Floral Wives Club

Rene IS the most interestingly dressed of all the wives, so I was excited that this episode (nominally) focused on her. The costume department did not disappoint. The wig department, on the other hand...well, I have notes for you guys.

Pacey's Wives Club

Also, this is as a good a moment as any to note that the costume folks are doing an awesome job with Casual Dude Shirts of the Early 60s. There's a scene later where it's just Aloha Shirts Ahoy, and it's awesome.

Hair Wives Club

And I couldn't ignore this hilarious Portable Hair Dryer contraption on Trudy. I know these were fairly common back in the day, and it's beyond me how people didn't accidentally set their heads on fire.

FABULOUS Wives Club

This dress -- which Rene is wearing for her big "Nah, totes won't pray for my husband" speech -- is SO glorious and awesome. I love it. Additionally: the women now have NASA reps with them for these press conferences. Is this because Annie Glenn wigged out last week? Is it because Betty had such a bad time two weeks ago? NO ONE KNOWS! It might be because the show was paying Harry Goldenblatt anyway, so they thought they might as well throw him a line.

Hats Wives Club

On the other hand, here, where everyone is...I don't remember. Going to church or something. Everyone's always to'ing and fro'ing on this show and it all really blends together. I don't know why they're always MOVING THEM AROUND all the time. Of course, now they're actually moving them all to a subdivision in Houston, so at least we know where they're all going to be. What was I talking about? Oh, right. Every single hat here, with the possible exception of Annie's, is HIDEOUS and unflattering.

WIG Wives Club

And this WIG, you guys. THIS WIG. It's AWFUL. You can see where it's glued to her head. And I don't know why: Yvonne Strahovski is a blonde. Maybe she didn't want to cut her hair? But dude. This could not be the best they could come up with. I refuse to believe it.

Virginal Robe Wives Club

You should know that this episode includes TWO scenes where Louise and Max Caplan: Reporter are talking to each other when one of them is wearing a robe (at his turn, he at least has an astro-groupie in his hotel room, to Louise's modest consternation). It's of endless frustration to me as a storyteller to know that they're not ever going to bang.

Groovy Wives Club

You know these two are the hippies of the group because, in addition to the rejection of organized religion, Rene sometimes dresses like Dylan McKay that time he broke into his beach club cabana and cried; and Scott plays a guitar and sometimes doesn't wear shoes.

Hooker Wives Club

In case you're wondering what the hookers in Cape look like. Additionally: Trudy's costuming is confusing to me. She dresses and acts very no-nonsense. But her storyline is the most emotionally muddled -- I hate you! Don't touch me! But don't touch anyone else! But I HATE YOU! But this is a marriage of convenience! But don't act like it! But I love you! But I don't! But I do!

Workout Wives Club

I 100% do not believe any of these women did their workouts in the front yard. Period. This was for blocking purposes, so Betty could run up to them and talk them all into coming down to the launch For Reasons.

Bathing Suit Wives Club

This vintage swimsuit is too big on her, but it is AWESOME. This entire episode had awesome vintage bathing suits, in fact.

Tiny Child Wives Club

As a reminder, Xavier -- the child of the housekeeper, Fan of Space, and actor who gets to remind us that Florida has segregated beaches -- is still the cutest. I'd say I wish he had more to do other than pop up and say three things, but nearly EVERYONE on this show only gets to pop up and say three things.

Prints Wives Club

ALL of these Flowered 50s Day Dresses are appealing, although I might like Trudy's striped one the best. Just as I am sad that my plot suggestion that Louise and Max Caplan: Reporter bang like a screen door will never come to pass, so too am I sad that my theory that Trudy is a secret lesbian isn't true. I feel like a secret affair between a journalist and an Astro-Wife, and then a subplot about Trudy's Lesbian Angst, would be so good. Just imagine it! Trudy is secretly in love with Betty, and then when Gus Grissom dies, JUST THINK OF ALL THE COMPLEX EMOTIONS. Guilt! Love! Lust! Relief! Sadness! Self-recrimination! An inability to stay away! A desire to comfort! IT WOULD BE SO GOOD. Anyway.

