The Hipster Diaries
So, Sebastian remains so cool that he is dressing FROM THE FUTURE. I really don't remember any boys in 1985 having the wherewithal to wear jeans that weren't hilarious. But Sebastian is the best boyfriend in the universe, basically -- for real, he is SO UNDERSTANDING and gives good advice and has a heart of deepest gold and whatnot -- so he also gets to look better than any other boy in 1985. Carrie, meanwhile, is in modern gray boots and a hat that she should avoid ever wearing again because it is really not her jam. Not even if you added peanut butter to that jam.
The Skeptical Diaries
They stop because everyone is taking pictures of a hawk eating a pigeon. TEAM HAWK. Carrie's face mirrors mine when I realized they were trying to frame this episode as a dog-eat-dog/creature-eat-creature kind of thing, in such literal terms.
The Admissions Diaries
Carrie has gotten into NYU, a scene that makes me super nostalgic for The Olden Days. I'm sure waiting for an email is just as nerve-wracking, but for my money, college acceptances and rejections aren't the same if it's not waiting for your mailman, obsessing over the size of the envelope, wondering if something might've gotten lost in transit, and cursing the vagaries of a postal system that gets your friends' letters arriving earlier than yours. It's such glorious agony.
The Accessories Diaries
Carrie also has taken to wearing larger and larger necklaces, as if to distract us from the distinct non-80s-ness of her outfits. Points for the hair, though -- the last few episodes have had some nicely large, teased-up coifs that are very in sync with what I remember. I just watched "Roxanne" on cable the other night and the waitress who ends up with Rick Rossovich (SPOILER, I guess, except not) had hair just like this.
The Jones Diaries
Samantha has, inexplicably, gotten a wardrobe upgrade even though she still can't hold down a job and her plots every week involve her popping up and announcing a new random gig -- here, she's going all-out to find someone's bird for a $500 reward. It's resourceful, but at some point, if she's going to become THAT Samantha Jones, she has to move away from being this one. The wardrobe helps, EXCEPT that we have no idea where she's getting the money for any of it. Maybe Larissa is letting her take home the dregs of the "Interview" styling closet.
The Lingerie Diaries
Let's make this fast: Maggie likes Army Guy. Let's call him Harry. And Harry likes Maggie. But Mouse thinks Maggie has sex too quickly and then equates it with love, and wants her to slow down so as not to mess this up. That is a GROSS oversimplification of Maggie. 1) She and Walt dated for AGES without having sex and claimed they were in love first; 2) She only slept with the cop because she and Walt weren't having sex and she was scratching an itch, and also trying to make herself feel desirable because Walt wasn't jumping on it; and 3) Those are her only two relationships. So Mouse is basically incorrect and not helping. And to avoid getting naughty too fast, Maggie is so standoffish with her smitten, romantic Harry that she almost blows it. But then she comes clean with him and they make out and are in love and agree to do things right. THE END.
The Hair Diaries
It DOES give is one shining Donna La Donna moment, wherein her hair is sideswept and resplendent, and her shirt is like discount "Xanadu."
The Workplace Diaries
Cara Buono, aka Dr. Fay from "Mad Men," plays a lawyer negotiating a merger with Dadshaw. She tricks him into thinking she's helpless so she can snag a private file, so of course this ends in mutual respect, Dorrit helping him scam her back, and then Dadshaw and Cara having lots of sex in the conference room while billing their clients for extra hours. I love Dadshaw so much. And I REALLY love him making use of Dorrit's evil streak.
The Jerk Diaries
Bennett is so messed up by everything that he's stopped coming to work, and blows off an assignment. Carrie writes a story under his name, to help, and naturally Larissa thinks it's GENIUS. Carrie is peeved that she's not getting credit -- especially when Bennett gamely accepts it and then keeps blowing things off -- but Sebastian awesomely points out that she can't do someone a covert favor and then expect a statue erected in her honor; and that, much like you can't lend anyone money with the expectation that it will be paid back (PROPHETIC), she has to dial down her need for praise here. He ALSO notes that if she wouldn't have been prepared to take the blame if Larissa hated it, she can't now demand credit just because Larissa loved it. He is so freaking reasonable. WHERE WAS HE in my young adult life? God.
The Glitz Diaries
Meanwhile, Larissa wears this, which I actually like. I don't know if that's a necklace, or a shirt collar, but it's fun, as is the sparkly cardi. It's weird to feel covetous of Larissa's things. Yet here I am.
