The Floral Diaries
Carrie is shopping for Prom dresses, and apparently when she does it, she takes shoes into the dressing room with her. Unless she was already wearing these, but -- SPOILER -- they are not the shoes she ends up sporting, so it's not like she had bought them first and brought them to make sure they matched the dress. They are EXTREMELY CUTE but they have totally given up on pretending she wears anything 80s.
The Dadshaw Diaries
There is a brief moment of melancholy wherein Carrie recalls thinking she'd be doing this with her mother, as Dadshaw heartily loves everything and then hates it if Carrie decides it's not right. And this one is wrong for many reasons, one of which is Insufficient Poofyness and the color palette and Attempted Tastefulness.
The Cash Diaries
Mouse is stoked because the Prom committee ended up with an extra $10,000. I enjoy this shot of her ogling the money as lustily as if it's a course catalog from Harvard. But Mouse doesn't know HOW they got this money. Who DOES know? Donna...
The Car Wash Diaries
Here is my question: If Mouse is on the Prom committee, how did she not know that there was a car wash? Which suggests that perhaps Donna independently decided to put on short-shorts and a white shirt and a pink bra one day and get wet and soapy for cash. You'd think Mouse might even have heard, through word of mouth in their small suburb, that a naked high-schooler was washing cars.
The Jacket Diaries
Am I crazy, or has Donna worn this before? I might just have neon blindness at this point. Anyway, Donna accidentally drops her course guide to Columbia, and Mouse realizes with great shock that Donna is... gasp... SMART. Donna immediately begs Mouse to keep her secret, because she's SO CLOSE to being Prom Queen, and she has played high school perfectly so she could meet all the jocks and rule the school and get the crown AND still go to a good school. Mouse doesn't get why anyone would want to pretend to be dumb -- thus fulfilling the moral message portion of the show -- but also is totally tickled that Donna is also a genius of the evil kind. It's a funny gag, too, but come on: If Donna were doing that well that she got into Columbia, she'd probably be somewhere in the class rankings. And if you don't think Mouse knows the Top 20 like the back of her hand, then you don'y know Mouse.
The Blouse Diaries
I feel like I've seen THAT blouse TOO, but again, maybe it's just that people on a lot of shows have a tendency to wear things that look like candy. I don't like the necklace she's wearing with it, though. Carrie, your accessories are not tricking us into thinking you're really a child of 1985, so you can hit pause now.
This scene is just about the group deciding to go to Prom together -- Sebastian was expelled so he can't go; Mouse is single; Walt is back in the closet; and Maggie is going to ditch her Army boyfriend so she can round out the foursome. But then Donna comes in and announces she's spent their extra money on booking the Waldorf Astoria for Prom, and Walt starts to get nervous because New York is full of lusty memories.
The Rebel Diaries
Dorrit is basically hiding her relationship with Scott from everyone, presumably because he's so nice and that's not her M.O. He is a junior so he invites her to Prom and she refuses, and yada yada yada he convinces her that they should wear the most princessy, ruffled, awfully over-the-top Prom clothes ever so that they can go subversively. Dorrit loves this idea.
The Dog Diaries
This dog wins for breaking the fourth wall with such a doleful expression. Basically, Sebastian's mom got a puppy but puppies are HARD Y'ALL and so she makes Sebastian take him, which just means we get an episode full of shots of Adorable Austin Butler and Adorable Puppy He Names Ollie so that the portion of our brains that responds to cuteness can start convulsing.
The Job Diaries
I was sure that dress would turn out to be Betsey Johnson, but in fact, it's Kate Spade, which I know because I saw it on sale at Bloomies yesterday. Larissa swans in and tells Carrie that she fought long and hard for Carrie, and finally she can offer Carrie a full-time job at Interview. It's the job Bennett just got fired from, and a job rife with college-graduate applicants apparently, which... let's review: Bennett worked at Interview forever. Bennett JUST got a big promotion three episodes ago or whatever. And then Bennett got fired and they're replacing him with an 18-year old intern who isn't even out of high school? That's not happening. At the very least wouldn't you think they'd offer Carrie regular freelance gigs while she goes to college, and then tell her they'll give her priority if there are job openings when she graduates? Regardless, in this show's world, Carrie has a big decision to make between Interview and NYU. And they rhyme, so that could make for some nice angsty poetry, if she's so inclined.
