> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fug the Show: Wolf Hall, episode 2, "Entirely Beloved" - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-wolf-hall-episode-2-entirely-beloved/ - Published: 2015-04-15T19:00:22.000Z - Updated: 2015-04-15T07:00:16.000Z - Author: Jessica - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:41 ## Scene-Setting Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2015/04/img_9607.png) These title cards are very useful. ## Scene-Setting Hall 2 ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9608.png) I mean, right? ## Majestic Robes Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9612.jpg) I love how every time Damian Lewis strides into the room, he goes full Hans Holbein about it -- fists on hips, robes a swinging. Herein, Cromwell is trying to argue Wolsey's case -- god, I always want to type "Molesley," and then "Wolesley," which is surely what happens when you recap too many things on PBS --but Henry hisses that he can't talk about it. But he later also gives Cromwell a thousand pounds for Wolsey and bemoans that he misses him terribly, thinks of him everyday, and has massive religious and personal guilt over the whole thing. I guess it shouldn't surprise any of us that HVIII is the master of mixed messages in his personal relationships. ## Mycroft Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9614.jpg) I forgot to introduce you last week to Stephen Gardiner, who was once Wolsey's secretary, but who eventually is Henry's Master Secretary, and I think actually is working for Henry at this point in the story (since Wolsey is off mouldering somewhere and Gardiner is here at the place holding papers and being smug). You may of course recognize Mark Gatiss for his role as Mycroft in *Sherlock* and his performance here is A DELIGHT. He is consistently delighted by how Cromwell is seemingly beset at every turn, but he doesn't come across as evil. It's very well done. ALSO, here's my usual caveat that I am SURE to mix up my Players in The Matter of Henry v. Catherine And the English Reformation, so always pop into the comments with further intel. ## What? Me Worry? Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9618.jpg) Over to Poor Wolsey, who does not live to see the end of this episode. There are a lot of Symbolic Animals in this episode -- a set of black kittens are born under Wolsey's bed, which he thinks is a bad omen, and which Cromwell spins to be interpreted as "new life," in what is far from the only time he'll be a masterful spin doctor this episode. Cromwell further assures Wolsey that he will return to favor and will not end up in the Tower. All these things are untrue. (Well. Technically he doesn't end up IN the Tower. But he was certainly en route to the Tower. Like, literally. Actually on the road to being thrown in there.) "You LAWYER," Wolsley says, affectionately. ## Gregory Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9621.jpg) Young Gregory Cromwell is home for Christmas with his greyhounds, which are a matter of contention that I have to admit I didn't really follow. ## Fireside Chat Hal ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9622.jpg) He tells Cromwell that the other kids at Cambridge tease him because his greyhounds are black. "Only felons have dogs you can't see at night," they tell him. So Cromwell gives him one of the black kittens that Wosley gave him and Gregory is like, "the dogs will kill it," and then they just stare at each other, and then later Gregory has white greyhounds, and Cromwell is asking his sister-in-law Johane if she thinks Gregory is afraid of him. I think Gregory is just incapable of understanding your metaphors, Crommy. Did you...want him to feed the kitten to the dogs? Or are you just sad he didn't understand your veiled metaphors about giants? (FWIW, I don't think Cromwell was offering up the cat as dog food. I think he was trying to impart a lesson and the reason they were staring at each other at the end of said scene was because Gregory had no idea WTF his father was talking about, and Cromwell couldn't believe his son was so dense.) ## Awkward Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9627.jpg) This was a fantastic scene. So, the aforementioned Johane has been staying with Cromwell and Ralph/Rafe since his wife and daughters Tragically Expired Thanks To Ole Timey Weird Illnesses. And she's giving him advice about the kids and somehow the conversation winds around to babies, and how long it's been since Cromwell's had one in the house, and she's all, "don't look at me." And Cromwell asks if her husband doesn't "do his duty by \[her\]," and she says, "his duty's not my pleasure." And then everyone looks at the floor/wall/fire/candles, and she leaves, and he says to himself, "there's a conversation I shouldn't have had." I laughed out loud. ## Spelling Is Hard Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9628.jpg) This is Thomas Wriotheseley, who may or may not be a spy from Stephen Gardiner, and who may or may not act as a double agent for Cromwell, spying ON Gardiner, but who DEFINITELY is a