Aria

Camp being an important plot point in this episode, it is apt that Aria is wearing a tank top that she may have MADE at camp once, along with neon earrings that I BELIEVE are suede but just read like giant shoelaces. If she wears those at the next Teen Nick awards and tells people it's dried slime, she can avoid getting doused in the real thing. Although of course, my personal reference for this outfit is Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba, if he were a teen in 1986.

The Liars and Caleb

I am, however, surprised how much I like Spencer's little insect sweater, considering... you know, insects.

Hanna

This is ALSO a cute shirt, if slightly shapeless. I love that Hanna was just banging around the house in this -- although, full marks, because there is a later scene in which she and Spencer have a movie night and they're both in casual long-sleeved tees and comfy pants and they're not crazy-accessorized, which was very realistic.

Spencer, Hanna, Half of Emily, and Aria

Okay: Spencer's sweater is fine, but how WIDE does Hanna look in that? Ashley Benson is many things, but wide is not one of them. Neither is squat, and yet this does that for her, too. I would wax agitated about whether Ashley has a SECRET NEMESIS except that these are exceptions rather than the rule, and also, LOOK AT ARIA WHAT IS THAT.

Aria

Hi, Emily. You are stunning. Hi, Aria. You are also so pretty, but dear God, you look like a vintage store emptied its bladder on your body.

THE PONCHO

Hanna can't even look at her. Hanna is choosing instead to look at her own unflattering monstrosity, because it is preferable to staring at Aria and resisting the urge to ask how her grandmother is enjoying her medical marijuana card.

Spencer and Emily

Emily is thinking, "When did Spencer become a newsie?"

Aria and Hanna

Aria is gloating, "Today my sweater has ACTUAL sleeves," while Hanna is just enjoying that she accessorized nicely for the day she gets to eat bread with her salad.

Aria

This was a good outfit -- she paired it with a leather jacket. I actually think Emily would've looked hot in this, too. It's just a good outfit. Sequins, man. Sequins and leather. And that hair, and those perfectly shaped eyebrows. It's all of a piece.

Spencer

I wish you could see this better. I am concerned about Spencer's red slacks. She doesn't strike me as a red slacks kind of girl. Red KNICKERS with lace-up boots to the knee? Yes. Red plus-fours, as if she's going golfing with a photo of the late great Payne Stewart pinned to her panties? Yes. Slacks, no.

The Liars

Spencer and Emily's drab ensembles aside, everyone here looks pretty good -- this is the scene where Hanna realizes the entire school thinks she sent out nude photos of her stepsister, and I love that the show put Hanna in scarlet for this, both because of the Scarlet Letter pariah predicament she might well end up in, AND because the scarlet letter itself was, aptly, an A. Damn, Mandi Line. Your science is tight.

Fug the Show: Pretty Little Liars, episode 2-19

They should have called this episode "Aria's Unspeakable Poncho." It will make the groundhog run back down his hole for sure. But before we get to that, we have Aria's Hilarious Earrings and Hanna's Mad-Crazy Unflattering Red Thing. So let's do this. Plot: Whatever. No, okay -- although this felt like filler it had some important nuggets: Nobody except her beard, Scraggle, knows Aria and Ezra are still hooking up. Aria's dad tries to get Ezra "promoted" to a campus in another city, on the same night Ezra had to bag on Aria so she and Scraggle spent the entire night playing air hockey (and bonding, obvs). She sees a bruise on his body but he blows it off. Spencer is sad-faced about Toby being gone. Hanna thinks her friends all hate her, when really, they're all huddling with Caleb to pick apart A's cell phone behind Hanna's back (because she wants Caleb to stop, to protect him). When A threatens to expose Hanna's mom's bank theft if Caleb doesn't stop digging around on the cell phone, Hanna smells a rat, and eventually Spencer confesses. They make up, but not before a tearful Hanna tells Caleb about her mother and thus why "the person who's phone you're working on" is blackmailing her. Emily's mom visits and they go to dinner with Maya, who acts like a jackass; apparently she's pissed that Emily's mother got her sent to reform camp for pot, or whatever, and Emily is jealous that Maya dated a guy because she feels like now she's competing against twice the dating pool. They make up, exchange "I love you"s, and then ostensibly have the sex. Meanwhile, Hanna's bitchy stepsister arrives in Rosewood, and they have declared a truce that Hanna does not trust. Spencer recognizes her from an old camp photo -- I thought it was going to be that she had 800 lbs and several different noses, but no, she just got bug bites, or something. She shows Hanna, and tells Stepsister that if she doesn't lay off Hanna then that photo will go viral. Instead, A snaps a picture of Stepsister naked in the school locker room and sends it to everyone in Hanna's address book, so now everyone thinks Hanna struck the first blow. Sucks to be poor ol' Hanna. Oh, and Caleb gets harassed by Blind Jenna's cop boyfriend, just... because. Why do people hang out with Jenna? She's so unpleasant. She makes you threaten people and ropes you into schemes. She must be dynamite in the sack.