> ## Content Index
> Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further.

# Fug the Show: The Carrie Diaries, episode 12
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-the-carrie-diaries-episode-12/
- Published: 2013-04-03T21:35:50.000Z
- Updated: 2013-11-14T21:04:37.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:31

## Kyddshaw

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4518.xml)

These two crazy Kyddshaws are having a game night, and Carrie is being her usual self, and Sebastian is so overcome with adorableness and the power of Wig that he blurts out, "I love you." And Carrie smoothly responds by saying, "I want to have sex with you." Ah, romance.

## Trivial Pursuit

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4515.xml)

Behold, the Genus edition. The original. I still have this -- it's from back when all the categories were Geography, Entertainment, History, Arts & Literature, Science & Nature, and Sports & Leisure. I love Trivial Pursuit. My brain is too littered with the names of actors and celebrity offspring to be any good at it except in the pink category, but I still love it, and I remember when it came out and everyone was like WHAT IS THIS MAJESTIC NEW PASTIME?!? It was not, however, something most teenagers were happy to sit around playing while they had the house to themselves, much less when one of them says "I love you" and the other one says "Let's get nasty."

## Carrie and Mouse

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4519.xml)

Carrie, in fact, can't believe she didn't say, "I love you too." But she always wants everything to be perfect, because she thinks every milestone in life should play like the end of a rom-com. Mouse is like, "Why are you asking my advice? I'm wearing a neck doily."

## Deb

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4522.xml)

Dadshaw, meanwhile, is making booty call plans with the single mom he hooked up with last week (if you're wondering what you recognize her from, the answer might be [everywhere](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0197453/?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)). Deb is upsetting me because, while I know not everyone in the '80s dressed super aggressively insane, if I told you this slide was accidentally a screen grab from *The Client List* or *Revenge* or whatever, you might believe me. She looks aggressively TODAY, with nary a hint of 1985\. Shouldn't she look more like Kirstie Alley in *Look Who's Talking*, or something? Big hair, puffy sleeves, a son whose inne monologue sounds like John Travolta?

## Dorrit and Miller

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4525.xml)

I just realized I haven't shown this kid's face that much, so [here he is](https://www.imdb.com/media/rm2549391872/nm5066351?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io). I ALSO feel like he looks a little too modern, but since I wasn't paying attention to boys much in 1985 unless they were in my second- and third-grade classrooms or were George Michael, I can't really comment. Anyway, he and Dorrit are smoking pot and talking about books and kissing and he's saying totally unreal things about how great she is -- not because they're not believable, but because he talks like a movie's ideal of a teen boy, in a way where 99 percent of those who've been on the receiving end of Teen Boy Mackage can swear does not exist. Dorrit admits she only dresses the rebel to annoy her father, except he seems fine with it so now it's boring. He tells her the best rebellion is the one where nobody knows it's happening, so basically, Dorrit is going to go back to looking like a non-rebel and call THAT rebellion.

## Larissa and Carrie

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4527.xml)

*Interview* is having another big party, this time for Madonna's Like a Virgin album. Seriously, celebrity bashes are to this show what Adorable Small-Town Festivals That Never Seem To Repeat Themselves Year-To-Year are to my beloved *Hart of Dixie*. Carrie is like, and I'm paraphasing, "I never even thought I'd want to wear a wedding dress until I saw Madonna in that one," which seems totally off the mark for her at this point in her life, based on what we know of her, and the fact that she's a girl who dreams in Big Moments. Carrie looks typically bright and cute, Larissa is typically loud (is she re-wearing those pants? You'd think I'd know, but I'm terrible), and we all need to ogle the photos on the wall. Look at that sketch of John Travolta in the top left corner. Days of yore, man. We're all old now.

## YES

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4531.xml)

Also, again, we need to applaud the work on the extras. LOOK AT THAT HAIR in the background. That is definitely what Donna LaDonna should look like, and Deb should probably have a shade of that also. Hell, Miller could even use some volumizing.

## C and S

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4534.xml)

So, these two: Carrie still hasn't said I Love You, and every time Sebastian thinks she's going to, she says something else. Here, she's inviting him to the Madge party, with Larissa's blessing. And they're going to stay in the city in a hotel and have the sexytime. Dadshaw said yes, because she a) lied that she'd be at Mouse's, and b) he wants to have sex with Deb that same night, so he is preoccupied with trying to remember how it's all done.