snappy dresser with languid facial hair and a penchant for fur, and who stops in the middle of attempting to spell his name and just says, "Call me Risley." And, in fact, Cromwell calls him Call-Me-Risley. (He's also IDed in the book as Call-Me-Risley, which always made me laugh.) ## Fifty Shades of Wolf Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9630.jpg) In which Wolsey's long-suffering....assistant? (It's always hard for me figure out what exactly people's jobs are in this. Tudor England had such a lot of WEIRD jobs.) Anyway, this is George. George here tells Cromwell that poor Wolsey has been beating himself as a form of penance when he's not laying in his fur-covered bed and thinking about kittens. And this kicks off a conversation about how to get Wosley -- look, basically this entire episode is moving the Cardinal from place to place and it doesn't work, in the end. He's still arrested for treason, and dies en route to the Tower. Poison, George says. Whether he poisoned himself or WAS poisoned is not clear. (Wikipedia says Wolsey died of natural causes but what does Wikipedia even know?!?! [Wiki does, however, offer this fascinating tidbit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas%5FWolsey?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io): "Wolsey had planned a magnificent tomb at Windsor by Benedetto da Rovezzano and Giovanni da Maiano but he was buried in Leicester Abbey (now Abbey Park) without a monument. Though Henry VIII contemplated using the impressive black sarcophagus for himself, Lord Nelson now lies in it, within the crypt of St. Paul's Cathedral. Henry often receives credit for artistic patronage that properly belongs to Wolsey." I love this. "Whatever shall we do with this FABULOUS sarcophagus?" "I dunno. I might use it for MYSELF. No, wait. Let's have it bang about empty for two hundred years and then plonk a sea hero in it." "Great idea!") ## Grand Entrance Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9633.jpg) You can't tell very well here but I swear His Majesty is wearing a weather balloon. Actually, this is also yet another scene where Cromwell is sassy to Henry and Henry loooooves it. Henry, in fact, asks Cromwell about some BS issue about someone's ship as an excuse -- I think -- to talk to him specifically about Wolsey, and there's this amazing moment where he wants to speak to him alone and he gives the rest of his posse this tremendous, "WELL GO ON ALREADY" hand gesture. Damian Lewis is -- unsurprisingly -- terrific in this part, but I think what I like best so far is how vaguely irritated he is by his required hangers-on. He also tells Cromwell to ask Wolsey to pray for him. "Every day I miss the Cardinal of York," he adds. It's to Cromwell's credit that he doesn't bellow "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO GOT RID OF HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU'RE THE KING!!!" right at him. ## Thoughtful Italian Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9636.jpg) I cannot remember the name of Cromwell's Thoughtful Italian Friend Who Throws Regrettable Dinner Parties With Delicious Sauces, but he is an excellent conduit for exposition, and here we learn that there are already rumors that Anne Boleyn is banging one Thomas Wyatt and everyone has heard about this but the King. "She interests you," says Thoughtful Italian Guy. "A world where Anne can be Queen is world where Cromwell can be... \[Enigmatic Shrug\]." ## Blessings Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9637.jpg) Wolsey's advice to Cromwell is to get in good with Anne, and then gives him a small, enameled box. "For when I'm gone," he says. Cromwell spends the rest of the episode unwrapping it and looking at it, but he does not open it until the end has come. ## WTF Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9642.jpg) Over to Thomas More's house, which is honestly just a PARADE OF CRAZY. More clutches a white bunny half the time, like Dr Evil on Easter Sunday. ## WTF Hall 2 ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9643.jpg) Additionally, More's fool is wearing wings on his ears and fully HARASSING Stephen Gardiner, and More has to hand over the bunny so that he can corral him. (Gardiner has the juicy bit of gossip that said fool SUPPOSEDLY fell off a church roof and onto his head, but he doesn't totally buy it. He thinks Sir Thomas More employs a FAKE FOOL simply to eff with people.) ## Long-Suffering Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9645.jpg) Which leads to Cromwell awkwardly holding the bunny while he and Gardiner talk about for whom Call-Me-Risley actually works (neither of them know if they're the spy-er or the spyee). "I'm sure he has a lot to learn from...whatever you call yourself these days," Gardiner says eventually. "A PERSON," Cromwell says. "The Duke of Norfolk says I'm a PERSON." ## No Seriously WTF Hall 3 ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9648.jpg) In additional zoolological shenanigans, Mrs More has a MONKEY on the table with her. (My great grandmother married a man who owned a monkey. Just a bit of