Slumpville
Layla's album sales are flagging. Glenn tries to be reassuring, and tells her to play the long game, but Layla is impatient. And so -- this is the "twist" we find out at the end of the episode, but it was fairly clear to me at the outset that this was the case -- Layla arranges it so that she and Avery are caught making out.
More specifically: Avery performs in this episode -- it's an upbeat, almost rockabilly song, and that's PERFECT; it suits Jonathan Jackson's voice MUCH better than the slow stuff -- and Layla shows up to gaze adoringly at him. But when they sneak out the back and start kissing, a photographer pops out of some trash cans. Strangely, their reaction is to stare at him and then be like, "Huh, what was that?" WHAT DO YOU THINK? Also, Avery, you look really old for someone who was born yesterday.
Tabloidville
The rags run the pictures next to one of Juliette looking like she is screaming with rage (or in the midst of a terrible flu). Avery FREAKS OUT because he's already done the Celebrity Couple thing, but Layla flips that into, "YOU'RE EMBARRASSED TO BE SEEN WITH MEEEEEEEE." Her twin reactions -- blasé, and then ME ME ME LOVE MEEEE -- busted up her little scheme, for me. Oh, Avery. She's Juliette II.
Spoonville
Okay, and right here: Hayden is a genius. I don't know if this was her bit of stage business, or the director's, or even if it was in the script, but regardless she carries it out brilliantly and it's so great. Juliette is lying in bed eating ice cream and reading when she gets a Google Alert about the tabloid story. When she sees it, she sits up in bed and starts screaming for Emily WITH THE SPOON STILL IN HER MOUTH. It just sort of falls out in its own time. I truly loved this. It was a small thing but my favorite. I am crushed that Juliette Barnes is leaving my life.
Adville
Some company wants Scarlett -- just Scarlett -- to do an ad for them. In fairness, it's a female-centric ad campaign. Gunnar is bruised, but supportive -- distantly, since they're still fighting -- but Scarlett refuses to do it because she doesn't want to make a habit of anything that undercuts their duo status. Their manager makes her promise to think about it overnight, because that's PLENTY of time for some plot to wriggle in there and taint everyone's best intentions.
Deadville
This is a weird, shoehorned plot. Will's mother dies, and his aunt is the one who calls to tell him, because Will's father believes that his wife died of a broken heart BECAUSE OF THE GAY. Will shows up to the funeral and weeps through a short statement, and then he and his father argue, and in a hot second Will wins him over: His dad stands up for Will when someone else -- a guest at the funeral, no less, which is not only gross but also rude -- calls him a "homo." This appears to give Will hope that his father is not dead to him, and that's a wrap this week for Will Lexington. Honestly, the story would have been more moving if the DAD died, right? The one with whom he never made peace? I don't know. I think also it was a problem because I have NO memory of how Will's mother feels about Will, and so the whole time I wasn't sure how I was meant to feel because I wasn't sure how HE felt. So many feelings to consider, none of them abundantly clear.
Tandyville
I spent an insane amount of time trying to screen grab Tandy's great short curly hair, trying to figure out why my hair doesn't look like that. I mean, other than the professional hairstylists who tended it. Tandy might be my #hairgoals now that I've crossed into The Bob side.
Raynaville
Sometimes I accidentally go an entire episode without getting a shot of Rayna. So HERE IT IS. She looks typically great while stalking Maddie from more than 100 yards away, roughly. Here, she's trying to rig the record deals, to get a friend to sign Maddie rather than a big label that's based in New York. She also sneaks in for the beginning of the set to hear Maddie's song, which is the same one she sang on The Night Of Deacon's Rage. It's very... mature. And she doesn't really sell it -- the match of artist to subject matter is weird -- and so I was surprised that didn't turn out to be a plot point (the idea that Cash's advice about more adult music was wrong because CASH IS THE WORST etc).
Cashville
Juliette Barnes is ALSO trying to help, sending Glenn in -- her "good-luck charm" -- to try and make sure Maddie doesn't get screwed. This is Cash's face when Maddie makes it clear that she's thrilled Glenn is there and the entire team welcomes him -- taking especial exception when Glenn notes that Maddie is without a manager. Don't kid yourself, Cash. You ARE chopped liver in this scenario.
Fringeville
Ugh, also, Maddie is wearing this white fringed thing. Earlier in the episode she was wearing a tunic and bellbottoms -- I thought I got a grab of it, but I can't find it? HELPFUL -- and it was SO AWFUL and not at ALL this child's style. But not a cool new grown-up style, either. It was '70s loungewear. MADDIE. STOP CARRYING SO MUCH CASH.
Frankieville
This hellbucket of a human informs Deacon that he's scrapping The Beverly and the dumb curtain and buying back his bar. Which is the smart play: Lose the terrible name and the stupid decor, but keep the buzz. Sort of. There is no discussion of price or anything, though. Doesn't Deacon have to AGREE to be bought out, and at a certain rate? I hope he fleeces Frankie. But I do also hope he sells, because we need to get the word "Beverly" out of our lives for good. Like, it's retroactively tainting the name of the world's greatest teen soap.
