Sappedville
Scarlett's hair extensions spend the entire episode acting mopey. Clare Bowen has turned down her energy so that you really feel that Scarlett is a shell of herself -- she speaks quieter, her eye contact is less committed. It's good -- you almost don't realize what's different about her at first until suddenly it clicks, which presumably is what will be true for her friends as well. Rayna loves Scarlett's new song, though, and Dylan McKay hasn't had to flush any of her drugs down the toilet, so that's something.
Hairville
Juilette's hair, however, has never looked better. From week to week I can't ever tell if it's hers or not -- sometimes it looks so very PLONKED, and artificial, but then this looks like incredibly natural and normal bedhead. I have no idea what is actually growing out of her head, but I LOVE this easy look on her and I wish she'd wear it that way all the time. Also, she and Avery are fantastic together and I'm very happy with this pairing -- it's like I can finally exhale because the show has stopped degrading Juliette and is beginning to let her have some important victories. Who'd have thought Avery Barkley would be a check in the cosmic "win" column, and yet.
Deadville
Rayna is so immersed in Highway 65 that she ignores all Teddy's phone calls, so she doesn't find out her father is kaputski until Teddy shows up and tells her that he TRIED to call for help HE TRIED SO HARD and it just wasn't in time. Rayna and her blouse are sad. In several ways.
Agonyville
Tandy is also bummed that Powers is out of juice. It may cheer her up to know that she's rocking that short haircut. THIS is the age of the person who should have it, ahem, JENNIFER LAWRENCE.
Gangville
As we've all hoped, these three get together to sing again, and it's great. This song rules, and it's exactly why I want this show to keep getting renewed: The characters all talk about how much joy music brings them, and many of the performances are suffused with that from the actors themselves; even the songs that can't be classified as joyful are often captivating, like whenever Scarlett sings with Gunnar, or Deacon sings with Rayna (or an old hit from those days). Will can hit happy and heartbreaking, too, and it's just so NICE, and I really enjoy that aspect of it -- the Loveletter To Nashville portion. So yay.
Dependenceville
Megan is increasingly a shoulder Teddy relies upon, and that means that when Teddy realizes the guilt is consuming him, he calls her to his office and confesses to her what he did: namely, he watched Powers de-Boothe himself before he called an ambulance. Throwing these two together has felt organic and making him so dependent on her is a nice twist. I REALLY like Megan, which is great, because I'm going to be invested in her making decisions that are as smart as she is, and yet ALSO it's been very well established that she might have a thing for wounded souls. And so when she and Teddy develop feelings for each other -- and you know he's going to try and kiss her and she's going to fight him off and tell him he's just grieving, and then a) they'll end up falling in bed with each other the next time Deacon hits a bump in the road and gets cranky, or b) she'll tell Deacon about it and his lid, it will flip, and it'll screw up his relationship with Megan AND with Maddie -- I will be grabbing my face with tension and getting my hand oils all up in my pores.
Whiskeyville
Scarlett and Liam bond about how he needs to get back to his own music, and she operates on a volume of about four and an energy level of two. At the VERY least you'd think Liam would figure out what's going on, because she's totally different than she was BEFORE he introduced her to Dr. Feelgood.
Blowhardville
This is Howie V, who is also on "Orange Is The New Black," and he is a producer who flies Juliette and Glenn to L.A. so he can talk about resurrecting her career, and it goes about as well as you'd expect: all his ideas involve taking Juliette away from Nashville and into the pop world, including getting the last vestiges of "that twang" out of her voice. I feel like this is a dig at Taylor Swift. Maybe the V stands for "very skeptical of her being nominated in country categories."
Harpville
Juliette gets to do a version of her song with an orchestra, a harp, a chorus of backup singers, and a conductor organizing the whole thing. She tried to pimp Avery's version but Howie V wanted BIG BIG BIG and she and Glenn are so desperate for water in the desert of her life that they drink the sand.
WTFville
So, I guess the idea for Rolling Stone is that Juliette is standing in a career graveyard? But that may be too charitable of me, assuming that there is any rhyme or reason to this lunacy.
Maskville
FOR REAL, she looks like a French aristocrat whose head was run over by a car sporting four Marchesa for Michelin tires.