The Hair Diaries
Sebastian has been allowed to style his hair differently, which somehow makes him look LESS 80s to me, but whatever. His head is timeless hotness. Sebastian listens patiently to Carrie's dilemma and offers awesome support, because he is the greatest TV boyfriend. Jess and I were talking about how it's a shame nobody watches this show, because he Austin Butler is the swooniest love interest around -- he's super cute, he's polite, he's respectful, he's supportive, he's not afraid to call Carrie out on her shit but he does it nicely and in a way that never makes her doubt that he still loves the hell out of her, he puts up with a lot of drama and doesn't act like it's work to do so, and he's so RATIONAL. Like, you forget how dreamy a quality RATIONAL can be. I guess that's how I know I'm old.
The Prom Dress Diaries
And so here is Carrie's prom dress. Listen, I've said it before, and I'll repeat it: I understand this show's struggles with veracity versus not wanting to turn off its teen audience, but this is PROM. That looks like a modern dress that someone confetti'd in the hopes that it would look more era-appropriate, but it does not. NONE of this works, including the fact that she's wearing massive long extensions woven into her messy ponytail/arrangement thing. Were hair extensions even in the vernacular for high schoolers in 1985? Maybe because she's in New York, and at a magazine, she's exposed to more ideas. But for a show so fond of making big jokes out of things that are now commonplace, it feels like they missed an opportunity to have her marvel at people putting boatloads of fake hair into their ACTUAL hair. So anyway: ASR looks facially beautiful, of course, but the dress... hey, it's a festive attempt, at least? But I really wish they'd gone all-out. SPEAKING OF WHICH...
The NO Diaries
... COME ON. If Dorrit is supposed to be wearing the most iconically crazy pink prom dress she can find, where are HER giant poofy sleeves? She should look like a cupcake. Or one of those rosettes people win at State Fairs. She should be wearing a hot-air balloon on each shoulder. DISAPPOINTED.
The Squabble Diaries
At one point, Walt was uncomfortable with anyone at school finding out he was gay. Now, he's in the middle of the dance floor, talking to Carrie about Bennett and his sexuality and stuff RIGHT next to a bunch of couples who are not only within earshot, but also totally listening. Carrie makes the mistake of trying to claim she understands Walt's life struggles because she has to decide whether to go to college and make her dad happy, or work at Interview. Walt is like, "Are you KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" And explains to her very eloquently that he wanted the picket fence and the wedding and the kids, and being gay means he has to say goodbye to that, and a lot more future discrimination besides, from his parents and other people. I love you, Walt. She's being a dink. TELL IT LIKE IT IS.
The Skater Diaries
Sebastian and one of his skater dudebros are talking about work, and he realizes he needs to live in California. He will also realize this later, when some lady screams at him for letting his dog off the leash, as if California is some kind of lawless place where everyone can do anything they want at all times and New York is a police state.
The Donna Diaries
This is a much BETTER hideous dress, but it still could've been more '80s. SIGH. It's fourth down, sure, but the game is going to end soon so it's your last chance. WHY ARE YOU PUNTING.
The Smart Diaries
At least Mouse is vaguely poofy. She's also annoyed that Donna is so ashamed of being smart, and Donna tells her she's kind of relieved it's coming to an end because the Jens are dingbats. Guess who is listening? The Jens. I'm unclear whether it's Original Blonde Jen or the hologram, because let's be honest, I never really processed any of the Jens.
The Sniffle Diaries
This beautifully composed shot is of Walt, standing in the strangely empty Waldorf even though two major events are happening, and watching a bride and groom pass by. He realizes he wants to go do something authentic for himself, so he calls Bennett, who comes right over and they make up and admit they miss each other terribly. Bennett conveniently is grateful Carrie got him fired because it's led him to volunteering -- and then working full-time -- with AIDS and HIV patients, and he feels fulfilled, and Walt hugs him, and I was SO AFRAID Bennett would have another boyfriend but he doesn't because WALT. Walt is everything.
The Ex Diaries
Carrie runs into Weaver, who is there to take a meeting. He apologizes for being a loser, and advises her to take the Interview job because she's a born writer and she needs to have life experiences. He's basically telling her this because that's what HE did, I assume, since he's a 19-year old playwright who doesn't appear to be in school, but Carrie doesn't notice that. She also doesn't acknowledge that going to college IS a life experience, and that she could stand to meet and socialize with some more people who didn't grow up in suburban Connecticut. I mean, whatever if she doesn't want to go to college, but the argument that it's not life experience and/or won't be fertile ground for a writer's mind is absurd. Also, why is no one mentioning the possibility of going to college and writing for Interview? She's ALREADY writing for them unpaid. Throw her a by-the-word paycheck every now and again and get the best of both worlds. (I don't think the original SATC addressed whether Carrie went to college, beyond that she moved to Manhattan when she was 21 or so; in the Carrie Diaries books, she went to Brown.)
