Kerry Washington
I don't recall Jake Ballard arriving naked, Terminator-style, at her doorstep. Taking pains to nufidy him was VERY thorough fixing indeed, Olivia. She also seems freaked out to see him so weak, like she hadn't spent the whole last episode determining he was in her father's trauma hole, and she can't get Huck on the phone because he hates her now. If this were a USA show the poster would read, "He's broken. She's the fixer." And they'd be back to back, and one of them would have a pair of glasses dangling near their lips.
Worthy, Saner King
Olivia puts on her blue pantsuit of EVERYTHING IS FINE AND THERE ARE NO TRAUMA HOLE SURVIVORS LYING IN MY APARTMENT and struts into work with wanton disregard for her outfit's proportions. There, she finds a client, Cynthia Stevenson, who claims she has to dash off to a meeting on Capitol Hill but has a check for their full retainer and wants them to investigate the death of her son. Because of the SCANDAL about whether she was sleeping with Fitz, the company has no clients, so this is exciting to everyone except Huck. He has blown off work, isn't there, and won't answer Quinn's calls. I don't blame him on that one. I don't think I would answer her calls either.
Anger Whiny Stork
These two are hilariously disgusted with Cyrus's plan to send them to Camp David for a weekend of carefully choreographed moments displaying their abiding love and commitment to one another. They are both refusing to do it, while separately bickering about their son's ability to feed himself and their profound lack of attraction to one another. What is the end game here, exactly, for Mellie? If she's not going to play the game anymore, why is she even there? Why NOT just leave him high and dry, play the I Am Woman card, and run for office on her own terms? I think they have explained this in the past and I just missed it, but Mellie's sudden complete disinterest in Faking It plus her continued presence in the White House add up to a C & C Music Factory hit. As in, I am going HMMMM.
Hi Wonky Stranger
This guy sneaks into the White House, does a HORRIBLE job of acting nonchalant, and gets tackled before he reaches the Oval Office. But he says the magic word -- "Remington," as in the name of the operation Jake and Fitz were on together Lo Those Years Ago that seems to harbor a massive secret, or SCANDAL if you will -- and so Cyrus insists they let him go without any punishment.
Neath Kings Worry
But not before Mellie and Fitz are rushed to a bunker. I thought this was going to lead to protracted scenes of them stuck in here together, telling harsh truths, but in fact it is over before it even begins. So I'm thinking the show spent a lot of money on the bunker set and was desperate for another excuse to use it. How about a spinoff that is ONLY set in there? "This week on BUNKER: a Secret Service agent eats a forbidden sandwich; two interns discuss how much they hate the new Facebook layout."
Swanker Thy Groin
Quinn hacks into Cynthia Stevenson's bank account, because her check was for an eerily precise amount of dollars and cents. And she figures out that Cynthia cleared out her bank account, which rings a massive alarm bell in Olivia's head. Without even stopping to wonder if she could move faster without her swirly pant legs creating tiny cyclones around her ankles, she dashes to Capitol Hill...
Try Hearing, Wonks
... and finds Cynthia threatening Congressman Mark Moses with a homemade bomb strapped to her chest. Liv found her by the trail of terrified staffers running in the opposite direction, none of whom told her what was going on, stopped her, or tried to warn her. But let's also review: So far this season, the Secret Service has a) gotten hammered and divulged information at a local bar to a reporter, b) allowed Fitz to be filmed in an alleyway by someone who was peeing on a wall right next to the presidential limo, and c) let an intruder get near the Oval Office, while Capitol security let in a woman with explosives. Do we think maybe some extra job training is in order here?
Ringer Tank. Why So?
Cynthia's son's file is classified, but because Liv is her lawyer, Cynthia lets her call the Gladiators and get them to tape a bunch of photos to the wall. Harrison has matched his pocket square to his tie, and it's here that I realized he is this show's Ioan Gruffudd. He DOES dduff a mean ffudd.
Ranger Shit Wonky
Huck, meanwhile, is stalking Eli Pope/Rowan/B-AllThatYouCanBe's Commander. Huck is as subtle as if he were watching a Mack Truck yesterday and thinking, "Man, that thing is COVERT as HELL."
Why Sting Rank Ore?
Cynthia recalls her son being shot by the FBI in an apartment raid, because he was accused of terrorism. But nobody would tell her why, or for what; the file got sealed. And so she went slowly insane and made a bang-bang cocktail. I'm paraphrasing.
Yo Thanks, Wringer
Olivia has been allowed to speak to the police, who aren't amused that she's activating for Mama Terrorist, and she convinces Cynthia to let the other random employees out of the office. But Fitz, not knowing Olivia is inside, authorizes the cops' snipers to take a shot because there is a marginal chance doing this won't set off the bomb. When Harrison warns Olivia, she hurries to the window and throws open the curtains, figuring Fitz is watching and will freak out. He does. Everyone in his briefing room is all, "Huh, look at that," while Fitz shoots flames out his nostrils. He and Huck should get together and have a Subtle-Off.
Worthy Skin Range
"That's right, you magnificent bastard, THIS is how hot I would look with chicken pox."
Great Horny Winks
Cyrus forbids Fitz from taking Olivia's calls, for fear of another headline linking them directly. I am not sure how he thinks Olivia is going to stay OUT of this situation that involves the president, because she just did the cranky dance in front of the window. But whatever: Contrivance has passed Jake Ballard a joint, and so he tokes it, becoming the go-between between his erstwhile lover and Olivia Pope. JUST KIDDING. But that would be a good secret wouldn't it? But he does ferry information between the two of them, which is how Olivia finds out Cynthia's son's file is locked down hard.
