The Good Bang
Diane makes the comment to Alicia somewhere in this run of four episodes that she is an able stand-in for Will Gardner, and I think it's interesting that this dovetails with Alicia being a lot more forward with her sexual appetites. There was a time when she resisted Finn Polmar in this very office (I think) and now here she is, letting Jeffrey Dean Morgan kiss her, before yanking down her own hose and straddling him. She'd better hope nobody else was in the office (security turns the lights off at a set time, although that seems crazy in an office full of hungry associates who are probably working until midnight... but then, they're on another floor anyway).
We also have learned the NSA is wire-tapping Alicia again and so every time she does the banging near her phone, they get a recording of it. PERVY.
The Good Bender
Alicia is seizing the day, and lots of other things. She and Jeffrey Dean Morgan open an episode with a sex bender that is truly delicious. They watch Roar, which is weird, while they snack...
The Good Scrub
They have a steamy shower on several levels... and I assume this means the actors get along swimmingly, because we haven't seen Alicia this all over a person since Will...
The Good Meal
... they eat ice cream after, because JDM is a tasty fantasy INDEED...
The Good Book
He reads in bed while she cuddles him, glasses and all; I can't tell what he's reading, but... hang on...
The Better Book
Aha. Now THAT is a proper scene. [Background, if you need it.] Anyway, now that Jeffrey Dean Morgan is naked with our book, we can move onto the other thing they did together...
The Good Meal
That being, eat pizza in robes -- and yes, he answered the door to the delivery boy in Alicia's pink silky one. I loved this whole thing. To me, he is perfect.
The Good Nooky
This all leads to a subplot where Alicia's mother storms in -- needing to discuss a scam she's been sucked into, and ensuing money lost -- and discovers Jason. Enter Alicia's brother, with bagels. Enter Eli. And enter the kid who brings a summons for Alicia. "Come in! We've got bagels!" sings out Alicia's mother (the inimitable Stockard Channing). "Sure!" grins the process server, all while Alicia is standing there in a bathrobe trying not to plotz.
It's worth noting that the only mention of Peter is when a doorbell rings and Stockard chortles, "Hope it's not Peter. THAT would be awkward!" It was a nice light beginning for the show. Don't ask me why Eli seemed not to have an aneurysm over the presence of JDM while Alicia is in a bathrobe; I've decided he just blocked it out.
The Good Guest Star
Elsbeth Tascioni pops up for one episode, doing yoga in the middle of her consultations, because a Grand Jury is investigating Peter and nobody knows why. I admittedly tuned out of a lot of this, but she's only in it for a brief shining hour before turning things over to her ex-husband...
The Good Guest Star's Ex
... who is played by an actor I like to think of as The Dude From Armageddon -- You Know, The One Who Isn't William Fichtner or Owen Wilson or Michael Clarke Duncan or Steve Buscemi Or Bruce Willis Or Ben Affleck. He's got an equally quirky style, which involves toting his dog around everywhere. There also may be the implication that he has Elsbeth in some kind of sexual thrall, the likes of which reminded me vaguely of Ron Swanson and Tammy 2, but with reversed roles. I don't know. I just report the news. Badly.
The Good Eavesdropper
Alicia sneaks into a handicapped bathroom and realizes she can hear the Grand Jury testimony through the vent. It's illegal for her to listen, being a lawyer, but it is NOT apparently illegal for ELI to listen as long as he doesn't disclose that he's doing it. So Alicia points him in the right direction and he spends two or three episodes being highly irritated anytime anyone with needs wants to use the bathroom, which plays funnier than it sounds (I am failing at words today). He gets an imperfect picture of what's being said up there, but it helps them suss out that they THINK one of Peter's donors is being investigated. Of course, the whole issue of voter fraud rears its head again, and... y'all I'm sorry. I'm doing a terrible job at the plot. The fact is, whenever Alicia wasn't getting it on with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, I found my attention drifting. It's the last season. Send Peter up the river for something and end the show with Alicia no longer a wife.
The Good Breakup
It's not going to end well for these two. As usual, constant mutual suspicion and crossed wires lead Cary and David Lee to decide Diane wants to ditch them and turn LAL into an all-female firm. So they hire JDM to investigate this... and Diane figures this out, and this in turn GIVES her the idea to start an all-female firm. Her first stop is recruiting Alicia, who wrestles with whether to warn Cary but then (against Lucca's morally correct advice) does not. It's there that Diane flatters Alicia by saying she's a Will Gardner and Cary isn't, and blah blah blah playing to Alicia's ego AND her obsession with Will is always the way to her heart.
However, are we FREAKING SERIOUS that YET AGAIN musical chairs will be played here? Why do ANY of these people have ANY clients anymore? They've shown they are incapable of stability. They've been 164 different firms in two years. FIRE ALL OF THEM.
