Viewville
It seems enough people re-posted the "Maddie Claybourne" YouTube video before she pulled it down that the media has gotten hold of it, and can smell a paternity scandal; Jenny McCarthy has almost no lines, delightfully, which is the way the world should be at all times. But I have ABSOLUTELY no idea why Sherri Shepherd is wearing one of the rejected "Tootsie" wigs. It actually also reminds me of that scene in "Dreamgirls" where Beyonce decides to put on her wig backward just to be different. Although this wig might just be on crackward.
Kidville
Rayna and Luke are really bummed that the secret is out, especially because Luke had just popped by to apologize for freaking out, which led to a long and winding bit of backstory about how they all played the circuit together back in the day and Luke has been in love with Rayna forever, even though she wouldn't ever look at anyone but Deacon, and even though Deacon was a big old drunken douchey unreliable mess. But Luke held out hope, and in return, he was rewarded with a Rayna who wears great blouses and looks amazing in pants and has hair that could save the free world from itself. That feels like it was worth the wait.
Charlieville
Glenn has a big idea: They're in Chicago, and so is Charlie Wentworth, and so he thinks Juliette should beg him to strong-arm all his radio stations into playing her music because he owes her. Of all the reasons this is a demeaning and dumb idea, here is one: It's only going to throw kindling on the embers if it gets out that all Charlie Wentworth stations have been ORDERED to play more Juliette Barnes. This also puts Juliette in a situation in which she is almost ASSURED to end up getting shoved into the proverbial lily-pond of drama. Glenn is usually smarter than that.
Richville
Gunnar's story is that he gets a $400k royalty check for his two Luke Wheeler songs; Zoey's is that he spends some of that cash on a professional demo for her, and her agent decides she's super talented and should go to Los Angeles to try and branch out from country, where no one needs backup singers right now. Gunnar is upset because nobody wants him to play anywhere without his too-brief, now-defunct band (I don't understand why he and Zoey don't just play together; why has nobody suggested this? Why is it a trio or nothing, and why wouldn't she prefer being in a band of her own to being a backup singer someplace?) and he feels stagnant. He begs Zoey to move in with him and let him support her while she sticks it out in Nashville a bit longer, but she doesn't want to be bankrolled and tells him to find his own dream. This somehow ends in Gunnar driving by a house with a "For Sale" sign on it and gazing at it dreamily. So his cliffhanger for the next month of hiatus time is... that he might become a PROPERTY OWNER? WILL HE QUALIFY FOR A LOAN? WILL HE MAKE IT THROUGH ESCROW? I AM ON THE EDGE OF MY zzzzzz.
Surpriseville
And timid little Scarlett is getting ready for her sound check when her mother shows up, and this facial reaction is about all you need to know. Clare Bowen is actually very good in this episode, and it finally starts to make sense of why Scarlett has ZERO in the way of life skills. It does not, however, make sense of her hair.
Fletchville
You may recognize Dana Wheeler-Nicholson from "Fletch," or, more recently, as Tyra Collette's mother from "Friday Night Lights." WHITHER COACH TAYLOR AND MATT SARACEN. Both of them could sort out Scarlett. She and Saracen have the same level of emotional oomph (I say that with love, QB2). Anyway, Scarlett's mother presents this souvenir snow globe to her like their home state invented them and they are made of the finest, most refined technology the land has to offer, and the whole time Scarlett acts like she's waiting for her mother's head to spin around on her neck while she burps in tongues.
Papville
FINALLY, a paparazzi frenzy. Although it's outside Maddie's school, which is not ideal. The whole gang decides it's best to go on one of ABC's many fine interviewing programs and pluck the metaphorical guitar strings of truth. Assuming anyone can find Deacon, because he's not answering his nonmetaphorical phone of mobile, and the show wants us to think he has fallen off the wagon and watched as it drove away and then blew up.