Sneaky Grin Throw
Meanwhile, Crazy White House Intruder is hanging out in his trailer drinking beer, when Rowan shows up with a cash payment. It's his hush money to keep covering up Operation Plot Twist, which the dude doesn't want, because he has guilt or something. Guilt, by the way, looks like a dirty trailer and a suspiciously clean white tank top.
Stank Whiner Orgy
When Rowan leaves, he walks right into Huck's pistol. And of course, he knew Huck was tailing him, because he has eyes and ears.
We Raking, Shorty
Abby, looking like a surprisingly polished cross between Olivia Pope and Dorothy Zbornak, stomps into David Rosen's office and gets bashed in the crotch by her belt medallion. Fashion is pain. She convinces David that, despite his distaste for their methods, something strange is happening: Harrison was approached by an FBI agent with proof that Cynthia's son was an Al Qaeda recruiter, except when they run the plate, that agent doesn't exist. SHENANIGANS. David's justice G-spot starts to throb.
Shrew Nary Got Kin
This leads to a very terse negotiation scene with Cyrus, in which David holds the voter-fraud SCANDAL over their heads, and convinces Fitz to call Olivia -- in the presence of Official People -- and tell her the confidential contents of the file. It seems that Cynthia's son was a high-level CIA spy who'd gotten fifty-four agents trained and placed within Al Qaeda, but who was killed by accident because the FBI didn't know he was an operative. They can't tell Cynthia this because if it went public, it would expose those other Americans who are still embedded. Olivia initially refuses to play along with this, but then has a change of heart and tells Cynthia that her son was a terrorist. Cynthia breaks down, and then suddenly Mark Moses -- who was way better casting than this role demanded -- nods quietly and picks up his coat, signaling that it's time to leave. And somehow the lady with the bomb is like, "Oh, right, good idea," even though last I checked, her explosive Royal Flush beats his pair of nothing.
Yanking Throwers
So out they go... and then Cynthia, walking last, shoves Olivia out the door, slams it, and then explodes herself all over the walls.
Now Try Shrinkage
"Wait... should we NOT have let the crazy lady with the bomb walk out last?" Please note that the one extra sitting at the table isn't even looking at the screen. He's like, "You think this is shocking? LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THE WAR."
Shanty Reworking
"Oh, God, is that... ASBESTOS?"
Wry, Hankering Sot
Fitz passes by a darkened room in which Mellie is getting pickled on her dad's homemade hooch, which he gave them as a wedding present. Fitz joins her for a drink and asks if she's drowning her sorrows because she was hoping Olivia would die. Bellamy Young proceeds to act the hell out of Mellie's drunken, heartfelt, occasionally shrill, sometimes giggly, and totally evil speech wherein she tells Fitz she is THRILLED that Olivia is alive, because a dead Olivia is a martyr -- an untouchable spectre of perfection that can no longer be used as leverage -- but a living Olivia is Fitz's Achilles heel, and thus can be used against him. It's a great scene, and it's all going swimmingly...
Gins Rather Wonky
... until Bellamy gets up and walks out of the room, and employs the worst approximation of a drunk person leaving a room. It's like watching "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" as performed by a sixth-grade drama class. I love Bellamy Young in this part -- I think she gives a remarkable dignity and likability to woman who reacted to her horrible circumstances by sinking into the muck, instead of rising above it -- but this was funny in a not-good way. I cannot figure out why they didn't cut out of this scene earlier. Have your actress's back, y'all.
Reworks Anything
Olivia's suit has the good graces to look filthy after being adjacent to an explosion, but somehow Olivia made it out without a scratch. And without her coat. Does that mean the coat died in the blast? RIP, friend. You didn't deserve it.
Gory, Stank Whiner
Olivia is greeted by Huck, who is sitting in her chair going all Panting McBugEyes on her. I know people really love him in this role but it's SO over the top for me. Anyway, he huffs and he puffs that he intended to blow her house down -- by which he means, murder her father -- but instead her father ordered him to kill Trailer Guy. And so he did. Because Rowan/Eli Pope/Command of the Killer Bs still owns him somehow. And therefore apparently all he has to do is tell Huck to something, and Huck is like, "Well, YEAH, I should do THAT," so he does it in his typical conflicted yet also enthusiastic style, plus tons of heavy breathing and twitching eyeballs. He starts weeping, and Olivia bends down and hugs him.
Takes Horny Wring
So Olivia staggers home, and Jake is SO CASUAL, like, "Hey, you were in an explosion and I'm fresh out of a hole -- how about delivery?" And Olivia is like, "IT'S DIGIORNO," and kicks him out. Except, what she actually does is press him in that urgent, breathy, SCANDAL way on how, and why, he was released. She seems to have forgotten that last week she ordered Fitz to get him released, and Fitz did so by confessing to the affair. Maybe she didn't connect those dots, but seriously, those dots are about as subtle as Huck. Jake swears he doesn't know why they let him go; they just did. Olivia can't stop freaking out about what Rowan might want from him, or how he'll use Jake against her, but she knows now that Rowan owns everyone, always. Even her.
Thank Ornery Swig
Yes, you'll need that. And some refills.