Sneakyville
This grab pleases me, because Autumn Chase looks SO sneaky and evil, and Gunnar is just the most clueless back there, working away. She asked him for help on a song, and keeps planting seeds that he's the only reason The Exes even exists, he's the real talent, the driving force, etc. She is playing him like a mop-topped fiddle, and when she's ruined their band for fun and then casts him aside because it's "awkward," it's going to make for a really sad season/series finale.
Cardiganville
Autumn then calls Gunnar on-stage to play their co-written song, and Scarlett is upset by this, so she stomps back and tells Manager Scott Reeves that she's going to do the solo commercial. She has on an EXTREMELY solid-looking wine cardigan, too. It is always about 35 degrees Fahrenheit where Scarlett's arms are.
Ughville
Oh my god, Juliette is wearing a lace insect.
Dateville
Jules had Emily arrange a date for this Oscars event so that she wouldn't look sad and lonely in the wake of the Avery pictures. He's a total toolshed, and her face in this shot is amazingly reflective of how NOT into this she is. Hayden YOU ARE A TREASURE.
Keshaville
And then Kesha shows up. I'm glad she's working? But acting may not be her thing.
Zipperville
Kesha is there as Derek Hough's friend -- Derek, you may recall, plays Juliette's "Shenandoah Girl" co-star -- and her hair matches Juliette's dress. All of which also gives me an excuse to point out how much I hate the zipper on the back of Juliette's dress. This whole thing looks like when you cut wrapping paper for a present and WHOOPS you totally mis-measured.
Helpville
WELL FINALLY. Tandy sits down with a depressed Daphne -- who is now ignoring Maddie's texts -- and points out the similarities in their stories: They both lost their sisters to music careers and parental feuds, and both got stuck picking up the pieces. Why it didn't occur to RAYNA to draw that parallel... but then, that would require seeing past her own nose.
Stanceville
Oh, also, Luke's radio play is suffering in the wake of standing up for Will. But Luke doesn't care because he's on the right side of history, so he fires his manager and vows to stay the course. BE WILL'S BOYFRIEND. Ahem. Sorry, I just couldn't help it.
Tandyville
NO BUT SERIOUSLY that is a good curly bob. It's got body but no frizz, solid curl formation... Tandy, you are getting it done.
Smugville
Glenn calls Layla and tells her that press requests have gone way up since her paparazzi encounter. "Almost as if we planned it," he says, pointedly, then elaborates -- without directly saying it -- that he TOTALLY knows she orchestrated the whole thing. She goes silent and then hangs up, but pauses to smile at herself in the mirror. I still don't know if there's a larger plot in motion, or if she actually wants Avery but also used it for her own benefit. Either way, her bangs still don't know what the hell they are doing. They are as confused as her soul is, perhaps. Are her bangs like a mood ring?
Bangville
And yes, Juliette hooks up with Derel Hough at their movie party, and yes, the tabloids are all over it (hardly a shock -- they were RIGHT THERE in the room). She's pleasantly surprised that he wants to go public and stay with her even though she's a new mother with a tough track record; I am wondering when it's going to turn out that he is a Master Illusionist who wants to leave her after he's gotten enough cred to debut a Vegas act with Kellan Lutz. Both of them look like illusionists to me. Maybe Juliette is his Mrs. White.
This slide will not make any sense to a subset of people, and for that I apologize.
Dazedville
Although he patches things up with Layla, Avery still gazes off into middle distance as a way of coping with Juliette's hookup. If the answers are on a billboard across the street, then he's totally looking in the right place.
Hugsville
Maddie -- at Cash's urging, over Glenn's logic -- signs with Lennox Hill, the New York label. Rayna is gutted. But she doesn't make Tandy do ALL the parenting. Poor Tandy just has to set up the bowling pins and hand Rayna the ball, and maybe a tip or two on form, before stepping back and letting Rayna bowl the strike. Daphne hates seeing her mom unhappy, and Rayna promises it won't be like this forever. Daphne is confused by being so mad at Maddie, and Rayna points out that you can still love people at whom you're hella mad. Like Maddie. And Deacon. And then the two of them hug, before Rayna presumably realizes she needs to take care of business...
Drinkville
... that being, Deacon. He had been sleeping elsewhere, and showed up at an AA meeting and went on a tirade about how doing all the right things didn't leave him in any better of a place than being a drunk did. God, DEACON, you are so f'ing MELODRAMATIC. Of COURSE you're in a better place, you self-pitying nincompoop. Stop acting like it's sobriety's fault, or alcoholism's fault, that you can't control your temper. OWN YOUR ACTIONS. Instead, he stomps out and goes home and is about to take a drink when Rayna calls. After an excruciating period, he puts down the bottle and answers the phone. Here's the thing: Yes, the show is consistent with Deacon being a dry drunk, and yes, it's logical that he would be handling all this really badly. But that doesn't make it any less FRUSTRATING that he apparently will never learn his lesson. Also, KEEP YOUR DEAD SISTER'S LIVER HAPPY, YOU IDIOT. YOU WERE ALL SAD THAT SHE DIED AND YOU LIVED. GUESS WHAT. TAKE CARE OF HER BODY PART. YOU FOOL. STOP. You have THREE EPISODES to get it together.