Hanna
Hanna wears this shirt A LOT in this episode, with that unflattering skirt and belt, and it must have wounded her deeply because she's in a terrible mood. No amount of fake desserts can solve her problems. (Has she tried real desserts? It's more fun, at least.) She yells at Caleb for digging into her mother's whereabouts on the night of Wilden's murder, then frowns her way through an encounter at Mom's office, where the cops open up Wilden's safety deposit box and find lots of cash and a gun. Everyone seems to assume Sydney Andrews has opened this box before, but she swears not. There is also a comment about the bank no longer encouraging people to store cash in their boxes and the cops make an "Mmm hmm" noise, which makes me wonder if we're not done with that whole thing where Sydney stole from a client. Sydney DOES get banned from the vault, also, so.... basically she's a sad clown.
The Liars
The cops, Sean Faris and now also Roma Maffia, are of course stalking the Liars through town just like Wilden did. Roma is like, 'If I had dressed like that for school, my mother would have killed me." Roma, you don't know the half of it. This is aggressively normal for these girls. I wish Sean had chimed in with, "You think THIS is bad? You should've seen what Hanna wore to the funeral."
Hanna
Hanna later changes into a mess of a fake newsprint shirt, which is about as well-made as that prop in Mannequin that I went off on earlier. She correctly compliments Roma Maffia's hot shoes, though. That is a good way to get the cops to trust you. Because certainly hanging around them asking leading questions about people they're investigating is not going to inspire much confidence.
Roma Maffia
Speaking of, Roma Maffia is not that impressed with the way Hanna is trying to ask leading questions about the contents of Wilden's box, and murder, and What It All Means. None of this is helping, Hanna. It NEVER helps to ask shifty-eyed questions to a cop who can see right through you and wears great shoes.
Aria and Spencer
Spencer is being all drab now that Toby is so depressed. Can we send him back to A so that she gets fabulous again? Not even Aria's lightning bolts can cheer her up. Aria, meanwhile, is dodging specifics about her new boyfriend, because even she can't muster up the energy to care.
Aria
In fact, Aria tries so hard to strap herself into this relationship that she employs an unorthodox series of actual belts. She and Jake run into Ezra's son Malcolm outside a bookstore, and her past all unravels, so she spills to Jake the whole sordid tale about Ezra. Jake runs to the cops and has Ezra fired again because it's no less creepy now than it was the first time. ... Sigh, of course he doesn't. Instead, he tells her that she's not over Ezra yet and tries to get her to think deep thoughts about whether, much like one of his students, she's really terribly INJURED or just a little hurt. Aria has no idea what this means because she has never once paid attention in class.
Toby
Toby finds his mother's old doctor, and of course, he's senile and in a home. He talks on and on about the air around people, and in his insane rantings, he tells Toby to tell his mother not to hang out with that blonde girl anymore because she has bad air. Toby infers that Alison -- or someone -- was hanging around with his mother before she died. Guys, Alison De Laurentis REALLY got around for a kid who was 15 and couldn't drive.
Hanna
Hanna confronts her mother -- again -- but this time deploys a really figure-damaging shirt in the hopes of distracting her mother from her lies and luring the truth out. It doesn't work. Sydney just keeps saying that stuff won't blow back on Hanna, but she won't outright tell Hanna what the hell she was doing when she clearly was not in New York. I hope Hanna throws this in her face the next time Hanna gets caught in a white lie, or even a navy blue one.
Melissa
Spencer decides to leave the mask of Melissa's face for her sister to find, and tapes the whole thing. Nothing happens. What did she think this video was going to be useful for, anyway? Melissa looks at the mask, hates it as much as we all do, and then flees. That is not evidence of anything. They shut off the camera and follow her straight to Creepy Mask Maker's house of ceramic lies.
Emily
By the way, everyone still thinks Emily's mother abuses her, and Emily still wears boring separates.
Caleb
And I love Caleb, who here intervenes with the police and helps pretend Hanna's mother isn't home. His skulls on his shirt are so half-hearted -- like, he wants to think he's a bad-ass, but really, he's a big cuddly goof. I heard he and Ashley Benson are dating, and if that's true, I'm surprised it took this long.
Aria
While Spencer follows Melissa around, Aria breaks into the Mask Shack wearing pants with mismatched legs. AGAIN. Listen, I am all for individualization, but if my legs think I am trying to hold back their true personalities by stuffing them into identical pant-legs, then they can bloody well start shaving themselves, and MAYBE we'll talk.
Aria
Aria is also wearing a giant sneeze of glitter on her coat. It's super ineffective if stealth was her goal -- that sucker is like a headlight. NONE of this is subtle. Honey, if you're going prowling, CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES. How is it possible that they don't have actual designated prowling outfits by now?
Aria
Aria does, however, find an entire row of mint-condition Alison De Laurentis mask molds. She should sell them on eBay.
Creepy Mask Maker
This guy marinates in some sleaze while telling Aria that Alison owed him money -- presumably, a third party ordered the masks, and both he and Alison needed to be paid, or something? And Alison wanted her money so she stole some of his and ran off in a car someone else was driving -- which makes sense, because she died before she got her license, which everyone seems to forget. THIS GIRL WAS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DO ANY OF THIS EXOTIC SCHEMING. SHE WOULD HAVE HAD TO START WHEN SHE WAS ELEVEN.
Alison
However, she wore a nice floral shirt to do all this dirty work, and that's really what matters.
Spencer
Spencer catches Melissa destroying all the masks of her own face, and Melissa reveals some things: a) The mysterious Red Coat GIrl pulled her and someone else out of some old cabin fire that I only slightly remember, which she says that Wilden set (I think this was from the end of last season); b) she thinks Alison is still alive, and c) she WAS on the Halloween train, just like everyone else in this town. She also tells Spencer something about how "this whole thing" will unravel in terrible ways if Spencer keeps pushing, so who the hell knows what all this is going to mean in the end. Melissa also should've removed her coat, by the way, because again, you're not going to go unnoticed if you're destroying things in a brightly striped blazer.
A
Oh, and also, A crosses Melissa off the list of his/her potential identities. Which is totally something Melissa would do if she were A, but whatever. For now they all decide to believe her, because presumably the show can't get Torrey De Vito on contract until they decide it's going to end and they can run the train off the cliff.
A
And of course, the button on the show is that A dug up all the masks/molds/whatever that Melissa broke and is piecing them back together. Oh, A. I enjoy a person who wears all black clothes and gloves even while at home eating dinner and using the computer and doing art projects.
So in sum, not many noteworthy clothes, except for Aria's, but hopefully some people will sniff a little more fashion glue this week.