Outfit #1

This week's cold open is about, yes, Jane changing her outfits. She picks out this one, and she is so happy with it, and then she frowns at it. We aren't sure whether she's cross that she's wearing something from Chico's, or mad that she paid all that money for an immunity idol on eBay and doesn't have a THING to wear it with.

Outfit #2

Apparently, it was the former, because she keeps the chastity talisman and moves the other pieces. It's back to her usual silhouette: snug shirt, jacket (sometimes a cardigan), poofy skirt. And Wiccan sex charm.

Outfit #3

The third one is the outfit Jane wears the ENTIRE rest of the episode. I should point out that she picked it KNOWING she was taking a red-eye to Paris, hanging out there for five hours, then coming back. I'd love to know, somewhere in hour three of the return flight, whether she will regret having not stashed some PJ pants and a flannel in her carry-on. That skirt is not super flattering -- perhaps she was in a Bjorkian swan mood this morn -- and it is SHORT. You have to be careful how you move in that thing, pet.

Outfit #3

No, I said CAREFUL.

Outfit #3

CAREFUL. As in, take CARE not to flop your crotch out of it.

Outfit #3

We really need to talk about the concept of careful. Tights aren't an invisibility cloak, Jane.

Paris

However, it appears they really DID shoot this sucker in Paris.

Paris

And they had her running through the entire city. In that skirt.

Paris

All that way for this last act of one episode, and it's like Parisian Abbey Road up in here. I wonder if they ACTUALLY chucked her out there on a red-eye and turned her around five hours later. It's like a fashion Amazing Race.

Paris

They DID let her slow down for a boat ride...

Duckie

... and a chat to Duckie, who keeps getting cuter every week even though I am not a huge fan of his dumb double rings...

Paris

But, of course, they let her wander toward the Eiffel Tower at the end of the episode, and I bet this one was pretty damn fun for Erica Dasher to shoot. Her dream job took her to Paris -- lots of art imitating life imitating art there. Here's hoping SHE at least packed some pants.

Fug the Show: Jane By Design, episode 5, with bonus Paris

Only three outfits this week, but one of them got to go to Paris -- yes, actual Paris, not just Backlot Paris, or Paris Hilton's house -- and do a lot of jogging. Lucky outfit. Well, it'd have been luckier without the jogging, but still. This brings our outfit count to 42 for the series, each one more elaborately accessorized with necklaces and ginormous rings than the last. And that number doesn't even include her various pajama tees or the sweats she wore in gym class. Erica Dasher must spend a lot of time in wardrobe. Plot: I was all crabby on Twitter the other day about how it's only the fifth episode of this show -- EVER, not even, like, season three, episode five -- and they were already trotting Jane off to Paris AND implying that she was realizing Duckie is her One True Love, and I was all, "Did they prank the writers that this was a six-episode miniseries?" But it ended up not being as ridiculous as I expected: Andie needs a look book hand-carried to her in France, so she books Jane on a red-eye and only gives her a few hours on the ground in Paris before she has to go home. Jane fakes a sleepover at Lulu's house (which Duckie gets Lulu to agree to by shoving his tongue down her throat), and we have a lot of time-killing nonsense wherein she loses the lookbook, but it's an inane waste because we all knew she was going to find it and get to go. She calls Duckie from Paris -- he is stuck getting dragged on illegal errands with his ne'er-do-well brother, who ne'er-do-welling WAY more than Jane's Deadbeat Brother (who is actually well-meaning and nice and employed now, and not a shoplifter who makes out with panties-clad ladies on his relatives' beds) -- and it's very sweet, and tinged with great affection but zero covert lust. I hate when people cut promos to full-on sucker you, rather than merely tease.