Whoops

As Heather pointed out in her recap of Jane By Design, some ABC Family directors get us plenty of good shots of the clothes. Some of them seem to only shoot every single episode from the waist up, as if every actor is secretly in a wheelchair. This is a rare look at Emma-As-Sutton's outfit in this particular episode. It's cute -- classic, and basic. Which is appropriate for her character. Here, she is about to lie and say that she drove a car into a lake for fun. Like you do.

The Next Day

These are Sutton/Emma's friends, Char and Mads (apparently no one in Arizona goes by her full name. Don't let ScarJo move there). What else DOES one wear when going over to one's friends house to comfort her after her terrible mean mother has gotten busted for a DUI but a crazy dominatrix bodice? I ask you.

Of Course

And what else do you wear when your mother has gotten a DUI than something last seen on The Dinah Shore Show? This is both hideous, and the outfit that inspired me to start fugcapping these. So, thanks, Char. Sorry about your drunky mom. (Charisma Carpenter looks good, right? She's Char's aunt. She may ALSO actually be Sutton/Emma's Secret Biological Mom, although the show is trying to convince us she isn't. There's a lot of, "I don't want to talk about THE PAST, Adrian Pasdar" coming from her, and a lot of squirrelly expressions. Regardless, who doesn't enjoy a little Cordelia Chase?)

FORE! Oh, wait. Wrong sport.

Poor Emma has to spend the rest of this episode in this kind of unflattering tennis outfit. (She is a tennis star despite having to hone her craft on the public courts of Las Vegas due to being POOR TWIN. If only this show would do a Rich Twin/Rich Twin Poor Twin/Poor Twin crossover with Ringer). I would like to note that I love this show for the fact that neither the actress who plays Sutton/Emma (who is quite good), nor the one who plays her sister Laurel, have giant cheesy hair extensions. I can't remember the last time I saw actresses on a teen show with their real hair and only their real hair. It is refreshing.

Nefarious

These two seriously spend all their time in the bushes talking about Something, but saying nothing. There was another scene, which I actually forgot to get a shot of, in which Charisma Carpenter was hiding in a bush in the cutest DVF wrap dress -- which worked better on her than this does, although this is totally serviceable.

Move, Bug

These outfits both look super cute -- and I love Mads's red bag -- but I can't see them, due to the GIANT BUG in front of the girls. ABC Family is out of control with these on-screen graphics lately. Last week, a HUGE Jane By Design one totally obscured half the subtitles for an all-ASL conversation in Switched at Birth. Not cool.

The Next Day...

What ELSE would you wear to clean up after your friend's terrible drunk mom had a terrible drunk bender out by her pool? In fairness, they are on their way to school afterward. I am so relieved, looking at these girls, that I went to a high school with a uniform. I am NOT relieved to see, judging from Mads, that those skintight dresses they sold at Wet Seal in the early 90s are apparently back in fashion. The only people who could pull those off are....well, this actress. Emma looks cute, though, if very retro. Thank you to the director of THIS episode for giving us a look at the goods.

FORE! This time, I'm right.

Here is Laurel, Sutton's sister, talking to her Dad and her Boyfriend FOR NOW. This dress is adorable on her. Too bad her happiness is NOT TO LAST.

Again With the Bug

THIS outfit is really cute on Emma, too.

Cute Again

And this dress, I just LOVED. You know how I love a yellow. Too bad Laurel's boyfriend is about to cruelly dump her, even though Things Were Going So Well, and she just gave him The Precious Flower of Her Virginity (although kudos to this show for not making a giant huge deal of that aspect of it). OBVIOUSLY, he doesn't really want to break up with her, but he has Secrets and blah blah blah he never meant to fall for her yadda yadda but he's out to avenge his mother's death. It's all Laurel's dad's fault, because he was Distracted By Something Mysterious when he was taking out her appendix. Or something. Whatever, all you need to know is that Mysterious Justin the Golfer Has Secrets, and Laurel is about to get her sweet heart crushed.

Crushed, I tell you

At least her accessories are really cute, even if her heart is broken.

College Tour

Oh, right. This is the part where Poor Emma realizes that if she were Rich Sutton, she would get to go to college. And I realize that this simple blue shift is ALSO really cute. The costume designer is kicking ass in this episode.

Naturally

What else do you wear when you announce to your friends that you're sending your terrible mean drunk mom to Terrible Mean Drunk rehab?

SHORTS

These are shorts, I'm pretty sure, but this whole look is actually really cute -- I love the faux-Chanel cardigan. Which is good, because Emma is going to be wearing this outfit for seriously like the next two hours. Here, she and the boys (her bf, and Char's brother who is in love with Sutton even though she kind of used him) think Sutton is dead. She's totally not, so don't worry.

See?

She's right there! And she's crabby, not least because she basically has to spend the next several hours in a Juicy Couture jumpsuit circa four years ago. Oh, and because she almost drowned when her car went off a bridge into a river and she's been hiding out in some gross motel with her biological mother who conveniently saved her from drowning after having broken out of the mental institution someone stuck her into. TALE AS OLD AS TIME.

The Next Day

Char looks like she's going to a Studio 54 party. Emma looks like she's in costume as Sarah Palin. It is not Halloween.

This dude

I just included this dude -- a "charmingly" bratty dude with an "English" accent -- to note that (a) you know he's a bad boy because he's going to ballet fundraisers without actually properly putting on a tie and (b) for like 20 minutes, I thought this was actually the actor who played Oliver on The OC and I really wish it were, because that would increase the likelihood that someone would get shot in a hotel room.

Speaking of the Benefit

Poor Emma is about to be forced to be Emma again, due to a series of shenanigans involving Sutton being manipulative and having a cut on her head. At least she looks cute. Laurel looks TERRIBLE, all depressed and droopy. BUT, given her recent heartbreak, I think she IS depressed and droopy, so it is apropos. Nice job, show!

Fug the Show: The Lying Game, episodes 1-3

Are you watching this show? It's quite entertaining, and the clothes are a mix of Adorable and Cracked Out, which is obviously exactly what you want in a TV show, if not on your own body. Obviously, since we haven't been covering this from the get-go, I'll need to catch you up. BASICALLY: Sutton and Emma are twins separated at birth. Sutton got adopted by a rich family and grew up into a mega-bitch. Emma ended in a series of foster homes and is Kind and Good. Blah blah blah Sutton tracks down Emma and asks her (Emma) to impersonate her (Sutton) while Sutton is off searching for their birth mother. A LOT of shenanigans ensue, as well as A LOT of people giving each other Meaningful Glances, but where we are now is this: after beaucoup drama, Sutton is back, and Emma -- who has, of course, improved Sutton's life immeasurably simply by being nicer to people (especially Sutton's boyfriend, whom Emma has kind of stolen, but....details) -- has to go back to being herself. There is a lot of mysteriousness surrounding Sutton's (adoptive) parents vis a vis the twins' biological parents, and Adrian Pasdar is lurking around seeming nefarious and hiding in bushes having whispered conversations about nothing with Charisma Carpenter, who does not use Botox, to her great credit. Sutton's friends and sister have a lot of boy drama, as is de rigueur for ABC Family. Let's take a squizz at their outfits.