Gratitudeville
And then Emily stood up and screamed, "THIS BOOK IS GARBAGE WRITTEN BY GARBAGE PEOPLE," and threw it at Avery's head.
No. Although I would have laughed appreciatively if she had. This was... great. The EP had tweeted a screen grab of this the day before the episode, so we knew it was coming, but that didn't diminish the thrill. Jessica and I have joked about the day Taylor Swift would hold the book while running out of the gym, or Priyanka Chopra would club someone with it on Quantico, or whatever, but we NEVER thought it would ACTUALLY appear anywhere. It was just lovely -- it's the most tremendous privilege to be thought of in this way -- and I got a little misty. I am not going to make any assumptions as to why or how it made its way there, but we are DELIGHTED and proud and of course it doesn't hurt that Emily is the most consistently good Get-A-Grip Friend on the show. So OBVIOUSLY she has immaculate taste in books, America.
Trashville
Onto the story: Rayna and Deacon are getting married, and there is a strong implication that everyone is desperate for dish about this coupling, but -- hang on, this doesn't look right.
Correctville
Much better.
Flashbackville
The show deftly pulls off some exposition here with a neat visual. This is Rayna's wedding to Teddy -- please note that Rayna's upper arms appear to be blowing bubbles -- and we see it because Daphne is flipping through the old family albums (presumably the ones nobody destroyed when he first got arrested and Maddie had some Memorabilia Tantrums). This neatly reminds everyone that Teddy is Daphne's father, and that she's missing him, and that she feels like an outsider now. And the fact that she conceals this trip down memory lane from anyone communicates that she isn't interested in talking about her feelings right now. I understand. Those sleeves would be emotionally confusing to any young girl.
Hatville
Rayna is so excited to be having her dream wedding, at some property her mother dearly loved, that she is forced to wear a hipster fedora (did she buy it at the East Nashville Hipster Commune and Garmenterie?) in order to keep a lid on her emotions. There is, in fact, a LOT of talk about how Rayna is finally getting her dream wedding. How come she didn't get it when she married Teddy? (Or when she was planning to marry Luke?) It's not like she didn't love him, even though he wasn't Deacon. Is the implication that she's been saving this particular wedding for the day her subconscious knew she'd eventually marry Deacon? Maybe they could have addressed that. It's just strange that we're fresh off a reminder that this is not her first wedding, to Rayna acting like it IS her first wedding and she's finally getting to fire off a cannon that has been locked and loaded her entire life.
It is ALSO not her first fedora. I think doing all the press for Markus Keen's album that he blew off because he's a douchewad, which the Exposition Fairy reminded us, has given her a touch of the funky.
Sisville
Maddie and Daphne perform together, although Maddie has also been writing madly with Deacon's friend Whoever That Blond Girl Was -- FINE, I looked it up like a responsible recapper; it's Cash, and she's young but also has known Deacon a long while -- and Daph is feeling the squeeze. Worse, during their song, Daphne sees Maddie gazing adoringly at her biological parents who are finally together, and correctly processes that everyone is treating this like an aberration that is finally being corrected. She then slowly stops singing. Poor Daphne.
I've talked to the Stellas twice at Fashion Week, and I am thrilled to report that I LOVE THEM. They clearly have a sisterly dynamic that might not be too far from the show -- Lennon is nicer to Maisy than Maddie is to Daphne, but Maisy also made a really funny comment about how at Kate Spade she wanted to wear the dress Lennon got but "Lennon always wins." They're both full of personality, especially Maisy, who is just... I wanted to go hang out with her in Central Park and talk about how she's doing and Social Studies and dumb boys and what the hell Snapchat even is and whether I need to make an effort. Anyway. The point is, if you are fond of the Stellas, please know they seem wonderful and their mother is also rad.
