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# Fug the Show: Recap of "Lindsay" on OWN, season 1, episode 2
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-lindsay-recap-season-1-episode-2/
- Published: 2014-03-18T21:00:07.000Z
- Updated: 2014-04-01T23:23:44.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:37

## Mean Suite

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-1-1024x768.xml)

The entire first act is about Lindsay STILL not having her apartment, and the Soho Grand needs her room, so she has to move to YET ANOTHER one (although I don't think this is the hotel she was in last week, because Jess and I stay here a lot and so we recognized it instantly). And when her assistant goes into prod her about it -- the hotel probably has to have it ready for someone by three, and it's two-fifteen -- Lindsay is still in bed. And refusing -- sorry, "declining" -- to be filmed. Okay, Lindsay. I think an important step is becoming a person who doesn't need to be in bed until the mid-afternoon. Your life will DRASTICALLY improve if you are not incapable of rousing yourself.

## Mean Mom

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-4-1024x768.xml)

This might have had something to do with Lindsay's mood. The dates on this confirm that Jess and I were, in fact, staying at the Soho Grand WHILE Lilo was living and shooting there (we would have checked out the day before this all happened). HOW DID WE NOT KNOW. Anyway, I have a few words for Dina, and those are: GET A GRIP. Drinking and driving is dumb under any circumstance, but it's ESPECIALLY douchey and reckless when you have a daughter WHO HAS BEEN TO REHAB SIX TIMES and who might want to feel like her mother is capable of making responsible decisions so that she has both an example and a rock. So DON'T SUCK, DINA. You're grown. Be better. It's that simple.

## Mean Assistant

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-3-1024x768.xml)

The moral of this whole show is that his guy seems to be very good at his job, and will almost assuredly get a new one very quickly (I wonder if he was hired for this production, specifically so that there was SOMEONE competent running her affairs for the duration of the show, who could also give a weary bite now and then and isn't actually that dependent on her approval). Matt goes over the issues with Cash, their Realtor, and how they need to give him checks so that they can get the keys to her apartment, but he keeps jerking them around about that and providing the lease and stuff. She finally does sign the lease and the keys are still M.I.A. This guy bounces around between loser Realtor and shut-in actress and frustrated hotel management, and manages to do it all without stabbing anything. Give him a raise, Oprah.

## Mean Boss

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-8-1024x768-e1395124806307.xml)

The revelation here is interesting: The gist of it is, Lindsay doesn't have the money to rent her own place, or at least get set up in one. So the PRODUCTION COMPANY is paying for her security deposit and first month's rent and stuff, as an advance against her salary for the shoot. But they're not forking over the checks, and Lindsay thinks this is just the owner being a dick to her, promising her cash and then not paying her; her dad enables her by suggesting that this is all TOTALLY TRUE and then proceeds to play on his phone while she tries to figure this out.

The ACTUAL truth: a) the company thinks her Realtor SUCKS and won't give him the cash for the apartment until he produces the keys, because they think he'll take the money and run; and b) they don't think Lindsay is meeting her shooting obligations, because she keeps turning away the cameras, and ergo they won't pay HER EITHER because they're afraid SHE will take the money and run and they'll have no footage. She does thank the guy for explaining this to her, and tries to blame it on never being given a set schedule. Honey, YOUR LIFE is the schedule. Stop deferring responsibility.

## Mean Sober Coach

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-7-1024x768.xml)

Mr. Sober Coach explains to us that Lindsay's hot button is when she thinks people are promising one thing and then delivering another, or not delivering at all. He -- and she, later -- say that this is something her father did to her growing up, and it's why she's so easily rattled when situations get awkward. HOWEVER, what he does not say, and he should, is that every time she screws up, she tries to find a loophole so that she can claim it's a promise-broken/jerk-around scenario. There are times when she seems astonishingly self-aware about her triggers, usually when she is calmly discussing them after the fact. But when her emotions take over, she looks for that exit -- as in, the company isn't paying her because she's shirking the shoot, so she tries to blame that on the director and scheduling and communication, instead of the fact that she just didn't feel like it. Sober Coach, I hope you can keep her sober, but you also need to do more coaching.