Phewville
But TISH AND PISH, the Deac is fine. He trashed his country house looking for his booze stash... so he could EMPTY it. He's furious with Rayna for letting Luke come up with her to their former love nest, and I am distracted by the fact that Chip Esten's mussed hair looks both cute and strangely as if it TOO is a wig and WHAT is going on in the hair department on this show? (Not that Sherri Shepherd is under their jurisdiction, but Juliette and Scarlett sure are.) Anyway, they all go a few rounds until it's clear that Deacon is hiding from the world because of Megan and Teddy, which Rayna didn't know about, and he did NOT take a drink but that doesn't mean he wouldn't enjoy taking the empty bottle and ramming it into any of Teddy's various face-holes.
Whinerville
Rayna is grossed out that Teddy slept with Megan, and he turns it into a whole wailing rant about how he's sick and tired of being marginalized as Maddie's father and he doesn't want to lose her. Well, you shouldn't have killed her grandfather, then, dirtbag. That would have been a pleasant start.
Wentworthville
Help me out here. Juliette's career is ruined because, at least initially, the world believed she had an affair with this married man. So when she makes plans with him to meet up so they can discuss her radio play, she allows them to go someplace where other people are milling around? I don't know if they're backstage, or in a bar, or what, but there are definitely extras in this scene, and that seems like a TERRIBLE IDEA, because that is how more rumors get started. Especially because Charlie plants one on her, and although she pushes him away and tells him she's in love with Avery now, nobody but a lip-reader is going to care about that part. However, Charlie has clearly misread the situation, as anyone who wanted to get together and open the Barnes doors would not have shown up to said meeting in pants and a knit skull cap. The Juliette we know would've gotten out her boobs if she was interested in letting him drum on them.
Tubville
Juliette had checked with Avery before she agreed to Glenn's plan, and he encouraged her to go; now, she confesses to Avery that Charlie tried to kiss her -- not, in fact, that he DID kiss her. I SUPPOSE it could count if she means that he made every effort to deploy a proper kiss but she did not allow him passage into the Mouth Canal. Avery makes some glib remark about how he was pretty sure Charlie would pull something because he's a skeeze, and Juliette jolts a little, almost like she thinks it was super uncool of Avery to encourage her if he assumed she'd get hit on... and then lets it pass and has sex with him in the tub instead. Like, she rolls on top of him and they start making out and sliding into the water, which not only sounds splashy and uncomfortable, but also potentially fatal.
GMAville
Deacon shows up for the GMA interview, and is frank and self-flagellating and classy, as they all are, even though Rayna was concerned Deacon would turn around and lay into Teddy for his and Megan's vehicular boneslaughter. Luke Wheeler watches this whole thing happen, gives Rayna a supportive kiss, then excuses himself and stomps into his car and testily demands to go the airport, before punching the headrest. So presumably he was hoping Deacon would make an ass of himself again, but because he didn't, Luke thinks he's going to lose again. I don't have a problem with Luke, particularly, but in this last stretch he's been SO perfect that I'm a lot more interested in him now that he's beating up inanimate car parts.
Chatville
And this scene is excellent. These two bring SUCH chemistry and a sense of history to the material. Deacon, basically, is deeply hurt that Rayna never told him about Maddie because he's been sober for a while, and Maddie had a lot of birthdays in that time, and that being a cherished uncle doesn't make up for missing out on all the fatherly things Teddy got instead. He also comes to the realization that maybe Rayna NEVER would've told him if Maddie hadn't found out herself, and the knowledge that they could've been sitting there together as a couple without him ever knowing that he had a daughter really shreds his denim. It's totally understandable, and it makes you mad at Rayna.
Then Rayna fully slays him by reminding him what a vicious mess he was, and pointing out that his behavior when he DID finally find out -- i.e., getting rip-roaring drunk and almost killing them both -- actually validated her decision never to tell him earlier, because if he behaved that way after EONS of sobriety, what would have have done after only a few years? And she's correct about that, and it makes you sad for Deacon and a whole lot less annoyed at Rayna, because dude, Deacon, you REALLY f'ed that one up and you lost your leg to stand on, and not in a swashbuckling pirate-y kind of way.
