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# Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 12
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-ringer-episode-12/
- Published: 2012-02-20T19:45:12.000Z
- Updated: 2012-02-20T18:01:26.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:30

## Rich Twin

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/02/img_9078-800x533.jpg)

Let's begin with Rich Twin. Henry Sad-Sack was recently confused by "Rich Twin" running hot and cold, and his sack likes a more temperate climate. So Rich Twin tells him she's madly in love with him and has no great explanation for why she's been acting weird. Henry caresses her scarf, so that we know what our tell will be this episode for which twin is which -- Rich has a glorified bolo -- and reveals that Rich Twin liked anagram games to hide the locales of their meets. I love an anagram -- I am probably anagramming that sentence right now, and indeed I was, and disturbingly I got both "A vaginal moaner" and "A manorial vegan" -- and so Rich Twin and I may be soulmates.

## HSS and Rich Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9080-800x533.jpg)

Soon Henry's sack becomes cheery and warm.

## HSS

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9083-800x533.jpg)

But when he grabs at Rich Twin's belly, she shrinks back and flees, leaving Henry's sack rather blue. On every level.

## Poor Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9089-800x533.jpg)

After an unintentionally hilarious expository scene -- in which she enters her fancy building and walks RIGHT past the desk clerk while leaving "Professor Malcolm Ward" a message in which she identifies herself BY NAME as Poor Twin -- our girl comes home to a mess in the apartment, even though she actually looks rather bangin'. At first she blames Stepdaughter Juliet, but then Juliet arrives home, so it can't be her. So they go into the bathroom...

## Juliet's Mother

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9090-800x533.jpg)

... and there is Andrea Roth, having a glass of wine and a bubble bath and a pout, beginning a DELICIOUSLY campy episode in which she wears wacky cougar clothes and lots of crazy face.

## Poor Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9108-800x533.jpg)

In this moment Poor Twin has chosen to wear an apron to make pancakes. Which is weird, because I would've thought her only familiarity with Bisquick would've been as a professional euphemism. Everyone is understandably amused that "Rich Twin" is cooking; nobody mentions that her apron appears to be tied with newspaper, although I do believe Rich Twin would rather wear black and white than leaf through it and sully her fingers.

## Andrea Roth and Juliet

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9110-800x533.jpg)

Juliet is getting ready to press charges against Logan Echolls, so she and Mama cope by going to Barneys in tight shirts.

## Jamie Martin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9113-800x533.jpg)

Meanwhile, Rich Twin's paramour sits in his very French office -- we know it's French because there are sculptures all over it, of course -- and whispers nonsense to Rich Twin on the phone about how much he misses the baby she's gestating, which he thinks is his. Poor Jamie. Either way this kid's getting a sad-sack dad. Anyway, Rich Twin tells him to keep digging into Ioan's company's financial shenanigans, because he is her patsy.

## Rich Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9117-800x533.jpg)

Then she tries to pawn the ring at a place that CLEARLY says, behind the manager, that it's under video surveillance. Rich Twin might not be that bright, although she has good taste in coats. She's also not wearing metals that much anymore, which I guess is good because it's hard to skulk when you're wearing reflective surfaces.

## Poor Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9120-800x533.jpg)

Poor Twin, looking kind of great AGAIN, is doing some snooping. She calls the hotel in Paris that she found out about, and learns that Rich Twin's alias "Cora Farrell" was there with a man. She is shocked SHOCKED but can't get any more details out of any of the actors with outraaaaaageous French accents. Later she talks to Jamie Martin on the phone, where he asks if she's "called your guy Solomon," and then she hangs up on him. When he talks to Rich Twin later, she deduces that Poor Twin is hot on the trail of The Truth.

## FBI Agent Richard Alpert

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9123-800x533.jpg)

Meanwhile, FBI ARA sits down with the crooked cop he busted -- the one who Billy Miller, at the behest of Rich Twin, paid to give Poor Twin a gun and convince her to flee to New York -- and says he wants details on the Very Bad Man they're trying to get. FBI ARA notes that the Very Bad Man's peeps on the inside will probably beat up Crooked Cop and then goes full Chocolate Steel on the poor bastard.

