SCANDAL
I'm going to monkey with the episode's timeline a little because dipping in and out of the flashbacks, in a written recap, makes it hard to follow the thread. This is five years before present day; Olivia is on her way to her weekly Sunday dinner with dear old Dad, wearing a dark and stormy coat to mirror the turgid corners of her psyche. Is this timeline AT ALL realistic? If Fitz is coming up for re-election soon, that means she must've been working on his campaign, what, three years ago at MINIMUM? And for how long before the election? Add another year, maybe. It feels like Olivia Pope is Too Big A Deal RIght Now for such a tight timeline. Can someone go out there and recreate her career and let us know in five years? Thanks.
Chicken a la SCANDAL
We know Olivia and Huck saw each other at the Metro, from Huck's backstory episode; so, Huckbeard and Olivia swap pleasantries, and establish that she always brings him a doggie bag from her daddy dinners, presumably to offset scurvy.
SCANDAL Bourguignon
Much like on Gilmore Girls, these dinners are under duress, and stilted, and also only happening because of money. In that case, the elder Gilmores were paying for Rory to go to Chilton, and in this case, Rowan -- who IS living under the cover of Eli Pope the Antiquities Goober, by the way, and thus is not some impersonator/secret other father -- is paying off Olivia's law school. She hates him for sending her away after her mother died, and he admits that was a mistake; basically what you need to know is that he manipulates her into defrosting a little bit, and then Olivia falls in love with a diner owner, starts talking EVEN FASTER, and has ten minute conversations with small-town quirks about nothing. (Don't worry, Fug Nation, I am not hating on Gilmore Girls. I tease because I loved.)
Pulled SCANDAL sandwiches
Olivia gets mugged on the subway platform, because even back then everyone really coveted her purses. Huck kicks the Prada-loving hell out of those muggers, though, because he is a homeless super spy with a taste for foil-wrapped leftovers and BLOOD. #NODISRESPECTTOBENAFFLECK
WienerSCANDAL
Liv is touched, so she and this awesome coat -- in a lighter color because it's her Savior Mode -- tries to ask Huckbeard how she can repay him. He cracks that he'd love it if she and her father ate at a cheeseburger place sometime, but in the end, he starts rambling about B-613 -- his black-ops Murder Club -- and some place called Acme Limited and Wonderland and being put in a hole. He basically tells her everything, and she assumes he's insane, because it's obvious that his actual backstory involves sacking villages and fighting off Colonial sailors with cannonballs and stashing all his lit cigarettes in his hair.
Cabernet SCANDALvignon
This starts with a funny little bit about how Olivia doesn't like wine, but Rowan makes her drink a really nice one, and of course in present day we know she likes wine the way most of us like swimmers' abs. But then Olivia innocently starts chatting about everything Huck told her, and asks her dad -- clearly, to us, tensing up because he is Kaiser Soze -- to look into it via some friend of a friend of a friend; he pretends to, and later tells her that Huck is a crazy person who has multiple arrests and so she should disregard it all. Olivia is mildly hobo-psychic so she doesn't entirely believe this, but with no reason NOT to, she accedes. She also, by the way, almost exclusively wears twin sets in these scenes. When she breaks up with her father later, she obviously also dumped Ann Taylor.
SCANDAL Pot Pie
MINDSET is the most boring title for a fake magazine. It sounds like something Marilyn Vos Savant would self-publish. Also, look at Fitz's face. This is only set FIVE YEARS AGO. A political magazine would not airbrush 15 years off his face. Somebody is a little too happy with the trigger finger here.
SCANDAL Bolognese
When Huckbeard stops docking at Port Metro Station Pillar, Olivia freaks out, and decides to find him (which Rowan cautions her against, clearly). This leads to her interacting with go-getter Young David Rosen, although he's only five years younger, and he tells Olivia that her friend Huck has zero arrests on his record. I guess B-666 was too lazy to make up some fake ones. Don't sleep on the magic of computers, B-6. It's only 2008 in your world. You should be on board with technological fakery by now.
SCANDAL Tikka Masala
Olivia, meanwhile, is wearing a really unflattering white skirt and a dark top, because she's being pulled between good and evil. PAY ATTENTION TO THAT PEN, y'all, because in two slides it is revealed to be Jake Ballard's greatest disguise yet. Just kidding. But seriously.