trivia). She also asks Cromwell why he hasn't remarried. "No one will have me," he tells her. "Nonsense. Your master may be down, but you're not poor. And you've got everything below in good working order, haven't you?" Cromwell doesn't get a chance to weigh in on this because the line of questioning prompts a lecture from More about her excessive drinking. Personally, I think the drunk lady with the monkey who asks men how their penises are faring might be the exact person I'd want to hang out with at this event. ## Stay Classy Thomas More Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9650.jpg) This is considered appropriate dinner table convo, Chez Thomas More. They're speaking about Martin Luther and Tynedale (the dude who translated the Bible into English who we learned about last week), and Cromwell handles More like a BOSS. That said, this does not seem like a very relaxing dinner. MASTERPIECE THEATRE: WHERE DINNER IS NEVER, EVER PLEASANT. ## Viking River Cruises Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9651.jpg) This is actually exactly how Heather and I travel on official Fug Business. (These two talk about whether or not Stephen is getting any; he fusses that HE IS IN HOLY ORDERS!!!! This is also the exact conversation Heather and I have whilst on Official Fug Business.) ## Mary Boleyn Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9653.jpg) In which Mary Boleyn tries to talk Cromwell into marrying her, kind of, mostly because she knows it would ENRAGE her entire family. She also warns him that Anne is in a bad mood, and tells a very unflattering (to Anne) story in which, after Henry swapped genital alliances between sisters, Anne told Mary, with regards to whether she was going to allow Henry access to *her* Great Seal, "this isn't France, and I'm not a fool like you." Anne is not a nice person. ## Anne Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9655.jpg) You should know that I am the worst and didn't get a screengrab of one of my favorite moments in this episode, when Cromwell, en route to seeing Anne, gently flicks That Dick of a Lute Player on the ear. (That Dick of a Lute Player is Mark Smeaton and it may not surprise you to learn that historically he comes to a bad end. But let's get real. Like 80% of the people in this slide show have a bad end coming to them.) ANYWAY, as predicted by Mary, Anne does have a favor for Cromwell, although first she introduces him to her chaplain, Thomas Cranmer. Cranmer eventually becomes Archbishop of Canterbury, and then writes the Book of Common Prayer and then Queen Mary goes and executes him for being a heretic, as was her wont. A LOT of people in this show do not get to die with their heads attached to their bodies. ## You Have a Future in the New Yorker Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9656.jpg) Anyway, Anne has found THIS in her bed, speaking of beheadings. Well, technically, she didn't find it. "That sickly, milk-faced creeper" who turned down the sheets found it. She wants Cromwell to figure out who the psychic cartoonist in their midst is. ## Jane Seymour Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9657.jpg) Do you remember that Sickly, Milk-Faced Creeper of whom Anne was just being so disparaging? Here she is! Ah, Jane Seymour! The king's favorite wife, mostly on a account of -- as Nick tells Bex during a tour of Windsor Castle in *The Royal We* \-- her not living long enough to annoy him. And her sleeves are INSANE. It's like her arms are protruding from two giant vaginas. She also notes immediately that her French is awful, which means her spying (presumably on the Boleyns for the Seymours) is NOT going well. She seems very sweet and totally dippy and she drops the little tidbit that she hails from a place called...Wolf Hall. DON'T WE ALL, RIGHT ABOUT NOW? ## This Seems Like a Bad Idea Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9659.jpg) Yeah, so of course Cromwell and his sister-in-law Johane eventually get it on. There's a terrible lot of people sleeping with siblings' spouses on this show: Catherine of Aragon was married to Henry's brother Arthur; Henry slept with Anne's sister Mary; and now Cromwell has hooked up with his wife's sister. All y'all are really complicating your own lives! ## Dudes Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9665.jpg) So, everyone is watching Henry practice his archery whilst Norfolk worries like an old lady about all the terrible terrible terrible things that might befall him (the King, not Norfolk himself), and then where will they be? Henry's only living child is a "talking shrimp." AND A GIRL. I still don't know who the dude on the Far Not Cromwell Side is, but he is the only one of them who seems reasonable, and who is nice to Cromwell. (It MIGHT be the dude who identifies himself as Harry Norris later, in pitch black, but I can't tell.) "A woman can't lead an ARMY," Norfolk grouses. "Her grandmother did," Cromwell notes calmly. MIC DROP. (Elizabeth of York was no slouch, but I assume he means [Isabella of Castile AKA Isabella of Isabella and Ferdinand, AKA the Two Spanish Rulers All Americans Know About Thanks To Columbus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isabella%5FI%5Fof%5FCastile?