Aria
We start with Aria, who -- unfortunately -- gave me the clearest shot of her outfit while chugging her prop coffee (which can't have been actual coffee, because I don't know if I've ever seen anyone full-on guzzle that like it's a beer at a kegger). It's a promising start -- that is a really great jacket and purse, and I'm not averse to the dress underneath it, either. Aria! What's wrong with you? Sensible outfits are not your calling card, girl.
Aria
Fortunately, there appears to be some kind of toga drape on the front, and she's stuffed her feet into cement boots, so that's at least something to discuss. If you don't watch, Aria usually mixes and matches a bunch of crazy stuff. She's a little rock and roll, a little hippie, a little vintage. Not snug green dresses and wedges. Maybe she borrowed this from Hanna. Speaking of...
Hanna and Aria
Hanna is basically wearing a dress made of a really elaborate 18-Hour Bra. I do like Aria's necklace, though. It reminds me of handcuffs. Now THAT feels a bit more like Aria. You know she and her English teacher boyfriend busted those out and played "Officer and Statutory Rapist" a few times, mostly for fun but also possibly to prepare him for what would happen when everyone figured out he was banging his 17-year old student. Note to Ezra Fitz: Nobody cares how good your poetry is when you're nibbling on jailbait.
Hanna
The rest of Hanna's outfit, meanwhile reveals some zippers and a front that looks suspiciously like an apron over something lacy. Also, look at the size of that bag. That is ENORMOUS. She is in high school. What could she possibly need to keep in there? Her phone is always out because she's getting nefarious texts from A, and presumably she has a locker. Maybe she uses it to keep the pants her teachers will no doubt request that she put on to avoid turning into an impromptu health class lesson on feminine hygiene.
Spencer and Emily
Spencer's shirt looks like she pulled it out of Hanna's giant bag. It's called ironing, kid.
Spencer
But I do love those boots. Spencer is always rocking awesome lace-up boots. I simultaneously need a pair and suspect I cannot wear them with equal aplomb.
Spencer
And the short-sleeved coat is REALLY cute. This is one of those days where I decide I'm a Spencer. Other than looks and body type, it might even be true. I WAS sort of uptight about my grades in high school, and I totally hooked up with all my sister's boyfriends and then got blackmailed about it by some jackhole with unlimited texting. Obviously. Didn't we all?
Hanna
Although I don't hate it, this is a wee more Chico's than I usually expect from Hanna, who started out as the show's Miss Popularity fashion plate. Then again, back then she was shoplifting a lot, and got caught. Maybe she had to work a couple less policed corners of the boulevard, as it were.
Aria
Aria changed into skintight black jeans, brown boots, and a greenish shirt, not knowing she'd end up wearing that outfit for the pivotal scene in which Ezra Fitz tells her parents that he's in love with a) their daughter, who is b) his ex-student, and c) underage, while d) he is old enough to be teaching at a local college and therefore has to be PLENTY old enough to be both self-aware and self-disgusted about boffing a high-schooler. COME ON, SHOW. I love you, but this plotline always freaked me out, and only works because the actor playing Ezra does a really good job making him likable in spite of his inability to do math and/or have legal sex.
Aria
And when Aria's parents are grossed out and unhappy about this reveal, we're supposed to think they are jerks who don't understand true love or have open minds. Sadly, Aria probably won't ever wear this shirt again, because it will have bad juju attached to it. She could mail it to me. I'd give it a home. Things are a little snug in my closet right now but at least it wouldn't be bogged down with SECRETS.