Papville
Not rad: The paparazzi were not born yesterday, and so they're waiting at the back entrance of The Bluebird when the rehearsal dinner ends. The ensuing swarm is shot and edited to be quite claustrophobic and terrifying. A guy gets his lens in Maddie's face and shouts, "Maddie, which father is worse, the criminal or the drunk?" And Deacon pushes the guy over -- his camera breaks in the action -- before hustling everyone out of there.
I've complained a bit on this show about the ease with which everyone comes and goes with ZERO flashbulb attention (or even pics on people's smartphones). I know Nashville runs a bit chiller than Los Angeles or New York, but still, this was an interesting course correction -- and even included an acknowledgement that a secret wedding would NEVER work in either of those locales, that Nashville is unusually cool about these things, etc. So the scrum took everyone by surprise. (Never mind that this happened to Rayna when she and Teddy split up, and the paps were also publishing shots of her kids for like a week there.) And of course Deacon went all Ragey McFeelings on people.
Pensiveville
Maddie is reading all the Deacon stories on her iPad unhappily, because they remind her about the time she saw him trashing Beverly's room. And if he'll do that over a person who WAS TERRIBLE AND NOBODY LIKED NOT REALLY NOT EVEN WHEN YOU PRETEND OTHERWISE, then what might he do when he's upset by someone for whom he has real feelings?
Plan Bville
The florist leaks Rayna's wedding location, because I guess the episode needed to shoehorn in ONE MORE THING (I honestly think it would have been fine without it -- this may have been a concession to, "Yes, okay, fine, a secret outdoor wedding might not have been possible"). The decor in the barn they use instead looks lovely. And the poor wedding planner was up all night while Deacon and Rayna slept. I guess that's why she's paid the big bucks.
There's a lot of talk about how Rayna REFUSES to engage in a wedding celebration with the media and helicopters and whatnot, and.... honey, like six months ago, YOU SOLD YOUR WEDDING TO PEOPLE MAGAZINE. Yes, you never HAD that wedding, but still. I suppose we could assume she is learning from that whole aborted mess, but sometimes I think Rayna acts like nothing has ever happened before the exact second in which she is living.
Firedville
Remember Will's short-lived collaboration with Notable Bigot And Heavily Closeted Country Superstar Wade Cole? Well, after Will spurned his advances, he got badmouthed all over town. His publisher can't get him songwriting work anymore. He's up shit creek without a love interest. And so he blows off the wedding.
PRville
Poor Avery has to go to this wedding while Juliette is still in therapy/rehab, and he's been handed a dossier of things to say: She's in London exploring a West End adaptation of Shenandoah Girl; they've been staying at home delighting in parenthood; everything's fine; lies, lies, lies. Jonathan Jackson is fantastic in this episode. And throughout this arc, honestly. You feel very keenly his hurt, his bitterness, his sense of betrayal, and above all, how much it breaks his heart that he still cares, and how much it's costing him to tread water here. Perhaps he should curl up with a good book -- an escapist romance, mayhap.
Discussionville
Maddie is ready for the wedding ABSURDLY early -- wouldn't Rayna be getting ready WITH her girls, instead of having them do it themselves and then be ferried over separately? That's SO WEIRD to me -- and she takes this chance to tell Rayna that she's concerned Deacon is a rageaholic alcoholic. She tells Rayna about Beverly's room, and Rayna's response is all, "Eh, he was sad," rather than seeming that affected by Maddie's emotional trauma in that moment, and then Maddie points out that Deacon also nearly killed Rayna in a car accident (SHE was the one driving, though, kid, for what that's worth). Basically, she's a little afraid of him suddenly, and Rayna's response is to furrow her brow and be like, "Darlin' he's fine," or something. I am never blown away by Rayna's parenting.
Myopiaville
Their subplot is cute. Scarlett wants to cope with Caleb leaving by diving into work -- she's noodling on songs in her notebook even at her uncle's wedding -- and Gunnar insists she just needs an Erin, aka, a warm body to have sex with who doesn't want any commitment. he sets about trying to fix her up with a series of weird and terrible wedding guests, which is cute, but makes no sense. This wedding is supposed to be tiny. Rayna has expressed that it's just close friends and family. So who are all these randos, and why doesn't Scarlett know any of them, and why don't they know her?