## C and D

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4540.xml)

Dorrit has washed her face and it takes Carrie by surprise, so she tries to speechify about how you should never change yourself for a boy. Dorrit insists she isn't, although I'm not sure how true that is. I also find her skirt amusing. And if she is the type of person to own pastel knits and pony skirts, then how massive was the shopping spree she went on -- I guess recently? -- to buy all he rebel gear? I can't imagine Dadshaw being all, "Oh, it's just a phase, so let's run with it -- here, honey, I found some anarchy socks you're going to love." This show can't decide, basically, how long Dorrit has been unpleasant and a wannabe rebel-punk. Sometimes they act like she's always been this way, and then they turn around and imply it's been since her mother died, which was just three months before the show started. I just need some consistency, y'all.

## It's no "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4541.xml)

I just thought you'd want to see this poster. This song lacks the inherent ridiculousness and car-singing catchyness of "Do They Know It's Christmas," which also comes with deliciously melodramatic line deliveries from George Michael and Simon Le Bon and Bono. IT"S THE BEST. But "We Are The World" is quite the time capsule also, and... had less misguided lyrics.

## We Are The World Club

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4543.xml)

Mouse is trying to best West Thomas West by adding a million extracurriculars, so she started a club to box up chocolate bars in the name of world hunger. Every little bit helps, I guess? But nobody wants to stay if they're not just going to sit around watching the "We Are The World" video, so everyone but WTW leaves. We also need to applaud the extra on the right, sitting at the desk, because her styling is the PERFECT embodiment of your average '80s high school student. MORE PLS.

## Like a Kyddshaw

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4545.xml)

So, these two show up at the Plaza for Madge's party, and Carrie is in another tight, tiny sparkly number that I'm not sure when or how she procured. Couldn't some of the scenes set in the diner be instead at some kind of shopping excursion? I know, budgets and blah blah blah, but since clothes are a big part of the show -- and they WANT us to look at them, in the vein of Pat Field's Carrie Bradshaw -- I feel like SOMETIMES we at least need to address the acquisition of Fancy Things, especially Fancy Things That Will Lead To Deflowering.

## Burnin' Up For Your Kyddshaw

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4548.xml)

Whoops -- Sebastian isn't on the VIP list, and Carrie can't get him in; this upsets her because Perfect Night Yada Yada Yada, so she decides to go in alone and find someone to help. This works, but her constant apologizing about leaving Sebastian alone, coupled with the fact that she still DOES leave him alone, makes him standoffish and frustrated and Carrie still hasn't told him she loves him, which is... seriously, if I were 16 and a boy that dreamy told me he loved me, I'd be SO PARANOID about waiting too long to say it back that I probably would've just blurted it out in the middle of math class or something.

## Mouse and WTW

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4550.xml)

And obviously, WTW is overcome by his attraction to Mouse's crazy competitive mind and her perfectionism and the incredibly unflattering cardigan she is wearing...

## BAM

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4551.xml)

... so of course they jump each others' bones and do it on the floor of the classroom. Which is probably one of Mouse's fantasies. Let's face it, the only way this could be awesomer for her is if she'd managed to write a paper at the same time.

## Dorrit

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4555.xml)

See how pretty Stefania Owen is?

## Donna LaDonna

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4557.xml)

Donna bumps into Clean Dorrit at the diner, and deduces that she has a boyfriend she wants to have sex with; it seems totally absurd that these two would be having this talk, but also, in a weird way, I bought it, mostly because the actors totally sold both the unlikeliness of it and the heart of it. Anyway, Donna kind of tells her that you ALWAYS change who you are for a boy, and that sex is great currency, sort of -- basically, a lot of bad advice, except for the part where she reminds Dorrit that sex isn't love. And Chloe Bridges does the whole thing in that HORRIBLE SHIRT, and my R key is sticking and I have to pound it like six times to get it to type, so that came up first as HORRIBLE SHIT, and that also fits. Unlike the shirt.

## Deb and Dadshaw

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4558.xml)

Deb, meanwhile, is wearing basically EXACTLY the same outfit she had on earlier, except darker jeans. Does no one care about poor Deb's wardrobe?

