Kenny's Eyepatch
First of all, Ken Cosgrove's eyepatch has ALWAYS been my favorite accessory on this show. Because I love Ken (and his secret novels and his general niceness) and EVERYONE loves an eyepatch. So it is my distinct pleasure to give Ken the lead-off spot this week, not merely because he sported the show's most majestic accessory, but also because he finally got something to do and that something was a doozy. In short: McCann had Sterling Cooper (what the hell is the agency even named right now?) fire Ken. Ken was going to quit anyway, after a set-to with his wife, who is all fired up about him Following His Dream. BUT....
Roger Sterling's Sidekick
LOOK WHO COMES IN TO AXE HIM. Dan Scott, you charming bastard. Words cannot describe how delighted I was to see Brother-Murderer, Accidental Grave-Burner, Man Whose Heart Was Eaten By a Dog DAN FREAKING SCOTT on Mad Men. Round of delicious applause. ANYWAY -- and I know I said I wasn't really going to recap this, but it was so delicious -- Ken's reaction to being fired (HE GAVE AN EYE AT THIS JOB LITERALLY) was to turn around and have his father-in-law, Leland Palmer of Dow Chemical, get him a job at Dow. So now he doesn't work AT Sterling Cooper. He's a client. And, he tells Pete, he's VERY hard to please.
I cackled out loud at this reveal. Pete looked so gobsmacked. REVENGE!
Pete's Big Fat Wide Tie
Just look at his hideous tie and his terrible comb-over and his chagrined expression! I love you, you weasel Pete Campbell, and you deserved this, especially given that when Ken came in to hand over all his accounts to you, you started complaining that all the millions of dollars you earned when McCann acquired Sterling Cooper actually aren't pouring in THAT quickly, and in order to save money on taxes, you're going to have to buy an apartment building, and then you're going to have to be, of all things, a landlord.
This seems as good of a place as any to note that I think the divide between the people who made out in the acquisition (Joan and Pete, in particular) and those who did not (Ken, and Peggy) is an interesting way of introducing more conflict to these relationships. It CERTAINLY -- as we will see in the next few slides -- is impacting the Joan and Peggy relationship, which has always been a complicated one, anyway. Also, seriously, this was the worst tie in an episode full of bad ones.
Joan and Peggy
Speaking of Joanie, she looks FANTASTIC this episode -- her hair is SIMPLY ENORMOUS -- even if she does have a tough go of it. Here, she and Peggy are in a meeting with the Topaz Pantyhose Dudes because L'Eggs is, as Joan tells Don later, "pushing them out of the bottom of the market." This leads to a meeting with McCann in an attempt to get McCann to get Macy's to let Topaz be its house brand, and, more importantly, a lesson in How Sexism Is Really Pervasive In the Workforce.
Obviously, just as important is the news that both of these woman are nailing Workwear here. I read in People this week an interview with Elisabeth Moss, wherein she notes that the whole cast of Mad Men has been avoiding retro looks for years, because they feel like they'll look to much like their characters. And here I'd like to extend a plea to Christina Hendricks to stop worrying about that because JOAN LOOKS SO GOOD. Her necklace layering game is on point.
These Three Jackwagons and Their Smug F$%ing Faces
The aforementioned meeting with McCann is a shitshow. These three doucheboxes spend the entire time not taking either Joan nor Peggy -- who comport themselves with utmost professionalism -- seriously, preferring instead to make all kinds of sexist comments, like telling Joan she ought to work in bras and making any number of TERRIBLE comments about L'Eggs ("they're spreading all over the country? Sounds good to me") and how often women in said pantyhose can pull them down. They are AWFUL and if I had been magically transported back in time and into the meeting, I would have leapt across the table and cracked their smug, dipshit heads together. It's worth noting that all of THEIR ties -- LIKE THEIR ATTITUDES -- are stuck in the early 60s.
Peggy's Bow Tie
Peggy sort of takes the whole thing in stride. It's certainly not a coincidence that she's sporting the prototype for the 80s Business Lady Bow Tie for her Meaningful Elevator Conversation directly afterward with Joan, in which she basically tells Joan that she has to expect people not to take her seriously, given how splashy she always looks (and throws in a dig about how Joan's also MAD RICH, as I mentioned) and Joan snips back that Peggy's right: She DOESN'T look like Joan and she never will, combating Peggy's bullshit with a little uncool mean girling of her own. It's a VERY GOOD scene, one of the best of the episode -- I like it when both characters get to be a little bit in the wrong -- and it was really beautifully acted. All that aside: (a) everything interesting happens in the elevator in this show (b) not for nothing, but Joan's, "I want to burn the place down" reaction (after Peggy sort of ignores everything and just asks her if she wants to go get lunch) surely inspired a thousand gifs. WE HAVE ALL WANTED TO BURN THIS PLACE DOWN.
Joan's Hatboxes
Joan then goes and shops her pain away -- up to and including being imperious to the salesgirl, who remembers that she used to work there and suggests that she could probably still use her employee discount. I wish I'd gotten a closer grab of this dress she is wearing, because it is AMAZING -- a feathered hem! -- and I love it. But I also really loved the pile of bags and hat boxes in the corner. First of all, I wish we all had more reasons for a hatbox. Second, I hope Joan doesn't blow all her cash. Maybe talk to Pete about diversifying?
