Christina
I really wish I'd seen Blake's face when she marched out in this. What you unfortunately CAN'T see is that if ANY pants were present, they were minimal, as all we got glimpses of were some fishnet stockings and they appeared to go pretty far up. Oh, CHRISTINA. Please make Burlesque II. With Cee Lo.
Christina
These were her looks from the previous episode. Clearly she decided she could not live on blush and a straightening iron alone.
Christina
So, the day after the tiara-and-fan episode, she busted out this -- also with a fan -- for the results show. I like to think of it as her audition for Game of Thrones, which would be a deliciously incomprehensible marriage, actually. Make that happen, too, girl.
Cee Lo Green
When I saw this, I got scared for a second that the cat died. But as far as I can tell, Mr. Purrfect is still with us, and Cee Lo just wore this to bring his "Team Purrfect" some good luck. Kind of like a jersey. They should have a flag football team. Or maybe if LA gets an NFL franchise (AGAIN, like, have we not learned from the last two who tried here and failed?), they can be the Los Angeles Purrfects. I would be all in for season tickets.
Cee Lo
See, the week prior, Cee Lo wore these "two" outfits. I put the two in quotes because I am not entirely convinced he changed clothes.
Cee Lo
Maybe he just ran out of evilly dapper suits. Fortunately he followed up the cat shirt with this, and I can't believe I just wrote a sentence that involved the words "fortunately" and "cat shirt."
The Voice
We need to talk, though, about the over-the-top set design this show uses. I MEAN. American Idol tried to get all artsy, and the best they could do was: a) a three-headed Jessica Sanchez while she sang "Bohemian Rhapsody," which was so terrifying that even Jimmy Iovine recoiled, and b) a bunch of free-standing doors, with nothing on either side, that they made Jessica Sanchez walk through and close dramatically, as if it meant anything at all. Poor Jessica Sanchez gets the worst stuff on that show.
The Voice
This kid -- the one who always performs in some kind of Varsity letter jacket -- had a whole makeshift front porch AND a fake girlfriend for his big performance.
The Voice
This was for an admittedly lovely operatic rendition of 'Ave Maria.' But it's starting to feel a little like Eurovision up in here -- I mean, obviously, Eurovision would have used people DRESSED as candles instead of actual candles, but still. We're getting to a very silly place.
The Voice
I MEAN. This poor lady got plopped inside a giant neon heart, like a really terrible episode of Star Search.
Cee Lo
At least Cee Lo and his wig got to stand inside a giant fake TV set, before he busted out and started getting jiggy like the proprietor of the world's awesomest ice cream parlor.
Florence
Poor "and the Machine." Nobody seems to care about them.
Florence Welch
I will say, though, as tired as I get of all Florence's ethereal caftans, they DO make an effective statement on-stage, especially in combination with her voice.
Cee Lo
And speaking of: The fact that Cee Lo is clad as a gold-plated gladiator PALES in comparison to the fact that HE WAS WEARING LIGHT-UP TEETH. They all were. Blacklit, or neon, or glow-in-the-dark mouthpieces... I have no idea, but IT WAS CRAZY. And kind of amazing. It reminded me of the time Ross Gellar got his teeth whitened on Friends, and you could see them even with the lights off. Ross and Cee Lo would have gotten along very well, I think. Cee Lo strikes me as someone who would actually LISTEN to all of Ross's paleontology factoids while he was waiting for his White Strips to finish.