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io). Her Wiki is a CORKER: poison! War! Broken betrothals! Insanity! A dude called Philip the Handsome! \[[Who wasn't that handsome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip%5FI%5Fof%5FCastile?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)!\]) ## Show Off Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9668.jpg) It's convenient that Cromwell is good at archery, thus placing him a step closer toward Henry's heart. He's wooing the king like a suitor. Henry also gets into this whole reverie about how one day, he's going to come down and toss Ye Olde Crossbow around during Cromwell's Weekend Crossbow Pick-Up games when the Lawyer's Guild plays the Butcher's Guild. He's very excited by the idea of being the ringer on Cromwell's team, IN DISGUISE. Oh, let the poor thing come out and play for once. He never gets to have any fun except for how he gets to do almost everything he wants except for that ONE thing that he REALLY wants, which is cast off his wife and start a whole new religion so he can marry this other lady. ## Walk and Talk Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9670.jpg) And this leads them to a private conversation. "Can I speak?" Cromwell asks. "God, I wish someone would," Henry says. The plight of a king who wishes people would just TALK TO HIM LIKE A PERSON is truly universal for those of us who like to write about the royals. Anyway, Cromwell tells Henry that -- FYI! -- he thinks the monks are corrupt and also probably are lying about Jesus but who would know because the Bible isn't in English. And Henry, of course, is like, "yes. I could use the money the monks have and ALSO I have some ISSUES with the Catholic Church right now TELL ME MORE." He then natters a bit more about his marriage, and basically tells Cromwell that he is having REAL ISSUES with having to wait. "Anne says she'll leave me. Says there are other men. Says she's wasting her youth." Cromwell wisely says nothing. Everyone in the twenty-first century thinks, "Anne should maybe shut up about other men pretty soon." ## Nightmares Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9676.jpg) And indeed that night, Henry calls Cromwell to Greenwich because he had a bad dream and he needs a pep talk. He dreamt of his dead brother, visiting him from beyond. "He's come back to make me ashamed. For taking his kingdom. For using his wife." Cranmer launches into some kind of limp yadda about God's will, and once again, Cromwell tells Henry exactly what he wants to hear: that a visit from the dead can only be an endorsement, and that Arthur wants Henry to become the king he never got to be. "He cannot fulfill the prophecy. A prince come out of Wales. But he wills you to do it," he explicates. (What prophecy? you ask. [FALL DOWN THIS WORMHOLE.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mab%5FDarogan?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)) This proves to be a VERY EFFECTIVE pep talk. "I knew who to send for. I always do," Henry announces. Yes, yes, poppet. You do EVERYTHING right. ## Sharp Dressed Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9679.jpg) Call-Me-Riseley is not subtly dressed, for a possible spy. Cromwell is in a GREAT MOOD the next morning -- because he's in good with the King AND he knows he just did something that will garner him favor with Anne, AND he got some action from Johane -- until Poor George shows up and explains that Wolsey is dead. ## DEAD HALL ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9682.jpg) Remember how I just told you Wolsey died? It's true. Look. Dead. And they're not even going to use his sarcophagus. ## Masqued Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9684.jpg) Later there is, of course, an insensitive masque at court in which "Wolsey" is dragged down to hell, something that Cromwell watches emotionlessly but that I think Henry, deep in his heart, may not have liked, no matter how much Anne delighted in it. (She did send Harry Percy, the boy Wolsey refused to let her marry, to arrest him and drag hm to the Tower. Anne holds a grudge.) ## Privy Hall ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9687.jpg) And we close the episode with Cromwell being sworn in as a member of Henry's privy council. ## Well Accessorized Hall ![wolf-hall-recaps](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2015/04/IMG_9690.jpg) And putting on the item in the box Wolsey left for him, his ring, as he swears he will have revenge. Everybody, get out your red Sharpies! IT IS ON. WOLF HALL! [Fug the Show: Wolf Hall, episode 2, "Entirely Beloved"In which Cromwell wins over Henry VIII to land himself a spot on the privy council, Wolsey kicks the bucket, and we all learn that life at Sir Thomas More's house is really, really weird.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2015/04/img_9607.png)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-the-show-wolf-hall-episode-2-entirely-beloved-04-2015/)