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# Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 3, episode 4
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-scandal-episode-3-4/
- Published: 2013-10-28T16:00:44.000Z
- Updated: 2014-02-17T03:33:50.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35

## This week's anagram: Shonda Rhimes

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7219-1024x768.xml)

We join the action with Olivia in one of her wine cardigans, telling Jake Ballard he has to leave her apartment because she thinks her father is lying in wait to flip his switch and use him against her, just like he sucked in Huck again. All this stress has had a very unfortunate effect on The Pope Flip. It's super wonkus today. It's like the rest of her hair is trying to be soothing and that one part REFUSES not to fold itself into hair origami.

## Ho Shares Mind

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7227-1024x768.jpg)

Huck is at an AA meeting, delivering a whole speech about addiction that uses "whiskey" and "drinking" in place of things like "murder" and "bloodlust." Quinn followed him there and is eavesdropping from the door, unnoticed until her cell phone rings, because Quinn is the worst. Huck is bothered by all of this: her nosiness, her cell phone, the fact that it's totally unrealistic to anyone that she tracked him without him knowing it.

## His Hard Omens

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7222-1024x768.jpg)

iIn case it was keeping you up nights, these two are still keeping each other up nights. They're maybe dating, mostly sexing; he wants to go all-in and she's playing coy. He also wants them to help with some of his clients -- parents of a girl who was murdered, and they think the senator she was sexting is to blame. But therein lies the rub, in a really unfortunate punny way, because guess who is Pope & Associates' newest client?

## Harem Sins. Doh!

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7241-1024x768.jpg)

Meet Senator Patrick Fabian, and his wife Melora Hardin. Let's sum up: She's standing by him and is his alibi, until she finds out he's STILL sexting people even as he's in court pretending it was a one-time thing. But she gets on the stand anyway and tells the jury that she hates her husband and that he's a disgusting pig, but that doesn't change the fact that she was with him at the time of the murder. He is acquitted, at which point Patrick offhandedly mentions to Olivia that HE was at home alone then and his wife was the one out; Olivia figures out that the wife is the killer. Basically, she's Stabby Huma Abedin.

## Dim Rehash, Son

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7232-1024x768.jpg)

It also seems to be daytime, even though they were all called to work in the middle of the night by Harrison. Abby's new wardrobe this season is really heavy on the pelvic chains, which must be incredibly annoying in the bathroom.

## Oh, Snider Hams

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7235-1024x768.jpg)

Olivia went with a sassy short double-breasted coat, which I love. It is never allowed to be summer on Scandal.

## Or, Ms. Snide. Hah!

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7244-1024x768.jpg)

Plaid: For when you're conflicted about helping out a total jacknut.

## Hordes In Sham

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7246-1024x768.xml)

Here's my other thing about the Pope Flip: Olivia does not strike me as a fussy person. Her wardrobe, though stylish, is very simple. So I have a hard time picturing her plugging in her curling iron and then standing in front of the mirror every morning trying to achieve the exact right curl in the exact right spot, and then shellacking it with the appropriate amount of hair spray.

## Minors Hashed

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7254-1024x768.xml)

I've decided Abby's wardrobe upgrade is because it gets boring for the costumers to shop for Olivia's pantsuits every single week, no matter how well-tailored they are.

## Armed Hiss, Hon

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7276-1024x768.xml)

I'm trying to imagine how deadly it gets to block The Scene Where They All Stare Dumbfoundedly At The TV every single week. "Abby, get on the table." "I can't, I was there last time." "Shoot. Just stand there I guess. Harrison, did you stare pensively out the window yet this season?" "Nope. I'M ON IT."

## Dim, Harsh Nose

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7253-1024x768.xml)

Fitz is unhappy to learn that his old military pal Pete Foster "committed suicide." He's also unhappy that the paper only wrote four lines of original text on this page, preferring instead to copy and paste the same paragraph over and over -- one which bears passing resemblance [to the prop paper used in Mannequin in 1987](https://gofugyourself.com/fug-the-fromage-mannequin-07-2013/img%5F5990?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io). I seriously don't understand what's so hard about typing your own words. I do it ALL THE TIME. I just did it, in fact. Right now.

## Heroism Hands

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7282-1024x768.xml)

Because of Fitz's Hidden Past vis a vis Operation Remington, he arranges for Pete Foster to get a fancy military funeral at Arlington National Cemetery, at which time he hugs Pete's very grateful sister and tells her he never met Pete personally but that he's a forgotten hero. This enrages Cyrus, who only finds out about it because some gravedigger Instagrammed it, which might be the most realistic thing this show has ever done. Cyrus begs Fitz to let the past go, unless he doesn't want to be president again. Fitz barely agrees, because, I'm telling you, he doesn't want to be president again.

