> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fug the Show: Revenge recap, episode 309 - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-revenge-episode-309/ - Published: 2013-12-12T18:00:31.000Z - Updated: 2014-03-01T04:25:18.000Z - Author: Jessica - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35 ## Fallon's Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4206.xml) Do you need a reminder of what happened last time we hung out with this group of dipwads? I sure did. Basically, Mouthbreather Daniel was sprung on Sarah, the Townie Girlfriend whose spine he LITERALLY CRUSHED in a DUI, so Emily sensed that her bad habit of being dismissive and uninterested in him was about to bite her in the ass, so she told him she was knocked up to keep him from breaking up with her. Also, she and Daniel are posing for a HUGE spread about their wedding in *Voulez!*, which we're all learned from The Curse of *InStyle Weddings* is a not good plan. And also it's not at all weird for the publisher to run a giant story on himself. Anyway, Emily is acting like she's all giddy about being preggers, but the issue is that Emily VanCamp as Amanda Clarke as Emily Thorne is a TERRIBLE actor, and so she doesn't actually seem that happy at all, and I can't tell if that's bad acting from VanCamp or if we're supposed to think that Emily herself just really sucks at her chosen Revenging? Daniel is ALSO not very happy about ANYTHING, so...mazel tov? ## The Revenge Tells a Secret ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4210.xml) Margaux's new source for her What's The Deal With Daniel Grayson story is, of course, Formerly Dead Lydia -- I had totally forgotten that we already knew she was alive anyway -- and she's setting her up at The South Fork to keep an eye on her while she builds her story. Lydia is basically totally evil this episode in a way that I find amusing: greedy, kind of dumb, nasty to people, totally selfish. I enjoy her. I also enjoy Margaux's outfit and I am really sorry that Margaux is constantly surrounded by dimwits. ## Blake Goes to Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4212.xml) Speaking of dimwits, Conrad is still writing his memoirs, and has dragged out boxes and boxes of photos from The Past. He and Victoria love one another as much as ever, which is to say, not at all. I think one of my issues with this show is that no one ever grows or evolves or changes. EVERYONE is still acting exactly the way they've always done -- with the exception, in fairness, of Jack. Nothing has taught them anything, which makes them very flat characters, and hard to root for. ## Enter Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4213.xml) THIS is going to move magazines. No wonder Margaux's having problems with her ad sales. ## The Mid-East Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4215.xml) Sarah is like, "what is the DEAL with you breaking up with EMILY?" and Daniel is all, "errrrr....We need the wedding story to sell magazines?" and Sarah is like, "you suck as much as this dress does," and storms out. She doesn't want to be the other woman, and apparently Daniel STILL thinks he's going to get out of marrying Emily, since he STILL doesn't break up with Sarah NOR does he tell her that Ems is pregnant. I mean, the truth is that Ems is NOT up the duff, AND she's about to fake her own murder, so really Daniel and Sara really CAN just hold tight for about 72 hours but THEY don't know that. CAPS LOCK! ## Revenge and Stephen Marry ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4221.xml) Nolan's shorts are covered in little sailboats. I just want Nolan to be happy. Can he move to [BlueBell and become best friends with Lavon?](https://gofugyourself.com/tag/hart-of-dixie?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io) They can bond over their shared love of awesome pants, and given that BlueBell is full of cute single men, Nolan will soon meet some adorable Southern boy and he and Zoe can miss New York together! This is a great plan. Anyway, he gives Aidan his and Emily's new passports for their coming carefree life together on the Maldives. He's made Emily "Amanda Ross," his long-lost cousin, which is actually REALLY STUPID. It's like if I went on the lam and adopted Heather's name as my own. ## Revenge's Blindness ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4222.xml) Emily is all coyly refusing alcohol as she and Victoria work on final seating arrangements for the wedding, but they both get distracted when several of Vicky's bandage dresses start flying out an upstairs window and onto the lawn. ## The Two Revenges ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4226.xml) It's Lydia, and don't even bother trying to figure out how she got into the house and upstairs past Victoria and Emily in the living room. Just assume that the FBI specialists secretly working as servants for the Graysons smuggled her in, and enjoy how SCREWED Emily knows she is at this very moment. ## Two Flights To Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4230.xml) This shot is SO DARK, I am sorry. Anyway, Charlotte -- a 19 year old girl who is apparently not bothering to use her family's millions in gold bars to go to college -- is running Jack's Tavern, and Sarah, who is the chef and ergo should be WORKING, just ups and quits and Char is all, "I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU" but the reason isn't "BECAUSE YOU NEED TO GIVE ME SOME NOTICE, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER SERVICE HERE" but instead some BS about love. ## Revenge in Singapore ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4232.xml) Meanwhile, over at Grayson Manor, Emily and Lydia are bickering -- Emily knows Lydia has her number -- and Lydia gives her a tiny little shove and Emily FLOPS like a world class soccer player and then goes rolling around and moaning on the marble floor. Victoria, obviously, is like, "um, last season someone FELL OVER A BALCONY onto this floor, so get back to me when you have something I haven't already seen." But Daniel of course is all, "BUT MOM SHE'S PREGNANNNNNNNNT" and Victoria is all, "THAT SEEMS CONVENIENT" as Emily makes a privately smug face into her hideous sensible blazer. It's kind of frustrating to see that Victoria has TOTALLY got Emily figured out and literally zero people believe her. ## The Downstairs Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4234.xml) Conrad is THRILLED that Emily is going to be having another Grayson, which is maybe the nicest thing Conrad has ever felt. Sure, he caused two planes to explode, but who doesn't love babies! ## Revenge Comrades ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4236.xml) This is maybe the worst dress VanCamp has ever sported. The color is lovely on her, but you can see her bra, and it's really unflattering on her boobs -- which is weird, because the show is generally good, at least, at dressing her cleav. ## New Lady in Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4237.xml) I just thought you'd want to know that the double popped collar is back. ## Revenge Intrigue ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4238.xml) This is how Daniel looks when he runs/is in the midst of emotional turmoil. He's all Torn Up about his Sarah v. Emily scenario, which is what he tells Charlotte when she catches up with him. Don't ask me why she decided to chase him along some rural trails and then interrogate him when they're both out of breath, unless it's because they show thinks if they put Christa B Allen in workout gear and make her do athletic things, we might think that we've fallen into a wormhole and we're now watching *Alias*. ## That Revenge Spirit ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4240.xml) This is totally how I do all my work, btw. Props to the set and location people for this season, though, sincerely, for getting a place with such an amazing view. I mean, it's quite obviously Malibu, but it's gorgeous. ## Revenge Relations ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4242.xml) Daniel goes to the doctor with Emily in the wake of her slipping down one stair to make sure that "the baby" is okay, but they're interrupted on on their way by the PAPARAZZI LIKE I AM SO SURE. There ARE real celebrities in the Hamptons. This is like if the press went insane for Ivanka Trump walking into the dentist's office. Anyway, Daniel assumes his mother leaked the news about the baby to the press and so many thoughts: a) what would she gain from that? and b) maybe don't tell your mother about the details of your fiancee's OBGYN appts if you hate her so hard. Anyhoodle, they just drive off, which allows Emily, as planned, to get out of having to actually GO to the OB, where all and sundry would learn that her baby was just made of sandwiches. ALSO what kind of person just agrees NOT to get things checked out when there is a fetus involved if two seconds earlier you were all worried about said fetus, just because some paparazzi show up. Grow a pair, Daniel, and also a brain? (Also, WOW, this show has never looked more like Burbank.) ## Circumstantial Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4244.xml) So Lydia lures horny Conrad, who is thrilled she is alive and he doesn't have a degenerative brain disease (actually, no one mentions that; you'd think THAT might change a character, but no), over to the South Fork and tries to seduce him in this too-tight but otherwise nice dress (so, Victoria-style) into giving her some really good dish on all his various nefarious doings, but he won't go for it, and so she is sad, because she had set up a recording device so she could prove to her meal ticket, Margaux, that she hasn't made up all her various grievances re: Conrad and his grasp of ethics. But not only does Conrad not bite, Aidan sees him visiting Lydia...CONVENIENTLY....and tells Margaux and Margaux is NOT happy about it and cuts off Lydia's gravy train. I think that's what went down, anyway. I was sort of distracted by Amber Valletta's cute haircut. ## Parental Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4250.xml) Margaux's entire plot this week, btw, involved her Conrad Grayson expose falling apart -- not the least because Jack basically tells her that Conrad's the worst and everything he touches ends up dead. What kind of journalist are you? ALL THE MORE REASON TO GET THE STORY. On the other hand, the rest of her dress is super cute and I stupidly didn't get a shot of it -- perhaps because it's from J Crew and already own it in blue, so it just washed over me like a wave. I LOVE that necklace, though, and I wish I had it as well. ## The Revengecoming ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4255.xml) Because SOMEONE needs to be supporting Lydia if Margaux isn't -- Lydia, prior to this, was working as a bartender, much to her irritation -- she heads over to Grayson Manor where the servants (actively working to destroy the Graysons as usual) let her in and she basically tells Conrad, "hey, I'm over that time you tried to EXPLODE ME IN A PLANE, and I love you" and so they do it. ## The Revengehouse ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4256.xml) Sarah now of course knows all about The Fictional Baby and she and Daniel have this very emotional talk about Broken Homes and Doing What's Right and Duty and both of their accents stay mostly on track and she gives him back his diamond and leaves his life forever or at least for the next 36 hours until Emily is dead. ## The Triple-Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4257.xml) And, like the old lady in the Britney song of yore, he dropped it into the ocean in the end. Aw, Daniel. You shouldn't have. ## The Revenge (a.k.a.) The Vendetta ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4262.xml) Speaking of, you shouldn't have, Aidan and Emily get engaged while technically she is of course set to marry Daniel in like 40 hours which is both sort of sweet and also ragingly optimistic on the subject of This, The Pulling Off Of. Additionally, this dress is ALSO unflattering on VanCamp. ## A Revenge Remembered, Part I ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4265.xml) Later -- the next day? That night? Who even knows. I think this is the day after Emily accepted Aidan's proposal? -- Daniel is taking his leave from her until they get married and finally he is kind of like, "Mom told me she told you about Sarah and why didn't you ever say anything?" (He and the Vickster had a big old fight in the wake of her "calling" the press about the "pregnancy.") And frankly, THAT is a huge red flag. Emily SHOULD HAVE had a fit about Sarah. Her knowing about his dalliance and saying nothing makes her look -- to him, at the least! -- like his love for her is not the most important aspect of their relationship in her mind, and I think it makes her look like she's marrying him for his name and his bars of gold. It should be a giant misstep on her part, and a HUGE red flag for Daniel that she didn't even ask him about it. But she makes up some BS and he buys it because the water in the Hamptons is laced with something that makes people dumb. ## A Revenge Remembered, Part II ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4267.xml) But Lydia has been sticking to bottled water and that's why she asked Conrad, post-coital, if she can look at his old pictures... ## Shadow Revenge ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4269.xml) ...and of course she finds this one, again, of EMILY THORNE: CATER WAITER, looking like a complete psycho. I pray to the sweet baby Yeezus that Lydia marches over to Victoria's bedroom and shows this to her and they can band together to STOP EMILY ONCE AND FOR ALL. ## Revenge Roulette ![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4271.xml) And while that may yet happen, one thing we DO know is that Victoria has decided NOT to attend Emily's wedding. Which of course means that Em's plan to frame Victoria for shooting her at the wedding -- she even took the gun she plans to use to the range and shot off a few rounds whilst wearing one of Victoria's purloined bracelets, to get gun residue on it (I guess she psychically knows which bracelet V plans to wear on the big day) -- has just hit a BIG FAT SNAG, given that Victoria WON'T EVEN BE THERE. Is it wrong that my reaction to this is a big old MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH? REVENGE! [Fug the Show: Revenge recap, episode 309How can we only be on the 9th episode of Revenge this season? It feels like it's gearing up for the season finale, what with Emily's Crazy Misguided Revenge Wedding and all, but I guess that's merely going to be its MID-SEASON finale, which means we're going to get another six months of... I don't even know. 10 episodes of Emily getting her ass handed to her? That seems unlikely. I just hope someone lets Roger Bart out of jail for the nuptials.![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/img_4206.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-revenge-episode-309-12-2013/)