Aria and Spencer
I knew there was no way Aria would come back WEAKER after finishing last season in a glorified tutu and then whatever the hell this is. And it's true. She busted out overalls. SKIRT overalls. WITH A BRA. It might be a bikini? But it doesn't matter. She and Spencer still look like they're on a milk break at their 1990s farm.
Spencer and Aria
We need to pause for a moment: Why is Aria's face so red? I thought at first maybe it was an artistic choice (flushed with fire and booze!), but then it was like that the whole episode. I think A may have sabotaged her blush brush. IS NOTHING SACRED, A?
The Liars
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. The episode kicked off with the girls sitting around the fire drinking and recapping their summers, and getting prank A texts. Aria is wearing jeans that I think I saw on sale at Anthropologie, and boots she may have found on sale in Spencer's closet. Whereas Hanna looks like she spent the summer hand-dyeing her own t-shirts and watching Charlie Brown cartoons.
Hanna
It appears, however, that Hanna's shirt is cut open at the sides and then tied at the bottom. Like a makeshift sail, as if she's about to cruise herself out on the choppy waters of Lake Gravedigger.
Hanna
Well done, Hanna -- it would have been bad form to belt your dress OVER its ZZ Top beard. (I don't hate it, actually, but wouldn't all that fringe be a liability? Yes, you could use it to set up a very effective car wash for Hot Wheels, but then later it'd get into your food and get sucked into the back of your hairdryer and then end up getting you killed when you walked past a jet engine? IT COULD HAPPEN. YOU DON'T KNOW.)
Hanna
She changed into something way more colorful for this shopping spree, though. I actually think that jacket is crazy cute. The whole look is good, although I'm a bit distracted by the literal chains around her neck, dragging her down LIKE SO MANY LIES.
Hanna
Also, this is not the most considerate thing to wear to visit your incarcerated, catatonic erstwhile friend and stalker in her mental hospital, as if to remind her of all the cheerful shopping she can't do because she spent so much time trying to kill and/or mess with you and your posse. Crime has CONSEQUENCES, children. I also adore that Hanna removed the giant chain. I assume she was just trying it on at the store and thus left it there, but I prefer thinking that she decided a massive shackle was too on-the-nose for poor crazy Mona.
Hanna
Should she really be allowed to bring a purse and a bunch of accessories to a mental patient? What if she left something there and then Mona hung herself? That won't happen, obviously, because Mona Crazypants is too entertaining, but in real life that would be verboten, no?
The Liars
Props to Ashley Benson for getting through this entire scene without dragging a throw-pillow over her chest. Anyway, we're back to Overalls City. And at some point here everyone decides to leave and go someplace else...
The Liars
... which leads to Hanna dragging that dress on OVER her bathing suit -- logical, I guess -- and Aria unhooking her overalls, putting on a tank top that only marginally covers her more than the bra did, and then rehooking them. That is a lot of work when she could've just thrown on a hoodie. I'm just saying. God, remember when it was the '90s and we'd wear overalls and a snap-crotch bodysuit? Was there ever a more annoying outfit for public bathroom use?
Aria
Seriously, for a second, I was like, "Hi, Brenda Walsh, what are you doing here? Did Emily Valentine try to burn your float again?"
Aria
Also, Aria's just with her buddies. Hanna didn't bother to take off her bikini top (thus restoring the dress to the braless -- or strapless bra'd -- condition in which she originally wore it). Why did Aria? If you were in such a hurry to get wherever you were going (something to do with recreating Mona's lair), why change? Girl, you have a lot to learn about efficiency. THIS is why A is so many steps ahead of you. He/She doesn't MEAN to be; you just keep being sartorially POKEY.