## Mean Oops

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-9-1024x768.xml)

This is the face of a person who is talking to her boss and realizes that maybe she threw a hissy in error. The boss has to tell her to communicate with the director, and the director is like, "PLEASE, YES, DO THAT." LL claims she felt betrayed that he didn't want to give her a check because she hadn't filmed enough, and in interview says, "I feel like I was bribed." LINDSAY. The way most people's lives go is that they do the work first and then get paid for it. That's not bribery; it's EMPLOYMENT. Can her sober coach buy her a dictionary?

The boss repeats that he's nervous if they pay her in advance she's going to be a no-show. She says, in scene, "Until I fuck up, you can't ASSUME that I'm going to." I am pretty sure he can, actually, Linds. The crews seem so far like they've been respectful of her boundaries, not pushing in on her bedroom or anything even if she's refusing to come out, and so she's taking that and running with it. But the entire problem with Lilo's career right now is that she seems to think she has a reserve of good will she can tap into, but actually, that account is as dry as the ones at her bank seem to be.

## Mean Jacket

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-11-1024x768.xml)

And then Lindsay puts on a fringed leather jacket. Many of her problems could be solved if, instead of buying bad clothes, she left money in a savings account.

## Mean Hat

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-12-1024x768.xml)

Aw, her face here seems the most like The Lindsay We Remember that we've seen so far. In this scene, she's at a pizzeria with her father, and they agree to share a vodka pizza ,and he cracks, "Do we have to go to an AA meeting when we're done?" and she laughs that she has to anyway. That felt a little soft-scripted, in a way most of the rest of it does not.

Things of note:

1) He has two kids with other women, one of which was during his marriage to Dina, and Lindsay wants NO part of it. She refers to them "your other two f'ing random kids" and "these people he created" and won't hear about any of it, and he's like, "Cool, cool," in a way that is so permissive, it kills me. It's SO BLATANT that he and his past are HUGE issues for her, and letting her just pretend this stuff doesn't exist is a concern. I mean, I GUESS it's one thing at a time, maybe, perhaps?

2) Her brother wants a car. Dad told him he could have one, but now he's leasing Ali an apartment (GET JOBS CHILDREN), so Linds feels like she has to step up and help because her bro "deserves it." Except the car he's asking for? IS $48,000\. No kid who didn't work for a $48,000 car "deserves" one. MAYBE he deserves a used Honda Civic, y'all. Look into it.

## Mean Pizza

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-13-1024x768.xml)

It's worth noting that I want to eat that pizza.

## Mean Gavin

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-16-1024x768.xml)

NOT GAVIN!!!!! Except, I have never even heard of this person. Apparently he is Bad News from the olden days, and Michael Lohan is upset that she's going to dinner with him, and Lindsay is annoyed that he's singling out friends of hers by name on this show -- fair enough, I guess, although this guy made the papers so that ship has sailed for him methinks -- and he contends it's because he's worried that they aren't good for her, and she counters with, "YOU weren't good for me for a long time." ZING.

## Mean Shirt

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-17-1024x768.xml)

While wearing a shirt I actually like but which didn't photograph well, Lindsay tells us -- with moist eyes -- that she's mad her father is telling her who to see, because her friends don't bring their messy shit around her and she knows better now. I think they're both right. If I were her parent, I would be EXTREMELY concerned about her hanging out with people from her old lifestyle so soon after rehab, but she DOES also have to be able to be around people who don't live by the same code she does and not fall apart. So her point is well taken too. Maybe her sober coach should be involved here. I'M JUST SAYING.

## Mean Dad

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-15-1024x768.xml)

This is the face of a girl who is really annoyed that her Dad just asked about her boyfriend and is telling everyone his first name and that he's a football player. She's looking at the cameras as if to say, "He's doing this for your benefit," and she does not bite and does not discuss him. Which I think is COMPLETELY fair, actually; that guy didn't ask to be part of the show. If he had, he'd be on it. Things veer into feeling semi-scripted again, in the sense that the dad feels like he's steering the conversation all over the place and she clearly thinks it's weird and annoying.