The Gala Diaries
Bennett skips a Met Gala where he's supposed to interview a 17-year old ballerina, so Carrie calls and signs herself up, with Sam as her plus-one. It's here that Sam bumps into her new flame, a guy she met while bird-hunting, and for whom she has budding feelings. It turns out he's married, but it's an open marriage, of course. Meanwhile, where did either of these two come up with these dresses? Let's deal with Sam: WHAT. She looks like a cross between a genie and a Phantom of the Opera whose mask is worn on the torso instead of the face. It's HIDEOUS. It's cutting into her stomach. I really wouldn't be surprised if she'd used scissors to cut that one-sleeved dickey from a full dress, rather than have to buy a necklace.
The Fountain Diaries
And then Carrie's dress. It's pretty, and very unusual, but WHERE do we think she got a full-length ball gown? She does not have that lying around her house, at all. No one her age does. I feel like... let's pretend she borrowed it from "Interview," because that's all that makes sense. It's also insane that this ballerina insisted on being interviewed outside, next to the Lincoln Center fountain, in the dead of winter. (Is that fountain even on in the dead of winter? I can't remember.) It's a very pretty shot, and it reminds me of when Carrie and Aidan broke up at Columbus Circle in HBO's Sex and the City. Big things in her life happen at fountains.
The Bunheads Diaries
THIS big thing is that the dancer, played by a girl from "Bunheads," gives Carrie a bracing and honest interview because she likes that they're the same age. She shit-talks the dysfunction in ballet while voluntarily wearing that giant feather headband, which is a bit like the pot calling the kettle bloated. The chat underscores the idea of how cutthroat you have to be in order to seize your opportunities. I like this plot idea -- the notion of how Carrie got started, how gutsy she had to be, whether she ever had to step on anyone. It works. They make a point of Carrie asking if she's keeping this all on the record, and the girl agreeing; I was nervous this was going to a place where she then recanted everything after it was in print and accused Carrie of wrongdoing. But so far, no.
The Skeleton Diaries
This sweater amuses me. Thank you, Dorrit, for having good sweaters.
The Daddy Diaries
So, Papa Kydd shows up, and he's blown through his money in bad investments and wants Sebastian's trust fund. Isn't it HANDY that Sebastian used that money lending analogy earlier. Sebastian can't bring himself to spurn his father, so he gives him the money and tells Carrie he'll sell his Porsche to pay for his rent until his skateboard company takes off. (I thought this was heading toward his dad stealing that company from him, but no, just his cash.) I appreciate this show answering the question of how he will pay for his life, even if it's just a temporary fix. I hope this leads to him getting a job at McDonald's. I want to see one of those little hats on Austin Butler's hair.
The Objection Diaries
Carrie and her string of large necklaces turn in a killer story about the ballerina, with her name attached, as she comes clean to Larissa (who knew all along, I guess). This gets Bennett fired for slacking, and he's enraged, and Carrie is indignant. All sides feel relatable: Bennett is acting like a douche but she should've told him she was going to take the story; Carrie maybe was a little aggressive but she's also right to think she needs to take chances and that Bennett wasn't going to cover the story himself; and Sebastian is right that Carrie should just admit to herself that she knew deep down there would be consequences for Bennett getting busted, and that she's not all that sorry because those consequences benefit her. He's not judgy about it; just realistic. It's very nice to see two teens on TV having a really honest, friendly romance. They're very up front with each other, and very functional.
The Dumping Diaries
Samantha dumps Mr. Open Marriage because she wants him to herself, which is SO TOTALLY the whitewashed CW version of Samantha Jones. Also WHERE is she getting the money for all her accessories? She must make GREAT tips being Lady Godiva at that gay club.
The Country Strong Diaries
And this is now the second thing I've recapped involving a bird and the metaphor about its health and freedom. BULL TRUE. Sigh. She finds the bird, she returns the bird, she doesn't take money for the bird, she feels free as a bird, she likes Big Bird. At least this bird is not in a box. YET.
The Skirt Diaries
And then, Carrie gets a promotion of sorts and takes Bennett's desk -- although surely not his job, because HE got a huge promotion a couple weeks ago and SHE IS STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL AND TAKES NOTES BY HAND. She also must be trying to fight against the absurdity of Larissa's pants by wearing that tiny tiny skirt, but it's about six inches shorter than anything she would actually wear. It's basically a tennis skirt. It's MINISCULE. It can't even find ITSELF.
The Glasses Diaries
But she does bust out another shirt with eyeglasses all over it, although this one is a big big and unflattering -- which, I guess, is just as it should be. The 80s was the big, unflattering decade. I could also do without the necklace with the giant Cs hanging all over it, but I guess she is C-zing the day... HAR.