The Good Addition
I continue to adore Lucca, even though they've backed off giving her anything to do except listen to Alicia. Other than the bottom left dress, she continues to wear great patterns and offer superb "I'm ONTO YOU" facial expressions. Alicia convinces Diane that Lucca is a shining star and nets Lucca her own office on the associate floor, which has everyone hating on her but Lucca doesn't care. Remember that time she went dancing with Cary? Yeah, no one else seems to, either. Including them. Cush Jumbo is a treasure but nobody had a plan for her and that's showing itself now.
The Good Jewelry
I am going to miss Diane Lockhart and her necklaces SO MUCH.
The Good Accessories
I mean. That's SO GOOD. If I were a professional lady, I would have a Diane Lockhart Pinterest board.
The Good Tweed
Yep.
The Good Brooch
A brooch AND a necklace? Diane! You're so extravagant. Where is Gary Cole?
The Good Blair
This was sad. Blair Underwood was cast as a single dad raising his daughter -- which we saw flashes of in the cold open -- before she was gunned down on prom night by a stray bullet that was being fired next door. She died in his arms. If ever there was a place to die... seriously, I find Blair Underwood both hot and charismatic. I cannot fathom why he is not on a show right now. EVERY starring vehicle of his seems to die. I think Team Underwood needs to refocus and get him as a solid B-plus player on an established show, like those CW comic-book ones (Legends of Tomorrow, anyone?), or Scandal (Olivia Pope needs a love interest who is not seeking to control her through psychosexual shenanigans). AMERICA. PLEASE LET'S MAKE BLAIR UNDERWOOD HAPPEN.
The Good Hug
Blair sort of loses his case against the gun shop that sold the weapons, but also sort of wins, because Judge Denis O'Hare tells him he must pay a ten-cent fine for every day he leaves up the billboard calling out said shop (which is owned by Gossip Girl's Dorota, which delights me, and I like pretending it's ACTUALLY Dorota). Therefore it's affordable for Blair to leave it up until the end of time. This feels like janky judicial practice but also awesome, and when he and Diane hug each other in moral triumph, I had a moment where I was like EVERYBODY GET SOME. I don't really want her to cheat on Gary Cole. But if Gary Cole suddenly became polyamorous, I'd be way into Diane and Blair.
The Good Attorney
Some college thinks Grace plagiarized her admissions essay because it was run through a software program designed to identify such crimes. It flagged a quote from the Sermon on the Mount as plagiarism -- and honestly, quoting the Sermon on the Mount in an essay about her upbringing is THE MOST GRACE FLORRICK THING EVER, and not in a great way -- and Alicia lays into them and effectively browbeats them into retracting the complaint. Now Grace wants to be a lawyer, so that she, too can yell at people for money.
The Good Yogi
I have no earthly idea why Alicia owns or is wearing this ensemble. Are we to believe she just did a spot of in-home yoga?
The Good Mackage
No worries. It doesn't stay on her body for long. She saw JDM greet a blonde with a kiss, and it sparked all these insecurities because she's getting attached, but then Lucca helped her realize a) she should talk to him, and b) she should just have fun for once. Alicia, having gotten in touch with HER inner Will Gardner, decides that as a married lady who is banging her investigator, she can't get upset about whatever he's doing (with his "old friend from New York," as he tries to explain, in what seems like a genuine attempt to assuage her). She's not jealous, they're still nailing, it's cool, everybody tongue each other.
The Good Neck
Awww yeah.
The Good Smug
He's just so PLEASED with himself. AND RIGHTLY.
The Good Trio
These three go out for a post-work drink, and Lucca correctly interprets that some heavy petting needs to happen so she runs off in search of chips. Because they're at a restaurant where chips are available but not delivered to you? WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY. #champagneproblems
The Good Hand Job
And then. AND THEN. In public, Alicia and JDM look like this. "I wasted the last 20 years of my life. I'm not wasting the next 20," she says. That's awfully revisionist. I mean, I guess if her bucket lit says "Lick Jeffrey Dean Morgan In Public," then yes, the last two decades were useless to her. But she was happy with Peter until a few years ago -- she didn't miss Will Gardner until she had him, lost him, then realized she could've had him a lot earlier and longer; to claim otherwise is a lie, I think -- and the implication that being married to Peter and bearing his CHILDREN was a waste means she still hates THEM, too, which is her least attractive quality. I am allowed to hate the Florrick spawn for being terrible, because I am not their mother. She is biologically tied to them, and her disdain for them is really off-putting to me.
ANYWAY: She gets in his face, she purrs in his ear, they breath-bang each other right there in the restaurant in full view of anyone with a phone... and she then unzips his pants and gives him a handie while panting all about how hot it'll be on the cover of the Sun-Times when the governor's wife is arrested for a lewd act. The camera pulls back as I hope fervently that Lucca had to walk to the next county for her chips.