Joan's Glasses
And lo and behold later in the episode, SHE TOO is wearing a Professional Lady Bow Tie Blouse (and her glasses), the better to tell her secretary to tell McCann that NO, she ISN'T in for their call. SHE is in A MEETING. This is a full-on "take me seriously" outfit and it will be interesting to see if that sticks.
Peggy's Cannelloni
Peggy had a rather better week, going on a real barn-burner of a date with Brian Kakow (who gets veal when he ordered lasagne, and with whom Peggy switches meals after he tells her that he heard she was "funny...and fearless"). I LOVED these scenes, and not only because Brian Krakow (that was this actor's character on My So-Called Life and so he shall be to me until at least...next week) actually seemed legitimately interested in and not patronizing about Peggy's job. It's honestly a relief sometimes to see someone on this show actually having a good time.
Brian Krakow's Tongue
I also enjoyed Krakow's crazy plaid sportscoat, and how he and Pegs basically DRUNKENLY ATE EACH OTHER'S FACES OFF. Is it so wrong that I really REALLY want this to work out for Peggy? You guys, she's had TERRIBLE luck with men. SOMEONE GAVE HER HIS NIPPLE IN A BOX.
Peggy's Half-Off Jacket
And look how happy she looks! I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY PEGGY. (Additionally, I feel like her hair finally looks cute. Peggy has had some truly wretched hair.)
Peggy's Hungover Vest
The next day, of course, she's wearing her Sensible Vest of Hungover Shame and worrying that she made a fool out of herself the night before. Peggy, keep the faith.
Stan's Groovy Ascot
But Stan -- how I love you, Stan! -- is DELIGHTED that Peggy had a great date and is totally convinced that everything is going to be fine. Let us all just take a long, long moment to enjoy Stan's majestic hair and beard and his jeans and what I believe is an ASCOT. Stan is my favorite. I have longed for him and Peggy to bang, but now I think it might be better if they're just really awesome friends.
Meredith's Perky Bow
I also love Don's perky, baby-voiced secretary, Meredith, who seems like a total ditz but who is actually (it seems) pretty dang good at her job. She's more than just a very very girly and perky bow on the top of her head! Do not make assumptions based on appearances! All the time, anyway.
Ted's TERRIBLE MUSTACHE OMG
Ted doesn't have much to do this week -- can we talk about how much I hope Peggy's new relationship is a KNIFE TO HIS HEART? -- but isn't modeling that AWFUL FACE-CATERPILLAR ENOUGH? It's so bad it draws attention away from his horrible double-breasted brown suit jacket. I feel justified in saying that Ted has never looked worse.
Don Draper's Ladykilling Smirk
And then. Finally. This guy. There is a reason Matthew Weiner opened this season with this face.
Don's Bow Tie
Divorced (or in the process) from Megan, Draper is back on the prowl, squiring around this pretty face (who is wearing, yes, a jumpsuit) and nailing an air hostess on top of a wine stain in his marital bedroom. Olivia Pope would be APPALLED.
Roger Sterling's Colonel Sanders Mustache
Speaking of mustaches. Don's wingman and our Lord of Perpetual Silver Foxiness looks way less foxy in this facial hair configuration. Not your best look, Sterling. Although the ladies you're with don't seem to mind. (It helps that he dropped a hundred dollar bill to pay for $11 worth of diner food.)
Rachel Menken's Fur from The Afterlife
While we're on the topic of Don, you should know that he is seeing dead people -- namely, he dreams about Rachel Menken showing up for a fur coat casting he's doing (surely there is significance that it's fur, given that he met Betty at a casting for a fur coat model) and has Meredith call her to set up a meeting, on the pretext of having Menken's perhaps take up Topaz as their In house Pantyhose Powerhouse. And Meredith has to come back and tell him that Rachel can't come to lunch because she just died.
Don's Cake
Don takes cake to Rachel's apartment, where the family is sitting shiva, and her sister is very, "OH I know who YOU are," and although she's not out-right mean to Don (she makes sure he knows that Rachel ended up with everything she ever wanted. Before dying too young of leukemia), it's quite clear that she's Not a Fan. Which...nor would she be. I have to say, I thought Jon Hamm was SO good and subtle in this scene. He didn't say many lines, but his face spoke volumes -- regret, loss, shame, sadness. It was really stellar. This is your last shot for that Emmy, Hamm. Pull out all the stops. Maybe bring EVERYONE cake.
Elizabeth Reaser's Bangs
Also, this happened. By "this" I mean Elizabeth Reaser's diner waitress bangs...
Don and Elizabeth Reeser's Romantic Garbage
...and Don banging a diner waitress by the garbage cans. This scene was weird and interesting. When they come back in from the garbage bang, she basically tells him, "you got your $100 worth," not knowing, of course, that it was Roger who left her the benjamin in the first place. Second of all, the way this scene played out to me, I don't think Don really thought she was going to FULLY GO THERE, but once she did, he obviously went along with it -- not that either of them seemed to have a very good time -- because that's what Don Draper does. He makes ill-advised sexual choices, often in questionable locales. And I think she thought she was giving him what he expected, but I don't think he DID expect this, at least, not in this way. For one thing, Draper generally doesn't have to pay for sex. Add into this the fact that, earlier in the episode, at this self-same diner, Don tells Roger and their good-time girls a story about his mother (the prostitute), only to return there later looking to flirt with a brainy brunette (his type in certain cases) and find her assuming the role of prostitute. Lots and LOTS of layers there to unpack...which I invite you to do in the comments. MAD MEN!