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# Fug the Show: Nashville recap, season 1, episode 7
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-nashville-episode-7/
- Published: 2012-12-05T17:00:30.000Z
- Updated: 2014-02-17T03:31:45.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:31

## Tebow and Hayden

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1367.xml)

So, this happened. Apparently when he asked her out/asked her in (their cheesy words, not mine), it went really well, and now he's mashing his nose up in her pores.

## Oh come on now

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1369.xml)

This is terrible, and no, I'm not talking about the fact that she's getting the Jessica Simpson treatment (everyone is claiming it's her fault that Tebow is not playing well, even though the show already established that he was doing poorly before they hooked up), although that sucks for her. But I'm referring to the fact that this faked tabloid page misspells Kryptonite in its headline. That is not something you give the reverse-Kardashian treatment to just for kicky alliteration. You do not mess with Superman's nemesis.

## Lucky

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1372.png)

Lucky Spencer's ladystick already scored the bang a gig at Tequila Cowboy, and Lucky is thrilled, yet picturesquely morose about doing all this without a girlfriend who talks so fast you can only understand eighty percent of what she's saying. His manager Cougar Town essentially tells him to suck it up. Was his band always eponymous, or are we headed to a place where Cougar Town phases out the rest of the band because He's The Real Star? Has that storyline EVER ended well, in its many incarnations?

## Hayden

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1375.png)

Hayden, as a Big Freaking Deal, is predictably unamused that the label head does not want her closing their big anniversary show alone. Because she is a sticky-fingered lass with a crazy mother, they want her on-stage with a stabilizing influence. Regrettably, said stabilizing influence will not stop her from wearing gynecological sequins, but I'm getting ahead of myself. You can probably guess who her duet partner is supposed to be.

## Tami

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1396.png)

BINGO. Cookies for all. Smarmy Label Honcho cons Tami into it by telling her that if she says no, he'll release a Greatest Hits album against her wishes. I love the idea that "Greatest Hits" is the worst possible outcome for Tami. She's not entirely wrong; it's kind of like how insane it is when celebrities who are under 35 put out a memoir without having undergone personal trauma worthy of several *People* covers.

## Coleman

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1378.png)

"Hey, Teddy? I'm just making sure I have plenty of bars in all of Nashville's most dramatic nighttime backdrops, and also, I'm going to release innocent photos that LOOK guilty of you and Peggy hugging, unless you withdraw from the race. Nighty night! Let's touch base tomorrow on whether this stadium provides sufficiently flattering backlight."

## Scarlett

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1382.png)

Apparently, Scarlett has writer's block, because she is a lonesome dove now. Gunnar sidles over and suggests that she pour her feelings into verse, just like, oh, every other "poem" she's ever written, all of which she claims were penned because she and Lucky had huge ups and downs. But Scarlett can't, or at least, I assume that's what she said; she uttered it in 3 pt font while she was storming away and staring at the floor.

## Powers Boothe

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1387.png)

Teddy gives Powers the skinny on Coleman's blackmail, and Powers decides that Coleman is going to release the pictures no matter what they do. So he tells Teddy to get ahead of it with everyone -- first, by warning Peggy and Tami -- and then goes over and monologues to the wall about power and consequences and basically everything your basic Mr. Burns would say to himself.

## Powers Boothe

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1449.png)

Powers Boothe also has some evil scheme to make Coleman's drug charges -- from the pills pulled out of his glove box -- stick, or at least, force him to appear before a judge. Teddy seems horrified, but like at a diner on a hot day, once you slide into the Boothe you can't get out.

## Hayden and Deacon

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1398.png)

Hayden and Deacon pair up to deliver an audition piece for an experimental theater class. Or, they talk about how nervous she is to sing in this sainted Nashville temple of music, and her discomfort about doing so with Tami. Whichever one you like better.

## Hailey and Scarlett

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1402.png)

Gunnar's doomed girlfriend storms up to Scarlett and basically tells her to take off her knockoff Uggs and petticoats and vests and put on some clothes that DON'T look like she borrowed them from Vanessa Hudgens, and get over Lucky by "getting under someone else." This actress delivers that triteness as if she's hoping you won't notice she had to say it.

## Scarlett and Hailey

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1409.xml)

So, out comes a modicum of cleavage -- well, actually, more than a modicum. That's a decent amount, especially for Laura Ingalls up there. And you can pretty much imagine where THIS is going.

## Scarlett

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1423.png)

The lady goes up on-stage and belts out "Ring of Fire" to mad acclaim (although frankly... look, I love her slow, smoky stuff with Gunnar, and I wish they sang us out of every episode, but this match of song to singer was awful).

## Gunnar

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1422.png)

The lady's brassy performance and visible chest tickle Gunnar to the point where even his date can sense the girlish sound waves emanating from his privates.

## Scarlett

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1411.xml)

And finally, the girl hooks a fish, who makes the mistake of trying to kiss her while Gunnar is watching. So he goes over and clocks the guy in the face, and essentially calls Scarlett loose (don't worry, they make up later), and she says, "Never mddd thsss stpd I shhhhntve cm," and storms out crying.

## Scarlett and Lucky

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1442.png)

Scarlett charges right over to Lucky's house and tells him she misses him, RIGHT as Cougar Town is dressing herself after getting her road paved. Scarlett is so furious that, you guessed it, she's cured her writer's block. Dear Lucky: Let me know the next time you and Cougar Town are going to discuss roadworks, because I get stuck too sometimes.

