Comaville
Bev basically has no brain function and is breathing on a respirator, and Scarlett and Deacon have to decide what to do about it. Correction: SCARLETT has to decide, because she has the power of attorney. Deacon huffs and sniffs and snarls that he knows Bev would want them to fight, and this is absurd because she's going to be just fine. Scarlett just does that thing where she acts like this situation is impossibly foreign to her -- like, not emotionally, but just FACTUALLY, as if she has never consumed ANY kind of media at all. Rayna weaves her hair into a braid and stays out of it, because it would be rude to flaunt her locks at a time like this.
Emptyville
Juliette wanders into her hotel room and sees nothing but debris and a pair of inverted legs, presumably belonging to one of her party girls. Actually, the longer I look at this, the more I see body parts belonging to other people. Basically, her room is full, but her soul, it is empty. We are JUUUUUST about running out of ways to redeem Juliette here, I have to say. I love her, and I love her consistency as a character, but she can only stubbornly screw up her life so many times before I scream and throw up my hands. I need a nubbin of growth.
Emptyville, pt. 2
Luke, meanwhile, had a lady in his bed but he pretends to sleep while she exits. Then he lies there, alone, paddling in the hidden depths of his lonely despair. It was here that I first got concerned he and Juliette are going to sleep together. Spoiler: They don't. YET. That would also be pretty unforgivable -- like, Avery would have to be off dancing with Bev in the great beyond, I think, or else married to another person.
Suspensionville
Daphne gets suspended for hitting a classmate who was badmouthing Teddy. She insists to Rayna that the girl deserved it because Teddy is INNOCENT and soon everyone will KNOW THAT. Rayna may be wondering if she could've spent the last month handling this better, instead of wandering around the Highway 65 offices straightening crooked posters and ordering new mugs.
Snuggleville
Gunnar is just trying to make pancakes for everyone, but Cadence is crying, Avery is screaming into the phone to Juliette's tour manager -- who keeps stalling and then eventually hangs up on him -- and Will escapes for a date with Kevin, after briefly sniffing Cadence's diaper to confirm she doesn't need a change. This leaves Gunnar holding the bean, although he's quite cute about doing it. So far, Three Men and a Baby: Nashville Edition hasn't involved enough murals, tossing of bottles from kitchen to living room, and gentle readings of Sports Illustrated articles. I demand more.
Raceville
So, Juliette runs into Luke on their day off, and makes up a lie about how she isn't going home because quick drop-ins confuse the baby too much. Then she invites herself along on his day of kicking it Indianapolis style, which of course involves doing laps on the speedway. Because I guess they will let just any old human take a racecar out for a spin.
Grinville
Don't worry. Luke Four-Wheeler's Racetacular Speedgasm doesn't cure what ails Juliette. This smile -- true and lovely, sadly -- is because Juliette has complained that this isn't her idea of fun, and Luke has offered her a chance to show him what SHE would like to do. The answer will surprise you. (Spoiler: It won't. It involves drinking.)
Coverville
Cut to a bar, where Juliette drums up a party and then throws together a band -- I don't even know -- to go on-stage. She starts singing "Bad Reputation," which is a song she should've tried to cover on the same album as "Don't Put Dirt On My Grave Just Yet," if we're going to get all Ron Obvious about things. Luke, of course, watches with curious remove and then joins in when she taunts him into it. These two are good performers, but it's not a good performance. It's just average karaoke with live musicians.
Jailville
Rayna calls Teddy and tells him she insists on bringing the girls there. Teddy doesn't want to, and says he's planning to plead not guilty because his lawyer thinks that if they just drag their feet long enough the charges will dissolve. That... seems like lame advice. I'm pretty sure "OH JUST WAIT IN PRISON FOR AGES AND EVENTUALLY THEY'LL JUST LET YOU GO" is only how prison works if a) you have been sentenced, and that sentence is up, or b) your lawyer is a douche who's billing you by the hour, around the clock, for all this "just wait" advice.
Screamville
At the jail, Maddie won't even look at Teddy, buy Daphne runs right up to him and hugs him and then beseechingly looks up at him to ask for confirmation that he didn't do anything wrong. Teddy can't lie to her, and so as he begins bumbling through an apology, Daphne flips her braid and screams that she hates him and wants to leave. Rayna hustles her out of there with a disapproving look. Um, Rayna, THIS WAS YOUR IDEA. What did she think this was going to accomplish? It's SO LIKE her to guilty Teddy into seeing the kids and giving them answers, and then getting pissed at him for actually doing it. All while she says nothing to help.
Hugville
Scarlett isn't sure what to do about Bev, and drinking coffee in a cardigan isn't helping -- hi, that's why they're called WINE CARDIGANS, hon -- so she gets a hug from Dr. Zwieback. He says things about how he can't tell her what to do because she'll hate him for it if the decision doesn't come from her heart, or whatever, and it's all as sterile and chemistry-free as the hug.
Fateville
Contrast that with this hug, cleverly and SURELY deliberately shot to mirror the other one. Gunnar shows up at the hospital because he gets wind of something gone wrong with Bev from their manager, and finds her in the chapel playing music and singing (I guess nobody else in the hospital needed the chapel that day?). The second she looks up at him, she launches herself into his arms and squeezes tight, and it's actually sweet. His version of advising her is to say that he trusts her, and that he knows whatever she decides deep down is best will in fact BE best, and he'll support it unconditionally. (So while Dr. Wipes is trying his best, he forgets to support her and remind her that she's CAPABLE of making the decision.) And look -- this one tiny scene has even given his hair some verve. It's like he's absorbed all the volume she usually puts in hers, but can't, because she's Grief-Straightening.