Poisonville
Slowly, the poison starts to seep from Mama O'Connor into Scarlett. She gets mean: She's prickly-through-a-smile about their recording setup and how Scarlett and Deacon have careers while hers was thwarted by having a baby, and she gets nasty when Scarlett lets slip that she knew about Maddie being Deacon's kid and didn't tell her. Clare Bowen gives herself full-body jitters anytime her mother so much as flinches in her direction, and you start to reailze that the reason Scarlett can't handle herself in any situation at all is because she spent most of her childhood hiding until the storm blew over and she could come out safely.
SPITEville
And then Mama hijacks the beginning of Scarlett's sound check and turns it into her own concert, so Scarlett pops three pills and then marches out there and says sweetly, 'This one's for you, Mama," and Mama stands there beaming proudly while Scarlett TEARS into that "Black Roses" song that she wrote with Liam -- which is all about how her mother is a total emotionally abusive jackwagon. Clare Bowen tucks into it with MAJOR fury and zeal, which makes me like the song a lot more than when she was wanly trilling it in Liam's studio. It's affecting. The rage pours out of her (well, until she gets into her head voice at the end, when the sounds coming out of her mouth stop matching the gritty facial expressions, but such is life) and it's very affecting.
Chokeville
So Mama stalks Scarlett through the venue and throws her around and pinches her and spits ragey things in her face, all of which gives Scarlett flashbacks to her mother barricading her under tables when she was young, or locking her in closets. It's quite sad, and makes me wonder where in all of Deacon's sober years he was while this was happening to his niece and his sister.
Scarlett, by now a wet mess, trembles into Juliette's dressing room and begs for the night off. Juliette has some sympathy for Mommy Issues, but points out that this isn't a Dairy Queen and she can't just get a sub for her shift. She has to learn to sing through the pain. Which is probably somewhat true, and also somewhat Juliette not really caring about whether what worked as HER coping mechanism would help someone else.
Chugville
And so Scarlett chugs a bunch of whiskey to brace herself to perform. But: SHE'S WEARING A BRACELET. So even a strung-out, drunk, emotionally confused girl got that right. I bet her cowboy boots aren't flesh-colored, either.
Woozyville
Scarlett heads off for her opening set, and Avery takes one look at her -- she is rocking like a metronome and totally wasted -- and tries to intervene, but he gets sidetracked by Charlie Wentworth, who is gloating that Juliette will fall back under his spell. THEN Avery notices Charlie slobbering all over Scarlett, and he tries to start with the fisticuffs, which pisses off Juliette; she can't believe Avery was fine with sending her off to Charlie knowing she'd get macked on, but enraged that Charlie was so much as standing next to his precious Scarlett. All of which gives Ms. O'Hair-a time to climb up on-stage and greet the crowd in her inebriated bubble...
Breakdownville
... which then leads to her having hallucinations about her angry mother everywhere, and she starts screaming, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME," and eventually dives sobbing underneath the piano. Except everyone -- in her band and backstage -- stood there and watched her as she wobbled and missed her cues and looked all melt-y under the stage lights, and did nothing until she went totally mental. This includes Avery, who saw her, knew she was blotto, and STILL just sort of watched, agape. Way to be on point there, everyone. Way to fake a sound-system problem and hustle her off-stage. No really. Y'all are super sharp tonight.
OMGville
And this is Juliette's reaction. Partly because she just watched her opening act have a mental breakdown, partly because she might be wondering if PERHAPS this is partly her fault for not being more accommodating of Scarlett's obvious emotional incohesion -- and general incoherence -- when she came to her earlier, and MAAAAAYBE just a little bit of tickled astonishment as she's realizing that this will get her tour into the papers, one way or another, and that for once the bad headlines won't be about her. I MIGHT be projecting that, but it's fairly safe to say that out of any three thoughts Juliette has about another person's misfortune, ONE of them is going to be, "And what does that mean for ME?" And that's why she's good TV.