No matter: None of it works, and she and Gunnar share a friendly dance, after which she cheerfully opines that it's okay she didn't find a one-night stand because she wants something more lasting. Gunnar processes that, but without anything that resembles lurking lust. I'm a little worried we're going to repeat this thing where they find each other again in the season finale, only to undo it all in the premiere.
Crucibleville
And then Goody Proctor shows up and is like, "I don't know WHY that girl keeps telling people she's seen me with the devil. Just because I look like I chewed my own hair into bangs doesn't mean Satan was involved."
Daphneville
Let's bring it on down to Daphneville: She feigned illness at first, and then when Deacon tried to help, she pushed him away and then told Tandy he was treating her like a liar. Tandy, who thinks Deacon is pain on legs, immediately freezes him out of this, gets Daphne ready (WHY ARE THEY NOT ALL IN RAYNA'S DRESSING ROOM), brings her to the wedding, and dumps her at Rayna's feet with, "[This] is on you."
I don't really want to linger on this, but the gist is that Tandy doesn't want Rayna to marry Deacon because she doesn't trust him, and she's infected Daph with that opinion, on top of Daphne already feeling like she doesn't belong in the new family unit. Rayna bends Tandy's ears but good about this in order to bring her back in line, but... seriously, Rayna is the worst. How does she not realize Daphne might be MORE emotional about this given that her birth father is IN JAIL RIGHT NOW FOR BANGING HOOKERS and her sister's birth father is stepping into his shoes? How did she not get in front of the problem? And why didn't she OR DEACON take Daphne aside and make her feel prioritized, or even just do some one-on-one time? I have notes. I'm a little too invested in Daphne.
Peptalkville
Rayna basically did nothing to help the situation with Maddie, so she gets her reassurances from Cash instead. Cash, who we've never seen before the previous episode, and yet is also attending this incredibly limited guest-list event full of just the closest friends and family.
As If ville
There's also a preposterous minute where Deacon considers bailing on the wedding because WAAAAH MADDIE THINKS I'M A MONSTER MAYBE I AM. Maybe you are, dude, but never more so than if you jilt Rayna Jaymes. And so Deacon goes to the one place that can bring him peace: the grave of the dead sister he barely ever saw. He talks as if he is a waste of life compared with sweet Beverly. Deacon, AGAIN, SHE WAS ALSO AN ADDICT AND IF NOT THEN AT LEAST REAL EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE TO OTHER PEOPLE. HER MERE PRESENCE MADE SCARLETT INTO AN INSANE DRUGGIE. SHE NEARLY LET YOU DIE BECAUSE SHE WAS JEALOUS THAT YOU DID NOT FAIL AT LIFE. WHY ARE WE STILL PRETENDING BEVERLY HAD ANYTHING TO OFFER YOU OTHER THAN HER INTERNAL ORGANS. And why is she buried in Nashville, the city whose starry promise eluded her for her whole life, instead of where she actually lived and had alleged friends? Whatever Hamilton is back there in that grave is all, "LORD, SHOW ME HOW TO SAY NO TO THIS. I HOPE THAT YOU BURN." And the sponsor tells Deacon not to throw away his shot.
Coleville
Cole comes by to support Maddie, but the sight of Layla there in full Puritanical mourning garb reminds him that he just can't wrestle with his conscience any longer. And that, despite the fact that even HE admits this is the worst time in the world for this -- and he could even maybe have waited until after the vows -- he simply must tell Layla that Jeff died after rescuing Juliette from killing herself. (Cole, by the way, is having a bang-up time doing chores on his grandfather's farm, and Maddie is mad that he doesn't spend more time with her, but he's got to leave early because he has to milk cows and muck out stalls and sit on ornery chickens and such.)
