Arlander
I am a nerd, so I took a screen grab of Jamie's cousin's house so that I could look at the wood floors. But I had to lighten it first, and when I did, I noticed it started to look more like a painting. Isn't that cool? I've decided it's called Le Nettoyage (The Clean-Up), and it's the servants trying to repair the damage from a booze-fueled brawl. I did not have to use my imagination to come up with that, either, as that's exactly what is happening.
Whoopslander
Jamie et al were taken to the Bastille, where poor Alex Randall remains, unable to convince the authorities that he didn't rape Mary. When asked for details about her attackers, Claire recalls them sounding upper-crust and dressing nicely, but doesn't mention anything about the birthmark on the hand, so I suspect we're in for a scene in which she spots it on somebody and has copious flashbacks. However, when she recalls "La Dame Blanche," Jamie admits that may be his fault: He was getting his bagpipes fluffed by a couple prostitutes, and he wanted to fend them off so he could stay true to Claire while still appearing manly. His genius solution was to imply that Claire is a witch. Claire and I are equally dumbfounded that this is the best excuse he could manage. I honestly feel like "My wife is skilled in the Phallic Arts and you could never live up to her proficiency" would have been a very acceptable excuse. Also, by these archaic standards of reasoning, I'm not sure how "Oops, I Married A Witch" makes Jamie seem like he's brimming with testosterone.
Guiltlander
Murtagh feels deeply responsible for the attack; Jamie tells him to stop it. They're more concerned with the Bonnie Prince leaving the party with St. Germain, aka Dr. Doofenschmurtz without the sense of whimsy. So Murtagh has to start following St. Germain around to see if he twirls his imaginary mustache in any inconvenient directions.
Eggplantlander
I wish we'd get some grumbling from Claire about how much time she has to spend getting dressed now. And how these coats are mashing her boobs into a spicy paste. Of course, she looks spectacular in them; I just feel like their adjustment period has been surprisingly rapid and uncomplicated. I realize I may be the only viewer in the world who wants to know things like where she's getting all those clothes, and with what money, and how her closet looks, and where she keeps her hats, and how long it takes her to pull it all together. I am minutiae-obsessed. This is why I should probably read the books. Where did I put that library card...
Fraillander
Poor Mary. She's writing a statement exonerating Alex Randall, while twittering to Claire about how thrilling it will be to marry Alex now that her pig fiancé has dumped her for being sullied. (She also admits to feeling changed and tentative after the horrid experience, which is quite sad to hear in her tiny voice with her slight stammer.) This immediately has Claire grappling with whether to deliver the letter that would spring Alex from prison -- because, she reasons, if Alex and Mary do get hitched, Frank will cease to exist. Because whatever it was that pushed Mary's fiancé out of the picture before, it clearly didn't happen in time for her to marry Alex; now Claire unwittingly, prematurely cleared the way for their union (because Mary would not have been out walking with Claire in the original timeline, and thus would not have been raped). And Claire clearly sees Frank as an innocent victim of all her meddling. It's like her long, drawn-out apology for time-traveling herself into a new sex life.
Pensivelander
This painting, I call, "Woman Takes The Measure Of Her Inner Douchelord And Decides Those Flames Must Die."
Solutionlander
So, resplendent in a blue cape, Claire uses the letter to free Alex -- and then tells him that, given that Sandringham has fired him for being tainted by scandal, he will have a transient life in poverty as he struggles to find new work. She says it would be unfair to impose that on Mary, and Alex -- while coughing pathetically, which probably means he dies of a wasting disease (and maybe that's why he didn't get Mary the first time either) -- agrees that he couldn't do that to his love. So he leaves.
Ergo, basically, Claire is fine with making MARY the collateral damage of her time-traveling sex upgrade, but not Frank? Claire, you are trading one life for another here, for entirely selfish response. There is less nobility in that than you believe. While you are consigning Frank to a life of nonexistence -- he will not know the difference, as he will not be born -- you are consigning the other, a frail young rape victim, to a life of being married to a rapist. Who, separately, also seems to be a homosexual (I'm not clear on where the books stand on his sexuality.) Which is fine, but also something that might adversely affect an innocent young girl who doesn't have a modern concept or understanding of sex or sexuality. She's not equipped to understand what any of that means. This all ought to give Claire more pause, no? Or is she worried that Frank not being born will zap HER from the timeline ALSO, because he's the reason she was in Inverness? This isn't voiced, but... see, this is why we don't write time-travel books.