Michael's other big lesson for us is that when you get divorced, you shouldn't be a douchenozzle to/about your ex in front of your kids, or drag them into the fray, because it jacks with their heads. It is depressing that he thinks anyone needs to be told this, but sadly, I suspect a lot of people do. He blames Lindsay's issues on the ugly divorce and feels bad about it. There is something incredibly icky about this man -- you get the sense that he knows exactly what to say, and yet he isn't truly throwing himself behind the words. But at least he's saying them, which is more than I've heard Dina do.

## Mean Wallpaper

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-18-1024x768.xml)

You need to look at this wallpaper. When I saw that I actually laughed and clapped, because apparently the suites at the Soho Grand have the exact same pseudo-hieroglyph wallpaper in the bathrooms as the regular rooms do. It's like seeing a house you rent for the summers on TV. I'm like, "Hello, weird friend."

Speaking of weird: a tank top that says "BABYGIRL" underneath a misshapen Hanes tee with a hole in it. She's just wearing it to work out, but still. Just throw on ONE shirt and throw OUT the white one so that it's one less thing Matt has to move into a new hotel room. The effort that the layering requires would be better spent on, I don't know, self-reflection and buttering muffins and things.

The point of this scene was that the crew asks her gingerly about how Dina is, post-DUI, and Linds basically just says she's "staying positive" and is embarrassed and is dealing with it. "I've been there," she shrugs. "It's not a fun place to be." I want to say there's an undercurrent of Lilo being like, "CAN YOU F'ING BELIEVE THAT SHIT," but I might be projecting.

## Mean Meditation

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-20-1024x768.xml)

In addition to a sober coach, Lindsay now has a life coach. We get some boring segments wherein she works out with Lindsay and plays word association games and makes her pick cards with a word on it so they can talk about working on it or being confident in it (things like PURITY and RESPONSIBILITY) and basically seems nice but also like hanging out with Lindsay Lohan 24/7 is mostly an attempt to build her business, which she appears to be running out of a hotel room. I don't begrudge her that -- for all I know, she's from, like, Milwaukee, or something, and doesn't have anywhere else to live in New York -- but... listen, if it's another Tough Love person in her life, great, but I don't really need to see them boxing anymore. Watching other people work out is kind of boring, even on "The Biggest Loser," which usually involves vomit.

## Mean Lighting

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-21-1024x768.xml)

Lindsay is not going to be happy with how this shot looks. It's like they tried to paint her to cover that she's tired, and instead you just get an exhausted-looking clown.

## Mean Paps

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-22-1024x768.xml)

One thing I like about this is that the crew isn't afraid to ask the paparazzi for interviews. One guy talks about how he started covering Lindsay in 2002 when she was "sweet" and "untainted," and can you imagine chasing a girl with your camera for TWELVE YEARS? He also says, of celebrities, "They are their own worst enemies. They keep failing. And every time they fail, there's a new reason to chase them." Isn't THAT a chilling thing to hear? That is a fantastic bite. Well done, crew.

## Mean Chase

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-23-1024x768.xml)

LiLo's driver Steven realizes there is a car tailing them; the ensuing scene is quite interesting, because it's about them trying to lose the guy -- and driving semi-irresponsibly while also joking about being tempted to plow over the paps on bikes -- and it ends with Matt hailing a cab, and using it to block the street (and thus the chase car) until Lindsay's car gets away. "This is super annoying, but... it's a thing you gotta do," he says, looking like he feels dead inside. Call Prince, Matt. He will revive you.

## Mean Lunch

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-25-1024x768.xml)

Lilo and Life Coach talk about the word of the day: Reliability. Lindsay insists she is EXTREMELY reliable and trustworthy -- seriously, based on what is coming, the producers must be SO GRATEFUL for the obliviousness of this statement -- and talks about how promises broken are an issue for her because her dad Michael never had any follow-through and so she feels like it's her responsibility to step in and get it done for her siblings when her father fails. Life Coach asks if that's her choice or her family puts her in that position, and Lindsay says only, "I've always been the Adult Child." Which to ME suggests that her parents are the worst and she was the meal ticket, so they looked to her to pay for everything.

She also talks about her pattern of self-sabotage: Things will be good for a while and then she'll trip up, and she'll know she's making the wrong decision but she'll do it anyway. She attributes this to her father's pattern of behaving well at home for three to six months, then disappearing for a night or a week or so, and that her own habit of mirroring this is something she's only just figured out. The thing is, she IS making some correct psychological observations. But as she just said, KNOWING you're jacked up is not the same thing as CORRECTING being jacked up; too often people use it as an excuse to misbehave because they think self-awareness makes it forgivable, or at least excusable.

