Coats!

Lemon looks amazing here. This is my FAVORITE of her coats, and I totally dug out the one I own that's similar, and wore it this weekend after seeing her in it.

Vivian

I cannot get a handle on who the show thinks Vivian is, wardrobe-wise. Zoe is the chic New Yorker (the leather shorts are back this week and more bunchy than ever); Lemon is sunny, retro-inspired, ladylike. AB has a twenty-thousand dollar balance on her Anthropologie card. But Vivian is either in a cute sundress (here) or she goes secretly, suddenly tacky and it doesn't make sense. ALL of Vivian, in fact, doesn't make sense. In this episode, she is suddenly ignoring Wade and pining for her family, when half the time prior to this, she literally acted like Harley was a stranger to her. ANYWAY, all you need to know is that Wade has realized -- after Ex Husband Charles slept over, "on the couch," which screams bullshit to me -- that he's more into V than she is into him.

Split Screen!

AB throws Zoe and Lemon together to take care of themselves while she takes care of Barry Watson, which teaches us that they could trade aspects of their outfits quite nicely, although Lemon would rather stab herself in the face than wear those pants of Zoe's.

Donut!

Mayor Gainey brings Lavon a giant donut when he pops by to share the news that his nephew is hooking up with Lavon's ex. I appreciate both Cress Williams's commitment in this episode -- he is seriously so good on this show; I love him -- and this show's love of Pastry As Story-Telling Tool.

MUSCLES!

I also appreciate how many push-ups he can do. I DO NOT appreciate basically seeing Zoe's underbutt.

Lemon

Robert Buckley likes Lemon in jeans, and so do I. This is a very cute casual look on her. Jaime King has been so fabulous-looking since she got back from her maternity leave.

Three Piece Suits!

Lavon looks sharp as hell in his three-piece suit, and he has MADE THIS MINIATURE BLUEBELL SO AS TO HELP SELL THE COUNTY FAIR. He is THE MOST. If I lived in BlueBell I would spend all my days trying to get Lavon Hayes to marry me. HE HAS EVERYTHING. Suits! Muscles! Pastry! A LAKE. AN ALLIGATOR NAMED BURT REYNOLDS. Also some deep-seated sadness and regret over ending things with AB...so, also, ANGST! I LOVE ANGST.

Dumb

So, this was absurd. These two LEFT THEIR DATES FOR AN HOUR to go get advice from one another. This was addressed in the subsequent scenes with said dates -- surely a reaction to early notes on the script -- but that just doesn't ring true. At all. And Zoe's Jackass Date (who was pretty funny) actually waited AN HOUR for her to come back to their table at the restaurant? NO. And Lemon leaves Robert Buckley alone in her house for an hour? ALSO NO. If only because Lemon's a better host than that.

Ugh.

Go away, Vivian, but you can leave that dress for AB. She'll love it.

Carter Covington

Why do you pay Ryan McPartlin for five minutes in a pair of silk pajamas -- wait, I totally get why you do that. Moving along.

Robes

This show has an amazing robe wardrobe. I LOVE a good robe. You should see my collection. It's apt given that I hardly ever leave the house. Also, as always, the "No-Makeup-No-Hair" AB is SO pretty.

Talk To the Hand

But she looks cute when she's telling Lavon to leave her alone.

Friends!

I could not get a good shot of Zoe's shorts here, but they're her classic Pleated Leather ones -- maybe her Heartbreak Wardrobe involves her classic looks -- and they did not really look so hot on her. Lemon, on the other hand, looks glam as hell. Never change, Lemon.

Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, season 3, episode 18

There are only three more episodes to go after this and I getting worried that we're going to end this season on an unsatisfying note, especially as the show has not yet been renewed. I mean, nothing's more unsatisfying than the end of Models, Inc., which left one character held hostage in a Mexican brothel and another plummeting off a balcony, but still. This week's episode managed to be charming and entertaining, and yet also several of its characters made decisions that I think are wrong-headed and found frustrating. That's BlueBell! Topline info: No one cares about the Magnolia plot, am I right? I'm right. Ergo, I'm just going to tell you that she's off to ANOTHER boarding school, which Brick has promised to visit regularly to keep her on the straight and narrow. Just send her to Switzerland, you guys! Swiss boarding school! It's a classic for a reason! Three years from now (if the show is magically still on the air, which would be nice for everyone), she can come back as a totally different person. Literally. You can recast her. Barry Watson and AB are mad crazy in lust for each other and bravo for them. Mayor Gainey uses this info to make Lavon CRAAAAAAZY with jealousy and torpedo his attempt to get the County Fair held in BlueBell. Lavon gets drunk, gets jealous, and tells AB that Barry Watson is just toying with her as a way to f with BlueBell. Which was inappropriate and AB is right to be infuriated with Lavon -- not least because I am pretty sure Barry Watson is not a master manipulator con artist -- but while AB doesn't owe Lavon anything, it would have been mature and advisable of her to give him the heads up that she's now dating the nephew of his biggest enemy so he doesn't find out from said enemy. Just as a kindness to someone she presumably once loved. AB's absent from Lemon and Zoe's lives because she's banging Barry Watson all hours of the night and day -- good for her! -- and so they are forced to turn to one another for advice on all things romantic, despite their mutual antipathy. Zoe is AN IDIOT and goes on a date with a jackass. That's not why she's an idiot -- if going on a first date with a jackass makes you an idiot, we are all idiots -- but GOING ON A DATE WITH A DUDE THREE WEEKS AFTER A MASSIVE HEARTBREAK IS A BAD IDEA. That's the time when you get crazy drunk and make out with strangers and come up with an unflattering nickname for your ex (I called one of mine "RatFace" for a time; very mature), not go on real dates. Then she decides to sell the house she just remodeled. Well, great. So glad that literally 100% of Zoe's plot for this season has turned out to have zero lasting meaning. Hot hot Robert Buckley is BACK and he's HOT and Lemon doesn't nail him because he's a Travelling Man who can't settle down in BlueBell -- due to being a news producer -- and she's looking for something serious. Let me just say, with the wisdom of my accumulated years: when hot hot Robert Buckley pops into town and is all hot, NAIL HIM. GOD. I'm pretty sure George is falling back in love with Lemon. Vivian is the worst, and Wade deserves better. Not least because she wore an ABSURD outfit that was barely on screen, so I couldn't get a snap of it. It was skintight pink jeans and ANOTHER MIDRIFF-BARING TOP. Ugh, Vivian. You can go now.