Shopping Wives Club
So, Gus is off to space next, and because I don't remember my Space History, I was preparing for him to die. (He doesn't, but he does crash and almost drown because his Hatch Opens Prematurely, which I knew about but totally forgot. He doesn't die until 1967.) ANYWAY, Betty doesn't want to buy a new dress for her presumptive dinner at the White House, because she's superstitious, but Annie Glenn here talks her into it. (She doesn't get to wear it, because they don't get to go to the White House, because Gus's Hatch Incident was such a mess.) Anyway, Annie Glenn is very nice and interesting and also you should know that in this episode, everyone gets and loses a variety of quasi-Southern accents, other than Louise, whose accent remains perfect.
Jackhole Wives Club
Speaking of Louise, this dress is great and this scene -- where Alan tells Jack Parr (or someone) that marrying her was truly his greatest accomplishment, and she credits her great faith in the Lord -- is totally not pertinent to this episode AT ALL. Louise has loads to do without it, and I think it's things like this -- scenes that feel like moments the producers couldn't bear to cut -- that makes this show feel so unfocused. (And I sympathize. You guys, the first draft of The Royal We was 800 pages long! I FEEL YOU.)
Lavinia Wives Club
I just wanted to note that I didn't even realize Jo Schirra was also Downton's Lavinia Swire, Zoe Boyle. Her accent is great, and props to her for allowing hair to give her those CRAZY unflattering bangs.
Sweater Wives Club
Her hair is ALSO terrible, but that sweater is great. Rene gets a lot of good clothes this week. Yvonne Strahovski gets no lines, but she DOES get the best wardrobe. Anyway, all the ladies are bitching about how NASA has Louise well-programmed when a PI comes to the door to talk to Marge about her Great Secret Secrets.
SECRETS Wives Club
Let's just cut to the chase. This PI is working for a gossip rag that's threatening to blow the whistle on Marge's Huge Secret, that we still don't really know, unless she informs on the rest of the wives. Jo wisely suggests Marge tell Harry Goldenblatt about this, Marge does, the story is killed, and then Marge's husband gets grounded (it's implied as punishment for having a messy personal life). The end.
Who Cares Wives Club
When Marge talks to Harry, we FINALLY learn that she "lived in Japan for a number of years." Marge clears her throat. "When I was single. I know how that sounds," she says. WE DON'T. Like...you were a geisha? Like you have a weird affinity for sushi that America won't grasp until the 80s? That you were a spy for the Japanese? (Please let it be that one; that would be interesting.) I do not get this plot at all. Then Harry says, "yes, it is very unusual for an unmarried woman to work overseas," in a line that feels like it's addressing a network note that said, "WE DON'T GET WHAT'S SUCH A BIG DEAL WITH MARGE? WAS SHE A HOOKER?"
Marge then notes that she's also divorced and that's when Harry starts drinking. (I find it super hard to believe that NASA didn't run a rudimentary background check on everyone before sending Life after them, but whatever.) "Nothing that I did before I met Deke should ever hurt him," she adds. Okay, so I believe you guys when you say this would have been a big deal back in the day, and Wikipedia agrees that Marge had to keep this past from the press. But to me, it doesn't play here in the world of the TV show like a huge deal, and it seems to me like the show hasn't exactly hammered it in. Either really make a big deal about how Scandalous Divorce Is -- have Max Caplan: Reporter make a comment about it, which would actually also help some of the problems with the Trudy plotline -- or make her secret more interesting.
Freudian Wives Club
Betty wants advice from Louise as to how she remained calm while Alan was in space. I want a throwaway line explaining whether all of these women literally live on the same street. Max Caplan: Reporter is a good dude, and therefore he tells Louise that she can go off the record for this. "I refuse to waste time worrying. I have faith," Louise says, and I wish we knew if Louise really WAS religious or if this is just something she says. Like, does she BELIEVE this? This show is really bad at showing us the inner TRUTH of these people, which makes it hard to get a handle on them. I suspect it's in part because they were real people and they want to be supportive of their source material, but most creative pieces about real people manage, and I think they have to make a choice and go with it. Anyway, this isn't that helpful to poor Betty. Louise continues to say, basically, "JUST SHOVE ALL YOUR FEELINGS DOWN," and MC:R actually interupts to be like, "that's a real bad idea. DON'T BOTTLE STUFF IN." I think that Max might be my favorite character. He starts talking about repression and Louise literally is like "I HAVE TO GO NOW" and storms away.
