Scarfville
This photo encapsulates Juliette's feelings for most of this episode: clenchy, irritated, and wanting to scream. Her scarf is really trying. Also, I thought that was a corsage for a second, but it's just some fresh plants on her private jet. Come on, United Airlines, whither the shrubberies?
Goofville
Scarlett gets invited on-stage to sing with the Zac Brown Band, and you can barely hear her, but... she's there. I feel like it'd be smarter of Rayna and Company to get her on one of these bands' actual singles, or convince them to release the live version of the song with Scarlett on iTunes, figuring the publicity would be enough and Zac Brown Band (or whoever) could keep the proceeds. But no (and why am I trying to brainstorm her career moves like she's a real person?). Instead she just swans out there in a petticoat and a belly shirt and BARE FEET YOU GUYS and sings into a microphone that's been turned down, although that's not an actual plot point; it's just something weird I noticed. SPOILER: This plot does not end with her battling a crippling foot fungus. But it should.
Phoneville
Rayna is there. By which I mean, her manager holds up his phone for her. I was going to knock this, but Rayna DOES have a struggling label to run and no artists on it because she can't make decisions, and she is at least giving Scarlett her manager for free (presumably). And that is a good deal: He has not upgraded to iOS7 yet and to me that says he's the best manager of all.
Dumpsville
Juliette finds out that a bunch of her tour dates are being cancelled, because America hates her and thinks she's a godless floozy. This show has a dim view of America. In this day and age, wouldn't people be sympathetic to a person whose mother died of an overdose, and who got taunted about her mother, and who was then the victim of misinformation? America LOVES sad people.
Boyfriendville
So, I guess I was completely wrong in my impression that she and Luke Wheeler broke up. I really thought that when she left Edgehill and stopped promoting their duet, he acted like he was done with her. But suddenly, no, they're still dating and mushy, and Rayna still has good hair and a solid collection of blouses.
Manicville
Scarlett is exhausted. She's been doing radio tours and singing with Zac Brown sometimes and misses her own bed and accidentally says the wrong town name and whatnot. She complains a lot to Bucky, and he's like, "That's too bad, we'll try and get you an extra five minutes here and there," not unsympathetically, but also kind of like, "This is the job, kid." However, I will send up a thousand hallelujahs that this show has figured out her hair. If she won't consider a trim, then at least THANK GOD they've got the color and the front right. and they're not braiding it into the kind of ropes she could sling out a window and use to escape.
Flattsville
Gunnar bumps into a dude from Rascal Flatts and writes a song with him really fast, blowing off Zoey -- he's supposed to meet her Church friends -- for the third time in a row. I'm sure Mr. Rascal Flatts is very nice, also, but Gunnar might be advised not to just wander back to random hotel rooms with people to write songs, because aren't there contracts and things that are required to protect his intellectual property? This show makes it look like Nashville as a city is FULL of megastars wandering around office buildings and hotels with a spare three hours to go up and write a song real fast with some rando.
Bossville
Maria Menounos and Mario Lopez tell us all that the world hates Juliette for breaking up Charlivia and throwing shade at God. Meanwhile, God is totally throwing shade on the idea that anyone in the actual world cared about Charlivia in the first place AND won some money in Heaven's Relationship Death Pool on that one, but shh, you didn't hear that from me. So Oliver Hudson comes over, and in a scene staged to make her seem as small as possible while her big bad boss professionally menaces her, he tells her that she'd better apologize and grovel and smooch some global religious booty or else her career will be in the toilet because she's basically just an average talent who got lucky. He is awful. Also, this storyline, while not bad in theory, feels off because Miley Cyrus infuriated all KINDS of people last year and she's never been more popular nor successful and nobody is canceling her. So I think the show is overstating how much people would actually care about Juliette's supposed infractions.
Drunkville
Juliette, however, doesn't know about Miley Cyrus, so she gets super hammered and passes out in her room. Nobody finds her until Avery drops by to check on her, and her security guard bursts into the room. Juliette and her disturbingly flesh-colored underwear immediately vomit loudly in the bathroom. I wish someone would counsel her about this behavior, given that she's the daughter of a dead addict, but I suppose Avery will pick his battles here and his first one will be: pants.
Coupleville
Rayna needs a single, so she has the idea that she should write with Deacon, because he's totally awesome and everything without him is the worst (my words). And Deacon got offered a mediocre solo record deal, so he decides that a hit single with Rayna Jaymes might give him extra mojo to attract a better deal. The two of them bang out a really good song and then bang, period. SIGH. No they don't. But they eye-bang a little, maybe. I don't think you can have the history they do and not at least visit eye-second-base every so often.
