Tara and Jedward

Between the hats, the adult underoos, and the cargo Zubaz, they look like they're in costume as famed Club Kid(s) and exsanguinologist(s) Jedward Cullen, who obviously has just opened New York's hottest club, "Zzzzzzzzip," which Stefon will try to encourage you to attend because: "It. Has. Everything: lawn gnomes, framed pictures of your Aunt Mabel doing gymnastics, handbags, and ZZ Tops -- you know, that thing where Jedward squats in front of your chin for ten minutes while you sing about asses."

Jedward and Tara Reid

There is nothing more natural in this world than two men strolling a hot summer beach in shirts, buttoned blazers, and skintight jeggings (because their whole life must be rooted in "je-" portmanteaux). Also, this photograph really DOES prove that when the movie of their lives is made, Robert Pattinson must play at least one of them. Which means they'll have to greenlight that pretty fast, which in TURN means they need to hurry up and win Eurovision. Also, you'll be pleased to note that I royally brain-farted on that at first and wrote, "hurry up and win Wimbledon." Although that would actually be an EVEN BETTER ending to the movie, so now someone just needs to please quickly teach them tennis. Maybe Tara can do it. She's already got a distinct Bjorn Borg vibe happening here.

Tara Reid and Jedward

"I'M ON A BOAT, Y'ALL. AND MY HAIR DOESN'T EVEN MOVE. SOMEBODY TELL BJORN BORG TO STOP THE BOAT SO WE CAN SNAG A SPRAY OR GEL ENDORSEMENT DEAL BASED ON THIS MOMENT."

Tara Reid, Jedward

At first I thought there was no way this manner of leaping could end well for their coifs, until I remembered they basically have Ph.D.'s in the jumping arts.

Jedward, Tara Reid

Well, shoot. One of them is walking the plank. I guess that's why it's handy to have a matched set.

Fug Yet Fab: Jedward, With An Assist From Tara Reid, Of All People

In the previous post, I noted that slim celebrity fashion pickings of late threatened to necessitate posting snaps of Tara Reid in St. Tropez with Jedward (whom you might remember from Eurovision in 2011 and 2012, or, if you live in the UK, from a LOT of things). And one sentence later I was basically like, "WAIT. I should post them VOLUNTARILY." Because LOOK AT THEM. And since approximately five photo agencies were in possession of these, I have to assume that T-T-T-Tara and the Jeds are completely fine with the Internet making a vacation album for them. You're welcome, kids. Naturally, it's best envisioned as a montage replete with star wipes, set to "Farewell, My Summer Love," by Michael Jackson, but I hope this will do for now. [Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash]