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# Fug the Show: Revenge recap, season 3, episode 14
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-revenge-recap-season-3-episode-14/
- Published: 2014-03-11T16:00:44.000Z
- Updated: 2014-03-11T05:11:54.000Z
- Author: Jessica  
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:37

## Full Revenge

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5869.xml)

Remember how [last episode Emily woke up at the South Fork Inn, and we all thought that maybe she nailed Conrad?](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-revenge-episode-3-11-01-2014/) Let me put your fears/hopes to rest: she did not. She is just losing large chunks of time and has no idea what happens during any of them. Maybe Katherine Pierce is inside HER head now! That actually would be great. Can we have Nina Dobrev come play Emily Thorne? Thanks.

So Em goes in for a CAT Scan and the doc is all, "weird! No tumor," and Emily is all, "so what's wrong with me?" and doc is all, "How should I know? I'm not a neurologist." Dear Emily, if you're having major brain problems, maybe pop into New York City and see AN ACTUAL NEUROLOGIST as it's 20 minutes by helicopter and you're loaded. Not that it would matter: eventually the news comes back from the neuro to whom not-neuro forwarded Emily's scans that there's nothing wrong with her brain beyond terrible decision-making and a proclivity for mouth-breathers, and Nolan suggests that maybe this is the onset of the kind of psychosis that broke her mother. Remember when Emily had a crazy mom for a couple of weeks until the show realized they didn't know what they were doing and got rid of her? Me either. But if this series ends with Emily in an insane asylum, I actually think that would rule.

## Family Revengers

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5870.xml)

These two are getting divorced again and LITERALLY ZERO PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CARE. Not even these two! However, you should know that Gail O'Grady is still in town -- we briefly met her in the previous episode -- and she's both Conrad's former wife and a divorce attorney and Jack's Secret Mom AND due to a complicated bunch of blah blah, she technically owns Grayson Manor. Which is kind of brilliant and also this totally happened on *Dynasty* and the way THEY acted out on it was a freeze frame of Blake throttling Alexis, [which is our Twitter avatar.](https://twitter.com/fuggirls?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io) This show does NOT even begin to approximate that greatness, and also, right now Victoria doesn't know any of it, which is why she's rolling her eyes at that newspaper in peace.

## Step By Revenge

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5872.xml)

Jack and Margeaux are still in love and she's still planning on moving into his house, and she still wears cute skirts and she still hates Conrad, who is now running her magazine like Grayson Global, AKA down into the ground and possibly toward a head-on collision with an explosion.

## Revenge Strangers

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5875.xml)

Daniel just realized that he's [never going to hit a hole in one into a whale's blowhole.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8KUgUqprw&ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io) Also that he forgot Charlotte's birthday, so he agrees to throw her a big party to make up for it.

## Boy Meets Revenge

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5878.xml)

Nolan has nothing to do this episode except be concerned about Emily's brain exploding and wear crazy outfits. At least we'll always have his crazy outfits.

## Revenge, Revenge

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/emily-gail.xml)

Emily's Mrs Daniel Grayson persona has the most BORING wardrobe. Stevie "Gail O'Grady" Grayson can't even believe how ugly that blazer is. Stevie is a kick: she hates Victoria (rightly, as V was The Other Woman), she hates Conrad (rightly, as he cheated on her/is the worst), she realizes immediately that the Crazy Emily with whom she took an earlier phone meeting -- a meeting THIS Emily doesn't remember, but which happened the night that she and Conrad were together at the South Fork -- is the only Emily who tells the truth, and so she's basically like, "welp, when you realize the Graysons are the suck, let me know and I'll get you out of that marriage. Laters!"

## Hangin' With Mr Revenge

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5888.xml)

And then Emily has a Brain Fog Attack and goes into her other persona, whom I'm officially dubbing -- with utmost sensitivity and the kind of affection and reverence this show deserves, AKA none -- Crazy Emily.

## Revenge, The Teenage Witch

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5889.xml)

Crazy Emily loses the blazer -- Crazy Emily is not TOTALLY crazy -- and pops over to Aidan's and tries to force her tongue down his throat, and he is basically like, "GIRLFRIEND. GET OFF MY JOCK AND CHILL," and then he leaves town forever. RUN AIDAN. RUN TO ANOTHER SHOW. RUN WHERE THEY CAN'T FIND YOU.

## Revengeousaurs

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5891.xml)

Whoopsie, except Crazy Emily planted The Sword That Killed Takeda under Aidan's bed and Nico found it and now she wants to kill him for her *own* revenge. WHAT A GREAT PLAN NOT TO THROW YOUR MURDER WEAPON INTO THE OCEAN IN THE FIRST PLACE. All the so-called brilliant geniuses on this show need to watch a couple of episodes of *Law & Order* before they ever do anything else.

## Aliens in the Revenge

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5894.xml)

Meanwhile, in the other plot of the episode, Patrick has hired his biological father/Victoria's rapist to do some construction work on the gallery that he burned down, because all of those decisions are SIMPLY BRILLIANT. And his father talks the whole time about regrets, he's had a few, and yadda yadda Patrick starts coming around on him and only seriously considers murdering him just a couple of times, because apparently he has his *own* brain fog and keeps forgetting that this dude raped his mother.

## Revenge Wish

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5897.xml)

I know Nolan's worried about Emily's brain, but I prefer to think that, as it looks in this shot, he's REALLY worried about how terrible Crazy Emily's Crazy Outfits are. By the way, it is at the end of this scene that Emily goes into another Crazy Trance and the next thing you know...

## Just the Revenge of Us

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5898.xml)

...she comes to in an unflattering dress at Charlotte's Boring Birthday. Later, there's a scene where Nolan explains that Crazy Emily, like, OVERPOWERED HIM, which is why he let her run off to the party all Crazed Out, but that smelled like a writers' room addition to a network note. (a) Crazy Emily has super-human strength now? and (b) Crazy Emily overpowers Nolan and then....goes home and gets dressed and goes a boring party for a 19 year old girl, where they apparently discuss such RIVETING CRAZY TOPICS as Charlotte wanting an internship at *Voulezzzzzzzzzz*. Crazy Emily needs to live a little. Additionally, if this show gets picked up for next season, ten bucks says Charlotte decides to go off to college. Please, TV Gods.

## Revengeless

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5904.xml)

Victoria's rapist/Patrick's Dad/Peyton's Dad on *Make It Or Break It* pops by Char's party to show V some paint chips, because the security they have working is as STELLAR AS ALWAYS. He creepily flirts with a clueless Charlotte, is sort of threateningly sexual toward Victoria, and basically both of the actors in this scene are far better than their material. Don't worry. Victoria and her very pretty but possibly too-young-for-her dress will eventually get her way.

## Revenge Angel

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/they-wanted-to-murder.xml)

...when there is a tussle at the gallery and Patrick cracks his father over the head and then V lets him die in a scene surely conceived of by a writer binge-watching early seasons of *Breaking Bad*. Again, everyone is quite good in this scene -- Madeline Stowe in particular -- but to what purpose? Patrick already killed A PRIEST, so we know he's murderous if need be. So far, he has literally killed every Father that has crossed his path! These two are already bonded, so a murder isn't going to bring them closer together. It's nice for Victoria to wreck her own revenge, sure, but THIS feels undercooked.

## The Revengeleys

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5909.xml)

Meanwhile, Emily figures out that Nico figured out that Aidan killed Takeda, and goes to rescue him. She and Nico fight, she bests Nico, and then lets her go without killing her, so there's another new actor brought in and dispatched after having accomplished very little. It feels like the writers are really just trying things out on the fly in the hopes that SOMETHING will click, but you have to get it right on the paper, dudes. Cut bait if the actor isn't working -- like what happened with Lynly on *Hart of Dixie* this season -- but this feels like the show is taking competent actors and giving them kind of half-cocked things to do in hopes that chemistry will take over and fill in the holes and that hardly EVER happens. Sometimes actors are so great that they save their characters from death, but they can't save a plot that's going nowhere from floundering entirely. Then Aidan also leaves, but not before telling Emily that she's a crackpot for having broken up with him over her issues of infertility when he never even told her that he wanted kids in the first place. Her face is like, "yeah, this whole plotline where not being able to have biological children is making me insane with grief makes no sense, because I am the least maternal character on television and there's no background for this emotional reaction at all."

## Making the Revenge

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/photo.xml)

I just couldn't let this go by without you seeing Nolan's Puppy Shirt.

## Where I Revenge

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5911.xml)

"JACK, I AM YOUR MOTHER."

"NOOOOOOOO."

Actually, Jack just looks gobsmacked. I don't even remember what we were supposed to think happened with Jack's mother, but apparently in this version of the Hamptons, NO ONE'S PARENTAGE IS ASSURED. I actually really like Gail O'Grady in this part, so carry on with this one, *Revenge* writers.

## Revenging By

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5921.xml)

And I LOVE her taking away Victoria's house. Victoria's more interesting when she's desperate. I just wish the show would let Victoria and Stevie team up to ruin Conrad. They VERY RARELY let the ladies team up -- as opposed to Nolan/Aidan/Jack, who get to bromance out all the time -- and it's a shame. Bitches don't always have to be in conflict, y'all. Sometimes bitches can band together to create one giant SuperBitch, and trust: SuperBitches run the world. See the rest of you at our SuperBitch meeting. REVENGE!

[Fug the Show: Revenge recap, season 3, episode 14Guess what's boring? This show. Even though our protagonist has a mysterious brain fog and Gail O'Grady is, frankly, awesome. At least Nolan wore a shirt covered in puppies?![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/img_5869.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-revenge-recap-season-3-episode-14-03-2014/)