Willville
Okay, so let's get through this one: Will shows up at Kevin's, and finds him jamming with a bunch of his gay and lesbian country friends. This is relevant because they act like jerks to Will because he's not running around town playing music everywhere, as if what just happened is so easy for him. One friend flat-out lectures him for not doing enough to advance the cause now that he's the face of it. She sees it as a betrayal, and a victory for the homophobia. And while I get that, I also think... it's been, what, four weeks? Are these people really going to piss all over him for not coming out on THEIR timetable? At least get to know him before you tell him he's not being gay the way you want him to be.
Will later tells Kevin that he understands that argument, and doesn't even disagree with it, but that he is still processing everything. "I haven't stepped up to the mic because I don't know what to say," he says, adding that he isn't sure how to be "Will Lexington, Gay Cowboy." Kevin points out, "That's how the public already sees you." They agree to take things a bit more slowly, but that they're at least going forward this time.
Scrapbookville
So, I guess Rayna handled her child's outburst at the prison by leaving her to her own devices. And thus, when she remembers she has children, she finds Madde and Daphne ripping all their family photos to shreds -- like, actual photos, in hard-crafted albums. In fact, it's the ruination of all her scrapbooks that finally prompts her to do some parenting. So I guess the next time one of the girls has a problem, they should just take it out on Rayna's Pinterest boards or something.
Beardville
Teddy, either unable to shave in prison or else unaware that no Nashville sports teams are currently in playoff contention anywhere, gets a nice gift from Rayna: She delivers a speech in front of the kids about how he was a terrific dad. She says he was strong and steady and he kept the home fires burning -- and the scrapbook glue flowing -- while Rayna was off on tour. "You made a few mistakes, but that does not change all those years of us being a family," she says. "And family forgives." And poof, just like that, Daphne and Maddie nod in agreement and they have a big hug. It's nice, actually, if also totally simplistic. If everything Rayna touches turned to gold this easily, her record company would not be sitting empty right now while Bucky tries to give away branded pens to anyone who walks past.
And THEN Teddy announces he's going to plead guilty, because "actions have consequences," and he wants the girls to be proud of him. His lawyer is going to be PEEEEEVED. Also, how did he go from "if we just wait the charges will disappear" to "I'm pleading guilty"? I think it's possible nobody is paying any attention to the details of this. Including me. And Teddy.
Emilyville
Avery comes home with divorce papers to find Emily playing Juliette's lullaby to Cadence -- the one J and Avery sang when the baby was born, which I guess they recorded later. It was all that calmed Cadence down, and so despite Avery's aversion to the idea, he thanks Emily for her help. Emily cautiously asks Avery to make absolutely sure he really wants to divorce Juliette. "Make no mistake, she wanted that baby. And she wanted you," Emily says. Which is all very well and good, but those words ARE in the past tense right now, Em. Also, when we saw Emily offering to help, I was like, "Hah, it's almost as if we're supposed to think Avery might hook up with her," and then I saw the teaser for next week and LO! THE TABLOIDS ARE ON THE SCENT. So we'll see. But the episode does end with Avery putting the papers in a drawer.
Hangoverville
Juliette wakes up in Luke's bed, and has a HUGE moment of panic before she realizes he slept on the couch. Luke casually offers up a helpful anecdote about his past: how he left his wife to do all the hard work, and woke up one day realizing he'd missed half his kids' lives, blah blah blah, don't repeat the sins of the Wheeler, etc. Because it's morning, Juliette appears to ingest this and actually think about it...
Champsville
... until one of her shallow friends turns up with mimosa fixins and Juliette decides she would rather get blitzed again than look inward, because what she will see there is sadness and loneliness and a LOT of dehydration.
Squabbleville
Scarlett tells Deacon she's going to pull the plug, and Deacon can't deal with it. He remembers Bev telling him that she heard him when she was comatose, and wonders how they know she isn't hearing them now and pleading with them not to flip the switch; Scarlett points out that even if she were to live, she would no longer be herself, because of the brain damage. This is sort of hard for me to write about, for personal reasons. Deacon is a dink to Scarlett in this episode, and it made me annoyed at his face -- which I don't like to feel with regard to Deacon -- but I understand that fear he's having, but also her counterargument. Plus she points out time is of the essence in donating Bev's organs so she can save other people the way she saved Deacon.
And Deacon is so cut up about it that, even with Rayna's counsel, HE DOES NOT GO TO BE WITH SCARLETT WHEN IT HAPPENS. Or even to be with Bev. I guess Rayna's Magical Healing Powers of Showing A Fleeting Interest In Her Loved Ones can only work once this weekend. Storywise it makes sense for Deacon not to do the noble thing and show some mature support for his grieving niece, so that there is conflict, but it makes me MAD IN MY BONES.
Byeville
So Scarlett is all alone when it happens, and she breaks down in tears. Clare Bowen is good in this episode. She basically spent the whole time leaking from the eyeballs, but made it seem very natural. I hope they gave her some frozen spoons and a couple days off to recover.