## Dadshaw, Interrupted

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4561.xml)

Dadshaw sneaks out of Deb's bed to go to the bathroom, and bumps into he son, whom he didn't realize was home. The son is totally chill about this, so of course Dadshaw goes back into Deb's room and freaks out loudly about how she shouldn't have sex with men while her kid is home and DOES THIS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME and why why why. Deb, offended, kicks him out of her bedroom, because she didn't want to cancel their date just because her ex canceled on taking the kid. I get that, but... it IS kind of weird, because where was the kid before, when Dadshaw arrived? Did she just tell him to stay in his room? Was he already asleep? Didn't she mention, during the house tour we saw her give him, "And that's my son's room, but shh, he's asleep already"?

## You Must Be My Lucky Bradshaw

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4559.xml)

Bennett begs Carrie to help him get quotes because the party is ending earlier than expected, and assigns her the "Like a Virgin" songwriter. She ditches Sebastian to do it. And it's right here that I realize -- with the hair like that, the dark-bow headband, the strong brows, and the necklaces and glitter -- she is essentially attending a party FOR Madonna, dressed as a mini-Madonna. That seems less like an homage than just... sad, and maybe kind of awkward if they had actually run into each other. Fortunately CNN did not loan them their election-night hologram technology to make 1985 Madonna appear.

## Keep On Pushing My Love Over the Kyddshaw Line

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4565.xml)

So when Carrie cruises out of the party in her never-before-seen but enviable houndstooth coat, she is gushing about getting her "additional reporting by" byline in Interview, and Sebastian is huffy, because he thought this night was about THEM and instead it's been all about her. It's interesting, because Sebastian clearly likes Carrie because, in part, she gives him something his parents and Donna never did: She values him as a human being. And so he feels her slipping away, drawn toward another goal, and he can't handle it. It's a sympathetic point of view -- his parents ARE terrible -- even though he does also need to suck it up and remember that this was a work party for her, and that he is a big boy who doesn't need hand-holding. Carrie is frustrated because she KNEW he was holding these things against her even though he claimed he wasn't, and that he's pulling the "You're an overthinking, overtalking, dramatic perfectionist" line on her again which he's already used once, and which he seemed to have gotten over. He admits he's hurt she didn't reciprocate the I Love You, she repeats she wanted it to be perfect, yada yada yada, she blurts out, "MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST BREAK UP THEN," and he's like, "FINE MAYBE SO."

## Love Don't Kyddshaw Anymore

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4570.xml)

And Mouse tells Carrie to talk to him, but she won't try. I feel like a grand gesture might have worked, but she thinks it won't, and also, he is at fault also and you can't just absolve his attitude without compromise. So instead she talks about how she loves him, and cries. Aw. Poor Carrie.

## Mouse and WTW

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4573.xml)

Mouse runs a ton of clubs with no members but her. WTW stalks them all, and finally gets her to agree to a date with him, because all his club-stalking has led to them doing things that actually impressed a faculty member into giving them both good recommendation letters. Somehow this makes Mouse feel better, as if she was in ANY danger of not getting a good rec. But the notion that dating WTW might not hurt her GPA, after all, cheers her up into accepting a date, even though she acts all grudging about it. Girl, he is holding a watering can for you. At school. ON A SATURDAY. Snap that up.

## Dorrit and Miller

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4575.xml)

So, this pair, with their double-letters in the middles of their six-letter names, just goes and has sex in Dorrit's bedroom while eveyone is home. This clearly is not going to last through next episode.

## Carrie

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4577.xml)

And the episode ends with Dorrit getting what she wants, and Carrie getting heartbroken, and ... I don't know, Dadshaw getting coffee or toast downstairs, or something. Season -- hopefully not series -- finale is next week. COME ON WALT. I miss you.

[Fug the Show: The Carrie Diaries, episode 12In which Dorrit washes all that stuff off her pretty face, two out of three Bradshaws have sex, the most interesting character (Walt) gets sidelined with only one episode to go (sigh), and Larissa gets about three lines before all the requisite jokes behind her back about what a coke fiend she is.![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/cimg_4518.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-the-carrie-diaries-episode-12-04-2013/)