Shrimp Pad SCANDAL
So Olivia finds Acme Limited, which is at Wonderland Ave., and stands smack in the middle of the street and yet nobody at B-24601 seems to notice because I guess the Black Ops are so fierce they don't even NEED surveillance at their lair because they don't CARE, come on IN, if shit gets weird we'll just kill you in three seconds with a wireless mouse and some business cards.
SCANDAL On The Cob
And the reason she realizes her father is In Deep, beyond just the lies, is that apparently he wrote her a note with this pen -- the pen she later loaned and got back from David Rosen -- and B-8675309 is SO STUPID that they run around with BRANDED PENS FROM THEIR FRONT COMPANY. Really? You need to boost your black-ops morale with SWAG? And you thought PENS would do it? What with all the torture and killing, the LEAST you could do is get them an Acme Limited power drill for on-brand flesh-piercing purposes, or some Acme Limited tequila.
Even if Acme Limited is a real company that doesn't know The B-Team is hovering nearby, WHY WOULD YOU, AN ALLEGED SMITHSONIAN ANTIQUITIES PERSON, LINK YOURSELF TO THE LOCATION OF YOUR LAIR BY USING THE LEGIT COMPANY'S PENS. Yet another person brought down by the power of a free writing implement.
Scandal Kiev
"God dammit, I KNEW we should've gone with the branded stress balls."
Roasted Root SCANDALs
Rowan is alternately defensive, accusatory, and menacing when Olivia confronts him, again throwing in her face that he is paying for her to go to Chilton. She stomps off, then figures out a way to get to him: She accepts the umpteenth proposal of her boyfriend, Edison, a senator about to be appointed to the intelligence committee, and it's clear she only said yes so she could wave Edison in Rowan's face and use him as leverage. It's a "two can play at this game" move. Poor Edison looks really happy, and not at all aware that Mongo is only pawn in game of life.
SCANDALE Nicoise
And Olivia takes off her coat to reveal her baby pink dress, and goes all Angel Mode, growling to her father that she wants Huck back. I hope Edison isn't watching this episode. He's going to be so bummed out.
Chili-Cheese SCANDAL
Once Huck is returned and has been beaten up, Olivia learns Edison has been in an accident which Rowan implies he arranged, as a way of showing Olivia how far his reach extends; he also tells her not to let Edison's plight keep her from breaking up with him because it wasn't really working out for them. So there is some implication here she'd have married him if not for that, which adds a layer to the whole Fitz cake. A furious Olivia shrieks that they are done forever. She does so in shit-kicking boots that I love, and which are so much cooler on her than the newsroom power-slacks that she wears all the time. I know I am in the minority on that, but I don't love Olivia Pope's taste in trousers. It's just too bad that never in the HISTORY of her life has Olivia Pope ever shrieked "WE ARE DONE" at someone with whom she was actually done.
Ice-Cream SCANDALdae
Present day! Olivia, in another one of her white jogging hoodies -- you know where this is going with the color symbolism -- when Fitz calls her, and she tells him that she's working with Jeannine and will be bringing the full force of her Glaaaadiatorrrrrness at the White House. Fitz is like, "GOOD. DO IT." He SO does not want to be president again.
Bologna SCANDAL With Cheese
So Liv puts on the grey coat she'll wear for the rest of the episode -- a frequent and apt color for her because it's a blend of her good intentions and her underlying lies -- and stands in front of a green screen and tells the world that the president did NOT have an affair with Jeannine NOR with her, and who is going to get accused NEXT, O Lying White House of Infamy?
SCANDAL Under A Brick
Cyrus and his staff are not pleased, although that girl on the left is pretty stoked that her blouse is cute.
Baby-Back SCANDAL
Fitz, however, is turned on. Seriously. He makes this face. He has TOTAL Popeterwang here. FITZ. I know framing Jeannine was a scummy thing, so it's nice that you want her to have justice, but it's SO HILARIOUS how much he is enjoying Olivia accusing his White House of being lying liars who lie. I guess if they can't get the heat in the bedroom, he'll take it any way he can.