Bonnielander
The Prince drops by the wine business and tells Jamie that, while his English backers have dropped out, he can get hold of $10,000 pounds thanks to his new friend, Le Comte St. Germain. It seems Le Comte has secured -- through what I assume is very dubious means indeed -- a shipment of port wine, and the sale of those wares will net mad profits for everyone. The Prince chooses Jamie to facilitate the sale. And -- "Mark me," he says, of course -- this all means God's plan to have a Catholic king on the English throne can finally come to fruition. And ISN'T IT WONDERFUL, etc. He is extremely unsubtle about his intentions. It's a wonder the English didn't just drop a harpsichord on his head and call it a bloodless win.
Memelander
For your meme generators. Jamie manages to muster measured enthusiasm for the Prince's plans, while secretly thinking, "Someday Imma strangle you with my kilt strap."
Comtelander
At the arranged meeting at Madame Elise's, which is basically being treated like the Cheers of 18th century Paris, Le Comte and Jamie both smile their way through an exchange that drips with malice. They agree never to speak or see each other until Jamie finds a buyer for the port shipment, and slap each other about the ears with some insults. Le Comte's expression says, "I've picked my teeth with haggis bigger than yours."
Hatelander
And Jamie's says, "I eagerly await the day I turn your bladder into a musical instrument."
Apostlelander
I know how much Fug Nation cares about cutlery. Not that this is exactly that: Jamie gives Claire a set of Apostle spoons, which were a popular Christening gift until the 17th century; WWikipedia says the tradition did live on in some circles until the mid-1900s, and Jamie says they were handed down from within his family, so this probably tracks. Apparently each have a handle unique to a particular apostle, and all the associated symbolism of that person. I didn't see if this is a set of 12 or 13 (the thirteenth frequently being Jesus). But I wonder how the props department wrangled this one -- real sets are rare, so did they make it, or cobble a set together figuring that nobody would see half the spoons to know that they're not all unique. I love props. Props to the props.
Landscapinglander
I am having real feelings of lawn inadequacy.
Horselander
Jamie is at Versailles for a horse show, helping the Duke of Sandringham pick his steeds. And of course, as Jamie walks around the animal commenting on his sturdy build and fine legs and whatnot, the Duke of Sandringham gazes at Jamie and thinks much the same thing. The show doesn't beat us over the head with that, necessarily, but I sensed it was there. He IS Old Willie the Arse Bandit, after all, and Jamie is in full kilt here. He'd be mad not to want to rob that.
Flowerlander
I am not a big fan of brown clothes, particularly, so it surprises me that I like this. She's a total vision. It's just so crisp and luxe.
Annaliselander
Annalise turns up, and she and Claire go for a walk on which she waxes poetic about what a delectable creature Jamie used to be and how changed he is -- basically, she says, "When I knew him, he was a boy, and you've made him into a man." Claire bites back any kind of retort about how her scarf looks like she just got off a plane in Honolulu and got lei'd for free.
I love that mustard yellow on Claire, but with the gloves she looks like she is wearing rubber gloves. No greater curse in King Louis's court than dishpan hands, truly.
WHAT HO SCOUNDRELlander
AND THEN. Black Jack Randall lopes over, to Claire's frozen astonishment. Claire tries to get away by saying she's unwell, but Annalise just offers to go get Jamie, leaving Claire with Jack. He reveals that he's there to convince the Duke of Sandringham to reconsider his position on Alex, and I must ask: How much time has passed here?!? It's not 2016. Jack can't get to Paris from London in one day on the Chunnel. Although if he pops over to the old stones and zaps himself forward, he will certainly appreciate the sexual innuendo inherent in being shot through a very long tube at high speeds.