## Sad? Eh, his norm.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7283-1024x768.jpg)

Huck, though, also attends the funeral, because he is the Little Angel Clown Who Kills.

## Sidearm! Shh, no.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7266-1024x768.jpg)

"Hey, Jake Ballard. How's it going? Did you like my torture hole? I think I left some cheese down there."

## Random hiss, eh?

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7267-1024x768.jpg)

"You did, but after a while, it molded and turned into Stilton and it was delicious. Want to join forces to take down Command? ... No? Are you sure? Well, think about it, because you're getting pretty tiresome."

## Hone Ms. Radish

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7252-1024x768.jpg)

I an PRETTY SURE Lisa Kudrow is recurring, because in this hour we only see her twice, on TV, which would otherwise be a waste of money. She's making disparaging remarks about Fitz's inability to keep his trousers buttoned outside his master bedroom, and Mellie snarks that Lisa is hurting their re-election bid more than pervy sexter Patrick Fabian ever could. I hope this turns into Phoebe vs FitzMellie. My money is on Street Phoebe.

## Dishes On Harm

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7260-1024x768.jpg)

Mellie, wearing a killer fuchsia suit because rich tones look amazing on Bellamy Young, deploys a sweetness bomb when she's asked at this event about Lisa Kudrow's political aspirations -- basically, she says she champions any woman, in any party, punching at the glass ceiling... and then in private mutters, "Give any piece of trailer trash a push-up bra and a microphone, and the stupid flyovers will eat it up like fried Twinkies." Except everyone hears, because she doesn't check to see if the mics are still on. At first I thought that was too rookie of Mellie, but then I realized that her supreme overconfidence and general unhappiness make her ripe for that kind of flub.

## Admonish Hers

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7268-1024x768.xml)

Mellie is not happy that she has to apologize -- even her hair is flat with resignation -- and because she's the Bad Girl in this episode, she gets to suck it up while wearing black. Are we sure "Mellie" isn't actually short for "Maleficent"?

## Horseman Dish

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7285-1024x768.xml)

Cyrus sends his cute male assistant to Montana to dig up dirt on Lisa Kudrow, and he comes back with a story that she abandoned a baby when she was 15\. Cyrus is delighted with this dirt. He's also enraged at Rowan that he never heard about Pete Foster's death -- Rowan denies involvement -- and Jake Ballard eavesdrops on Rowan with radio equipment that is thwarted by a nearby field trip full of kids who start singing because Contrivance reached into their throats and plucked their vocal cords like guitar strings.

## His Damn Horses

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7288-1024x768.xml)

Thank God this show compensates Columbus Short with money and fun clothes, because they have nothing else or him to do except glare. Seriously, can they not think of ANYTHING? It's actually probably a boon to this show that it's made it into season three without backstory on anyone but Huck and Quinn, because that means when the engine slows down, they can rev it up again with their pasts. In the meantime, though, it makes them ciphers.

## Nimrod Hashes

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7289-1024x768.xml)

By the way, if anyone is tracking the Is Kerry Washington Secretly Pregnant, And If So, When Did Scandal Start Trying To Hide It storyline, I present this shot. Nothing to see here. However, Liv hears a news talk show discussing how it's been a busy time for her -- first she was The First Mistress, then she defended the real one, and now she's working for a gross dude. The anchors primly suggest that Olivia has lost people's respect, but the whole scene... I can't even describe how badly acted it was. I'm sure it was partly intended to sound patronizing and smug, but I also think it was executed poorly. You should go watch on Hulu and appreciate it for yourselves. Occasionally Shonda's shows make bizarre bad small casting choices that leap out at you because everyone else is generally very good (Private Practice was particularly guilty of this). I miss Perd Hapley.

## Him? No, she's rad.

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7296-1024x768.xml)

This scene, though, was wonderfully done. Cyrus is ragging on Mellie even after her apology, and Fitz steps in and defends her; when she thanks him quietly, he squeezes her hand and then keeps holding it (in a totally unrealistic waist-high position, but still) while he reads. Mellie's head snaps up and she hits him with this beautifully vulnerable look, where her eyes are pools of hope; then, in the few seconds they stand there silently, hands still clasped, Bellamy Young manages to communicate that a) Mellie slowly remembers their situation, b) realizes the gesture was probably more absent than anything, c) hates herself for how high her heart leapt; and d) hates him even more for it. The change in her eyes is like watching paint run down a wall, and suddenly, she's furious and snatches her hand away and stalks off. All while Fitz notices nothing except the departure, to which he reacts with his usual, "Huh? Oh, jus' Mellie bein' Mellie." That moment, to me, was better than any one-liner in this hour.