## Hayden

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1403.png)

Hayden here, at the set-list meeting with Tami and Deacon and Liam (who I guess is one of Tami's musicians now?), is wearing the nicer version of what Tami is about to drop on us.

## Tami and Liam

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1404.png)

I really hate this. It's total Brothel Boobs. Are we supposed to think now that she's doing whiskey shots with this freewheeling hipster, Tami has become more daring? Or is the network just interested in sexing up Connie Britton? Regardless, I do know one thing: That dude plays a junkie on *Treme* (I only watched the first season, though, so maybe he's all fixed now), and it was indelible enough for me that I keep being afraid he's going to offer Deacon some sweet yam-yam. Do not yam up my Deacon, fool.

## Teddy

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1414.png)

So, Teddy goes out to HIS Nashville Landmark Of Choice For Tough Phone Conversations and calls Peggy, telling her that she needs to alert her traveling husband to the photos -- and their meaninglessness -- and that Coleman is going to release them. She gives a sigh that totally says, "But we DID sleep together... IN MY MIND, every five minutes for the last fifteen years." Poor Peggy. She did get upped to series regular in the event that this show goes another season, so methinks she might get a taste of the teddy bear's picnic eventually.

## Tami

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1427.png)

Things are not going well at Chez Divas. First, Tami is still wearing that shirt, and thus still looks like a trashy lamp. Second, she and Hayden bicker so furiously that they can't agree on a song to sing together, and Hayden basically calls her old and irrelevant and Tami calls her insignificant and small and a criminal, and Hayden lets the lip quiver and leaves. And Deacon tsks Tami as if she is the only one who was rude. She MIGHT have been ruder, but man, Hayden is a brat to her. TEAM TAMI.

## House

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1429.png)

I included this as part of the ongoing WTF Is With This House debate. You can see Tim Tebow striding from his car to the front door, which is here, next to the pool. So either the pool is in the front yard, as I concluded before, or the front door is in the backyard. Either way, this is a very strange house.

## Hayden and Tebow

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1433.xml)

Not so strange: A depressed and belittled Hayden makes a booty call. But once she gets Tat Tebow naked, he tells her that they're going too fast and he doesn't believe in casual sex. Which is fine, but maybe he could have told her that before she booty-called him. What did he think she wanted to do, watch a movie? Make milkshakes? Girl, please.

## Tebow

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1437.png)

Hayden feels twice rejected here -- not sure what hurts her more: Stopping her raging libido, or him calling this casual -- and so she kicks Tebow and his lovely muscles out of her weird, weird home, where they were about to have sex with the lights on and the windows uncovered.

## Tami and Hayden

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1450.png)

So, rather awesomely, Tami shows up at Hayden's right after Tebow leaves, totally unaware that just by walking up to the front door or rolling up the driveway, she almost witnessed a porno. (Seriously, where is Awesome Bo? This house seems like a TERRIBLE IDEA, security-wise.) And Tami says that if they can't agree on how to bring the house down with a song that already exists, they might as well write one themselves. So they stay up all night and do just that. Hayden asks if it's about Deacon. Tami sighs and says maybe; Hayden says for her it's about "all of them," and there's a moment of understanding that I was afraid would rush us to total mutual respect, but fortunately, we're not there yet.

## Wyclef

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1453.xml)

Wyclef pops by to play a producer whom Cougar Town wants to meet Lucky, and notably ONLY Lucky. Blah blah blah sexytime pays.

## Scarlett and Gunnar

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1455.xml)

I just thought you'd want to know that they got Scarlett in some high heels. It felt like Fug Nation should see.

## Hayden

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1458.xml)

Meanwhile, Tebow shows up with flowers for Hayden and tells her he just doesn't believe in premarital sex, but that he'd sure like to cover as many other bases with her as possible. I'm paraphrasing a little. Okay, a lot. But basically, their fight was as short as her skirt.

## Tami

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1460.xml)

Tami, meanwhile, is surrounded by happy family chaos, so of course Teddy decides to tell her later about the photos. These two are very nice people who have absolutely no heat for each other. Time to get naughty, y'all.

## Hayden and Tami

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1461.png)

I love this. For Hayden, this is supposedly a shot at legitimacy as a country act rather than a pop-country type, and for Tami it's proving a point. As they wait in the wings, Hayden has the look of a girl who realized someone put itching powder in her panties, and Tami has the look of the culprit. It's totally "Honey, this is how it's done," except they didn't need to say it because they are both good enough actresses to convey it all facially.

## Tami and Hayden

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1464.png)

The other difference between these two is that Tami knows what to do with a hemline.

## Hayden

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1466.png)

Seriously, the ENTIRE AUDIENCE got a preview of what Tebow turned down the other night. Including Tebow. She really should have told him that his principles would be safer in the balcony.

## Tami and Hayden

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/12/nIMG_1471.png)

The song is really fun, though, and the two of them sound great together -- it was a nice jolt of energy to the show to unite these two. And the other nice thing was, the looks that passed between them mixed an acknowledgment of an archrival's talent with total nausea at having to acknowledge an archrival's talent. It was nice acting, very layered, which has to be tough when you're doing a performance scene like this. So yay, show. For all its flaws I DO still enjoy it, and this was a nice reminder why. Bring on some more, Tami.

[Fug the Show: Nashville recap, season 1, episode 7The scenes with Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere were totally the spark this show needed; too bad Scarlett still can't breathe and speak at the same time.![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/nimg_1367.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-nashville-episode-7-12-2012/)