SCANDAL Pie a la Mode
Mellie is so tired of all this that she can't even bring herself to poof up her hair to its usual heights. She and Cyrus are trying to wiggle out of this, but Fitz says he refuses to make a statement about the affair because Olivia should win this case (again... how is it that any of these people aren't still trying to frame Olivia? That was NEVER disproven, and I'm sure Cyrus's kill folder is going to come back into play soon). Mellie turns around and hisses to Cyrus that she can give him all the dates she was gone from the White House, and if they cross-check that with dates when Jeannine WAS working, they can create a portrait of stolen moments. Cyrus thinks this is deliciously evil. Mellie is the best and I wish they'd do a season where she runs against Fitz. It would make no sense and never happen, but half of this show makes no sense and should never happen, and yet it's DELICIOUS, so I say bring the flavor, Shonda.
SCANDAL Dog With Ketchup, Mustard, Onions, and Relish
Fitz makes this face at Mellie and Cyrus, by the way, and it's so amusingly, tolerantly condescending. Cyrus accuses him of having no balls, too, because he won't cross moral lines and play along, and Fitz doesn't appreciate that, because his balls are VERY MUCH present and VERY TINGLY right now.
Seared Sesame-Crusted SCANDAL
I'm sorry the lighting in this screen grab is so janky -- I was trying to lighten it so you could see Abby's coat, but it didn't work that well. I have a gut feeling that it's a great coat, as they all are on this show. There is some blah-blah about things they do to try and bolder Jeannine's denials for her live TV interview, but you don't need to care.
SCANDAL Parmagiana
I don't remember anything Harrison did in this episode, except make that face and wear that outfit. He is desperate for a yard to stomp and can't find one. Sorry, I don't mean to make repeated Stomp The Yard jokes, but I can't exactly say, "He is desperate for a Sunset Strip to Studio 60," because that doesn't make sense and nobody wants to remember that show.
Lemon SCANDALseed Muffins
Rowan shows up to the office and actually shakes hands with Huck, which is the part where I thought, "Does Huck recognize him? Does Olivia realize Huck might recognize him, because she knows Huck was in B-BBBBB and that her father ran it, and..." Basically, I had no idea how anyone was supposed to feel about anything at that moment. So I'm skipping it. Instead, she and Rowan close herself off in her windowed office and pretend, for others' benefit, to be having a chipper conversation even though she is enraged at him. It's quite funny, in part because...
Toasted Everything Bagel with SCANDAL Cream Cheese
... Joe Morton sells the hell out of it, in a brilliantly over-the-top way. He is seriously one flick of the Joy Needle away from pinching both her cheeks and cooing. Olivia has figured out that Vitamin B-12 has done SOMETHING with Jake Ballard (Scott Foley), and she wants him back, because he is under contract for more episodes. Rowan is like, "Not bloody likely, emphasis on BLOODY." Liv later asks Huck if anyone who crosses The B-52s ends up in his old Sad Hole, and whether they're ever killed. Huck implies they're merely tortured to the brink, again and again. And then LATER -- I'm trying to save on slides here -- Rowan tells Liv that unless Jeannine takes the fall for the Fitz affair, Jake Scott Foley is going to die like crazy.
Peanut-Butter and SCANDAL Sandwich
Also, Olivia has taken to checking with local morgues anytime a corpse comes in who fits Jake's description. The bartender from Grey's Anatomy happily obliges her. He should also probably serve her a shot of something. The vodka in particular would be nice and chilly down there.
Cobb SCANDAL
Meanwhile, in service of her live TV interview, Jeannine is getting the worst makeover ever, shepherded mostly by Quinn -- who is not the person I'd go to for a makeover unless perhaps I wanted near-fatal body piercings. So Jeannine is turning into the exact same person she was before, but with stodgier suits.
Suckling SCANDAL
Case in point: They are putting her in those nude shoes. On purpose.
SCANDAL Velvet Cake
Abby, however, looks really good with just that extra eyeliner. She is the first person in TV history who has been given a Hot And Sexy TV Makeover that involves ADDING curl to her hair, and as a curlyhead, I STRONGLY approve this message.
SCANDAL Souffle
Mellie, meanwhile, is all Sad Hair. Olivia is defending Jeannine, and they might have proof, and Fitz isn't malleable anymore, and yada yada yada she gets Jeannine into a limo and offers her $2 million to say she had the affair and then leave town. It's enough to make a lady's hair product quit.