Fightville
Avery encourages Zoey to tell Gunnar that she's upset he bails on her friends, but when she does, he accuses her of not understanding and notes that "even Scarlett" would get it. Zoey does not appreciate being compared to someone who doesn't even use the ends of words with regularity, and stomps out, leaving Gunnar to attend a Big Fancy Party all by himself.
Meganville
Deacon's girlfriend Megan gives Teddy two or three scenes in this episode, because she's representing the family of the man who shot Peggy and then killed himself. They think he DIDN'T kill himself and was put up to the job -- but he still DID IT, guys -- and Teddy is enraged. ENRAGED. HOW DARE SHE BE A FANCY LADY LAWYER.
Partyville
Luke and Rayna throw a party for their single hitting No. 1 -- the single that Gunnar co-wrote, and so this party is kind of in his honor. Which is nice. Do we think Rayna might actually remember who he is now? OR SIGN HIM TO HER LABEL THAT DESPERATELY NEEDS TALENTED MUSICIANS, AND MAYBE ALSO MUSICIANS WHO CAN WORK WITH HER REALLY NEEDY AND MISERABLE EXISTING MUSICIAN? Not that they can work together right now anyway, I guess, but still. You feel me.
Luke also wants to go public with Rayna, and after much hesitation, she later -- privately -- agrees that she's willing and that he should meet her daughters. So get ready for a pap storm, and I don't mean the kind at the gyno.
DISGUISEVILLE!
Wait a moment! Who is this brunette with Juliette Barnes' voice but a totally unrecognizable face on account of her giant glasses that don't actually hide her face? Why, it's a STRANGER, of course! It's not Juliette Barnes busking with her friend Avery to remind her that She Has Talent and It's About The Music. It's just a person you've never heard before even though you've totally heard her before. It's a nice idea on Avery's part; I am sad we missed the scene where Juliette dug out the wig from the trunk in her room where she keeps all her costumes for Carnal Role-Play.
Poutville
Scarlett is not happy. She complained repeatedly to Bucky about having to attend this party for Gunnar AND FOR HER BOSS ALSO because she is a sad clown, and then when Gunnar came up and apologized and asked if they can still be friends and work together, she spat nails up his nose. And THEN she went and cried in the bathroom, and when Rayna found her, she hissed at Rayna that unlike SOME PEOPLE AHEM AHEM, Scarlett doesn't WANT dysfunctional working relationships with her exes AND THEN STORMS OUT. Scarlett's coping skills are right on par with Juliette's ability to disguise herself. And her sense of when to needle her famous recording-artist boss about her personal life, while also criticizing her for how she handles it with regard to work, needs some tweaking because: never, girl. I know Deacon's your uncle but this is not the time and he would agree.
Churchville
Gunnar bumps into Mr. Rascal Flatts at the party, who asks where his lady is and then tells Gunnar sternly to Go Make It Right because none of this is worth it without your lobster at your side. So Gunnar finds her and they make up and then he has to meet her friends, even though they are not going to last the season.
Evilville
Teddy figures out, from something Megan said, that the dude who shot him had been laid off from an off-the-books subsidiary of Powers Boothe's company. So like an idiot, he confronts the Chief Henchman about it, who of course issues veiled threats and denials. Teddy then does what he should've all along, and marches to Megan's office and tells her the scoop and that he thinks Powers Boothe is the one who tried to unplug Teddy's power booth.
Contractville
Megan is surprised and thrilled that Deacon is going to take his shitty record deal. Because he decided he can make it work, and he and Rayna agreed that maybe they shouldn't make a habit of working together because it could lead them down familiar paths. I DISAGREE. GO DOWN THOSE PATHS. THOSE PATHS LEAD TO SEX. Although Megan seems incredibly cool and well-adjusted, and I like her. Deacon's other girlfriend was nice, too. And she didn't last. Ergo Megan probably ALSO will not make it. Maybe Powers Boothe will go after HER power booth next. Oh, God, Deacon is not going to handle that well.
Decisionville
And finally, Scarlett apologizes to Rayna, and Rayna -- wearing ANOTHER good shirt, because she is the master of online blouse shopping -- generously sits her down and forgives her and gives it to her straight: To keep performing, Scarlett has to love it more than she hates being tired, and sleeping on the road, and complaining and whining and looking wounded (my words), and being forced to go to parties with people she doesn't want to see, and having to pretend life is good. But because Scarlett looks better than she has in weeks in that dress, we know that she is going to decide to STAY THE COURSE because she DOES love it, thanks to Zac Brown Band. Wait until she finds out nobody could hear her singing.
Prayerville
And Juliette goes to church to think, and pray, and then shows up at Avery's and tells him that she has made up her mind and she needs him to write a song with her. Presumably we will hear this next time. I hope it's called, "God Thinks You're All Being Douchebags."