## She'd Mash Iron

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7309-1024x768.xml)

Purse porn. Liv is in White Knight mode, having just saved Patrick Fabian's behind, so it's only fitting that she'd have a crisp white bag in which to carry the tiny little portable curler she probably uses to fix the flip in the lavatory between testimonies.

## Her Sadism, Hon

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7315-1024x768.xml)

Quinn nags Huck about all that pesky killing, and why he won't confide in her about it. Huck snaps and tells her that she's NOT worried about him; she's INTERESTED, because she liked tasting his whiskey that one time, and now she might want to chug a whole bottle. And he thinks that is a bad idea, because, again, the whiskey here is murder. Don't drink murder.

## Hardens Him So

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7298-1024x768.jpg)

For reasons I don't even get anymore, Abby can't decide if she wants to date David Rosen. He does want to date, and when she tries to hedge and be cutesy, he tells her that he is OUT, even though that coat is where a lot of sexual fantasies begin.

## Shh! Raid me, son.

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7316-1024x768.xml)

So later, David is causing me to have a crisis of spelling (when a dude is having an sprawl-on-the-couch-with-a-beer sloppy bachelor night, where you know he just ate whatever was only slightly fungal in his fridge, I usually say he's "batching it up," except you wouldn't SPELL it what way -- you'd write "bach'ing," but that reads like he's listening to a lot of Bach, which... look, I don't know his life, maybe he is) and Abby sexts him something naughty from outside his door, and he pulls her inside, all while failing to get a confirmation from her that she's In It For Real. I like them together, but I'm not as invested in it as the show seems to think I am.

## Is Harsh Demon

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7305-1024x768.xml)

Huck figures out that Pete Foster was on Operation Remington, and does some tech-fu to gather confidential info. That plus Jake's incomplete intel leads to them realizing Pete was NOT the pilot even though he has some tattoo that says otherwise; somehow Jake knows that Fitz was the real pilot. But they don't know what that means yet, other than Shenanigans (wild guess: Pete later was drafted by Command to rewrite history, to Cover Up Something Major, taking the fall for Fitz even if they never had met in person); the two of them team up to freak out Liv by glaring through her peephole. She lets them in, hears their evidence, and responds the same way I wanted to...

## Sore Mind Hash

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7304-1024x768.jpg)

... except she is drinking out of fear and loathing, and I wanted to crawl into a wine bottle because Operation Remington seriously sounds like a covert corporate espionage prank about electric razors.

## Rod ham? She's in!

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2013/10/IMG_7323-1024x768.jpg)

You can tell Liv is still upset by the fact that her Wine Cardigan has a rolled-up sleeve only on one side, and that her bra strap is showing. Olivia is never this unraveled, even on her own couch.

## Rash Hedonism

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7326-1024x768.xml)

Naturally, it leads to face-suckage. Because when your lady was recently held hostage with a lady wearing a bomb and is going through deep emotional crises and is in love with the president, and you just came out of a torture hole that her father dumped you in, it's emotionally smart to have sex.

## I Had Horn Mess

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7328-1024x768.xml)

Fitz calls, though, and she takes it. He's having a rough night. He is always having a rough night, really, isn't he? Maybe he should go do some presidenting for a little while to take his mind off all the more important matters of his lovelife and Operation Shaving Cream. Olivia is trying to get him to talk, when Jake turns around and shouts, pointedly, "More wine?" Fitz hears, clams up, and then hangs up...

## Shade His Morn

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7329-1024x768.xml)

... and then Liv turns and gives Jake this look, as if to say, "You cheeky bastard. THIS Pope might be closing Vatican City to tourists."

## Hi, Ransom Shed

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7330-1024x768.xml)

And then Fitz stomps into Rowan's office and suggests it's High Time They Talked. This is not long after Jake had asked if Fitz knew about Olivia's dad's relationship to the BBCs, so I guess next week we're in for even more shadowy discussions. And maybe, just maybe, we'll find out how many blades are on Operation Remington's razor.

[Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 3, episode 4I liked this show better before it hit its head on the toilet seat and woke up thinking it was Diet Homeland.![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/img_7219-1024x768.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-scandal-episode-3-4-10-2013/)