The Date Diaries
So Walt suddenly has no problem bringing Bennett to Prom. Shouldn't this have been greeted with more fanfare and/or trepidation? Isn't this basically him coming out to his class? There is a moment when someone gets up with a loudspeaker and says, "Let's all announce our Queen of Queens," and I was legit scared this was going to be some dicksmack making fun of Walt and that Walt was going to have to screw up his dignity again and be awesome and stand up in the face of jackholes, which would be VERY EMOTIONAL FOR US ALL, but instead they were talking about Prom Queen. So... I guess we're just going to let Walt be out and happy, which I'm not mad about because I am Mad About Walt.
The Jens Diaries
The Jens aren't in sleeves EITHER. EVERYTHING STRAPLESS. WHY. They also use Donna's coronation to confront her and reveal to the class that Donna is a lying brainiac who READS AND THINGS!!!!! And Donna recoils in horror. It's actually pretty funny.
The Crowd Diaries
While all the shenanigans happen on-stage, this is basically what everyone looks like. I thought you might want to see the DOUBTFUL expressions and also everyone's clothes. Maggie and Mouse are in glorified tutus, as are the Jens, and the entire color scheme seems to be coordinated around Carrie's dress.
The Shenanigans Diaries
Anyway, this all leads to a) Bennett trying to pretend he's Donna's manly college boyfriend who thinks it's great that she's smart; b) Mouse carrying the flag for smart girls being cool, but via a terribly boring and uncool speech; and c) Donna's date Pendleton walking up, taking her crown, and saying tenderly (I am paraphrasing, I think), "Donna, I don't care that you're smart, or that you... read books and STUDY. Because you still have the sweetest rack in the entire school," and placing the crown atop her head. It's well done because it manages to be really funny while also conveying that you should not be ashamed if you have a brain.
The Pumps Diaries
Sigh. Carrie is wearing neon platform pumps. I give up.
The Dreamboat Diaries
HOWEVER, her expelled boyfriend who couldn't come inside decided to rent a tux, buy her a rose, and wait outside for Carrie so that he could still be there with her. Sebastian is the best. Sorry, Jake Ryan. You were only in khakis.
The Confrontation Diaries
Walt tells his parents that he has to be himself, and that means he has to be free to live his life as a gay man. His mother seems disgusted, but his father is moved; late,r when Walt is preemptively packing his things, assuming he's being kicked out, his father comes to say to Walt, "You are my legacy," and that he's proud of that, and he cares more about Walt than about his beloved Dartmouth or somesuch. Listen, he's no Dadshaw, but it's sweet anyway.
The Other Confrontation Diaries
Meanwhile, Dadshaw is enraged that Carrie has decided to work at Interview instead of going to college, and calls her rash and irresponsible (pointing out that she never found out about salary, or benefits, or anything), and cuts her off entirely -- no credit cards, no financial help of any sort. He's right that if she screws up or gets fired, she has no fallback place, but... can't she also reapply to college, even if it's not NYU? I mean... I also do understand that a paying job at a major magazine IS a pretty massive deal. Everyone is being so freaking dramatic.
The Desk Diaries
Carrie shows up to work in a very loud 90s-style tight spandex dress and accepts the job, and then AFTERWARD asks Larissa about the pay and benefits. Larissa waves her down to human resources and says she doesn't do details and it's all going to be just great. I hope the series finale isn't all about Carrie having to figure out what "HMO" means.
The Dorrit Diaries
So, Scott tells Dorrit he flipped the script on her: The whole time he was pretending Prom was lame, he was actually having an awesome time, and he wanted to go, and so he tricked her into thinking they were doing it subversively. Dorrit is appalled and then totally turned on by his trickery, so she decides he IS a bad boy after all and consents to holding his hand in public. Scott, you deserve better.
The Couple Diaries
So Carrie and Sebastian walk together in the park, her in a cute purple coat with a massive C on it, and him with the guilt of knowing he needs to tell her he's moving back to Laguna (although he quite sensibly told his dudebro that it'd be fine because he and Carrie could make plans to fly her out for visits, because again, he's all sexy-rational). But Carrie is upset because things with her father went horribly, and she says to Sebastian, "You know how much I NEED YOU, right? YOU ARE ALL I HAVE," because her dad is mad and her friends are going to college other places, and Sebastian just hugs her sadly and keeps his secret. Ohhhhh, I have bittersweet feelings about where the final episode is going to go. I just hope they uncork a firestorm of '80s stuff on the way there, because this is probably ending forever, so HAVE FUN GO MAD. Can we JUST PLEASE Wang Chung tonight, just once?