> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fug The Show: Revenge recap, episode 306 - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-revenge-episode-306/ - Published: 2013-11-06T17:00:05.000Z - Updated: 2014-03-01T04:25:53.000Z - Author: Jessica - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35 ## Ghost in the Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3589.xml) It's really hard to be engaged to someone for whom you have nothing but contempt and despite the fact that, last week, Emily told Nolan she was going to try to be nicer to Daniel (and managed to get their engagement back on track), she is totally cold and unpleasant to him when they wake up. Daniel is a mouthbreather who is not very bright, but he isn't a terrible person -- which is born out by the events of the rest of this episode -- and I kind of want more for him and for him to break it off with Emily before the Wedding Of The Century. ## Beyond the Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3590.xml) It IS nice to see Emily wearing shorts and a tank top like a normal person, but her reaction to seeing the (admittedly) destructive debris of Patrick And Nolan's Night Of Love is a very dramatic one: She decides he's dead. I guess this is what happens when your entire life revolves around ruining people's lives. ## Young At Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/is-nolan-dead.xml) The ABC Promo Gurus LOVED this shot, as it was in all the ads for this episode. Personally, I knew there was NO WAY they were going to have Patrick, say, steal Nolan's kidneys or whatever -- at least, not in a fatal way -- if only because Gabriel Mann is Fan Favorite, and often the writers' best bet when it comes to delivering expositional dialogue in a non-klunky way. Emily reacts with predictable horror for someone who DOESN'T go around putting every single person she likes in terrible danger all the time. ## Revenge Falls ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3594.xml) Don't worry. Nolan is fine (and naked) and totally in love with Sexy Mysterious Patrick, who literally leaves at the end of this season without me ever figuring out what he's sincere about. I can't decide if that was a performance choice or what. ANYWAY. Emily freaks out that Nolan is dating the guy who tried to kill Conrad (and who DID kill a priest inadvertently) and basically forbids him to continue to bang a criminal despite the fact that SHE HERSELF IS ALSO A CRIMINAL and SHE HERSELF IS ALSO BANGING A MURDERER in the form of Aidan who STABBED HER MENTOR WITH A SWORD like three weeks ago. ## The Erlenmeyer Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3598.xml) Meanwhile, across town, Jack has allowed an 18 year old girl to direct the re-vamp of the pub that's been in his family for years despite the fact that technically she's really not even allowed to be behind the bar there. Also, yes, when you need a rehaul, you should totally turn to a formerly drug-addled and currently allegedly bereft teen who once looked for medical advice on a website called [TEENAGE MOMMY](https://gofugyourself.com/fug-the-show-revenge-the-final-four-hours-sorry-05-2013/img%5F2838?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io) and who, as far as you know, JUST KILLED A PRIEST IN TRYING TO OFF HER OWN DAD. She clearly makes GREAT DECISIONS. (Don't worry; Jack finds out Charlotte isn't a murderer, she is just dumb enough to CLAIM to be a murderer, which is almost EVEN WORSE decision-making in my book.) ## Die Hand Die Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3606.xml) Everyone is called over to breakfast at Grayson Manor, and the table is fully set despite the fact that I cannot for the life of me guess who will be taking the other seats. Victoria and Conrad are at the heads of the table; Patrick, Emily, Daniel on one side; Charlotte on the other. Is one orange juice glass filled for the soul of poor dead Declan and the other for the real estate agent who has just sold Grayson Manor to a Saudi Prince, news which throws EVERYONE into a tizzy, because everyone is dumb. I am not a Conrad apologist, but when you are BANKRUPT, you have to sell your GIANT MANSION so that you have money TO LIVE and the fact that this is a surprise to anyone is insane to me. Emily, in particular, is upset because part of her Giant Revenge Plan hinges on the house being Wedding HQ and if they sell it, she's screwed. MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU STRIPPED THEM OF ALL THEIR OTHER ASSETS. Additionally, we learn in this scene that Emily and Daniel have decided that their honeymoon should be a weekend trip to Nantucket in the Grayson Yacht, because that makes total sense from Daniel WHO HATES HIS FAMILY and also WHY DO YOU STILL OWN THAT YACHT??? ## Revenge Symmetry ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3607.xml) Additionally, don't worry: Aidan and Emily are still making out and talking about their Great Love in totally public places. ## Clyde Bruckman's Final Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3610.xml) Victoria puts the gallery in Patrick's name because she wants to protect it as an asset from Conrad and it kind of makes me crazy that the audience doesn't know if Patrick is Evil or not. I appreciate that they're being mysterious in a sense, but it's hard to watch five episodes of a show without knowing how you're supposed to react or feel about a character when you have no clue about his motivations. (Although he hates Emily, which makes me like him automatically.) ## Revenge of the Coprophages ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3611.xml) Charlotte could do better than those pants. Anyway, she is making Daniel run errands with her to celebrate the re-opening of The Only Bar in The Hamptons, and... ## Jose Chung's From Outer Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/daniel-sarah.xml) He's surprised to see that the counter at the local bakery is being manned by Sarah, his girlfriend whom he injured in that DUI that conveniently popped up again this week. I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't have known she was working at the local bakery given that he too is working in the Hamptons now and it's a VERY small town, but I actually can live with that. Sarah hates him, because the deal the Graysons brokered with her was a terrible one and she's basically bankrupt now. All this being said: Charlotte eventually gets her a gig at the Stowaway and Sarah admits to Charlotte that she still loves Daniel even though he CRUSHED HER SPINE QUITE LITERALLY, and he reads the details of her hush-money deal and vows to her that he's going to make it right and they stare at each other longingly and I think poor Sarah is going to find herself grist for Emily's mill because Daniel is totally going to want to leave Emily who is really COLD to him for Sarah, whose family seems super nice and normal and who also knows