Maddieville
Maddie has gone rogue and dyed her hair blonde. Two things: 1) I didn't even notice. Is it THAT different? and 2) Didn't she already do this once, when Teddy let her get highlights? Dying your hair mildly golden blonde is a very limp form of rebellion.
Tourville
Scarlett is All Business about the tour, so she doesn't like that Gunnar occasionally gazes at Erin during meetings -- especially when he's asking whether they'll finally all get off the bus and into some hotel rooms. Scarlett needs to get over caring where Gunnar rests his junk at night. With the exception of when his brother died, he's always been super professional, and in fact was the ONLY person keeping this band afloat when Scarlett was being petty about stuff and Avery was off marrying Juliette. If you can cut some hair, you can cut some slack.
Adolescenceville
Colt won't speak to Luke. He's also refusing to speak to the series of therapists Luke has paraded through their various hotel rooms. Because he's ragin' furious that Luke won't tell the truth about what happened to Oliver Hudson. He doesn't even care about Luke offering him the olive branch of honesty about how he and Gabriella are now seeing each other. He's probably right. Like, why didn't anyone notify AVERY, at least? If not about the truth, then about how Juliette is in rehab? What is he going to think when she's not on the tour anymore?
Cannot EVENville
Rayna just cannot with her bratty teen daughter, who slammed the door in Deacon's face and is fighting with Daphne and just generally... I mean, has Daphne been unpleasant now for more episodes than she's been nice? Also Rayna has been up for 24 hours working with Markus Keen, who is a little manic about wanting to rock around the clock. The only real vital intel here so far is that Layla is "at home in Connecticut with her family" -- the family she hardly spoke to until apparently right this second -- so I got nervous that they'd written her off. But the actress just tweeted that she had to take three episodes off to shoot the ill-fated Jem movie but that she'll be back in episode 11. So, hang in there. Layla and the Exes are, musically, kind of the only hot thing happening on this show.
Jingleville
I mean, even Avery isn't doing anything but record jingles for car dealerships. He's taking direction like "put some smile into it" and "play it like you really want to sell a car." Poor Avery. The rent is due TONIGHT, I guess. Perhaps if Rayna didn't have only one other working artist on her label, she could've found Avery another job.
Signville
YAY LOOK EVERYONE BEVERLY WILL BE WITH US ALWAYS HASHTAG NEVER FORGET.
Deacon gets really intense about renovating the bar, so much so that even when the workmen leave, he picks up a sledgehammer and tries to demo a wall himself. His former sponsor points out that this is Dry Drunk behavior, which is astute -- Deacon is acting like he's been drinking, because he's treating that addiction with another -- and tells him to GO HOME and stop ignoring his family. Rayna would like that, too, as her idea of co-parenting is not calling Deacon and having him say, "Whatever you decide is fine, hang on, let me go look at my dead sister's name again."
Whinyville
Doc MacStuffins YET AGAIN acts like a douche because he and Scarlett are playing phone tag. He accuses her of not trying hard enough, simply because the one time she reached him he's due in surgery. I am super, super tired of this story beat. There are only so many times he can be a jerk and then apologize and then act the EXACT same way all over again before I want to change the channel.
Songville
Avery discovers that Will has a dirty secret: He's been WRITING SONGS. OMG. ARREST THAT MAN. I guess Will is super ashamed that he's working out his feelings through music, and still refuses to perform any of them except for Avery. WILL. GO TO RAYNA. LET AVERY PRODUCE YOUR ALBUM. Problem solved. Look, I know he isn't ready to perform again yet, I get it. But that's got to be where we're headed, right?
Exesville
The Exes show is going merrily, but Scarlett is giving Erin a hard time about the quality of her sound management, so she keeps making Erin turn up the earpiece. Erin finally cranks it up so hard that the board shorts out, plunging the bar into darkness. Scarlett should consider whether this was a favor, because the shirt she's wearing with that sparkly skirt and the boots is SO HIDEOUS. It is SLEEPWEAR, and even then, only for, like, J.Lo.
Darkville
See? It's not good. And it's REALLY not Scarlett. Her whole Exes tour wardrobe has felt a little off-point. I know she can't wear cardigans on-stage, although that would be hilarious, but I'm not sure I buy her as a skintight-tank shimmier, either. She just wore OVERALL SHORTS, for Gap's sake.
The song, "Plenty Far To Fall," is really good, though. It's upbeat and fun.