SCANDALtatouille
Liv hasn't been able to secure Scott Foley's safety, which is suddenly the only thing that matters to her, because she apparently can't be alone for more than a week. She asks Fitz to use whatever power he has -- which isn't much, he says, because the B-Flats aren't under his jurisdiction -- to save Jake Ballard, and Fitz is super jealous but knows he can't be, so he agrees to come up with a plan. He would be even MORE jealous if he saw how much Olivia is working that blue top. It looks very cool on her.
SCANDAL a la Diavolo
"I am contractually obligated to make this face and ONLY THIS FACE every week, even when my tie is friendly."
SCANDAL Rangoon
Feeling like Fitz is on the case, Liv pretends to fix Jeannine's awful blouse while hissing that she knows someone got to her. Jeannine tells her what deal she made -- but not with whom -- and Olivia basically gives her a lecture on being able to look in the mirror and live with your lies, although she should be more concerned with looking in the mirror and living with her pants creases.
SCANDAL Mignon
Fitz. however, has other ideas: His solution is to tell Cyrus to make the B-Arthurs listen, in exchange for a statement confessing to an affair with Jeannine, which is what they've wanted all along. So Olivia, in doing two right things for mostly right reasons, ends up enticing FItz to do the wrong thing for the right reason; ergo, this episode is a wash. It's a tie.
SCANDAL'mores
Fitz's statement pre-empts Jeannine's interview, and the sound you hear is all the wind going out of Olivia's sails, and into that crease in her pants. Seriously, Olivia Pope should not have a polterpackage. Ever.
Pumpkin and SCANDAL-Chip Cookies
Sally is not thrilled, because she thinks -- correctly, for what it's worth -- that Fitz is a liar, but she also assumes he's trying to duck the promise he made to her about being an honest man and coming clean and trying to be better. He crudely intones to her that he had Jeannine all over that White House, and now he's atoning, so she can suck it. That is a rough amalgam of his words and my own.
Rhubarb CrumbSCANDAL
Here is Abby, again, looking totally foxy and hip and also a little bit like an undercover cop who doesn't know how hookers actually dress. That's a compliment. She tells Jeannine, kindly at least, that she'll get a big book deal out of this, and get all the riches she had wanted and now won't be paid by the White House. Monica Lewinsky may have Thoughts about that. Or she may have riches. I don't know her life.
Creamed SCANDAL
Quinn, meanwhile, got a Spidey Sense that she should hack into Olivia's e-mails. Huck is horrified by her Huckitude, until Quinn reveals that she found an e-mail chain from five years ago wherein Olivia and her father talked about a homeless man who saved Olivia from a mugging, and then all communications and weekly dinners just STOPPED, and the timing dovetails with Huck's rescue. Huck remembers Huck's old assassin buddy George Newbern asking for "the same deal [Huck] got," and Olivia reassuring Huck that she didn't get him a deal. This does not sit well with Huck, which is right about where I realized Huck did not realize the extent of Olivia's father's connection to the NKOTBs. Did he not see Rowan during his episode? I really thought he did... maybe he just didn't realize Rowan wasn't a lackey, or something? Honest question for the people out there with superior memories to mine.
EnchiSCANDALs
I like this actor, although I can't tell if that's because of his work here, or because I really loved every person on "Mercy" except maybe one girl. But when he's getting all Hucked Up, he emotes ENTIRELY by bugging out his eyes and panting, and it comes off so cartoonish, like he's one of the toons masquerading as a human in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"
Spicy SCANDAL Roll
So, he goes all HUCK SMASH on Olivia, choking her out until she admits that her father is Command, aka the supreme ruler of the BVDs. It is not Huck's finest hour, and he seems to know it.
Pepperoni SCANDAL With Extra Cheese
Olivia copes with this by drinking wine and wearing a cardigan, the way most of us do with a bad day. But then she gets a phone call from her father, and as she's chewing him out, he tells her, "Open your door." To her credit, she does look through the peephole first, and this is what she sees...
SCANDAL Tartare
Poor Noel. Maybe this time Felicity will choose him. Then again, this Felicity ALSO has a Ben, so... probably not.