how to make delicious cake. I might be Team Sarah? ## Revenge of a Cigarette Smoking Man ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3617.xml) Okay, so because Emily needs Grayson Manor to stay in the family for Reasons, she breaks into (?) the Southhampton hall of records and dummies up a report from the coastal commission implying that Grayson Manor is a victim of Wicked Terrible Coastal Erosion (or something) and is about to fall into the ocean. Because there's nothing more riveting than paperwork. This show is OBSESSED with paperwork. I am obsessed with capers -- both the tiny salty foodstuff AND the shenanigans -- and I wish we could have seen how Emily got herself back into the records hall. This show has a bad habit of just cutting to Emily in a costume, rifling through records, but not bothering to do the hard work of her talking herself into a place she isn't supposed to be, and the talking yourself into a place is often the most delightful and fun part of this kind of story -- look at *Alias*. They never just cut to Jennifer Garner in latex hanging upside down over a nuclear reactor, we always got to see how she finagled her way past the doorkeepers. ## Revenge Mori ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3621.xml) This break-up is not taking very well, mostly because Nolan is peevish that Emily is trying to run his entire life and also because Patrick is hot like FIRE. Eventually, Nolan goes crying to Jack about this entire drama and finally tells Jack that Emily is Amanda and it's all very They Don't Know We Know They Know We Know and basically Jack offers to break up with Patrick for Nolan because Nolan knows that he doesn't have the groinal fortitude to do it himself and they're BOTH kind of mad at Emily, but their bromance is back and better than ever, and I must say that I think it's smart of the show to include Jack in the shenanigans officially, which will help ameliorate his general uselessness. ## Revenge Potatoes ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3624.xml) This shot reminds me of the time that Julian Crane (the father of Justin Hartley's characters on *Passions*) walked around Harmony carrying a book called *How To Murder Your Sister And Get Away With It* during that time he was trying to murder his sister and get away with it, except way more boring. Aidan is sure that he and Ems are going to run off to the Maldives after this is all done because Aidan has never watched TV before. ## Unusual Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3630.xml) Which is why he agrees to help when Emily also decides to pretend that HER house is falling into the ocean so that the Real Estate Agent Du Jour checks on the Graysonndkgfnagnahkanag. Sorry, I just fell asleep. From now on, whenever this show tries to pretend paperwork is interesting, I am just going to talk about stuff that used to happen on *Passions*. ## The Post-Revenge Prometheus ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3642.xml) I just thought you might want to see Nolan's mandals. ## Revenge Blood ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3647.xml) In which Victoria FINALLY announces that now that Conrad's broke, she's breaking up with him. This is ALSO a problem for Emily who apparently couldn't guess that two people who loathe each other might not want to stay married forever. ## The Pine Bluff Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3650.xml) And she and Aidan have to discuss what they're going to do about that, and their trip to the Maldives OUT IN PUBLIC AGAIN ON THE BEACH IN THE HAMPTONS DURING THE SUMMER WHERE NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO SEE THEM I HATE EVERYONE. ## Revengeland ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3662.xml) Yes, I'm sure this place exists in the Hamptons. ## all revenges ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3667.xml) Guess what?! It's where "Conrad" has been hoarding the Grayson fortune, IN GOLD BARS. I cannot with how dumb this show is. Okay, so, sure, Aidan and Emily can give Conrad back the Grayson fortune (on the thought that, if he's rich, Victoria and he will have a far more drawn out divorce so....I don't even know why she cares. Even if they're divorced, they're both going to come to the wedding and the wedding is in five weeks so it's basically impossible any divorce would come through that quickly anyway). But, hello, Victoria will be all, "I saw your gold bars!" and Conrad will have no idea what she's talking about because he knows he isn't keeping a fortune in gold bars somewhere. ALSO: HOW DO YOU GET AND TRANSPORT THIS MANY GOLD BARS IN LIKE ONE DAY? ## This Is Not Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3669.xml) Anyway, Jack told Conrad that Patrick used this knife to sever his brake lines and Conrad then took that knife and rubbed his fingers all over it so that even if he wanted to prove this about Patrick it would be totally impossible because, despite being a man who managed to bring down TWO PLANES, Conrad has never ever seen an episode of *Law & Order* and therefore doesn't know that if you want to prove someone used something to commit murder, USE GLOVES TO PICK IT UP. ## Nothing Revenge Happened Today ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/daniel-loves-sara.xml) That face says, "I'm going to break up with my kinda mean fiancee who hates me and hook up with the sweet townie whose spine I severed but who lived to bake delicious things anyway." ## Revenge the Shark ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3676.xml) Victoria sends Patrick out of town so that Conrad can't get him for MURDER and Patrick seems legit upset about it and I really wish I knew how Patrick actually felt about *anything*. ## Revenge Truth ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3677.xml) But at least we get some new info from Emily, who bursts in on Nolan and Jack's reconciliatory lasagne night to tell them that she plans to disappear after the wedding FOREVER and that she's going to frame Victoria Grayson for her murder. REVENGE! [Fug The Show: Revenge recap, episode 306As I mentioned last week, I am only now watching Breaking Bad -- I'm almost at the end of season four -- and everyone was right: it is tremendous. And one of the tremendous things about it is that at the end of nearly every episode, you think, "how are Walt and Jesse going to get out of this?!?!" Whereas, with Revenge, nearly every episode ends with my praying that Emily's comeuppance is swift and complete. I think this is, in part, because Emily is not sympathetic nor is she very bright. If you're terrible, you at least have to be knee-deep in complex and satisfyingly twisty plot. Here, the only thing twisting are my hands as I wring them with irritation.![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/img_3589.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-revenge-episode-306-11-2013/)