Roadieville
This dude got a lot of scenes with Scarlett, just chattin', complimentin' her growth as a performer. And when the lights went out and she and Gunnar soldiered on acoustically, he got his own shot where he holds up his iPhone light. I hope we are not barreling toward Scarlett seeking solace with this person and/or getting stalked by him.
Bondingville
These two get to chatting about Rayna's nervousness about Maddie, and her own past being chucked out of her house by Powers Boothe, and blah blah blah it ends in Markus grabbing her hand "reassuringly," before they both jump away and he's all, "UH UM UHHHH LET'S WORK." I don't buy for a second that Rayna would have any sparks with this pipsqueak, but I guess I can't blame him for falling into The Hair's thrall.
Bratville
Maddie overheard Rayna saying that Sony wants to offer her a solo record deal, because of the clip of her on-stage with Juliette. Daphne then overhears HER bitching to Colt about how awful and selfish Rayna is. I would assume he'd be sick of this, except he is probably saying the same stuff about Luke, given that they are ungrateful teens and all. Anyway, Daphne is gutted and runs off wailing about how she's superfluous to everyone now. Maddie has the good grace to look mildly perturbed by this, but whatever, she has to eat the PB and apples before they turn.
Scoldingville
Scarlett assumes Gunnar won't deal with Erin's screw-up, but she stumbles onto him REALLY laying into her about how bad it makes him look -- like he just wanted his Hot Piece on tour with him -- because he vouched for her and she couldn't cope with the fiasco. Gunnar properly chastises Scarlett for being a jerk about his level of commitment, and then accepts Erin's apology and offers to help her learn how to use janky old sound boards. This gets everyone super hot and bothered, so they have sex. There's nothing like exploding electrical equipment to trip your wires, eh, Gunnar?
Parentingville
Rayna confronts Deacon about how she wants him to co-parent with her, not just defer to her. He admits he's just scared of screwing it up. She does not tell him that his stupid bar is ruining their lives because it's stupid and Bev is stupid. I'm sorry, I'm still just not over the fact that her shadow still looms so large after it loomed NOT AT ALL for such a long time.
Shirtville
I just wanted us all to marvel at the top again. It's like a camisole and a bib all rolled into one, for if your sexy fantasies involve being fed liquefied sweet potatoes from a very small spoon.
Heartbreakville
Avery takes Will to songwriter night at The Bluebird, with this revolutionary idea that MAYBE Will would be cool with OTHER people singing his songs so that he doesn't have to lay himself bare. Trouble is, Will realizes they'll all know it was his song and start buzzing about his sexuality. Also, Will just wrote a song for Luke Wheeler, and hated listening to someone else sing it, but maybe Avery wasn't paying attention to those scenes.
At any rate, Avery goes up and sings "History of my Heart" anyway, all about how a person can linger with you even after they're not with you anymore. and he starts crying. And somehow NOBODY in the audience tweets, "Guess Avery and Juliette are on the rocks," because there are NO gossipy bystanders on this show. Ever. i know Nashville is supposedly cooler than most places, but still. SOMEONE in there would have thought it, said it, and probably shared it.
Artistville
Rayna and Deacon decide that the answer to all their problems is -- FINALLY -- to sign Daphne and Maddie to Highway 65. (I would have enjoyed Rayna at least making a passing reference to Teddy getting a vote, but no.) Rayna says the deal is conditional on them doing it together. Daphne is DELIGHTED and lights up like a candle. Maddie is more startled, and later totally dumps mud on Daphne's parade float by pointing out that the only reason this is happening is so Rayna can control Maddie. Wow, child. You make "ungrateful" look like a compliment.
Also, NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. Of course she wants to control you a bit. Because, as she keeps telling you, music people are sleazy. She would rather you did not deal with gross people when you're only 16. It's a LITTLE nuts that she thinks Maddie is too young, so her answer is to sign Maddie AND Daphne, who is only, what, 10? But you do kinda have to sign them both. It's just unfortunate that Maddie thinks she's outgrown the sister act already.
HMMMMville
After some parenting victory sex, Rayna goes to take a shower. Markus Keen texts her a message saying it was a great talk they had and he sure hopes he helped her out, and Deacon gets all vexed and concerned. Deacon, you could crush this kid like a fly. Also, that's a pretty innocuous text. Seriously, know Deacon was being distracted, but I don't buy for a second that Rayna would be all hot for this dingbat. if Thumb Ring McGee ends up posing ANY real threat to Deacon and Rayna, that is almost a dealbreaker for me. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.