## Ioan

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9126-800x533.jpg)

Ioan found out somebody pawned Poor Twin's ring -- the pawnbroker looked up the serial number on the stone and tried selling it back to the original jeweler, which seems dumb -- and he's gruffuddly gruff about whether Poor Twin tried to sell it. She confesses she lost it and felt stupid, so they make out. This scene was just a warm-up for Ioan's gruffudding chops.

## Rich Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9134-800x533.jpg)

Meanwhile, Rich Twin meets up with[Perconte from *Band of Brothers*](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0534944/?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io) and tells him she needs a fake passport under a NEW alias, and chucks out the "Cora Farrell" paperwork he'd made for her. "Perconte" anagrams to "Creep Not," which seems like a lie in this case, although I choose to believe the real Perconte was a peach.

## HSS

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9136-800x533.jpg)

AHA. Henry Sad-Sack followed Rich Twin, and sees the documents she threw away, and his sack positively droops with consternation.

## Juliet and Logan Echolls

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9142-800x533.jpg)

The principal of Juliet's school shows Juliet and family some footage of her advancing on Logan, which is going to make her case very challenging. When EXACTLY was this supposed to have happened? Who does that in the middle of school when they think someone might come around the corner? It looks more like they're filming a music video. At least she looks good.

## Andrea Roth

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9145-800x533.jpg)

Mama Roth is FURIOUS, and pauses amid the act of being mauled by a bear to express her disgust at Juliet's predatory behavior. Calling Juliet a slut makes Poor Twin angry, and they in turn call each other pigs and bitches and it's kind of delicious. Pigs & Bitches is totally going to be the name of something in my future. Bar? Band? Pet store?

## Ioan

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9148-800x533.jpg)

Ioan can't handle it. He's like, "My gruffudding face is ALREADY TIRED, I can't deal with your shenanigans."

Juliet swears this doesn't change anything and blah blah blah everyone is cranky. Poor Twin is all supportive of her, and Andrea Roth thinks she might be a slut.

## Henry Sad-Sack

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9153-800x533.jpg)

Meanwhile, Henry Sad-Sack confronts Rich Twin about the passport he found, announces that he is CERTAIN she's secretly Poor Twin, and then -- sack firmly rooted by iron resolve -- turns her over to FBI Agent Richard Alpert. Poor Henry. He would have been a smart-sack if he'd thought of this three weeks ago.

## Rich Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9159-800x533.jpg)

Rich Twin is like, "Uh-huh, suck on that, you kohl-eyed mope" -- and of course kohl-eyed mope anagrams to "Model! Hey, poke!" and "Deploy meek ho," although she uses neither epithet -- because of course her fingerprints don't match those on Poor Twin's file. I guess that answers my questions about identical twins and fingerprints, which is going to come in REALLY HANDY with my own identical twins, once they get old and cunning and I buy that fingerprinting kit.

## FBI ARA

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9158-800x533.jpg)

Richard is vexed. Hotly vexed. He's all, "You moved the island... of SCIENCE." It blinds him.

## Crooked Cop

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9162-800x533.jpg)

Looks like the Very Bad Man's prison yokels found him. His face is mince meat, and so he's ready to talk to the FBI. Look, can we skip ahead here? Basically this dude confesses to everything about the murder that Very Bad Man committed. FBI ARA is confused; it's revealed that Alpert is the one who hired people to beat him up in prison, thinking it'd scare him, but Crooked Cop saw through the ruse. Now that Very Bad Man is off the hook, Crooked Cop asks him to spring him so they can go find Poor Twin and kill her dead.

## FBI ARA

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9185-800x533.jpg)

Mr. Alpert is hotly fake-smiley about all this. Well, he doesn't know about the "kill Poor Twin" part but the other bit really cheesed his potato.

## Ioan

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9163-800x533.jpg)

Meanwhile, Ioan says stuff to Poor Twin -- Juliet doesn't have a case, it's he said/she said, the video is damning, whatever -- while removing his belt. I think we can all agree that the belt is a hideous error of fashion and should be divorced from his costume immediately. And in fact, the pants are also an eye sore. And his SHIRT. Ioan, you'd best divest yourself immediately of all garments. We'll wait.

## Ioan and Poor Twin and lurking Juliet

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9165-800x533.jpg)

Ioan, though, only gets partway toward our goal here before Juliet interrupts him, because her mother is going nuts. I hope Ioan did some facial muscle stretching, because IT WILL BE ON.

## Andrea Roth

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9174-800x533.jpg)

So Crazy McGee is out in the living room in her best patterned blouse, which looks like what I suspect gonorrhea feels like, and burning photos of Juliet from when she was a kid. She announces she's saying goodbye to her little girl now that she's a giant slut. Juliet doesn't appreciate this. But Ioan? IOAN. He uncages the beast.

## Ioan

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/gruffudd.jpg)

He gruffuddly gruffudds that she's being evil, especially drinking booze in front of her drunky kid. He uncorks a gruffuddly gruffudd wind and blasts her with the force of her poor parenting. He gruffudds fistfuls of money at her face to encourage her to turn away, and then he makes waffles. No, then he gruffly gruffuddly gruffudds some dduggurfly gruffudd nostril-flaring as the elevator doors close. It's a master class in gruffudding.

## Andrea Roth

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9189-800x533.jpg)

Andrea Roth survives both this and the slow bear attack happening on her back, because she still has to exposit for Poor Twin all about how "she" and Andrew used anagrams to conceal the locales of their secret meetings. So of course Poor Twin goes into Rich Twin's datebook and finds an anagram that unscrambles to Solomon's name.

## Poor Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9198-800x533.jpg)

She puts on a really good leather jacket -- rock on with your bad self, Poor Twin -- so she can meet Solomon...

## Save The Last Dance

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9202-800x533.jpg)

... and lo, it's Save The Last Dance! I saw that movie in the theaters. I know, I know. Apparently he is Rich Twin's driver, which is how Poor Twin finds out that he drove Rich Twin to the airport to go to Wyoming... months and months before Poor Twin called Rich Twin from there. Which means Poor Twin THOUGHT RIch Twin didn't know where she was, but in fact she clearly did. Poor Twin thoughtfully connects all these dots for us via calling "Professor Malcolm Ward" and leaving him a message. Man, Malcolm may not be that useful anymore, but his voice mail is super, super handy.

## Trashy Friend

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9210-800x533.jpg)

Back at the penthouse, Juliet's archrival from school shows up, weeping that she doesn't want Juliet to stop pressing charges against Logan Echolls because he forced himself on her too. And you know she's sincere because she washed her face and put on a hat.

## Juliet

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9205-800x533.jpg)

Juliet is understandably shocked, and pleased with herself for dressing up so innocently. She makes Annie look like Little Orphan Sexpot.

## Rich Twin

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9216-800x533.jpg)

So, Rich Twin knows Poor Twin is smelling what she's cooking. So she drags Henry Sad-Sack behind her building and lurks with him there until Solomon brings Poor Twin home, and she shows him that "Rich Twin" is Poor Twin. She also wears a really great coat. Man, all this outdoor winter stalking and skulking and potential pregnancy-hiding has been great for her wardrobe.

## HSS

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/02/IMG_9222-800x533.jpg)

Henry's sad, sad sack shrivels up in shock. Also, Henry Sad-Sack anagrams to "Candy shakers" or "anarchy desks," and I think that pretty much says it all, don't you?

[Fug the Show: Ringer, episode 12Well, the Great Poor Twin Bangs Experiment of 2012 failed spectacularly last week, so we're back to Sarah Michelle Gellar's regular awesome hair/face combo, which is welcome. The title of this episode was, "What are you doing here, ho-bag?" It was brilliantly applicable to, I'd say, just about every other scene. There are SHENANIGANS AHOY, friend, and more gruffudding than you can quake a jaw at, so come on in and let's ring this bell.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/02/img_9078-800x533.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-ringer-episode-12-02-2012/)