STOPITville
Someone tell me how these pictures are going to do anything for Juliette but make people laugh, and wonder if she sniffed glue while reading about the French revolution. She doubts it for a second but then gets drawn back in, assuming she's overthinking just because Howie V. Excited tells her it's his best work yet. But there is ALSO beat where she is nervous that it's weird to do this because of Rayna's poor dead father, and that's so false to me. Juliette is not a bad person but she isn't THAT considerate, and also, it's not like Rolling Stone covers hit the stands two days later. And I promise Rayna will NEVER look at that shitshow of a photoshoot and think, "THIS REFLECTS ON MY LIFE SOMEHOW."
Glugville
Glenn gets marginalized in this whole process -- Howie V makes him go on a coffee run, Howie V organizes a "Rolling Stone" shoot... every time he and Juliette think maybe they should pull back, Howie V shows up with another item on the agenda that sucks them back in, and Glenn starts to feel obsolete. Poor Glenn. Don't you know how many people would kill for a job that involves getting free Champagne and not having to make any decisions? Glenn, though, decides he has to quit so that Juliette can flourish. In "Country Strong" parlance, she is the bird, and he is the box, and he has to open himself. Or something. It's actually really sad because GLENN IS HER FATHER FIGURE and he loves her and she loves him, and she's upset that he's randomly quitting and leaving her in Los Angeles. I am, too. Glenn would never do that. DON'T GO, GLENN COCO.
Bitterville
Deacon hears about Powers Boothe and calls Rayna, who is hollow and bleak and unpleasant -- as you would be if you essentially told your father to drop dead and then he went and did it. Deacon stops by her house later to try and strongarm her into some catharsis, but she's nasty to him and won't be convinced. He doesn't care; he still wants to go to the memorial, because he is Deacon, and he's the best, and he uniquely understands how bad her relationship with Powers was. But he DOESN'T know that Powers Boothe was the Mr. Bates of Nashville, casually murdering people as best he could manage.
Cardiville
I just wanted you to know that Tandy is coping with her pain by wearing a wine cardigan.
Thanksville
These three help Deacon out by becoming his band for a last-second gig, which gets pushed very late and teaches Deacon the value of not being a big prima donna about his time slot. They have fun and sound great, and although Gunnar at first makes some weird comments about whether Zoey can deal with a real gig (she is like, "WHATEVER, dipshit"), they have a ball, and Deacon gives them a moment at one of his Bluebird shows as a thank you, and so the trio decides to become a real band. Which is great. They sound awesome together. ITUNES.
Sadzville
Scarlett, who claims Deacon forgot to tell her about the Bluebird gigs becoming regular again, watches all this through some conveniently placed Venetian Blinds of Blinkered Symbolism and rushes back over to Liam. She tells him that she feels like this album is all she has, and then jumps him, which they both agree is a terrible idea before they go ahead and lick each other's molars.
Shadesville
Everyone Looks Hotter In Sunglasses: Funeral Edition.
Coatville
I might take that back, though -- am I crazy, or are Rayna's aviators too small for her face? Is she like the Grinch? When she's happy again will they grow two sizes? Juliette's coat, however, is truly great, and it's nice that she came. What's STRANGE is that she follows the procession of mourners to pay final respects to Powers' coffin. Please. Did she even know him? Does she even remember he was the mayor? Could she have picked him out of a lineup of gruff and menacing older gentlemen?
Hugsville
And YAY: Juliette, as we knew she would, comes to her senses. She doesn't want to wipe the Nashville out of her sound, nor move to Los Angeles. She won't let Glenn quit, and they make up, and I get all teary-eyed AGAIN when he seems so relieved. The show doesn't really hint at this, but I think the randomness of it all is because Glenn was outfoxing her and it was a gambit. Go get it, Glenn.
SMASHYville
Rayna finally loses her shit after the funeral, and has a rage eruption in Powers Boothe's power booth, throwing glasses and knocking anything breakable to the floor. Except his computer, which still doesn't exist. "NO MORE LIES," she sobs as she sinks to the floor....
Oopsville
... which is fine for Tandy, who is aggrieved by seeing Rayna's breakdown, but Teddy is kind of like, "Um, y'all? Can it be SOME more lies? Because I've got one."