lynly acts like a SQUIRRELLY LUNATIC about the fact that George stayed over and she's bringing him pancakes, but at least her robe is very cute. b) Speaking of, Zoe's sweater is so cute and wait until you see the rest of her outfit. She also asks Lavon if she and Joel and Grandma Sylvie can do Hanukkah there, since they don't have a kitchen BECAUSE THEY'RE NEVER GETTING THEIR OWN PLACE, and Lavon is, as you would imagine, totally into it and asks her many a question about Hanukkah and it becomes clear that Zoe is not entirely clear on the Hanukkah story herself. Did she learn NOTHING from dating Seth Cohen? ## Bars! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4140.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 61: Pastries and flowers and in fact, an ENTIRE BAR. This is like the Kitchen Sink of Pregnancy Concealment. Anyway, as you may guess, Brick is FREAAAAAAAKING OUT about Shelby being knocked up, and Jaime King gets the opportunity to roll her eyes and bitch her way through the entire scene and it's really extremely funny. She points out that Shelby has some freakish hold over Brick (it's sex) and she says that SHE will handle finding out whether or not Brick is the baby daddy or not, because if Brick is left to his own devices, he'll end up buying Shelby a house. ## Shirtlessness! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4147.xml) Lemon hustles over to the SS George and interrupts these two in the act. She is totally unmoved by this: "George, there are matters more important than your carnal pleasures. Shelby's back, she bought Fancy's, and she's about seven months pregnant." Cue this expression on George, that inveterate gossip. (I have a weakness for gossipy bros.) Lemon puts George in charge of getting the dish behind Shelby being able to afford Fancy's -- if you recall, she was broke last season -- because she blames him for bringing Shelby into their lives in the first place. I just realized, because I usually refer to her as "Laura Bell Bundy," that *Hart of Dixie* has a "Brick" and a "Shelby," and so in fact did [*Spoiled*. ](https://www.amazon.com/Spoiled-Heather-Cocks/dp/0316098272/ref=sr%5F1%5F1%5Ftitle%5F2%5Fpap?ie=UTF8&qid=1352766559&sr=8-1&keywords=spoiled&ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)Weird mind-meld happening there. ## Side-eyes! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4148.xml) Lemon is no bigger a fan of Lynly than the rest of us. But her hair looks great. ## Grandmas! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4150.xml) Grandma Sylvie is just delightful and when Zoe is bemoaning having blown things with the Wilkes, wisely points out that Hanukkah is a time for miracles! Joel doesn't want to her get into "the whole spiel," but Zoe is into it. "Hanukkah is a time to expect the unexpected," Grandma Sylvia says. So, it's just like *Big Brother*? Interesting. Do go on. "A time for reunited with people who matter...." Like the following? ## Bumps! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4152.xml) In a rapid-fire speech (and a very cute dress), LBB (I can't change my ways with her nickname, I decided) tells Brick that she's bought Fancy's, turned it into a cabaret, that he was right to dump her because she was a mess, and that he's still cute and sexy and she'll catch up with him at the Harvest Festival the next day. Then she toddles off without even mentioning the baby! If Brick were a cartoon, his eyes would have turned into hearts and bulged out of his head. Additionally, I feel like *The Vampire Diaries* ALSO has a Harvest Festival. I hope this eventually culminates in a CW Crossover Event wherein Klaus and Elijah stop in BlueBell on their way to/from New Orleans and carry Lynly off with him. I do think that Klaus would love Lemon; He has a weakness for blondes who don't take any shit from people. ## Tansy! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4155.xml) So, Wade has a tooth issue and he's too big of a baby to go to the dentist...until Tansy shows up and makes him. She's in town now because she's a process server (she's trying to make enough money to rent her own hair-styling chair somewhere). It's too bad I'm mad at Tansy for dating that Fillmore Bastard Todd Gainey Jr, because she ALSO looks REALLY cute in that outfit and her hair has never looked better. Everyone actually looks extra cute this week. ## Skirts! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4156.xml) I mean, LOOK AT THAT SKIRT. SO CUTE. ## Squirrels are evil. ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4157.xml) Brando Wilkes, Zoe's uncle, has been bitten by a squirrel. Zoe: "Hanukkah miracles DO exist!" Anyway, Brando is a very, very nice man, recently widowed, and a total kick. He is obviously into being in Zoe's life and says some really nice stuff about how her father would be proud of her, yada yada yada, and so she invites him to lunch and he and Grandma Sylvie basically fall in love and hook up. There, that plot line's taken care of. ## Leopard! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4160.xml) Ugh, as much as I loathe to say nice things about Lynly -- other than that I am sure her upcoming turn as George's captor and near-murderer will be chilling on the same level as Jamie Dornan's turn in *The Fall* \-- this outfit is ALSO extremely cute. She and George tell Lemon that LBB doesn't have a sugar daddy, so they don't know how she bought Fancy's. (My bet is, she sold a shopping/clothing app.) ## Eyerolls! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4162.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 62: Brick himself. I...can't wait for you to see what a re-besotted Brick went and procured for LBB. ## YES. ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4163.xml) WHAT. YES. That is hilarious and majestic. A thousand celebratory latkes for the prop master. Obviously, they're at Defcon One with Brick here, so George suggest Lemon do "the unthinkable." Call her Evil/Hilarious Grandma Betty and let her handle this. Surely with hellfire and brimstone. ## Necklaces! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4164.xml) Vivian is NOT THRILLED with the idea of Brando -- so called because he does really remarkably terrible imitations of Brando (and other people), did I mention that? -- hanging out with Zoe. Not thrilled at all, to the extent of telling Zoe to STAY AAAAAAWAAAAY FROM THEM. I wonder if AB -- who is not in this episode at all, without any explanation -- is similarly unhappy about the fact that the show has cast someone who really resembles her and also sort of dresses like her. ## BETTY ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4165.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 63: Flowers, teapots, basically anything they had lying around the Butter Stick set that they could set up in front of Jaime King. Who, I will note, looks SO PRETTY in this episode. Pregnancy truly suits her. Anyway, she and George have called in the cavalry in the form of her Evil Genius Grandmother, who never fails to make me laugh. She's like if Ursula the Sea Witch took human form as the president of the Junior League, and in a chilling moment, she tell Lemon and George to consider the LBB issue "handled." Olivia Pope could seriously use Betty's services. ## Marriage? ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4170.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 64: More flowers/a sofa. It's an LBB Intervention. Betty points out that this illegitimate child thing is very tacky and ergo, BRICK WILL MARRY THIS WOMAN. Lemon and George both fall over themselves in horror (Lemon: "WHAT IS HAPPENING?") but Brick is like, "that's a GREAT IDEA!" Note: Lemon and George working together as platonic friends is actually pretty entertaining. I have NO IDEA how the show is going to be able to contrive many reasons for that to happen often, but they should consider it. ## Drugs! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4171.xml) Tansy gave Wade some anti-anxiety meds to help him through his dentist appointment and instead of one, he took three. Ergo, he is hella stoned. ("I'm seeing THE TRUTH. You are SO KIND. You are the best ex-wife I ever HAD. You shouldn't be a processsssseeeer. Serverer. A prosser servvvicer?") And Tansy leaves him there, with firm instructions not to move, but of course he gets up and wanders into the nearby Harvest Festival maze, which is one of the many ways in which *Hart of Dixie* is like *The Shining*. ## SQUEE ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4176.xml) And so does Zoe, who just happens to be passing by, and in a scene very much like the pivotal one in *A Room With a View* where George Emerson plants one on Lucy Honeychuch before Professor McGonagall ruins everything in an Italian poppy field, he kisses her. Except without Italy, or the poppies, or the opera, or Julian Sands, and with no one coming in to interrupt them. Although technically I suppose Tansy is playing the role of Cousin Charlotte. Regardless, it's really rather romantic and exciting, even though he's on anxiety meds and she has a boyfriend. ## Cute. ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4178.xml) Ugh, Zoe's second outfit is ALSO SO CUTE. Anyway, she just waits for Wade to wake up the next day and then promptly reminds him she has a boyfriend, who is his friend, AGAIN (she doesn't mention that kissing the girl his friend likes is a pattern of Wade's, that's just me editorializing) and, finally, she tells him to cut it out/get a grip/stop kissing her. Wade is appropriately chastened. ## Dog Reaction Shots! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4179.xml) Even Tansy is like, "get hold of yourself, man." ## Lynly ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4181.xml) Lynly: still looks cute, still frightens me to the very core. She's pretty relaxed about the fact that George has dated the entire town, though. (I hope it goes without saying that the Harvest Festival, as seen here, is totally charming and cute and no vampires happen to pop up.) ## Babies! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4184.xml) In which Brick -- but not the audience -- learns that LBB got artificiality inseminated. The moment where LBB tells him she's pregnant and Tim Matheson pretends he totally didn't notice is really, really funny though. ## Love! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4187.xml) Oh, right, there was a whole kerfuffle about how these two were missing. But they're just two loved up adults who wanted to make out in a corn maze like everyone else. Eventually, Vivian and Zoe track them down and Vivian has a hissy and we all learn that she's been a total disaster ever since her husband left her. DUM DUM DUMMMMM! ## HATS! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4188.xml) Lavon, I think, speaks for all of us when he sees Lynly and George making out and says: "EW. No, no, no. MY EYES." ## AAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHH! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4189.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 65: Yet more flowers. It turns out Grandma Betty is so excited about this new baby because, despite the fact that LBB is "a shallow, money-grubbing harlot," she feels that perhaps the third time will be the charm -- Magnolia being a "hooligan " and Lemon being disappointing for reasons which I suspect begin with "got left at the altar in a hurricane." And so when she learns that LBB actually just made a withdrawal from the sperm bank, she has a (very amusing) rage fit and screams, "DON'T YOU IDIOTS KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU?!" and then races off and trips and falls down the stairs and breaks her hip. There is quite sincerely nothing I love more than hearing someone off-screen go, "whoopsssssaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" ## Rammer Jammer! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4191.xml) Two things: 1) Tansy very FIRMLY talks Wade into the idea that he start dating women who will make him go to the dentist -- in other words, someone who actually cares about him and isn't just some random floozy who works at the Rammer Jammer. 2) He agrees to do so, IF she will quit her job serving people. Wade, how can you ask a woman to quit a job where she is legally allowed to say, "YOU GOT SERVED!" multiple times a day? 3) To that end, Wade hires Tansy to work at the Rammer Jammer. This ought to be interesting. ## Bonding! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4192.xml) As is not particularly surprising, these two talk about how Vivian's life is kind of in the hole right now, thanks to her marriage imploding, and that's why she's been so tough on Zoe. She apologizes, and Zoe maturely takes on her portion of the blame as well. It's actually a very adult, reasonable conversation that culminates in Zoe inviting Vivian to Hanukkah dinner. ## LLAMAS (Alpacas?) ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4195.xml) Two things: THERE ARE LLAMAS IN BLUEBELL and also when I realized that they were setting up Wade to start dating Vivian -- he remembers her from when they were younger (she was the smartest girl at his rival school; plus, she could roller-skate backwards); she's exactly the sort of girl Tansy just told him to date, and also, she's quite pretty -- I gasped aloud. I literally gasped. ## Vaya Con Dios, Jaime King. ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4196.xml) Jaime King Pregnancy Disguise 66: THE FINAL DISGUISE: flowers and glasses and booze! In which we learn how Jaime King is getting written off the show for her maternity leave: She's heading off to nurse Evil Grandma Betty through her broken hip. I hope Lemon isn't gone too long; this show would not be the same without her. Remember how TERRIBLE I thought she was the first season? I have completely and utterly changed my mind, and it's due both to much better writing for her, but also in huge part because Jaime King has really REALLY improved, and deserves a tremendous amount of credit. Lemon is a huge part of why I like this show so much. Ladies and gentleman, a round of applause! ## Shalom! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4197.xml) KITCHEN CHALLAH. It's a Hanukkah miracle! ## Shalom Indeed ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4199.xml) As is the fact that Vivian came, and brought MANY a Wilkes, to Zoe's (and Sylvie's) delight. ## Candles! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4200.xml) All of whom learned about Hanukkah and ate a delicious meal while Wade and Vivian flirted and he eventually gave her a ride home, and Zoe looked like she might feel a little weird about it. This is the scene where I realized that AB was MIA; surely there was a line explaining that which was cut out, because she and Lavon were just making out last week and I can't imagine she'd miss an opportunity to put some of her jam on some latkes. ## I Made It Out of Clay! ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4201.xml) I could not resist ending this recap on Lavon playing the dreidel with the children, but you should know that he has a long talk with Lynly how happy she is with George, who is AT THAT VERY MOMENT running into Tansy at the Rammer Jammer and acting squirrelly about it. REVENGE! Wait, no. HANUKKAH! The show doesn't came back until January 13th, which feels like a very long time to wait, no? Maybe potato pancakes will help us ALL get through it. [Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, episode 308This show is a charming delight, and this particular episode had everything: pastries! Festivals! Bizarre uses of neon! People dramatically screeching as they careened down stairs! Senior citizen romance! Latkes! Corn mazes! Kissing! Drugs! REALLY cute outfits!  ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_4132.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-hart-of-dixie-episode-308-11-2013/)