Lustlander
But seriously, Tobias Menzies is a much richer actor than St. Germain's. He doesn't stomp around beaming at his own mischief. He is rapt, salivating, overcome with the sight of Claire and the knowledge that Jamie is near, menacing, composed, enigmatic... he's all those things, somehow, all in the same moment. And seeing him is a nice jolt in what's been a bit of a slog of a season. Visually it's stunning, but plot-wise I feel like they're just moving beads along a chain, checking off milestones.
Jack breathes that Claire should appreciate the pure, perfect absurdity of a world that would let them cross paths again at Versailles of all places. He also reminds Claire that it's unlawful to draw swords in the king's presence, so it will mean death for Jamie if he kills Jack on the spot. "The King," he hisses. "FUCK THE KING," Claire says. Then Jack bows...
Louislander
... because the king is right behind them. He doesn't appear to have heard her, though. Hey, maybe he would have assumed she was making a suggestion. I bet Louis loves an orgy.
Triolander
And then Jamie turns up, rigid with his very best behavior, and he and Jack are civil while barely clocking each other with their eyes. I love that Jamie is dressed more as a highlander here -- I'm not sure why he's suddenly in more casual attire, but I am not angry at his kilts. I am here for more kilts.
Jokeslander
Louis mocks the English, verbally shits all over Jack's uniform, then strongly implies that the way to save Alex is to beg right then and there in front of him. When Randall goes down on one knee, Louis flips on him and laughs and effectively says, "Don't beg to ME, dummy. Oh, man, the English are THE WORST, am I right?!?" And everyone cackles.
Randalllander
Black Jack has now been mildly emasculated in front of the very slab of man-meat he most craves, and he is not happy about it. "I will never drink Perrier again," he is thinking.
Duellander
Claire takes her leave, citing pregnancy sickness, and Jamie is allowed to escort her away. But then he scampers back and speaks to Jack, who briefly touches Jamie's pec before they bow to each other. Jamie has challenged Jack to a duel, and Jack has accepted. I don't know if the pec touching is a traditional part of the deal, but let's face it, nobody would be able to resist copping a quick feel.
Allurelander
I assume you are all photoshopping yourselves into this and then printing it out and putting it on your pianos.
Furylander
Things are getting testy up in here, though. Jamie is glorying in his opportunity to kill Randall, until Claire asks him not to because it means Frank will cease to exist. Jamie can't believe his ears -- that Claire would cut away the one thing that has made him feel whole again, all in the name of saving some other man. He doesn't seem as bothered by her allegiance to Frank as I would have expected, and she doesn't call into question whether Frank being Erased From Existence will subsequently take her out of the picture too. Mostly, Jamie is just enraged that she's barring him from fulfilling himself. He has Revenge Blue Balls.
Weeplander
Claire offers this compromise: Wait a year, so that Frank might be born, then she'll help kill Randall herself. Honestly, though, how does she know her actions haven't ALREADY disrupted the timeline? How does she know that prematurely splitting Mary from both Alex AND her fiancé hasn't already set Mary upon a different path? Or that it will even still only take a year for her to have a baby with Black Jack?
Claire then levels Jamie with this: that she's saved his life twice, and he owes her a life. He is truly appalled that she's claiming the life of Black Jack Randall and his progeny as the one he must repay her. And that because he is a man who cannot bear not to settle his debts, she's hitting him where he lives. He very slowly asks her if she's VERY VERY sure she wants to make this request because there is no going back now. Claire sniffles and says yes. Jamie agrees to the one-year delay, then refuses to let her touch him. Oh, Claire. Your hands will be so lonely without his man flesh.
Also, if we're going to get into Claire's mistaken belief that she knows everything about the timeline: How does she know that Black Jack Randall, in this year of his life before he becomes a father, doesn't murder one Jamie Fraser in cold blood? How does she know that by letting him live, she isn't dooming JAMIE to death? She doesn't. I just kind of wish Jamie had thrown all that at her. This is not as simple as making sure Jack and Mary get to the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance, kid.