Sexual Tension Wives Club
So, later -- this week? The next day? Two years from now? Who knows?! -- Betty tracks down MC:R, eating at a diner, and gives him a piece of her mind. She is MAD about the whole "repression" thing and points out that Max is the one who created this image of her in the first place. He's all, "yes, and that's for the public. Give poor Betty the truth." OMG, JUST MAKE OUT. These two are totally set up to have the We Hate Each Other Uptight Girl and Groovy Dude relationship that ALWAYS (in TV and sometimes in life) ends in sex and yet I am sure this show will not go there because of History. BORING.
Adorable Child Wives Club
This week, we learn that Gus Grisson is Real Nice and we should be Super Sad when he dies BUT NOT IN THIS EPISODE because he's very friendly to this ADORABLE CHILD (those knee socks!) whose mother is the housekeeper at his hotel. Gus is like, "maybe you'll be an astronaut one day!" and the Mom is like, "yeah, that'd be great except I really love this kid and I'd hate to shoot him into SPACE where he could DIE. OH SORRY."
Vaseline Lens Wives Club
Can we sidebar and discuss how half of this episode looked like it was filmed with a weird, fuzzy filter? I don't understand your camera choices sometimes, ABC.
Farewell Wives Club
In case you're wondering if this show can do swoony romance: "I love you Gus Grissom. You let me run the house exactly the way I want." So...no.
Betty does go on to tell Gus that he always takes her side in arguments, and is really nice and respectful to her, and he's a good father and loyal to her, and her best friend. "And you're mine," he says. So it ends well, and then they...hug? Come on, you guys. It's implied that they then move on Do It, but at LEAST go for the smooch! KISS HER OVER THE BATHROOM SINK LIKE A MAN, GUS.
Zzz Wives Club
Over at Trudy's, her husband is making a collage with their child, who is WAY TOO OLD for Odette Annable to realistically be her mother, so for a long time I thought she was just a random neighbor kid. Then there's some really heavy-handed blah blah about women pilots and Trudy's Broken Dreams. Her husband is like, "what you're doing is important, too" and goes to hug her and she's like, "YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT" and GOD, Trudy, just leave him. This particular storyline feels SO emotionally muddled and confused to me. I am actually really sympathetic to this plot in theory – girl pilots! Feminism! -- but no one's motivations are clear at all. She said she stayed with him for his career, but she appears to hate his guts (sometimes? Not all the time? I DON'T EVEN KNOW), so why does she care about this career? And the show is never clear on if we're supposed to like him or not. Later, she says she stayed with him because she wanted to be part of something, and that should be really sympathetic and good, and a real gut-punch when he points out that's she's not actually an astronaut and…yeah. I don't know what anyone wants here. Is she with him to use him to better her own career? Because "I hate you and you cheated on me, but I'll stay with you for your career" doesn't make a ton of sense. I liked it better when I thought she was using him for her beard, because she's having a secret affair with another wife.
Applicances Wives Club
Just a sidebar to note that I love Betty's pink fridge. Anyway, all the wives are over at Betty's to watch Gus, and the launch is delayed and my god this show is so married to historical detail, to its detriment. Just get to the launch! Anyway, Betty is rightly nervous, and Max Caplan: Reoprter is like, "do whatever you want. I'm going to write that you're a pillar of strength regardless."
Rene Wives CLub
I do Iove Rene, even though she has NOTHING to do other than wear the best outfits and bring a little extra zing to her lines about whatever dish she brought to whatever party she's attending. ("I'm bringing a new dish. It's called Chinese chicken salad. It's got cashews!") While they wait, Rene does her impression of a character the women call "Primly Stable" (which is very funny, but that name is probably funnier in writing) which Louise thinks is her but Marge is quick to point out, "it's who we're all supposed to be."
Stressed Out Wives Club
So, after the capsule is finally up, there's a lot of back and forth about whether Gus is okay because there's a kerfuffle with his hatch opening early -- he is, this time, to the great confusion of those of us who are bad at dates. So, once the good word is in, Betty comes out and tells the assorted press that she's overjoyed and then they're all like, "WHY WOULD HE DO SOMETHING SO DUMB AS TO OPEN THAT HATCH EARLY? IS IT BECAUSE YOU MAKE HIM CLEAN UP AT HOME!" and all these crazy questions and she's overwhelmed and honestly, did NASA really send these women out to face the press totally alone? That's an honest question. Because it seems nuts. If Harry Goldenblatt can squash a story in a gossip rag and doesn't want anyone to know that Marge was once...SINGLE IN JAPAN!!! ...then you'd think they'd send a press officer out to deal with this sort of thing. Also, don't ask me where MC:R is. He totally disappeared in this scene. For all I know, he's now living, single, in Japan.
Bickering Wives Club
UGH. JUST BREAK UP.
