The Liars
When we left our intrepid heroines, they were in Ravenswood, hot on the scent of A (whom they know is a guy, and who we know is, at least momentarily, Ezra) after finding his Ali Den and realizing there was some dumb-ass costume party he might be attending. So they reach into their piggy banks and rent really expensive, elaborate costumes, with all the money Aria makes from her nonexistant photo-assistant job, and Hanna makes from how her mother embezzled funds to cover being totally broke, and Spencer makes from stealing her parents' credit cards I assume, and Emily makes from being gainfully employed even though does anyone else remember that SHE HAS NO HOUSE ANYMORE AND MAYBE THEY NEED THE MONEY FOR THAT.
Aria
Aria looks deliciously like a Moulin Rouge courtesan who playfully stole her suitor's hat and then found him in the sex swing with another man.
Spencer
Spencer looks like a posh aristocratic detective -- perhaps a young Jessica Fletcher, who even in her youth was taking trips everywhere and having people die all over town while she solves the crimes and then writes novels on her beloved typewriter.
Emily
Emily looks like the schoolteacher at the speakeasy who doesn't want any of her students' parents to recognize her.
Hanna
And Hanna looks like the lounge singer from the other side of the tracks who doesn't want everyone to know she's super poor, but can't seem to hide it, either.
The Liars
I think I got it right. Hanna ACTUALLY might be the lounge singer from the wrong side of the tracks who got on-board the Titanic as a friend's plus-one, and is borrowing all her clothes for dinner. Emily, in full body, looks like a twenties dominatrix acting out some guy's No-Nonsense Lady Business Owner fantasy. It must have been fun to work on costumes that were actually allowed to look HELLA costumey.
Ezra
And Ezra is skulking around town looking creepy. There are a bunch of shenanigans involving characters that end up on "Ravenswood" that I am not going to bother with, also, but Ezra does call Aria from across the way and glare at her while he pretends he's still in Rosewood. It will be hard to argue that he's not totally creepy now. It's a great choice for A because it was impossible to root for him and Aria to be a couple.
Miranda
So, this actress (whom Make It Or Break It fans know as Kelly Parker) gets a cozy coat for her bus ride to Ravenswood with Caleb. She's going to meet her family, and there's a creepy guy on the bus with them, and yada yada yada she and Caleb are best friends now because they have the same haircut.
Liars In Wind Tunnel
Let's just marvel at the size of Aria's corset/cummerbund thing. It's like a third of Lucy Hale's full height.
Miranda
Anyway, after some shenanigans involving Hanna trapped in a creepy house's phone booth and the others getting spooked by messages and wind and slamming doors and stuff -- it's all semi-confusing but meaningless thrills until the end -- Nicole finds Hanna and helps her, and yada yada yada Hanna tells Caleb to stay in Ravenswood to protect Nicole. ( I basically mentally yada yada yada'd most of this episode.) It makes no sense -- Hanna would never give up Caleb -- and yet it does make sense because Hanna is secure in Caleb (I watched the second Ravenswood and they were still exchanging I Love Yous on the phone). Mostly, I don't know why this show took its only really awesome, charismatic, cool lead guy (I like Ezra too actually but his storyline was just too ooky until now) and made him leave town, but I guess he'll have more to do over there on Ravenswood, where he can be the lead actor. I'm just not looking forward to the parade of bland, interchangeable guys who'll inevitably replace him.
Meg Foster
Meg Foster says they shouldn't be there yada yada yada she's on the spinoff.
Three Liars
The girls ask her about Ali and yada yada yada Aria grows antlers.
Alison
Alison Di Laurentis is alive and yada yada yada Alison Di Laurentis is alive. SERIOUSLY. They revealed that in a standalone holiday episode. What if people missed this, or accidentally deleted it? They will be SO MAD when they watch the previously-on at the beginning of next season and realize shit got REAL. Basically, Ali is alive, she's afraid, she wants to come home, she isn't going to because the show would be over, etc.
Creepy
And Ezra finds them and Ali disappears, so as the others stare after her in total shock, he stares at where she was standing, wondering what he missed and who he's going to have to gut like a fish.
Caleb
And then Caleb and Miranda each stumble upon graves in Ravenswood with their names and photos on them and yada yada yada Tyler Blackburn has a new job. So if you want to know how THAT goes, you'll have to watch the spinoff that has now been airing for a while. All I know is, they'd better protect Caleb, because I forgot to follow him over there and I want him back someday.