## Mean Deal

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-26-1024x768.xml)

This was ALSO interesting: Lilo wanted to go outside and smoke, but didn't want the paps to take her photo. So she asks them to stay cool for a second while she smokes in the car -- "If you're not respectful then I won't be cool," she tells them, and they are, and so she is -- and while she is doing that, Matt strikes a deal: He'll let the paps get a nice shot of her smiling, coming out of the car, if it means they'll leave her alone the rest of the day. They do; one of them grins that she's just one celebrity and New York is crawling with them, so "let's go find all the other ones." The bites they get from the paps are so excellent.

And of course, Lindsay is in these STUPID bootaloons (boots + pantaloons) that I believe she has worn [here](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/freaky-fug-friday-4-04-2013/) and [here](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fugs-and-fabs-of-another-jingle-ball-12-2013/) as well, and girl, JUST BUY LEATHER PANTS. I know those extra couple inches of fabric are pricey, but it's SO worth the money not to look like you're wearing really pinchy chaps.

## Mean Wardrobe

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-27-1024x768.xml)

And then Linds FINALLY gets into her own place, and it's clear she has pinned SO MUCH of her future success at sobriety to having her own apartment and not living in a hotel, which breaks my heart a little because I think the apartment is going to be the band-aid that doesn't fix the wound, but just covers it for a while, and when it doesn't prove to be the magic fix she's going to flip her shit again. AND it occurs to me that this might be the first she she has ever HAD her own place, because remember when she ran up that monster bill at the Chateau Marmont? No wonder she's messed up. The issue is how she's going to afford this once the production stops bankrolling her (season two?).

Anyway, I like her orange bag, but the rest of her outfit is CATASTROPHIC. She needs a freaking Wardrobe Coach on her team roster.

## Mean Pants

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-28-1024x768.xml)

I mean, WHAT. Tying the shirt up that high, with saggy boyfriend jeans? No. The booties? Yes, although you can't see them that well here; they're super hot stilettos and I love them. But NONE OF THE REST OF THIS bespeaks a person who is making good decisions. And the broker dude is SUPER smug about getting this done, and there's an awesome moment where he tries to be all fist-bumpy with Assistant Matt and Matt barely acknowledges him and you can tell he wants to punch this sleazehole in...well, his sleazehole.

## Mean Appliance

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-30-1024x768.xml)

There is a moment where Lindsay picks at this like she has NO IDEA what it is or how to use it. It's a kitchen, child. Get friendly with it. Let The Food Network be your salvation.

## Mean Closet

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-31-1024x768.xml)

I couldn't get a non-blurry shot of this: It's her closet. Look at it. Seems okay, right, for most mortals? Except that there is NO WAY the MOUNTAINS OF CRAP she's been toting with her in her hotel rooms is going to fit in that tiny-ass thing. I hope she has another floor she can use.

Next week: Oprah has to come over for a talking-to, and Linds cries. DRAMA. Let's hope for some hugging and learning. Emphasis on learning.

[Fug the Show: Recap of "Lindsay" on OWN, season 1, episode 2The curious thing about this show is, you feel like it SHOULD be tawdry, but it isn't. It's very well-made, very classy and nonjudgmental; it lets the footage and the people do the talking and you can conclude what you want. And although you feel awkward that Lindsay Lohan is clearly struggling through some issues, there is something terribly illustrative about the way she's doing it (and honest about the way she discusses it), in a way that I think is USEFUL for people. She is a girl who I think is actually trying but often can't get out of her own emotional and professional way, because she's all jangled nerves and trust issues in addition to her substance problems. And parents who have kids in the industry could take this as an extreme cautionary tale of the value of minding your own behavior as well as your child's. It's just... it is a much, much better show than it has a right to be, and when I watch it, I think to myself, "Maybe seeing herself this way will be the final kick she needs to do more than just identify her issues, but actually hear them and see them. And stop them."![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lindsays1ep2-1-1024x768.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-lindsay-recap-season-1-episode-2-03-2014/)