Jealous Wives Club
So, NASA gets the Grissoms a beach house to make up for the fact that they didn't get invited to the White House. "There's going to be an investigation," Gus says, and he's very calm about the whole thing and really, there SHOULD be an investigation TO SEE WHY THE HATCH POPPED SO IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN. Anyway, Betty gets her undercrackers in a knot and refuses anything from anyone who thinks he's "a hatch-poppin' liar!" They're also worked up that Bridgette Bardot made the cover of Life and not Gus. You guys, just be glad he's not dead. But it turns out EVERYONE in this Astronaut(s) Wives Club is jealous, because next we learn that Alan Shepard is jealous that Gus got a window!
Why Wives Club
I don't understand why this show doesn't only have one Space Event per episode. But it doesn't. So it's over to Annie Glenn's house, and here is the thing: This is actually a really interesting plot and sticking it randomly at the second half of an episode is one weird-ass choice. We know Annie has been practicing her "lines" so she can talk to the press without stuttering. But John's launch is delayed, and LBJ calls to talk to Annie about it, and we know she can't talk to him without stuttering. So there's a lot of convo about how to handle this -- Rene suggests the wildly dramatic option of telling the truth -- and Jo takes the call, and then has to tell Annie that LBJ is coming over to talk to her in person, and "they" want to film it. WHO IS "THEY?" Because NASA KNOWS SHE HAS A STUTTER. The thing is, this is apparently all TRUE, so...I am so confused.
All Hell Breaks Loose Wives Club
EVERYONE is arguing about how to handle this -- Trudy screeches that if Annie doesn't let LBJ inside her house, NASA will ground John, and then TWO SECONDS LATER Trudy is fine with not letting LBJ in, which...seems like a continuity error -- and Annie is basically like, "screw you all, I am just calling my husband."
Hot Bathrobe Wives Club
Also, please know that this entire story was told in a more complicated and convoluted fashion than this, which really says something because I have no idea what I'm talking about. Anyway, John asks Annie if she wants LBJ to come in, and she says no, and he says, "then don't let him in" and is basically just awesome to her. He's the hottest AND the nicest husband so far. "I'll be fine," he says. "I love you."
So Glenn gets grounded and I guess this whole story is true? It's so poorly explained and feels weird and makes NO SENSE. It makes literally no sense to me that NASA would ground the highly trained pilot who knows how to fly their mad expensive machine just because his wife is...kinda eccentric? (Which I assume was the explanation.) I am really not up on the space program so I trust one of you Space Nerds (I say this with love) will explain the historical deets of this to me, but...here's my big issue with this show. It seems VERY hung-up on accounting for a lot of nuts and bolts of actual historical events to its detriment (streamline your stories, guys!), BUT then won't actually explain what's happening. They seem to think they can't leave anything out AND that they don't have to explain anything at the same time. I feel like I missed an episode, the entire episode.
WADE Wives Club
But this was awesome. Wade -- sorry, Wilson Bethel will always be Hot Neighbor Wade to me, although here he's technically Scott Carpenter -- talks to the alternates for this particular Space Event, and they all refuse to go up. They are not going to let John be grounded because he's being supportive of his wife and YAY WADE. I suppose this is ALSO true? This show really wants me to spend a lot of time on Wikipedia. (Especially considering that it doesn't come with an opener of "this story is based on true events" disclaimer.)
I Have No Idea Where Anyone Is Wives Club
Gus and Betty make up -- are we supposed to believe they were snappy at each other for like A YEAR? That doesn't seem to make sense, but Glenn's orbit was like nine months after The Hatch, so....
Anyway, he shows her footage of how he almost drowned and tells her that the only thing that kept him going was her loving speech to him, and this part is actually really good. MORE OF THIS, PLEASE! I feel like this show would have worked better as an anthology with each episode focused on a different wife, but I also get why they didn't do that. I know I am complain-y about it, but I actually am highly sympathetic, because this is sort of hard to pull off. Anyway, they're all madly in love and he's so sad she didn't get to met Jackie and she doesn't care and, you guys, it's going to be sad when he dies.
Parade Wives Club
Because John Glenn is, at least in the world of this show, the best, he manages to get EVERYONE in his Celebratory Orbit Parade. Louise looks lovely and tells Betty that she held up better at Gus's launch than she, Louise, did at Alan's, and that was like nine months ago, so thanks for finally getting around to this, Louise.
Parade Wives Club
As we watch the parade, the News Reel Man tells us that the USA has caught up with the Russians and perhaps the Space Race Prize Shall Be Ours! We learn that Deke Slayton is next on deck....or IS HE?? Because we cut to the Slayton House, and Deke comes in all drunk and pissy, and I thought he might hit Marge for a moment, but no. He's just grounded. WHY??? No answer, but presumably as payback for having to squash her story about her years as a geisha?? We'll find out next week!