Barfville
Layla's reaction to the truth is to examine the venue's plumbing.
Crazy Eyesville
Layla's post-vomit poker face is as effective as her bangs.
Parentingville
Rayna finally gathers her children in her presence and confirms that, yes, THEY are the family unit, and DEACON is the outsider, and they get to decide if they want to let him in any further. She also tells them that Deacon is a deep-feeler who feels things, deeply, which might sometimes lead him to get a little worked up, but it's okay because he's probably not going to kill anyone. Oh, God, please don't let this be foreshadowing.
Weddingville
Rayna doesn't even have Tandy OR her daughters walk her down the aisle, which might have been a nice touch. Girlfriend DOES love a solo spotlight. I find myself wishing Teddy had gotten a furlough from prison so he could complete the handoff to Deacon by shuffling down the aisle in his jumpsuit and manacles.
Groomville
Deacon looks wonderful, and happy. The musicians look prepared. Scarlett and Gunnar are singing her down the aisle, and... so what are the musicians behind Deacon in aid of, then? How many musicians does it take to screw in the lightbulb that is powering Rayna Jaymes's spotlight moment?
Bodiceville
Not loving the top of this dress, y'all. Also, if her wedding dress to Teddy was off both shoulders in a similar way, why did she do it again? Rude.
Vowsville
The minister reads from the Good Book as he unites them forever.
Kissville
And then Deacon dips his bride and kisses her with no regard for whether her hair will fall out of that lovely vintage clip. Which is romantic -- even though it was also REHEARSED, when she was wearing her fedora; Rayna must get off on negotiating precarious headgear during tongue marathons.
Panicville
Avery spends the entire time fielding questions from people about him and Juliette -- some curious, some fawning, some aggressively adoring about when they will have another kid or what a wonderful mother she must be. His panic is so acute that he bursts outside at the end of the night, huddled and crying. Jonathan Jackson is so good. He manages to be wryly funny while he suffered through the questions, and yet it is the perfect build to his emotional boiling point.
Protectiveville
Tandy and Deacon make up, and she tells him she's on board with this as long as he doesn't hurt Rayna -- and if he does, he will get his claybornes removed.
Furville
I just thought you'd like to see Rayna's wedding coat. Deacon carries her over the threshold of their sex chalet and then ... plays her a song. Sure! That actually does feel like something a married musician would do.
Heroic Personville
Emily somehow manages to tear herself away from reading the novel of her dreams, because Avery has come home. He'd better hurry up, though, because I think shit's about to get real in Bex's life.
Brokenville
Ugh, Avery. You slay me. He admits to Emily that he can't do this -- that perpetuating the lie, and wearing the wedding ring, is destroying him almost as much as her initial abandonment did. He wants to end it. All of which must be revving up for the return of Juliette Barnes, and I CANNOT WAIT. I was almost surprised this didn't end with her on the doorstep.
Revengeville
Layla hires Glenn to be her manager, tells him she's got a whole new album's worth of songs she wants to cut, and that Avery Barkley has to be her producer. This, after she cornered Avery at the wedding and let him force-feed her the lies about Juliette. So to me this says: Layla knows now Juliette is off getting help, and that Avery is lying through his teeth, and so she's going to either a) ruin them as a unit, or b) get close to him and get him to kiss her/fall in love with her so that she can leave Juliette with nobody, the way Juliette left HER with nobody (as her brain perceives it, anyway). The latter is SO soap-operatic, except for how I'm not sure what their age difference is meant to be, but Layla was only like 19 or 20 when she arrived on the show so... well. I won't think about it. Everyone is legal, and Feelings Will Be Developed And/Or Shredded.
Hamilville
Wait, how did this get in here? Parenthetically, if Chris Jackson ever committed portions of The Royal We to song, I would gladly perish, having lived my best life. When Lin-Manuel inevitably develops the musical of "The Royal We," I greatly look forward to him as Prince Richard.