LYING

This is Sutton, back in her real life. You know it's Sutton and not Emma, because she has sexy bedhead, and Emma would never. Also, she's molting. Even Mads is all, "that's a lot for school, babe."

LIARS

Meanwhile, Laurel is wearing THIS to school, which is totally ridiculous. She's like 15, and it's a cocktail dress that shows underboob. Put on a cardigan! Even Justin -- who was dating her for REVENGE but now might actually love her -- is all, "really? It's 7:30am on a Tuesday, girlfriend."

LIES!

Here, Sutton and Parents are off to the Country Club, which is basically the only location ever used on this show. EVERYTHING happens at the Country Club. It's the Peach Pit After Dark of TLG. Which is apt, given that I'm SURE Kelly Taylor once wore something similarly lingerie-inspired at some point.

GAMES!

Meanwhile, poor (and Poor) Emma is locked up at their summer cabin, and you know shit has gotten real because she's wearing TENNIS SHOES and SWEATS THE HORROR.

GAMERS!

While she's slumming it, Sutton is being mean to Laurel and dressing up like she's on her way to a formal toga party.

FALSEHOODS!

At formal toga party where Mads is wearing ELBOW-LENGTH OPERA GLOVES. In fairness, that was the height of chic at my prom. In 199mumble.

LIES!

And this is how you know Charisma Carpenter's character is EEEEVIL. She makes this face anytime anyone looks away. And also, she went secretly shopping for an engagement ring because she's BEWITCHING Adrian Pasdar into marrying her AS REVENGE. Or something.

GAMES OF LYING!

Um, can we talk about how this is Sutton's screensaver? This is hilarious. If he were Johnny Depp, that's be the cover of one of my Tiger Beat-branded school folders from 199mumble.

LYING ABOUT GAMES!

I also need to point out that NOW Laurel is wearing over-the-knee boots to school. My mother would NEVER have allowed me to wear Julia Roberts In Pretty Woman shoes to school. Or anywhere.

UNTRUTHS

Meanwhile, Sutton looks like an official tour guide at EPCOT. She just needs ears.

LIARS

I would like to thank the director and editor of this episode for making sure we know that Mads is wearing socks with Mary Janes, like a latter-day Cher Horowitz.

MORE LYING

"Hey there, I'm just calling to remind you that I'm evil. This Chico's shirt is just a smokescreen."

EVEN MORE LYING

Meanwhile, Mads is going to school dressed like Joan Holloway. I mean, that outfit is great, and she looks gorgeous, but this look is EXTREME for midterms. When I was taking midterms in 199mumble, it was a personal victory to make it to school in actual pants. Although technically I had a uniform. Of which pants were not a part. But you feel me.

SO MUCH LYING

Oh honey. Putting a trench coat on over hooker boots just makes you look like MORE of a flasher.

ALSO CAPES!

Please. Do you really trust this woman? She looks like she flew over on her broom.

SEX LIES AND VIOLIN TAPE

On the other hand, I'm thrilled Laurel eventually realized that Less Can Be More. She looks very pretty here.

GAMESSSSS

NOTE: They're making the dude who plays Thayer -- he's Mads' brother who is in love with Sutton, but she just used him for sex a couple of times -- wear a cardigan UNDER a blazer. He's like 19, not your preppy western lit professor.

LIES!

...or maybe their midterms have a dress code. I guess anything is possible.

Fug the Show: The Lying Game

Here's my issue with this show, which the same issue I have with Pretty Little Liars (which I also really enjoy): I have seriously no idea what's happening, exactly, ever. All the I HAVE SECRETS and WE DON'T KNOW and WE AGREED NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT EVER and I'D SAY MORE BUT NO are really fun for a while but then you realize you have literally no idea what the hell is happening. Sometimes, Truths Must Be Revealed To the Audience or you get into WAY too much of a confusing plot -- and things that are supposed to be thrilling reveals are not, simply because you forgot what means what anymore. That being said, this show is fun, even if I can't really explain it to you. All you really need to know is that Sutton is still a TOTAL bitch who is terrible to everyone, and she and Emma are still swapping lives when it makes sense to do so; she and British Dude had some kind of awkward post-loss-of-mutual-virginity face-off back in 9th grade and she might be trying to steal him from poor Mads; Emma is a saint; ABC Family has decided to let the actress who plays Laurel sing with her actual band, on the show, which is going to be tiresome; Adrian Pasdar SEEMS evil but is basically just ruled by his junk; and Cordelia Chase IS evil, and is probably (I think) Sutton and Emma's real mother. I do LOVE Evil Cordelia Chase. Let's just look at their outfits and not worry so much about plot, shall we?* *PS: I still have no idea what "a lying game" actually is, and people on this show talk about them like they're something we're all familiar with, like basketball. If she's "playing a lying game," WHAT ARE THE RULES? Or is that just a fancy way to say, "she's just f-ing with you, dude"?