Wallpaper Wives Club

I have literally seen Rene's shirt on a wall.

Bath Wives Club

ALL HAIL THE RETURN OF SHIRTLESS NEIGHBOR WADE. (PS: I miss Wilson Bethel's Alabama accent. He's actually from New Hampshire, but I'm so used to hearing him in his Hart of Dixie accent, which I didn't even realize wasn't real, that his shirtlessness seems like it's missing something.)

Speechifying Wives Club

He also gives Trudy a Real Meaningful Speech while they both wear shirts that COULD be paisley, but aren't.

Jammies Wives Club

This seems like the right place to admit that I LOVE 50s cotton pajama sets and I have a monogrammed one of my own.

Kate Spade Wives Club

And that this sweater is really great and also I know I've seen it in real life, recently, and it's driving me crazy trying to figure out where. WIVES!

Fug the Show: The Astronaut Wives Club recap, "Retroattitude"

Soooooo I totally forgot I hadn't written this recap until 6pm last night. And given that none of you asked me where it was, I am beginning to suspect this show is not long for the fugcaps. (I also say that every week. I'm like Dread Pirate Roberts over here. "Good night, Astronauts' Wives' Clubs. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.") Topline information about this episode: Everyone's accents leap all over the place; Yvonne Strahovski's wig is TERRIBLE; the outfits (on the other hand) are excellent; Hot Neighbor Wade lives through his flight despite a brief moment where he went missing, and then he takes his shirt off; this show has A LOT of exposition that, in the long run, is not really even that important. As far as the rest of the wives go: Trudy and Gordo have a series of conversations that clarify stuff we ALREADY KNEW (that he still loves her, and he's not cheating on her) and ends with her telling him that maybe they'll get back together, via the good line, "we're all moving to Houston to put a man on the moon. Anything is possible." That said, Odette Annable's acting choices in this role are very weird. She really enunciates every line in a way that makes her performance feel a bit like it's a bravura turn from the most talented kid in a decent high school play. Annie and John continue to be Holy Saintlike Creatures With No Flaws. He also continues to be very hot. Other than the above, Rene and Scott have issues with the press because she tells a bunch of them that she isn't going to be praying for Scott while he's in space. It comes out that she doesn't believe in prayer (she may not believe in God at all; for a show that loves exposition, it also forces the audience to fill in certain holes in weird ways, generally emotional ones) because they had a baby who died of SIDS. She ends up writing her own story for Life (freeing up Max Caplan: Reporter to moon over Louise, no pun intended) that does talk movingly about faith in general and I guess fixes their PR problem to boot. Good for you, Rene! I like you, even if you had a whole new speaking voice this episode. Betty Grissom makes a cheese ball with pretzels stuck in it, like a porcupine. Alan Shepard is a horndog and even the local hookers know it; Louise secretly wants to bang Max Caplan: Reporter, which would be interesting and therefore will never happen. Marge and Deke are in a tizzy because he got grounded (and replaced with Scott). HE thinks it's because NASA is mad that he backed up John Glenn telling Annie she didn't need to let LBJ in their house; Marge says it's because of his irregular heartbeat. WE have NO IDEA what the real reason is, and whether or not it has anything do with Marge's Scandalous Past in Japan, because the show has forgotten that happened maybe. Then Deke decides to stop drinking (was he an alcoholic? WHO KNOWS?!?!) and everything is great. Lavinia Swire and that dude she's married to (not Cousin Matthew) are really excited because Not Cousin Matthew is going up next. (In real life, Jo Schirra just died two months ago at 91.) TO THE OUTFITS! Since I've kind of given you the plot already, let's just look at the noteworthy stuff people wore in this episode and get on with our lives.